Chicago Daily Tribune Newspaper, March 1, 1874, Page 11

ES © TH CHICAGO DAILY TRIBUNE SUNDAY, MAR Eche- and juzgramy, Chrozosticons, picrosespic Maivels in Penmanship and Mechanism. Ths Autometa of Vancanson, Haillar- det, and Iderlin, From Chemlers’ Jouraal, There cre,” £ays Montaipne, “a sort of little §oacke, and frivolous subtlotics, from which men fometimes expect to derive repatation and ap- pisuse: as the poets who compose whole pooms ith every line beginning with the samo letter; sud weseo the shapes of eggs, globes, wings, sud haschets, cut out by tho zncient Greeks, by the measure of their verses, muking them longer or shorter to represent such or such s figare.” To men of such ingenious but frivolous winds w6 owe the invention of auagrams,’ chronos- ticone, pelindromes, and similar trifies, con- elructed at on oxpenditure of time, thought, and Jabor out of &1l proportion to their value, whick may be tct down at nil. One who held the gearclung oub of ANaonsvs s dainty device of wit, depicts the anagram-hunt- erbiting Lis lips and_pen, eeratching his bead, bending bis brow, and tearing his paper, without bia perscveranco obtaining even sucha miserablo reward s awaited Bunyan's efforts, when, after much profound cenitation, the famous tinker torned John Bunyan into ‘Na hony inaB. Heppier & groat deel, but yet far from per- fect, was tho result of William Lysle's altempt ;11:!01.\ the names of himself ard his bride, Joyso oe : Heart that has felt more grief thaa tongue can tell, Now, O rejoyee, for Alimy ilis el Oldys proved a better hand st turning an ana- grammatic couplet in his liues to a friend : In word and Will I am. a friend to you, A one friead Ol ys worths a hundred now, When the anagrammatists ato most enceessfal, they tell us nothing new ; s are none Lhe \iser for being informed ¢hat astronomers_are moon- gtarers, and Jawyers . sly-ware ; that Parliament i5 an assewblaze of parlinl men, and tho tele- En;vhn(:!en'. Lelp ; nor is it nows tous that ivingstone was given 1n lost, or ihat the great treveler will * po (D.V.) and visit Nile ;” and the ingenious individuel who lately evolved, © So note tho contrury man,” aud “ O boar, are not thy manners cool?" out of a certain Mlivister's prme, with the aid in tum of the prefixes * Rt.-Hon.” and “ Ri.-Honorable,” fs ot titely _to get pemsioncd for his pains, a8 happened to & fortu- pate French anagram-meker ju the reign of Louis XTIL. Anaerams ero passably amusing, which is rore than we can say of chironosticons, wherein the capital letters do chronological duty, msin ' M oat of whil be picked. Scholers, poots, and wits have often tried their skill st inditing Day is Closed in Tmmortality, tho dato of Qucen Bess' death is to ECHO-VERSES, somoof thom producing exiraordinary speci- mens of polsglot rhymea. Hslf-2-dozen short stanzas from 32 Enzlish_echo-poem mey be ac- copted 22 3 aie sample of this sort of composi- n: 40, wondrous Echo, tell me, Am 1 for marriage or cel et owy Beesy!” “If neither betng grave nor funuy ‘Will win this maid to matrimony 7 “Try monoy I" 1 T should try to gain her hearty Sball T go plin, or rather smast “Smart 17 #Bhe mayn't love drees, and I, cgain, then, May come too smart, and shelll compliin then.” “ Gome plain, thea 7 #Then if {0 marry me I teass hor, Wzt will she say if that shoaid please her 7 © Picoge sir 1 “Yhen wed, she'll change, for Love's no sticker, And love her husbznd less tian liquor ! “ Then ifck her !” o verso was perfect in tho eyee of a pangram- metist-unless it contained every letier of tho slohabot ; & fatsl blemich, in the opinion of lipogrammatists, who plumed themsclves upon therr cleverness in excluding one or other of thom. Pindsr condeecended to write an ode without making uee of the letter 5; another Greek poet ;producad sn epic in tweats-four books, each “named after the letter not to be found'in it ; & work pozsibly on a par in literary mesit with the sonoet submitted tothe Persiad eritic by its author, apd returned with the re- mark, that ho might improve it by leaviug ont all ihe lottera IN EVERY WORD IT CONTAINED. Lopede Vega wroto a_reries of five novels, omitting A 1o the first, E in the sccond, I in tho third, O in ihe fourth, and U in_tle fifth, _ reading _which ' impelled Lord Holland {o write his “*Eve's Legend ” without wsing any vowel eeve K. Abat literary eerobats ehould think they deserved the world's zpplause for such performances is not 80 sirange, when we remember how grester writers bsvo somotimes cxulted in triumphing over trivial troubles of their own making. Le Sage cpostrophized the pen which had served to writo the whole of * Gil Llas 5 and Byron thought it notable ibing to writa **Alanfred” with a single gray goose-quill, Elave of his thonghts, obedient to his will. Dut if thero was any merit in such cconomy, tho poct was surpassed by Plulemon Holland, tho iranslator of Camden's “Britannia,” who, in_ his delight at finishing & folio volume with the same pen bo bogan it with, Lroke out into verso: With one solo pen I wrote this bool, Afado of a gray goose-quill; A pen it was when I it fook, And 3 pen I loavo it etill | Hemight as well have recorded how many times bemended it. Holland, again, was beaten by Dr. Warner, who wrote his' Ecclesiastical Tiistory,” of two folio velumes, and two copics of his folio * Dissertetion on the Book of Com- Taou Prayer,” with & pen that was slready an old one when Lo commenced his-work, and not, ae- cording to hia notions, worn out when he ended; then, vielding to_feminine blandish signed what remained of his faithful ton lady of title, to be enshrined in o gold case, sxd deposited in her cabinet of curiositics. Tenmen guiltless of cepiring o Lhe honors of suthorskip, tasked thicir tingers and endangered tlieir eyes in order to cram the greatest possible namber of words in THE SMALLEST POSSIELE SPACE. Peter Bale, sometimo clerk of the Chancery, vrotetho Lord's Praycr, the Craed, (o Command- ments, a couplo of prayers, bis own name snd official position, with the date of the year, month, nd Queen’s retgn, in such small characters that L2 was sble to inclose tho paper bearing them in “thehesd of n ring.” This odd pieco of work Mester Poter prescuted to Queen Elizsbeth, fogetber with *an excellent spectacle, by him devised, for tho easier reading thereof,” wherowith the Queen 1ead all that wes vritten. We wonder her plain-speaking Msjea- ty did not tell Ralo ho was o fool for his pains ; but, being in a_gracious humor, placed the ring upon her royal finger, in token of her scesptance of the giit, to the gread glorification of the Eappy giver. A Mr. Scarle, who had but two useful fingers at Lis command, wroto the Lord's Prayer, the Apostles’ Creed, seven of tho Commandmente, tho 100:h, 133d, sad 1dith Pealms, with hi¢ name, rddrcss, and the date, within ‘the circnmferenco of & sixpence. An- other sdept at microscopic penmanslLip con- trived to get the Lord's Prayer, tho Creed, the ®hole of the Commandmerts, snd his nsme Fithin the compess of & eilver penay; tod s Liverpudlian rival wrolo = Gold- mith’s “Traveller,” containing 463 lines, 12 3 square of three and = half ioches; thoen- fire book of ““ Malachi " in a sort of pyramid tho ®ize of an ordinary little finger ; while a_circle ree-gizteentlis of en jnch in diameter gave him foom encugh for the Lord's Prayer. Pliny ef- frms the osistence of @ copy of the ' Iiisd 5 ich conld be kept ina nui-shell, which per- 8ps accounts for 1'rof. Schreiber taking the trou- h’r: to procare a stercographic copy of a German nslaticn of Hower's famous work, filling 600 Fanes, but yet so diminucive that a nut-shell Uficed to hold it ; an achicvement surpas: d 17 the Toledo prinier's cdition of *Don Quix- ‘& oeuosing ol fifly-ono cigareit papera. o thot extreme Gftloness must per- force makq & thing admirable, has led to fhat > DEAD OF INGENTITY BEING WASTED I might kave Leen tumed to good zccount. th as beeir pravely recorded that an_ arttist of fi”l\xlec i1 century contiived to delineate s iy on euch & minuto £cale that & fiy would cov- #<ths entwre painung. Vo believe the story just asmuch as wo believe in the Duteh ' Tadscape, tho 520 Of & graia of corm, in vl those with oyes to sec could plainly digcern a mill, with it3 enils beat, and = miller toiling up the ctairs with » ack, o bhorso draw. ing a cart, and weveral pessants trndging alopg_the country road. So, too, we doubt if Pope Paut V. reckoned according t6 Cosler when be profeszed to count 1,600 perfectly-turned ivory dizhes ina peppercorn ease, the work of “the most excellent artiean of that or any o O=wuldus Neribingerns; andsnspeei the g 8 ueed by tho Pope were multiplyng rather than magnifsing ones. Father Johannes Baptista Per- rauius mado tweuty-{ivo woodon ¢annon, all prop- furmslied, for bis penpercorn, and then was olliged {o manufacture thirty wooden cups ere be could pronounco the cisket full. ‘Trade- £cant’s Ark, 23 the muscom of Charles L's gar- dener wos called, boasted tho possession of & peppercorn containing o set of chessmen, Had- rianus Junius sew, at Mechlin, a cherry-stons Lzeket, in which wore fourteen pairs of dics, tha epots mpon them easily disccrnible by an ordinarily gocd oye; and in the Dresden Musoum sy, perbaps, yob bo seen n cherry-gtono, carved with 180 human faces, plainiy distinguishable with the aid of a micro- 8Cop! In 1745, admirers of LITTLL WONDIRS could sce plenty such marvels in tho Strand. At ono shop was exhibited & common Barcelona nut- shell, holding tea-table, tea-boerd, o_dozen cups'end saucers, with & nugar-dish and slop- basin, & bottle, a funnel, fiftcen drinking-glass- ez, fivo punch-lowls, ten rummors, & postle and morter, aud two gets of Dinepins— all of npolished ivory, exquisitely fash- ioned, and to bo casily scen without tho help of [ lemc-glusses." Tho ingenious artist, we are told, was a poor, pootical, peuurious mortal, who being, by tho ciuel destiny of thoplavets, driven tothe jaws of degtruction, had hit upon this method of eaving himself. His chanco, wo fear, was & poor oue 5 for his little exhibition was al- togsthor ontdono by & watchmaker, nmmed Boverick, dwelling near tue New Exchange, hard by. For'the charge of ono shilling, Lie showed bis visitors balf a cherry-stone, from which he fook a quadrille-table, twelve chairs with gkeleton backe, & looking-glass, two doz- en plates, six dishes, twelvo Spoous, » dozen Lnives and forky, two ealts, avd alody and gen- | fleman sitting down at tablo and waitéd upon by & footman. Having exhausted tho contonts of his ahorrs-stone, the watchmaker produced a camel that cou'd pass throngh the e of muddle- sized necdle, and & pair of steel ecissors, war- ranted to cut u large botsehair, of euch dimen- sions thiat gix mighe bp wrapped in THE WING OF A FLY. Then came a chain of 200 links, with s padlock and key, £ttached £o a fle, tho lot weighing one- third of & grain ; 8 four-wheelod ivory chariot, which, with its driver aod the flea corving for steed, woighed barely s gramn; &nd o cranc-necked earriage, wieels turning properly umpon axles, carrying four passeogerg, two footmen, a conchman Eittng on his box with & dog betweon his legs, driviog six ivory horsos, ono of the lenders hearing & postillion, the wholo 2ffair &0 light that o singloles could set it moving. Bocerick's exhibition would have astonished honest Mark Scaliot, tho London biacksmith, of Elizateth's time, who thought Limsclf marvelously clever when ho mado 3 gold chain of forty-three links, with = lock and key, which, being Tastened sbout a flea’s nock, was drawn by itlock, chain, key, and flea weighing cxact- 17 a_grain and a Lalf. Sceliot alsomadoa langing lock of iron, steel, and brass, with a pipe key, filed three-square, with & pot upon iho shaft, and tho bow with two roses, sll elsan wronght,” weighing altogether ono grain. Tn 1771, tho nobility, gentry, and curious of all classes were invited to the Great Room in Exe- ter 'Chango to bekold the result of TWENTY YEARS' CLOSEA EPLICATION, 2 piece of mechanism, eome four and a Lalf feot equaro, representing v goutleman's couniry scat, with baildings, templee, alcoves, grottoes, sum: mer-houses, ponds, and cascades, all complete, enlivened by sbovea hundred moving figures, eraployed in bricklaying, carpentering, plumb- ing, mnson's work, joining, and turaing. Deer Ton about tho park; lndies promennded the garden, round which & six_korse chariot, 3 pair- Borsed’ phsoton, sud s onc-horsed chaise duly progressed; _with _sttitndes and motions 38 Dsturel, if we may take the exhibitor's word, that, although tho figures were none of {hem moré than two inches high, they appeared like life itself. AUTOMATA haye ever heen in hizh favor with men ambitious only of excising wonder, and proferriug to nso the powors of invention and thoir mechanical aoility to amuso tho few, ratber than tc beucht the many. Tho flying wooden pizeon of Archy- {ns, tho brazen bizds snd sorponts of Boetius, the wooden sparrows of Turrvano, tho iron fiv of Regiomontauus, and his weadrods eagle—ibat wooden bird which wo aro expocted to be- Hove flew _from Nurcmberg to wel- come Mavimilion, snd, after saluting bhim, turned round, and led tho procession o the city'a gatex—wore but notable ozemples of mis- ayplied in ingenity. Of whatuse was Vaucan- son’s wonderful Guck, although it could movoits inge, quacs, drink water, eat corn, and digest it u too? Msillardet’s humming-bird, that flew from ita nost for three minutes’ warblo, might bo a thing of beauty, but wonld assuredly not_prova ajoy furever foits owner; while, for bis steel epider end artificial lizard, caterpillar, sud enake, only folkof very gueer tuste woald afiord them louseroom. Tho Bwiss mechapician was_not coutent with fabri- Cating artificlal bizds, reptiles, and inscets. is Vaucanson had Lis aufematon flute-player 2ud piper, Maillardot’s masterpiece was o lady pianist, capablo of playing for an bhour at a time, while her bosom Leaved, ber oyes scomed {o follow the movements of Ler fingeta ovor tho Keys, the pressure of which produced tho notes ; and when sho concluded her performance, sto ealuted her bearers by a graceful inclination of tho head, A hundred years 2go, 2N ODD-SHATED VENICLE, rosembling & sedsn upon wheels more than anything - elee, decoraied with emblem- atical fignres. wes seen- protty regu- Inly every Sundey in Hyde Park, Tho dooys and windows of the conveyanco oponod from the ineide, and, by pulling & string attached to.a. whip, the occupant administered & remindor to the horso whenever he required oae, while a Tance at the dial baforo him told_him how far Bnrod ‘traveled, Everybody kuew Merlin's conch, the pride of its_contriver and owner, of ‘whom an admirer gang : Come, patron cf merit, bright goddees of Famo | ‘Aloud 1o the world Merlin' talents proclaim ; To tho fevorito of Genius 3ou surely should riiss A tributo of Lnsting and glorious praiee | ‘Merlin epont o lifetime in making mochanical oddities, moro_remarkablo for their ingonuity then their utility. His houes in Little Queen inno sract, Marylebone, was crammed with specimens of his skill. Thero might bo sccn a Tk cating stones, o flying-fish * wafting in air,” a frigate in full sail over a mininturo ses, & butterfly sporting around srtificial flowers, a re- duced copy of the coach itsclf, a3 perfect in sc- tion a8 tho grost original, snd other curiosities of ‘the Bort oo numerous to mention ; but we ey note £wo figures ropreecnting femafes, about Bfiven inchos liigh, onoin & walking, the other in & dancing - ettitude, . which performed almost every motion of the human body—of the lead, the breasts, the neck, the arms,”the legs, and the fingers, even by tbe elovation of the eyelids, and tho lifting of the hends to the face. Merlia carried bis_hobby into his_amusements, Hp made hiraself a wheel resembling that of Fortune, and, es that goddess, used to aliend almost all the masquorades, roll- fug along in the car, moved by the motion of his foet, abthe same time distributing his favors, particularly toladies. Ho was not losa fond of representing the character of Cupid &t theso placos of public smusement, and he at the samo time imitated Vulcan in forging his own darts, for which ho had a fire and a forgo ; 2nd them' be likowiso very successfully aimed against tho fair sex.” A man must surely have A DEE I HIS BONNET to dovote the leisuro of ten years to turning old wine-corks and wasps' nests ioto tho melancholy eimiiituds of a fo- mous cathedral; fit_to be paired with tho Exmonth artist’s model of Solomon's Temple, With 11 towers, 188 pillars, 885 pinnaclos, en: nearly 1,000 windows, constructed of shells and minerals. A Frenchman occupied all his spere Tours for four years over a large mosaic land- scaps, composo of £.000 difterent specics of in- eocts, Tho proprietors of the London Taverny fho Crown and Anchor, aud the Freemasons Tavern, were wont, once upon s time, to save 2ll their fish-bones for an ingenious trifler, who, for thirty years, occupied hereolf in trandform: fug thom into Likenesses of floral and feathered favorites, epending tho best part of her life making With bon PO Fruit, L:cs, b ‘phese ] Wortiless a8 they may bo, such things never Iacked, aud perhaps will never lack, admirers. b i scales, and eyes, from the prawn to the irds, and flowers—ch, strxoga metamor- A Fcline Jisadventure. A correspondent of the New York Commercial Adgertiser gends to that journal the following ccount of the misadventures of o pet cat: “In tho upper atory of ‘ono hundred snd sixty’ is a hat-finisbing cstablisbment, shellac beiog freely nsod in the process. s barrel of which, in sola- tion, is_kept standing at s warm tompemtare. Our’ pot, while on aforsgiug ozpedition tho othar night, fell into it ; scrambling out, sho made tracks fo: adistant part of the room, whero sho eat down toreviow the situation ; and, it being & cold niglit, tho shellac quickly set, and pussy was fust o tho oo, Tl portcr found er inthe mornmg ‘unable tomove hand or foot or wiok an eyc.' Deiog kind-bearted, he - Emcnred some hot water and *soaled her loose,’ nt it wes ‘no go, £he was_as helpless as ever, and as fixed as o statme. With o sorrostul faca he filled » tub with water, at a tersperatura of 96 degrecs, and, with a view of cleaning hor, applicd s hot bath, and, after working eomething less than thres 'houe, Le tucceeded admirably; but when *he had finizhed, there was no vestige of hair on tha cat, excepting & smell tuft ab the end of tho tiil. ~Such & ridiculons object you never Baw. R DOES THE UNITED STATES HAYE ENGLAND? From the Albion, F' Tho remsrls which appearzd in odr last, ander the abovo czption, have ealled forth the follow- ing verses, which have appearad iu 3 contempo- rary: JONATIAN TO JOHNXNY BULL. . “rerhon ran T trusty Sword of Ducker Hill, Boliovo me, Brothor Smizh, is sheathed ; And though fho brow of Waihington With laurels over fresl {3 vreathed, Yet Liolds Liis Liand the oiiv-branch Toward Enghind just scros And Yaukes love and Srring blooming from ¢ t patriob-geave, Hate England1® Drothicr Smith, you dote Or quafl too deep of doublo stout; TThe atripling more dislikss his sire, ‘And danghters at ihelr moilier pout, Than chasto Columbia dlstrusts Btatoly Dritanniz, tister dear: They've cir littlo tiffs and hufrs, But now, thank God, the sy 1 clar, Hato Englhnd! Why, mistaken Smith, We learn to spell from: Dritich Looks, And claim a szre di: Jtobin IT And Crusoc’s cruisc, aua Coptata Cookaz And, when wo tall and mozly frow, By Byron awear and nl Tom Mcors, With Wellington win Watetloo, Or Nelson, Spanith Admirals floor. For shiame Sir Smith ] We lovo you ell, From good Queen Vic, to Honcat Arch; Your Baz is oure, oar Crayon yours; Tn progress arm-and-arin wo inarch. ‘Why, Thackeray, You reckless rogue, Wrots the Four Georges for our ear; - . And pardon me f to my mind ‘He 15 tho Thunder, you Small-Bear. + . We lore old England, Goldwin Smith, ‘Her common law, her velvet laweay But not her oguters, 1 confe: And some object 10 ok nns. Thongh most wa love ker friendly fone, e stelwart men and women fair ; And, if you fail to liko my verae, Wiy then, O Smili, g0 rexd Lothalz 13 No, Smith, thero fs o bate et cll, Tat mattal interest, kindzess, t00 3 And auy spectre you may raiso Will provo a baby bugaboo. For know there ia a tio 70 dosT ‘That aught vesides seom simple sloning,— Which not elastic 1x, my frfen: In Anglo-Saxon cilled Gold-Vinning. Mz, Smith, in a recent stamp-rreech, ratd that the Amesican £agle hateth the Dritish Lign, 4 An Esoay on Thunder end Small-Beer,” by Will- m Makepesce Thackors t4 Lothcir,” by the Rizht Hon, Denjamin Disraeli, 18 ramored o bo a pet aversion of tie szusitiyc-minded Smith, 21 ex-Osford Prot Davip G. Avix, New Yoz, Februsry, —_— A MYSTERY. Ouz fricndship was 3 precious thing,— At least I decrued 1t oo Nor did I dream that protious thing Or chango or doath could know, Tet it is dead, though strange t scems, You ask, *'What made it 4 Was befo blama?” T cannot tell : Or was it only 17 T cannot £ea the trnth to-da: Parhape, in coming vears, 1t will ba clearer, when inite eyes ‘Have grovn less dim wilh loars, Poor friendship! thon wert very dear; "Towas hard to make thy grave: And yet [ mey not stop to weep Where cypress-branches wave, 0Oh! sadder Joss than friendship’s joy Must fall npon that hesrt Which dwells clone with w2lfish grief, And frow it will not part, The world hath need of helping hands, Of epirits true and braves And those who worid tho Mrster serve Rlay linger by no grave. 1 fain would help some weary hearts That may havo need of In holping them, T whall for ‘That grave's sad mystery. Caicaco, e e THE SWEETEST MGMENT. From fh= German af Koerner. 0L} s et when Kear together in the oin O when roscs, fondly ¢ O cach olliers Losoms Lic. ‘But, when hearts that lovo united Warm with love cach muteal broast,— Hum:a lovo with Jove This Is sweater thian the rest. Cranizs Nontr GREGORY. — The Story of a Fiat. I'rom the Daniury Ncita. o learn from nowipzper elips and private Tetters, of & rather ridicalous oce in Nor- wall, 0. The horo s & promincnt and respect- ed Dencon—Deacon C., we nnderstand. The other Sunday he started for ch with o old bat on his hend. It was an easy hat, aud tho old gentloman enjoyed it. It appears there are pega to bang bats on in the churches thero. He thus aisposed his headgenr on reaching the church, and took hia seat with tho coogrogation. When the services wero over bo lingored, as i3 czstom- ary and proper for Deacons to do. Ie finally reached fthe poreh, and stopped for ~his hat, and ooy respectablo citizen can imagine tho horror ke cxperionced on bebiolding but ono hat loft, and that & most dilapidated and scandslons-looking article. He could feel his blood boil within him as he looked at it end thought of the mutton-head who owned it and walked off with his glossy beaver instend. Ho s2id out rloud that the owner of that hat was a mutton-head, and ground his denconish heel into the floor, and felt much relieved by g0 doing. Then he tied & handkerchiof sbout his head because the old | bat was -much too large for him and he could not wear it, oven. if flesh and epirit had not revolted againet tho.spectacle. Ie fold the goxton that that hat must Lave been built in a dry-dock, and that the only thing that troubled him in the matter wae now o man with a head of that size got into church anyway. Then he stalked, mojestically - homeward, with tho red handkerchicf wound sbout his head, and the dotestablo hat held. at_arm's length acad of him, aud altogother forming s spcctacle that fastaned tho astonished attention of every be- holder, Arriving at homo ho extended the arti- e, and waiting an instant for her to take in the awfal enormity of the offens he explosively shoated, “Look at that villai ousrag!” The lady looked atit, and was as- tonished. I-don’t wonder you are sick,” ho howled, morosely ; it makes mo sick to think of thebullhead who owns sach 8 smoke-atack, pulming it of on mo, and teking my new ver for himself in mistake! (He ground this out with withering sarcasm). ~ A protty mis- take, I must say, when bis miscrablo rag i8 big enough to cover a cart, and filthy onough to muko s crow sick.” *But that's your overyday Dat,” asserted his wife, in still grezter astonish- ment. * My hat!” gaspod the emazed Deacon, staring at hor with eyes half way ont .of thoir sockets, and then laughing Lysterically, and shivering from bead o foot. ** Certainly it is,” persisted bis wife, ** sad hore is your beat hat,” taling thie article from ils accustomod placo, eid holding it out to him. Without word the mis- erable man senk into & chair, and after staring blankly at his wife for a momont, slowly said: 4 Tho ways of Provideuco aro past finding out ; rub.my heed, Matildy!” e A Peclican in Freland. A pelican_which bad been domiciled in the Zoological Gardens at Dublia for forts-two years Qied rocontly. This bird wes supposad abont 8 years old at the time of his ade tho gardens, which would make him over 50 ab the time of bis dcath. _ Every effurt was made to prolong Lis valuable existence by feeding him on live cels and whisky punch, but old age prevailad, and Le died peaceably on the ap- proach of the cold weather. He drank the punch Tith great relish; in foct e had resided £0 long. in Duirlm ‘thet it must_have ccme naturally to im, and this and the live oels prolonged his life for at least & furtnight. — e Worth. Worth, the man milliner of Paris, is & native of Lincolnshiro, Eng. His father was a lawyer, but became reduced, and his_children had to shift for themselves. Charles Frederick went to Paris, and learced to make dresses. Ho married ope of the young women of the establishment, and together they have graduslly developed the ot celebrated toilet maunfactory in the world. They employ 1000 work-peoplo. | malico twinkle in his gmall THE TACHYPOMP. A DMathematical Demonstration. From Seribner’s for Xarch. : Thero was noibing mysterious zboat Prof. Surd’s dislike for me. I was tho oply poor mathemativian in an exceptionslly mathematical class. Tho old gentleman songht the lecture- room every morning with eagerness, zod left reluotantly. For was it not . A TIUING OF J0%, 2 to find seventy young men who, individually and colleetively, preferred z to XX ; who bad rather differentiato than dissipato; and for whom the lirabs of the heavenly Eodies had more attractions than thoso of carthiy stars upon the spectacular slage? 2 So sffairs went on, swimmingly beteen the Professor of Mathematics and tho Junior Class at Polyp University. In overymen of the seven- ty the sago saw the logarithm of & possible La Plrce, of a Sturm, or of o Newton. Itwesa de- lightfel task for him to lead them through the pleasant valleys of conic sections, and beside iho etill waters of tho integral caleulus, Fig- uratively spesking, his problem was rnot o hard ouo. To had only to manipulete, and climinate, and fo raise to & Ligher power, and the triumpnant result of examiuation-dey was esaured. But L was A DISTORTING FLEWENT, a porploxing unkiown qazntity, which had some- Low erapt into tho work, aud which serionaly threatauad £ irapair the accuracy of his ealcula- it wan o touching sight to behold the vencrable mathematician 83 he pleaded with me ot o utterly to disrezard precedent in the use of cotagents; or as ho urged, with eyesalmost taarful, that ordinates woro dangerons thinga to tnflo with. Al in vaio. Doro theorems went on to my cafT than into my Lead. Never did chalk dosd much work to so littlo purpose. And thereforo, it came that Furnace Second was dnced_to zero in Prof. Surd's estimstion. He locked upon mo with all tlie horror which an un- alzebraic naturo could inspire. Ihave soen the Trofessor walk aronud au entire square rather- than meot tho man who bad no mathematics in his soul. - For Furnaco Sccond wero KO INVITATIONS TO PROY. SUED'S HOTSE. Soventy- of tho class supped in dolegati around the peripliery of the Profeesor’s tea- TLe Beventy-first know nothing of the charms of that perfect ollipse, with its twin bunches of fuchsias and geraniums in gorgnous precision at the two foci. ‘This, unforiunstely enongh, was no_trifling deprivation. Not tizt I lowged especially for segments of Mrs. Surd’s ju- ly-colebrated lomon piés; mot that tha spheroidal damsons of her excllent preserving brd any slinrements; not oven that £ yearned to hear the Professor's jo- como table-talk about binomials, and chatty illus- trations of abstruse parsdoxes. Tho erplana- tion is far different. Prof. Surd JIAD A DAUGHILD. Twonty years bofore, he made 2 proposition of marringe to tho present Alrs. 8, e added a lit- tlo Corallary to bia proposition nob long after. Tho Corollary was o girl. “Abecisea Swd was 08 perfectly symmetrical as Giotto's circlo, and as pure, withal, as the math- cwatics her father tauzht. It was just whea spring was coming (o extract tho roots of frozen- up vegotaiion that I fell in love with the Corol- lary. Tlat she herself was not indifferent, I soon had reuson to regard as a self-evidont truth. The sagacious reader will slroady recognize nearly all the elemonte necessary to a well-order- ed plot. We havo tutroduced a Leroino, inferred 1 hero, and constructed o hestile psrent after the mos? epproved model. A movement for the story, a Deus ez maching, is alone lacking. With con- riderablo satisfaction I can promize A PERFECT NOVELTY in this line, a Deus exmaching never bofore offered to tue public. It would be dizcounting ozdicary intelligence to say that I sought with unwearying assiduity to figure my way into the stern father's good- will} that pever did dullrd apply bimself to matlematics moro patiently than I; that never did faithfulress achieve such meagro roward. Then I engaged a private tutor, His instructions met with w0 botter succass. My tutor's name was Jean Marie Rivarol. o was o uniquo Alsatien,—though Gallic in name, thoroughly Teuton in natire ; by birth a ¥roncuman, Ly education s Germen. His aga was 80; his profession, omniscience ; tho wolf #¢ his door, poverty ; tho skelcten in his closet, » consumng bat uirequit: "Tho most recondito principles of pr: | scierico WERE HI3 TOYS ; the deepest intricscies of abalract science his di- versious. Problems which wero forcordainad mysteries_to mo wero to bim as clear as_Tahoa water. Derhups this vers fact will ex- plein our lack of in tho rela- tion of tutor and pusil: perhaps the failure is alone due to my own unmitigated slu- pidity. Divarcl had Lung about tho skirte of the University for several years; supplying his few vauls by writing for scientiic journals, or by giving sssistance to studenty who, like mysaif, Were ¢haractorized by ¢ plethora of purso and & pancity of idcas ; cookivg, etudring and slocp- Iug in his stlic lodgings ; aud proscenting queer ecperiments all by himself. o wero not long discovering lhat even this cccentric genius could not trau3plant brains into my deficient skall. I GAVE OVER THE STRUGGLE IN DESPATR. An unhappy vear deagged its slow length arournd. A gloomy year it was, brightened oaly by occasional iuterviews with Abscissa, the Ab- bie of my thonghts and dreams. Commencement day 23 coming on apace. I was 800 to go forth, with the reat of my ciads, to astonish and delight a_weiting world. The Professor szemed to avoid mo more than ever. Nothing but the conventionalities, I think, kept Dbim from shaping his treatmont of mo on the basis of unconcealed disgust, At lagt, in the vory recklessness of despair, I reolved to sce him, plead with him, threaten bim if nced be, =nd risk all my fortuncs on one desperats chence. I wroto him & somewhat defiant letter, STATING Y ASPIRATIONS, ns T flattered mynelf, shrewdly givicg him a week to get over tho first shock of borrified sur- prise. . Then I was to call and learn my fato. During tho week of suspense I neatly worried myeclf into a fover. It was first crazy hope, and tlien saner despair. On Friday ovening, when I presented mysclf at the Professor’s door, I was smuch a haggard, eleepy, drazged-out spoctra, that even Misa Jocasta, tho harsh-favored maiden sister of the Surds, admitted mo with commiser- aie regard, oud suggestod peacyroyal tea. Prof. Surd was ot a faculty-riceling. Would I wait? Yea, till all was bluo, if necd be. 7 30183 ADDIE? . Abscissa had gono to Wheclborough to visit a school-friend. The aged maiden hoped I would make myscl! comfortable, end departed to m:l ‘un!mnwn haunts which knew Jocasta’s daily walk. Comfortablo! But T ecttled myself in a great uneasy chair, and waited with tho contrutictory spirit common to such junciures, drending overy szep lest it should berald the msn whom, of ail men, I wished to seo, I bod boen thero ot least an hour, and was growing right drowsy.. At length Prof. Surd came in. Ho ent dovn in the dusk opposite mo, and I thought his excs glinted with malignant plecsuro ss ho said, sbruptly : “ So, young ma: band for my girl 7 T stammered some inanity sbout making up in afiection what [ lacked in merit; abont my 0X- pectations, farily, and the like. = He quickly in- terrupted me. **Yon misarprehend me, eir. Your natare is destituto of tuosc mathematical percepiions and sequirements which aro {he only sure foanda- tions of character. Yonm HAVE NO MATESAATICS IN TOU. Yonere fit for treasun, stratagems, and spoils. _Shakspeare. Your narrow intellect cannot understand_and “apprecinte & gencrous mind. Thero i all tho difference beticen you and a Surd, if I moy ey it, which intervenes between an infinitesimal and an iofinite. Why, I will even venluze to sy that you do not comprehond tho Problem of the Couriers " I edmitted that the Problem of the Couriers should be classed ;ather without my list of ac- complishments ti_n within it. I regretted this fanlt very doecply, and suggested amendment. I faintly hoped thst my fortuno would bo he impstiently exclaimed. * Do you eeck 0 bribe o Boman Senator withs penny whistle? Wby, boy, do you parade your paltry wealil, which, expressod in mills, will not cover ten decimal places before the eyes of man who messures the planets in their orbits, and CL.0SZ-CBOWDS ISFINITY ITSELE 2" T bastily dieclaimed any intention of obtruding my foolish dollars, and ho went on: “Your letter surprised mo mot a little. I thought you would be the last person in tho world to presume toan allisnce here. Buthaving regard for_you pereonally,"—and ngni.n I eaw ayes.—* an ou think yon are & fit hus- and still | more regard for Abscissa's I , 1 bave de- cided that you chall have hor—upon conditions. Upon conditions,” ho repeated, with a half- it are oy 2 ericd T 1 “What are they 2 cried I, cagorly enough. “Only namo thom.” i 5t “Woll, eir,” he continucd, and the do- Jiberation of his speech scomod the very refinement of cruelty, “you have only to provo yorsclf worthy an alliance with a mathematical family. You Lave only to- LISI A TASK give you. Your evos ask mo what it _is. tell” you. Distinmnish youraclf in that noble branch of ebstract scionco in which, you cannot but acknowledge, you ars at present sadiy daficieat. I will placo Absciss’s haud in yours whonover you shall como before mo aud equare the circle 10 my satisfaction. No! That is too eesy a condition. I should cheat myrelf. Ssyperpotusl motion. Howdo you like that? Do you think it lies within the range of cur mental capsbilities? You don’t smile. erhaps vour talerts don' ran in the way of perpetual motion, Several people hiave found thnt theira dido’t. Tl give you another chanoe. Wo were speaking of tho . PROBLE'L OF TUE COTRIERS, and I thivk you expressed a desire to know moro of that ingenious question. You shall have the opportunity. it down some dsy, when you have nothing clse to do, and discover the rinciple of infinite speed. I mezn tho law of motion which shall accomplish an infinitely great distanca in an infinitely short {imo. You may mix in a littlo prac- tical mechanics, it you choose. Invent soms method of taking tha tardy Courier over hia road at the rate of sixty miles a minuto. Demonatrate me Lhis discovery (when you have made it!) mathematically, and approximate it practically, and B ARSCISEA 1S YOURS. Uatil you can, I will thank you to trouble neither myeell nor her.” I could staud his mocking no longer. I stum- bled mechanicallyout of tho room, sud oat of the house. Ioven forgot my hat and gloves. For an hour I walked in the moonlight. Gradu- ally I succeeded to a moro hoperul frame of mind. This was due to my ignorancs of mathe- matics, Had I understood the real meaning of what bo asked, 1 shonld have been uterly despondent, Tarhaps this problem of sixty miles a minute waa not 0 impossible after all. At any rateI cox:ild attompt, though I might nob succeed. RIVAROL CAME TO MY MTXD. I would ask him. I would enlint his knowledge to accompany my own devoted porseverance. I sonsht his lodrings at once. Tho men of scienco lived in the fourth story, back. I had never boon in his room beforo. When I cotored, ho was in the act of filling & becr-mng from & carboy laboled Aqua fortis. “Seat you,” ho eaid. “No. not in that chair. . That is my Peity-Cash Adjuster.” . But he was s moment too Jato. Thadcarelessly thrown myself into a chair of scductive appear- ance. To my nlter amazement it reached out 05 TWO BKELETON AR¥S and clatched mo with s grasp agsinst which I struggled in vain. Thon a skull streicked itsalt overmy shoulder and grinned with ghastly fa- miliarity close to my face. Tivarol camo to my aid with many apologies. e touched a spring somawhere, and the Petty- Cash Adjuster relaxed its horrid hold. I placod wyeeit gingerly in s plain, cane-bottomed rock- ng-chair, which Rivarol assured ma was a safo location, - ©'That goat,” he said, “is sn arrangement apon which T much felicitato myself. Imade it at Heidelberg. It haseaved mo a vest deal of small annoyance. I consign to its embraces the triends who boro, and the visitora who exasper- ate, me, Butit is never 5o useful ss when ter- rifying some tradsman with an insignificant ac- count. TENCE THE PET NAME which I have facetionsly givon it. They are in- variably too glad to purchase relesse at the price of & bill receipted. Do yon well apprehend the idea ? While the Alsatian dilated his glass of Aqua Jfortis, shook into it an infusion of bitters, and tossed off the bumper with apparent-relish, I had time to Jook around the strango apartment. The four corners of the room: wero occapicd respectively by & turning-lathe, & Rhumkor® Coil, » small steam engine, and an orrery in gtately motion. Tables, shelves, chairs, and floor supported an odd aggrezation of toois, ro- torts, chemicsla, gas-receivers, philosophical in- struments, bools, flasks, paper-collar boxes, books dimivutive and books of preposterous size. Thoro wero plaster busts of Aristo- tle, Archimedes, aud Compte, whilo a great drowsy owl was blinking aay, verchod on the bepign brow of Martin Farquhar Tuoper. #1Te always roosts thero when Lo proposes o slamber,” explained my tutor. * You are a bird of no crdinary mind. Scllajen Sie wonl.” Throngh a closet door, balf open, I could see » humen-like form covered with a sheet. Rlivarol conght my glauce. _* That,” said bo, my master-piece. It is i A uczeces, in Androld, s vet only partially complote. And why not? Alberius Magnus coustructed un imago perfect to talk meiaphrsics and con- fute tho schools. So did Bylvester IL ; &0 did Roberius Grosthead. ~ Toger Bacon mada a brazon head that beld discourses. Bat the first namcd of theso camo to destruction. Thomes Aquinas got_wrathful et some of its syllogisms =0d smashed its head. The idea is roasonablo enough, Aental action will yet ba Toduced to laws a8 definito as those which gov- ern the phyeical. Why ehould not Iaccom- plish o mannikin whioh ehall preach os original disconrses nu the Rev. Dr.” Allehin, or talk pootry 83 meckanically s Paul Anapcst? My Android can already sork problers in” vnlgar fractions snd composo fougeis. I hope to teach it the Positivo Philosophy.” Out of tho bewildering confusion of kis offecta Rivarol produced two pipes and flled them. He banded one {o me. i And here,” he said, “Ilive, and am toler- ably comfortable. When my cozt wears out ab tho elbows I scek the tailor and am measured for another. -When I em hungry I promonade my- self to the butcher's and biing homa 3 pound or 50 of steak, which I cook very nicely in thrao seconds by this oxy-bydrogen flamo. Thirsty, Yurlmpn, I'send for & carboy of Aqua fortis. But have it chargod, 'ALL CIEARGED. My spirit is sbove any small pecuniary trane- action. 1 lcathoyour dirty greenbacks, and nover handlo what they call scrip.” #Dat are you nover pestered with bills?” T ukc’d.' “Don't the creditors worry your lifa ous2” & " | & Creditors !, gasped Rivarol. “T havo Jearned no euch word in your very admirablo Inoguage. Ko who will ailow his sovl to bo vezed by creditors is a.rofic of an imperfoct civiization. Of whalt wuso is science- il it cannot svail a_men who- kas se- counts ecmment? Listen. The moment you or any ono cise enters the outsids deor this Jittle electric bell sounds mo warning. Every successivo step on Mry, Grimler's staircesois a gpy and informer vigilent for my benciit. Tho firat step is trod upon. That trusty firat step immediately telegrapts your weight. Nothing con!d be simpler. It is exactly liko zay plat- form scale. ‘The weight is registered up hore upon tlis diel. Tuo second etcp records tho sizo of my - visitor's feet. Tho third his height, the fourth his complexion, and goon. Dy tho time ho reaches tho top of the first fight T have s pretty accurate deseription of him right here at my elbow, and guite & margin of time for : DELTBEBATION AND ACTION. Do you follow me? It iy plaiu evoogh. Oxly the AB C of my science.” T see all that,” I said, “but I don’t see how it helps you any. The knowledge that & cicditor is coming won't pay his bill. You can't escapo uzless you jump ot of tho windoy.” Rivarol laugh= softly. I will tell you. You shall soe what becomes of-any poor devil who goes to demard money of me—af n man of sci- cnce. Ha! ba! Itpleases mo, I was seven eels perfecting my Dun-Supprossor. . Did you Imow,"~he whispered exaltingly,— ‘“did you that there 18 & hole through the carth's Lnow centre? Physicists have l(mg‘ m;ficud ity $was the fust to find it. You havo read how Rhuyghens, {ho Dufch mevigator, covered 1o ellen’s Land an _abys- mal pit which 1,400 fathoms of plamb- line failed to sonnd. Horr Tom, 3 THAT HOLE HAS N0 BOTTOM! It runs from one gurface of the earth to the antipodal surfece. 1t is diametric. But whero is the antipodel epot? You stand mpon it. I Jesrned this by the merest chance. Twaa dcop- digging in s, Grimlor's cellar, fo bury 3 _poor cat T Lind Encrificed in 8 galvanic experiment, Shen tho earth under my spade crumbled, caved in, and wonder-gtricken I stocd upon the brink of'a yawning shaft. I dropped -a-coal-hod in. Tt went down, down, down, bounding end Te- bounding. In two hours and a quarier ihat coal-hod came up again. Icaaght it and restor- ed it to the angry Grimler. Just think s minute. The coal-hod went down, faster and faster, till it reached the centre of the earth. There ft would stop, were it not for soquired ‘momentum. -ond the centre its journey was Telstively upward, toward the opposite aurface of the globe. So, 'losing velccity, it went slower and slower till it reached that surface, Hore it camo to a reat for o second and then FELL BACK AGALY, LR 2 8,000 miles, into my bands, Had I mot interfered with = it, it would Bappressor was born of it. A trap, . wiih & rope in hund. Bivarol could have repeated its journey, time after time, each trip of shorter extent, liko the di- minishing oscillations of & pendulum, till it finally came to etornal reat at the centra of the splisze. st not slow to give a practizal appli- cation to any such grand discovery. My Dun- ‘Just oateido my chember-Goor ; s spring in here; a creditor on ths trap,—necd I szy mare 2" “Bat isn't it o triflo inbuman 2" T mildly sug- gested. * Putting no unkappy being into a per- petual Journes to and from Korguellen's Lond, without & moment's warning.” 1 gise them a chance, When thoy como up the fiist time I wait at thomonth of the shalt It they aro reasouzble, and ill come fo terias, 1 fliug them tho line. if thay porish, tis their own fault. Only. added, with o’ melancholy swilo, “ tho centro is getting 50 PLUGOED UP WITI CREDITORS that T & afraid thero soon will be mo choice whatever for ‘om.” By this tims I lind conceived a high opinion of Wo will now discard ordiary lccomotives and adopt a8 our motive power 2 £cries of COMPACT MAGNETIC ENGINES, distribated underneati the platform car, all along its length.” #T don’t understand thoso magnetic engies. Well, each of them consists of & groat iron horse-shoe. rendered alternately a magnet snd Dot a msguot by an intermittent current of elec- tricity from o battery, this cucrentin its turm regulated by clock-wesk. When tho horse-shod iain circuit, it is a maguet, and it puils its clap- per toward it with coormotis power. | When it 18 ous of the circuit, the next second, it is not 5 magnet, apd it lata tho claoper go. The clzppor, osciliating to and fro, imparts s rotatory moticn to 3 fiy-wheel, waich tracsmita it to the drivers on tha reils. Sncharoour motors. They are no novelty, for triel bas proved thewm practicable. “\With 2 magnetic engino for every truck of whools, we can resoucbly expoct to mave onr immenke car, and to drive it along at a spesd, eay, of omilo a minute. my “tutor's ability. I? auyLody could send me walizing throush spaco ut an infaite speed, Jo it. Ifliedmy pipe and told him tho story. He Loard with grave aud patient attention. Then, for fall half an Lour, hewhiffed away in silence. ' Finaily ho spoke. ' *‘Tho ancient ciplior has overreached himself. Ho has given you s chuico of two problems, both of which he doems insolablo. Neituer of them is insoluble. The only glesm of in- telligence Old Cotangent showed was wLén he said that squaring tho circle was too easy. Ho wag right. It would have given yon your ZLichchen in fivo minutes. I squared the circlo befora I discarded pantalets. I -will show you the work,—but IT WOULD BE A DIGRESIION, and you are in nomood for digressions. Our first chance, therefors, lies in perpetual motion. Now, my good friend, I frankly tell you that, althoush I have compassed thia interesting problem, I do not chooas to use it in your be- p too, Herr' Tom, havo & hcart. Tho of her sex frowns upon mo. Her somewiiab mature charras are mot for Jeon Marie Rivarol. Sno has cruelly eaid that her years dernand of me filial rather than con- nubiel regard. Is lovo a matter of yearsor of etornity > This question did I put to the COLD, YLT LOVELY, JOCASTA."” 4t Joeasts -Surd!" I remarked in surprise, # Abgcigsa's aunt [ e same,” he eaid, sadiy. “I will not attompt to comceal that upon the maiden Jocasts my maiden heart has been bostow- ed. Give me your hand, my neplew in aftfiction 8a in affection!” Rivarol dazhed away not & discreditable toar, and resumed : My only hope_lies in the discovery of per- petusi motion. It will giva ma the fame, the wealth, Can Jocaata rfuve these? If she can, thore s only tho trap-door and—Kerguollon’s T _basbfolly asked to meo tho perpatmal motion machine. My uncle 1 afliction shook hig head. “ At another time,” he said. ‘‘Suffice it ot prosont o say, that it i3 something upon the principle of A WOMAN'S TONXGUE. Bat you =es now why we mus: turn in your , cazo to the allernative condition,—infinite spced. Thero aro several ways in which this mey be sccompliched, = theorotically. By the lever, for instanco. Imagino & lever with o very long and a very short arm. Apply power to the shorter arm which will move it wWith great velocity. The end of tho long arm will move much faster. Kow keop shortening the short arm and lengtbening the long one, and 25 you appronch infinity in their aifforance of length you approach infnity in tho speed of the long arm. 1t would bo dilicult to demonstrate this practically to the Professor. We must seek anothor solution. Jsan Mario will medi- tats. Como to me iaa fortnight. Good night. But stop! TAVE YOU THE XONEY,~— das Gell2" *¢ Mnch more than I necd.” #Good! Let w1 strike hands. Gold snd Enowledga ; Scicice and Love. What may not such a partnership achiese ? Wo go to con- quer theo, Absciess. Torwaris I When, 'at tho end of a fortnight, I sousht Rivarol's chamber, I paseed with some little trepidation over the terminus of the Air Lino to Kergnellen's Land, snd_evaded the- extended rma of tho Potty-Cash Adjuster. Rivarol drew & mug of ale for mo, acd flled himself a retort of hia own pecalicr beverszo. - " (Zome, Lo szid at length. Let us drink sue- coss to THE TACHYPOIT.” 4 The Tachypomp?” “¥os. Why not?” Tachu, quickly, and peingio, pepomipa, to send. Moy it sond you ickly fo your wedding-dsy. Abscissa is yours. 113 done. When shall we start for the prai- rica2” v » ¢ Where is it?"” I asked, looking in vain around tho room for any contrivanco which might scem calcalated to advance ‘matrimonial prospects. T4 ia horo,” and he gave his forohoad & sig- nificant. tap. Thea he beld forth didactically. “Thero 15 force onoagh in existence to vield u5'a speed of sixty milca a minate, or oven mora. A1l wo need is_tlie knowladze how to combino aud apply it. 'Tho wise man will not attempt to aako some great force yleld soms great spoad. Ho will keep adding tho littla force to the little fores, making each little force yield its littla spocd, uniil =a agaresato of little forczs shall o o greas forcs, vielding no aggregato of littlo eneads, & great specd. Tho diiculty is nok in aggroyating tho forcos; it lics in tho corre- sponding AQOBEJATION OF THE SPTTLS. Cne mnsket-bzit will go, say, amile. Itis nob Yzrd o increasa the force of musketa to a thou- sisnd, yot tha Ltonsand musket-balls will go no fartior, and no faster, than the ano. . You see, then, whero onr troublo lica. We cannot readily add sneed to soeod. 23 wo 2dd force to force. My discovory is simply the utilization of n prin- c1plo which oxtorss an increment of speed from esch increment of poswer. DBut this is the mut;mhysm of physics. Let us be practical or nothing. " Whea you have wzlted forward, on a moving train, from the reer car, toward tho enzine, di you over think what yoi wero really doing 2” “Why, ves, I have goncrally beon going to tho smoling.car to hava = ciger.” wirat; tut,—pot that! I mesn did it ever gecur fo yom onsuch sn occasion, that sbso- lutely yoa were - " MOVING PASTER TOAN THE TRAIN? The train passes tho telegraph polos at the rate of thirty miles an hour. You wallk towards the smoking-car at the rate of four miles an_hour. Then yoa pess the telograph poles at the rate of thirty-four milea, Your absolute speed is the apeedl of tho engino, plus tho specd of your own Jocomotion. Do yon follow ma ?” 1 began to got an inkling of his meaning, and told him so. “Very well. Letus advance a step. Your addition to the Bpeod of the cngire Is trivial, nd the space in which you can _oxercise it, lim- ited. Now suppose two stations, A and B, two miles distant by tho track. Imagine'a train of platform cara, the last car matim}' at Bation A Tho train is a mile Tong, Sy, Tho eogino is therofore within milo of Station B. Say tho trein can movo a mile in ten minatcs. The last car, having two miles to go, would reach B in twenty minutes, but tke engine, a milo ahead, would get there in ten, Yon jump on the last car, at ,ina pro- digions hurry to reach Abscissa, who ia at B. 1 jou stay on the last car it will bs twenty Tong minntes beforc you seo her, But the coging ronches 1 and the fair lady in foo. You will La o stupid reasoner, and an indiferent lover, if you DON'T PUT FOR THE ENGINE over those piatform-cars, a3 fast as your legs will carry yow You can run a mils, the length of the train, in ten minutes. There- foro, you reach Abscissa when tho engine docs, or in ten minutes,—ten minates sooner than if ou hed lzzily sal down upon thio rear car, aud taliced politics with the brakemen. You have Giminished tho time by onc-half. You havo sdded you speed to that of tho locomotive to some parpose. Vich! wahr 2" T eaw it porfectly ; much plainer, porhaps, for kisputiiog in the clauso sbout Abscissa. - He continued : “ This illustration. though a clow ono, leads up to a prnciplo which - may bo carried to &y extent. - Our iirst anxioty will bo to spare your logs ond wind. Let us BEDRoso. tbat the Lvo miles of track are perfectly strzight, and maie our train ono platform: car, & mile jong, with porallel rails upon its top. Put a jittle dumayy Cnglno on theso rails, and let it rua to aad fro slang the piatform car, while tho platform car i pulled slong the grouxd track. c ST TIERE? bt it can run o dummy takes your plsce. £y ?e? e mh Taator, Fancy that our locimotive s etroag enough to pull the platform car ovor tho two miles in two minutea. The dummy can sttain the samo speed. ~When tho engino Saaches B in one minute, the dummy, havin gove a milo o-top the platform car, Teached e ® Yo have 8o combined tho specd of thoso tw0 engines os to accomplizh two mniles in ono ioatec Ta this il we csn do? Propsro to oz~ ercise your imegination.” i pipe. L Frailes of etraight track, borween A *Tho forward end. having but a quarter of & mile to go, willresch B in fiitcen seconds. Weiwill csll this platform car No. 1. On top of No. 1 8r0 1aid reils on which another platform car, No. 2, 5 quarter of a milo shorter than No. 1, i moved in precisely the same way. No. 2, in its tum, ie surmounted by No. 3, moving independently of the tiers beneath, and a quarser of a milo ehort- er than No. 2. No.2is a milo and a half Jong; No. 8 mile ond a quarter. Abovs, OX SUCCESSITE LEVELS, are No. 4, a mite long ; No. 5, throt-quarters of amile ; No. 6, Lalf 2 mile ; No. 7, a quartor of a E;k' and No. 8, a shor: passenger-car, on top of “ Ench car moves upon the car boneath i, in- dopendently of all tho othiers, at tha rsto of a milo 2 minute. Each esr has ils ovn magnetia engines. Woell, the train being drawn up with tha latter end of ench car rosting against & lofty bumping-post at A, Tom Furnace, the gantle- manly conductor, aad Jean Manis Rivarol, cogi- neor, ‘monnt by a long laddar to the exalted No.$: Tho complicated mechanism ja sot in motion. WHAT TATPENS 2 “No. 8 tansa quarter of s mile in fiftaen zeconds aud recches tho end of No.7. Jleaus while No.7 s run a quarter ‘thosuna timo and reached tho ond of No. G ; No, 6,3 quar- tor of a mile in fifteon scconds, and reached tho end of No. 5; No. 5. tho ead of No.4; No. +. of No. 3; No. 3, of No. 2; No. 2, of No. 1. And No. 1, i fiftcen seconds, L3 gono its quartes of amilé along tho ground trak, aod has rosched Blation B. All tls kaa boeh dopo in fifteen seconds. Whoreforz, Xos. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, G, 7, and 8 come. to rest against tho bumping-poct At B, at precisely tho Bame secoad. Wo, in No.§ reach B just when No. 1 reachos it. | In othor words, wa accomplish two milea in fiftcen sce- onds. Each of the eiglit cars, moving at the rsto of o milo & minate, has contributed & quarter of & milo to our joarmey, and bes done its work in fifieen soconds. All tho eight did their work at cnce, during the ssme fiffoen seconds, Consequently wo hevo boan whizzed through ho air ot tho somewhat startiing speed of BZVEX AXD A HALF SECONDS TO THE STLE. This i3 the Tachypomp. Does it justifs the namo?” ‘Although a little howildored by the complexity of cars, Iapprehendod the goneral principle 6f the machios, L made a diagram and understood itmach better. * You have merely improsed cn the ides of my moving faater than the train when I was goiug to tho micking-car 7" « Pracigely. 50 far wo L kept within the ‘bounds of the practicablo. To sstisly ihe Pro- feseor you can theorize in something after this fashion : If we doublo the number of cass, thua decreasing by one-Lalf the distonce whick cach bas to go, wo shall attaiu twice tho sneed. Each of tha sixteen cars will bave but ose-cighth of a milo to go. At thouniform rate wo have adopt- od, tho two miles can bo dono in soven and n half instead of firtesn ecconds. “With thirty-two cars, and a_sizccenth of a mile, or twenty rods dilferonce in their leagih, wo arriveat the speed of a milo in less than two seconda; with sixty-four cars, each traveling but ten rods, a mile nuder the second. AIORE THAR SIXTY MILES A MINGTE ! If this isn't rapid enough for tao Profossor, tell him to go on, increasing tho nuwber of hia cara and diminishing tha distance cach oag has to ran. If eixty-tour cars vicld a specdof & mile inside the secord, leb him fancy a Tack; pomp of 640 cara, and smuso himeelf calculating the rato of car Ko. 640. Just whisper to him thot when ho bas an infinite number of cars, with an infinitesital difforsnce in their lengths, ho wil have obtained that infinite speed for which ho eceray to yearn. . THEN DEMAND ADSCISSA." |I wrung my friend's hand in silent and gratee fal admirstion. I could Fay nothinz. “You Lave listened to the mau of thcory,” ba #aid proudly. * You stall now behold tho prac- J tical engincer. Wo will go to the wost of tha Mississippi ood fiud somo smitably les- el locality. Wo _ will erect ~ there on s modal Tmh:.'{mmp. We wit summon therounto the Profussor, bis danghter, ned why not liis fair sistor Jocasia. as well? We will take them & journay which shatt much as- tonish ‘the vencrable Surd. He shall place Abzcissa’s digits in youra and blezs you botk ith an sigebraic formula, Jocasta shall con. template with wonder tho genius of Rivarok . Bat wo Lave much to do. Wo must ship_to St Joseph the vast amount of materials to be em- ployed in thio construction of the Tachypomp Wo must engage » small army of workmen ta effect that constraction, for we ars to aa- mbilate timo and space. Perhaps you had bec ter see your bankers.” I ruched impetzously to tho door. Thoro shou'd be no delay. “Stop! stop! Um Goltes Willn, stop!” shrieked Rivarol. * I laung my vutchar thig ‘morring and I haven't Lolted Lio—" But it was too lzte, 1WAS UPON TIF TRAP. It swung open with a cresh, &nd I was plunged down, down, down ! I felt saif I were talling through illimitablo space. I rcoember wonder- ing, 88 I rushed through the darkuaze, whether I should reach Kerguellon's Land, or stop 2t tho centro. Is seomed an eternity. Thea my courso was suddenly and painfully arrestod. T opened my eyes. Around me were the walls of Prof. Surd’s study. Under 100 was 3 hard, unyielaing plsno which I_Lnow too well was Prof. Surd’s study tloor. Behind mo way the black, slippery hair-cloth chair which Lad belched mo forth, much as the whalo served Jonah. In front of me stood g i PROT. SURD HIMSELF, 1ooking down with = not unpleasant emile. “Good ovening, Mr. Fargace. _ Let 100 yonup. You look tired, gir. No wonder ou Tell asloep when I kopt you 8o long waiting. Shall I get you s glaes of wino? No? Dy tha way, 8inco receiving your letter, I find that yua are & son of my old friond, Judgo Furasce. Lave made fnquirios, and gea 1o r21s0n why you shonld not makae Abscisea & good hurband. Sitill I can see no roason way the Tachypomy shon!d not havo succozded. Can yoa? ————— THE OLD BACHELOR. Bilent he sits tn his easy chalr, AS the clore of the Wintz's ds Tlis gaze is fixed on the flick And histhougits ars far = Ho thinks of the days when . And life was fuil of joy,— ‘When be dally trudiedl 10 tha village-school, . A Bappy, careless boz. 9 | Hzthinks of tho howmo of Lis boyhnod's years, The ol ferm-hou=o 01 the hill,— f father, sod mother, and tear,— “And vith tears his dim eyca 2l * For they are aslvep in tue churchysrd Dow, “And Lio is left alone, To riruggio through life tho beat he may, ‘With tone ta call Lis owni. s een I bia viion 3 malden felr, SWith eyca of hesveniy bl1, den halr, and 3 winniog grace, esrt bota warm and traa, Foud mera ry recalls the shadowy raat, Aud be =ecma to live 3gai 4 In tha tender glance u{l ‘Léu deej-line crez, Tt happiest man of mea, But, alas IB)Y the sliortess of &_r&kl} blizst Diath cizimed her for his bride, And, whon she peaze ] to tte Brtide Land, + ik heart within him di=d, ‘Beref? of ail tit bis soul Lield dear, 0f kindred and of Joiz, He orly walts God's memsenger To summen hir above, iz neighbors call him stern and coid, “And lzugh at hia lomely Lfs 3 airis with wonder ask, 1ked 3 Wifa, 247 i3 thoy kngw of his early love, + “And of hor, bis promised brids 3 ‘Ana littls they knos 2y ; el jeat He kmows tiat tho shafta of riticuls Ara simed at the purest and Lest, Alone ho plods on bin weary way, For ha aever can Iove az Thare 378 0o bins eyea wianan tealer glanse . Can 1n+ks hhn the proudest of men, Sident Le eils in bis cisy chalr, At th cion of tho Winter's diy s ‘Hiy gaze1s fixed o the Sickering Gre, And ug thorghls are faraway. A, C. Dovazas. _————— i_Tho Iate Tady Holland was rather fond of crowding her dinpes-table. Onco, when the o pany was already tightly packsd, an unexpected guest amived, snd sbe inetantly gave her im- perious onler: * Luttrell, mako room!” *It must certainly bo made,” he anawered, *for i and B, On the track a long platform car, Tench- ingmmAmwidunnuxwxnz. mila af R | doed not ezist.”