Casper Daily Tribune Newspaper, January 24, 1917, Page 6

UNAWAY ORATORY SYGEORGE FITCH VE just been reading the romantic story of Montague gan life a poor b parent and two shoes and who bad irnes, who be- with only one just taken bis s in congress to firm, resounding tones. It's all excessively interesting to me and would be, even if any of the facts mentioned were true. For | know Monty Barnes; I've known him for yeurs—ever since the time we sat tn the literary society to- gether at Siwash college and Monty used to get up and make speeches with ® voice that sounded Uke a dried leaf in a wash boller. 1 remember Monty's first speech as plainly as if | had beard fit. 1 can re- peat it word for word. He said: “M-mr. Ch-chairman, I—] w-tnurn we ad- jJoove.” He was holding on to two chairs when be made it. Told me afterward that he stopped them as they were going around him and used them as substitutes for kn He was the shyest man and the worst speaker who ever got into the Gnothautil Lit- erary society. He had sat for a year before he dared make the above speech. And it took tim another year to get so fuent that he could address the so- ciety with the ald of only one chair. I remember bow we ased to look for- ward to the nights when Monty ran the society. As a chairman he remind- ed me of a puny child trying to herd wildeats. You could chase him Into the rafters with a point of order and paralyze him for a whole evening with an amendivent to an amendment. Monty was so meek when we took him io that he bad to have a written Permission to sneeze tn chapel. I used to watch him trying to arrange his knees when he wanted to speak. You know how tinportant tt ts that your knees shall be in good volce when you want to address a meeting. Time after time he would get part way up with a few remarks balanced on the end of his tongue and then his knees would balk and insurge, and by the time he bad braced them up he had mislaid his remarks and the meeting had surged on. I used to pity tim, though good- ness knows I wouldn't have gotten up at that me for the world. | was worse than he, but I was resigned to tt. 1 remember, too, the night when Bar suddenly found himself sailing alon about one thousand miles above sea level, riding his train of thought and feeding new thoughts Into bis mind ns fast as he emptied It I can see now the look of ecstasy on his fnce— the look of 2 man who has just discov- ered how to drive an airplane and ride the gule on an even keel. From that time on you couldn't head Barnes off, He became a society nuisance. He de- bated and orated and remarked at every meeting, and it was a common thing for some member to rise tn the middie of his eloquence and say. “Mr. Chairman, I think time to cup the gas well.” And cow little Barnes ts in congress. It’s two years since te bung out his law shingle. I'l bet he started politi- cal spenking before he got his sign painted, and Tl bet they couldn't stop him, elther, until he had sald what he wanted to. Id like to have heard his campaign. I'd like to have seen the surprise of some of the tough old poll- ticlans who rose up to smother him with scorn and got banged on the head it Is about with the unabridged dictionary, And I'l bet congress doesn't worry him either. He's had Gnothautil training, Monty has, and no measly speaker Is going to head him off when be has a face full of words, That's what old Gnothauti! did for Monty. It did a lot for all of us, too. There is nothing in college that can touch the literary society for teaching a man to get up and slam a few choice, hand-picked sentiments Into the other fellow at a minute's warning. Looking back on those society nights I cannot feel surprised at the large number of awkward youngsters who afterward went ont and began bossing congres- sional districts before they could raise mustaches. After man has spent a few yeurs baling up and delivering bis Ideas in the face of parliamentary ob- Jections, whoops, yells, surcasm and sometimes furniture, a little thing like bypnotizing a well-policed ward caucus is only child’s play for him. They were 80 fatally critical in our society, You covld Gilk to tt as tong as you !nter- ested It and oo longer. And the mem. bers were so pleusantly frank about your little faults of speaking. You didn't huve to guess at those faults— oh. no At th nd of the meeting the critic got up and told the society about them. He made his meaning perfectly plain. We always took care to choose a critic who had a good commund of Jangunge. Literary society olght. wis a great feature at old Siwash. Friday and Sat- urdey nights we frivoled and on Sun- day nights we studied. Monday, Tues- days and Wednesdays we filled up to various unholy ways, but on Thursday nights we went to literary society. On Thursday night chums separated, brothers parted and enemtes tined up aide by side. for half of us went to and between the two there was a gulf as wide as the misunderstanding be tween the national party factions, Of course, our constitutional object as a society was to conduct debates, emit orations, produce extempore speeches and perfect ourselves in the art of ruling a meeting with a firm band when tn the chair, and of upset- ting It in the Interests of the minority when on the floor—two accomplish- ments on which the noble art of self- government was based ontil they be- gan to ring to these new-fangted and un-American primaries. But, after all, our deepest and most throbbing Iinter- est was our rivalry witb Adelphi. It was hereditary. The two societies bad been organized within o year of each other and the first act of Gnothautil was to defy the prestige of the arro- gant Adelphians. In the Jate '40s the two societies fought on the streets after meetings. Dtring the war Gno- thautii paraded ita twenty enlisted members and Jeered at Adelphi, which could only produce fifteen. In the ‘70s Adelphi produced tts first governor, and for three years swept in all the Im- presslonable Youngsters on the strength of the glorious future which the society generously provided its members, In the ‘80s the two societies built fine halls, a dead heat In cost and equip- ment, and started out on the long task of paying for them. After that the rivalry spread out Into a long skirmish line with a hundred fighting points. We owed more money than Adelphi did—but we pulled off grander lecture courses. They had a pilano—but we had two magnificent plaster busts of Cicero*and Demos- thenes. They had more interstate ora- torical winners than we—but we had twice as many debate winners, They had tinted and decorated walls In their meeting hall—but we had a splendid set of leather upholstered chairs, They were ritualistic; we were practical and plain. They were careless in parlia- mentary practice; we held firmly to formal rules and grew rich In fines. They would start a debate on the de- sirability of Cuba and end It on the de- sirability of whiskers, On the other hand, they charged that at the end of a forty-five-minute oration by one of our leading men, during my freshman year, the speaker bnd to waken the chairman in order that the rest of the Society might be fined for Sleeping. On every point we viewed each other with scorn and definnce, It added zest to our meetings and made hard work a pleasure. It made us outdo ourselves each year in our annual open meetings, to which the outside world was Invited —and that reminds me that away back about nine o'clock I started to tell about one of these same open meetings, which T shall now do or forever. hold my peace. The year's rivalry always culminated In the open meetings. We held them on succeeding Thursday nights tn the late spring. First Adelphi performed white we Gnochnutil sat with the other guests and tried pot to show our amusement at their boyish efferts. The next week we unchained our soaring- est orators and most peppery debaters, and I must say that the Adelphians tn the audience always acted like a lot of rhinoceri, so far as appreciation of true wisdom went. Then we spent the next year aspersing each other's last meet- Ing and preparing for the next display. No one realized better than 1 that while | was a loyal member of Gno- thauti! I was not doing my full share to maintain her gh I attended regu- larty, pnid as much In fines as anyone, and could hold my own against any three Adelphinns tn a rough-and-tum- ble talk about our merits on the campus, But as a debater, an orntor, a prize winner, or any sort of a future great member, I was a ghastly failure. 1 had not contributed a peep to the fame of the soclety. It worried me un- til I realized that there must be humble camp followers and sappers and miners in every army as well as tall, towering monuments of gold braid. Then 1 cheered up and began to sap and mine Adelphi to the very best of my ability, I harassed Adeiphi from every quar- ter, I did it unremittingly and relent- lessly. If 1 could not make Gnothautil proud I could at least keep Adelphi worried. 1 harassed them by getting Into the basement and turning out their lights. I conxed a watermelon out of their anteroom over into ours. To- gether with Tom Andrews J persuaded two darkies from the town to go into their meeting and sing banjo selec tions, The frivolous Adelphians wel- comed them with great relief until the singers guve a final encore from the rear door with a. line of retreat estab- lished. I wrote that encore myself. It was all about Adelphi. and t still think it was my finest Mlterary effort. That spring [tt was evident, even to us, that unless something desperate was done, Adelphi would make our open meeting sound like a pale, timid hoot In a churchyard. Adelphi was roaringly prosperous. She had the tn- terstate orator. She had the best de- baters {n school. She had a humorist ,. SE and half of us to Adelphi, ; who was tp tremendous =o in é THE CASPER DAILY TRIBUNE college effairs. She had a real author, who had received genuine money from an actual magazine, and she had 4 quartet which sang original songs. Against this we had nothing out of the ordinary to put up, except a poor old poet who taught school for several years before coming to college, and whose verse made the college paper with difficulty. We were greatly de pressed over the outlook. Somehow I felt that this was my chance to do a great deed for my so ciety, not by orating for tt—the idea gave me cold shivers—but by putting some kind of a crimp in the Adelpli program. This was a most uncom fortable feeling to bave, because | didn’t have the slibtest Idea how to carry it out. No crude methods, Iike putting disulphide tn the hall or cut ting off the heat, would do. That would be like winning a race by hiring some one to hold one’s rival. I had to make Adelphi sinear up its own meeting. {t was an awful ambition. 1 was a! ways cursed by plans five sizes too large for me. They kept me feverish and out of condition half the time. | tried to tell this plan to go lie down nod let me alone. It was keeping me awake oights. But it wouldn't. [t hung around and sat on the edge of my bed and got me hollow-eyed and so nervous that I got to wandering around the town nights to get away from myself. That was how [ happened to stumble into an entertainment to a little church in the South end. It was being given by a church |ii erary soclety—everyone had literary societies in Jonesville—and as soon I heard the extempore speaker 1 be: to get all prickly and perspiring. This was the first symptom of a great idea with me. The extempore speaker was 4 i jill 1h celal a Wi NOT OVER HALF THE VISITORS WERE LEFT. To begin with, thie boy wasn’t tn col- lege. To end with, he wasn’t In Adel- phi. I batted my head against this be- ginning and this ending for a while, and then took the whole business over to “Chub” Frazier and asked him If he could see anything tn tt. “Chub” Frazier’s real college name was “Chubby.” “Chub” was only an affectionate diminutive. He was a tall, lnntern-Jawed young man, who could have used a double-barreled shotgun for a pair of pants If it hada't been for bis feet. He contributed a large share of the ozone In Gnothautil meet- ings and was always adding to the joy of us listeners by rising soberly to In- quire for a blue print and working plans of the speaker's pet Joke, or to announce that the last debater'’s bat- ting average on dates was only .187, and to ask Indignantly if heedless young students were to be permitted to massacre Nero 200 years before his birth without a protest from the so- clety. “Chub” was a junior and skilled in vain deeds, and when he heard my | story he embraced me with vigor. “Petey, my boy, 1 have misjudged you,” sald he. “I have wondered why you persisted tn sitting around In Gno- thautit and breathing up go much of our nice alr, I apologize. You are a patriot. Lead me to this young wind- storm,” It didn’t take “Chub” two hours to arrange the plan of campaign. But he didn’t go to the young man first. He went to the church soc! and ex- plained to the leaders how shocking It was that so talented a young man should be driving a grocery wagon when he should be attending college and preparing to represent bis country j in congress. He did this so well that a subscription was taken up, and within THE MOMENT OF TRIUMPH HAD ARRIVED. a very young man with wavy hair and a flow of words that made Niagara sound trickly in comparison. He was © natural orator, Anyone within three blocks could tell that. They told me as he thundered that be could speak on any subject, and that his word pic- tures were marvelous. They told me also that they always put him on at the end of the program, in order that the audience might leave them when it got enough, for the young man had no terminal facilities whatever. Beyond this one fault he was a fine speaker, they declared, and I admitted it as 1 listened to him. He rode metaphors and similes as soaringly as the eagle rides a gule. He plunged Into the past and drew out bundreds of years of his- tory at a grab. He rose shriekingly to denunciation and sank gracefully into poetry. He was unconquerfble and un- quenchable; also his grammar was most interesting. I stayed until most of the society bad gone, and when I left I was happy. The young man was still spenking, and each hoarse whoop which followed me down the Street made my Idea seem more daz- zling. The freshman speech was one of the features of our open meetings. It gave each society a chance to parade tts most promising freshman orator. Usually it was declatmed with a great fury and as much eloquence as the youngster could muster, We all laughed at these speeches—you couldn't help laughing at the wildly revolving arms —but we took a deep Interest in them ~—for these boys were future college orators and debaters, and whenever a ‘society hud un infant phenom it gave him full swing “at tts open meeting This year there were no phenoms on elther side. 1 was resigned to this fact as far as Gnothautii was concerned, but I was desperately anxious to round out Adelphi’s program. If only Adel- phi could have this young man to be gin {ts open meeting I didn't seem to care who closed It. They might even \mport their senator alumnus {if they chose. It would give me great pleasure to see him walt bis turn. I took my, large new Idea home with me and sat on it patiently for a few days. But it didn't hatch. It was a fine idea, but the shell was too thick. two weeks Mordeaal Boggs was only plivering groceries in his spare hours. The rest of the time he was special- izing at Siwash In rhetorte, composl- tion, oratory and Engtish literature. He was a shy, freckled young man, was Mordecai, for all his eloquence on the stage, and he did not get acquaint- ed very fast. This was Just as it should be, for, naturally enough, before any- one else in college noticed him “Chub” and I were fast friends and felt sure we could lead him Into our sacred so- clety with a wave of the hand. We felt so sure about it that we couldn't help bragging a little. In fact, { was so indiscreet as to mention to Pilcher, an Adelphi freshman, as we were dress- ing In the gym one evening late in March that we had a young freshman cinched for our open meeting who would not only out-orate their whole society but would set the world’s rec- ord for freshman screechers of all weights, heights and cylinder areas, Pilcher wus so scornful that he didn’t spend over half an hour trying to worm the freshman'’s name out of me. It didn’t do any good. I can keep a secret. But Chub couldn't. He got to talking with at Adelphi senlor the very next day, and in the heat .of an argument over the socleties’ merits, running back to the time when Ban- ning, Gnothautii “46, won nine tnter- society debates In a row, he not only bragged about our new freshman but let his name slip out. And the very next day we cuught two Adelphians taking Boggs down to stuff him with oysters and fiction about Adelphi. We were so mad that we made the whole campus etho. -Both Chub and 1 went to the Adelphi president and de sounced ‘their efforts as high-handed, underhanded, backhanded and two- faced, to say nothing of cloven- hoofed, We had practically pledged this young man to our society, we declared. We had induced him to enter college, He bi our property. If they were men y would go away and leave him to us, We almost cried as we pled. Would they go away? Will the Uger go away from the nice, sueculent young lamb? They just laughed at us. We made a desperate effort to persuade Boggs to with. apd Sunb.apa tT bung sround Bim ‘aie AW So He wasn't until a week before thelr open meeting that they finally got him. They ran bim into the society on the very night of our own open meeting—held a special meeting early to do tt—and then they came over in a body and lis- tened to our poor, squeaky little pro- gram with jeers written all over their faces, Chub and I barely existed during that week. The thought that we had lost so promising a young orator filled us with deepest woe. But it wasn't half as deep as our suspense. What tf something should Jar bis relations with Adelphi, and he should really come back to us after all? Between shivers of woe and quivers of fear we had no peace at all, On the night of the meeting we went early in order to get good seats, well to the rear. The chairman took bis seat amid great applause, and after the trifling preliminaries, such as roll call, the reading of the minutes, and the few parliamentary sparrings, just to show the visitors the perfect working of the machinery, the Adelphi! quartet took the stage and performed with tre mendous eclat. The quartet retired after the third encore, and then, with something of a flourish, the chairman stepped forward and In a few well-chosen words pre- pared the audience for an unexpected treat. There had come to college re- cently, he said, a young man, unher- alded, unknown, unconscious even of the great genius which he bore witb him to Siwash. He was a Jonesville youth. Kindly fortune had guided his footsteps Into Adelphi, where sterling character and future abilities are al- ways welcomed and made the most of. And it has been discovered that within this modest, blushing youth there lurked abilities such as fixed Demos- thenes permanently in history and made the fame of the younger Pitt burgeon and wax forever. He was re- ferring, he said, to the newest Adel- phian, and one whom he predicted might some day be the most famous Adelphian—Mr. Mordecai Boggs, who would now deliver the freshman ora- tion on the subjeet, “Our Nation's Peril.” A great cheer rang out from Adelphi and young Boggs stepped forward. It was the proudest moment of his life and he was loaded for it. Without any preliminaries he plunged Into “Our Nation’s Peril,” Inying open the past with one sweeping gash, and calling Caesar, Alexander and Nero from their musty tombs In the first paragraph. For a minute we Gnothautiians were dazed. Boggs certainly did have a sweep of language. It was good lan- guage, too, because {t had been care- fully cobbled up by leading Adelphians, and Boggs was sticking strictly to the text. He sketched in the condition of the world during the days of Rome with a few reverberating sentences, and as he rose to his first climax Fra- zier and I lifted up our voices and gave a tremendous cheer. We had asked and pled just one favor from our fellow Gnothautiians tn that meeting. It was that they should cheer when we did. They now rose to the task and swelled the uproar. The other visitors, slightly surprised, Joined in. A bright smile burst out on Boggs’ face and he plunged ahead with re- doubled energy. It was certainly a grand oration. We had to admit It. Boggs sent the Roman empire howling down to the abysmal depths of degradation in six minutes by the watch, and grabbed up Spain without even a pause for breath. Once again he soared and once again we Gnothautilans allowed a cheer to burst from us, overcome by his eloquence, There ts nothing so contagious as an extempore cheer from the audience. Everybody picked it up and the old hall fairly rocked. It was elixir for Boggs. He took a deep breath, shook his head slightly, as if to indicate that what had transpired was merely a warming-up exercise, and then he went at the rest of that oration like a lion insurging against all Africa. Within five minutes he had left the track and had skidded Into extempore eloquence with an average of four lapses in gram- mar per lungful of speech. It was magnificent. We cheered him at every pause. The Adelphians were getting nervous now and the chairman tried to rap the meeting to order. But he might as well have sald “H-sh” to a windstorm, Boggs was in full career. He was a young man of large chest de- velopment and great endurance, cou- pled with a voice which howled and shrieked like a steam siren as he swept dizzily from climax to climax. He set- tled the Spaniards, demolished Na- poleon and then went back and kicked over the Grecian ciyilization tn four hoarse yells, We rose to our feet and cheered him wildly. He thundered down to the present, fought four revo- lutionary. battles in one chromatis whoop, and then apotheosized Lincoln with an upward swoop cf the arm which sent him reeling backward to the wall. Never had the society heard anything like {t. We got upon. our chairs to emphasize our appreciation. The chairman, hammered frantically and several sergeants at arms came over to us and talked threateningly. But what could they do? When you invite a hall full’of people to listen to your speeches you can’t throw them out for applauding them, Boggs was perspiring freely and the light In his eyes was wild. It was his greatest triumph and ‘he intended to gorge himself on it. In another ten minutes he had lapped up American history and had settled down eomforta- bly though volcanically inic a discus- of present-day problems. We-en- pe tbadl peng fe Wwe could and the result warmed our hearts, It was cer- ca et to extend a s whe Pee a! _—————— eee; that the world was enfirely with him. “And ain't ft true, I ask of you gath- ered here tonight, if the rich are tot getting richer and the poor, my fellow citizens, sinking slowly down into the slimy Jaws of the slough of despond?” “Hurrah I" we answered frantically. “And then you take the money power. Who's got all the money in this country? I tell you, Uttle do we realize the gravity of this here coun- try at this situation. The dollar that the poor men earns by the sweat of his brow ts filched forth from his pocket by the siren call of the financial octo- pus.” “Hurrah!” we yelled again. “You say politics! Bah! Politics is rotten. We think we are free men In America, but what good does a vote do? The most rotten and obliquitous friend of the classes has got more power | say than a million free-born voters of the masses, of whom we are some right here In this room tonight—" “Hurrah, burrah, hurrah for the maseos |” We didn't have to lead these cheers, The rest of the visitors were frantic with delight, and as Boggs responded to every cheer with another superhu- man shout of defiance against wicked- ness they laughed and shrieked with glee. As for us Gnothautilans, we sat more or less quiet, partly from exhaus- tion and partly from a solemn joy which was flooding our entire beings. Boggs had already spoken three-quar ters of an hour and was still warming up. The break must come soon, It did. A few old ladies, subject to headache, got up nervously and tot- tered away. Members of Adelphi pled with them to wait for the rest of the program, but they would not be per- suaded. In another ten minutes a dozen visitors bad tiptoed out. Boggs had reached his final height and was grad- ually running down. Human strength had found its limitations, But he was coming down, slowly and easily cruis- ing from cloud to’cloud, and discussing religion, philosophy and literature in fine but scrambled language. The au- dience was melting rapidly now. The cheering had stopped, but Boggs hadn't, though the pale chairman pulled at bis coat every time he could reach him. Not over half the visitors were left. The moment of triumph had arrived. Quietly and with regret plastered deep over our faces Chub and I got up and oozed cautiously down the aisle. From various parts of the room other Gno- thautilans arose and picked their way delicately to freedom, In their wake the rest of the visitors came—some quietly, some with every evidence of undue anxiety. And as we crowded through the anteroom Boggs thundered on, There were scandalous rumors next day about that open meeting. It was hinted that the Adelphians not only stopped Boggs by violence but that they took him down tn the washroom and ducked him before they left for home. I don’t believe this, because Adelphi always had a reverence for oratory and had been noted for its en- couragement. But Boggs did leave Adel- phi and soon afterward presented his applicauon to Gnothautli. We took him In, but were firm with him and eventually made a fine speaker of him. What pleased us the most with the whole affair was that, mad and dis- gusted as Adelphi was over their ruined meeting, they couldn't blame anyone but themselves, and didn’t attempt to. In fact, they kept so quiet about it that we had to chase an Adelphian a long way during the next two years before we could even mention the subject of open meetings. (Copyright) OINAH KNEW HER BUSINESS Of Course Red Drees at Funeral Was Out of Order, but It Did Its Work. Mrs. Blank had in her employ a aol- ored maid who belonged to a “funeral club,” which binds all its members to attend every funeral of a member upon receipt of notification. One afternoon Dinah's mistress saw her come down the stairs, ready to go out, dressed {no a bright scarlet dress, with a large scarlet willow plume In her hat and a red parasol in her hand. “Why, Dinah, I thought you were going to a funeral,” said Mrs. Blank. “Yes, l'se going to the funeral,” said Dinah. “But you ought not to wear red to a funeral," said Mrs. Blank. “You ought to be dressed quietly in a dark dress!” Dinah poked the toe of her shoe with her parasol, and meditated a moment, and then said “Well, Ah reckon I won't go back and change now; TU just wear this.” Some three weeks after this Dinah approached her mistress and told her that she was going to leave, because she was going to be married. Mrs. Blank expressed her astonishmept that Dinah even had an admirer, Dinah simpered, and twisted the corner of her apron, and said “No, I didn’t have one until just lately! Does you remember that funeral Ah went to one time When I wore my red dress? Well, misus, dat shade of red done kotched de eye ob de corpse’s husband !"— Nautilus. ee Parting Shot. “But couldn't you learn to love me, Stella?” he pleaded. “I don’t think I sould, Prank,” she. replied. espa ih He stood erect, then ‘quickly reached for his hat, “It ts as I feared—you are too old to pestgeeb ee betyy tse: a zine.