The Butler Weekly Times Newspaper, May 3, 1917, Page 2

_ night before.”' Wistessscsssstasersteess Cone oe Some of you yon this story, but it must be true else Sf, I wouldn't be here to tell it. When a boy I went out to earn circus money by selling yeast; as I was returning home I fell into an old well 30 feet deep. Fortunately there was only a little water, also and more fortunately, 1 went in head first and broke no bones. I gave my- self up as lost and either went to sleep or unconscious (I forget which), Anyway, I awoke with a sensation of being gently pro- pelled skyward. I found that I was lying on a white billowy sub- stance like foam and .then the truth dawned on me. Some of the yeast had fallen from my pocket into the water and went to svork at once and was gently abut firmly lifting me out of the deepest hole I was ever in. I ar- Fived home too late for supper but happy. I found that I had been in the well one hour and 65 minutes. | still sell and :recom- mend the same kind of yeast—5e a package—try it. It’s some ‘riser’ and may prove (as it did; with me) a lifesaver. If war comes (and by golly it looks possible) the most effeetive work won’t be done at the front. Not by any means. Some of us must take to the corn field and truck patches. _All must help. And there’s a work for all. To, be brief—I’d rather fight than hoe corn— It’s the man in the corn field, | it’s the man with the hoe—he can't do the fightin’—he’s too busy, you know. He’s raisin’ two nubbins where one used to grow. It’s the man with the hoe, hoe, hoe. 5 A cargo of shark skins are to be used in manufacturing shoes. The ‘despondent’ don’t say whether they are loan sharks’ skins or the other kind of shark. I ‘dunno,’ but I wonder. I fear 1’m not very interestin’ this week. I’m busier than a powder maker in Germany (rais- in’ prices). Maybe I can do bet- ter next time. Here’s hopin’. A ‘fellow rushed into my place a few days ago and said: ‘'The: Germans are upon us. I ‘seen’ a| submarine. Give me some car- bolic acid.’* I saw at a glance | that he was a ‘fisherman’ and said to him: ‘'My friend, you] seem to be sufferin’ from the ef- asked to be. discharged (from matrimony). bit 00 > e) 1 0 peace at any old price. Send me to war, into a trench, just-afy old place, it’s safer.’”’ If war is what Sherman said it was, then I conclude that the H. C. L. is what Sherman said war On the Wing. Aunt Sally Foster’s old driv- ing mare, Fanny, got down in a pond and was dragged out, but she was never able to stand on her feet and died a few days ago. Unele John carried water, oats, corn, hay, and blanketed her to save her life, but failed. The corn, oats, wheat and flax ure looking fine. The corn is just coming up. Some of it has come up good, but some say the miee are taking it. A big all night’s rain fell here Sunday night, which will give the hard worked horses a_ rest. Monday morning it snowed and rained. Charley Heekadon has planted two acres of melons; John Foster is putting out one acre; Frank Oldham 1 aere, and I know where the patches are, too. John Heekadon, of Reavely, is a very sick man with pneumonia. John formerly lived in our midst. Frank Hedger and his father are working in Frank’s timber while the corm is getting big enough to plow. Cyrus Nestlerode split fenee posts for Amsterdam, Route 2. Douglass Browning has moved from Foster to the tenant house of W. W. Parks, where he will work for Mr. Park this year. Mr. Browning is a No. 1 hand and has a good, reasonable man to work for. Mrs. Wm. Lamar has just re- turned from a 10 days visit in the West. They are looking for a new location. I hope they will not find a place they like better than this, for they are jolly good people and we would like to keep such people in our midst. Unele Daniel Moore was plant- ing more corn Friday of. last week on Amsterdam, route 2. Uncle John Hussey says he has has native sale on 140 acres of wheat six inches high fects of the morning after the; “Meaning what,’’| says he; and I just told him that, he had used more bait than he had put on his hoop net and that | what he had ‘mistook’ for a sub-| marine was a large sized hard shell turtle. He thought its head was a periscope and its back was the deck of a U-boat. He grinned like a person who has stuck a nail in his foot and said: ‘‘I guess |, thas ri—right—hie.”’ -Only about 16,000 patriotic cit- | izens want to be officers (to date). Poor old Uncle Sam. Where will you get your fightin’ men? As I said some time ago, goin’ to war is like goin’ to Heaven. Everybody wants to go—yes— but none of ’em seems in a hurry | to start. My advice:is, stop talk- in’ war or elke be gettin’ ready) to go. . Seems that a lot of young patriots are gettin’ married to keep away from war, “Well, by ily, I opine that when the hon-; and a good color. Tansy Smith has not taken out his commission vet. He was elected justice and member of the township board, Uncle John Hedger was elected road boss anid John says he has two township offices and wishes Mr. Smith would get his commission, as’ one office is atl he can give justice to, Geo. MeAlaney has the con- tract for building W. W. Park's big barn 1-2 mile east of Virginia onthe south side of the highway and will commence it soon. George is a first class carpenter and a honest workman. Dug Browning commenced work the first day of May for W. W. Park. ‘ Charley White of near Amoret was over on business Tuesday. R.~J. Dawson has sold his farm to his son, Floyd on Nabs creek. Chas. White, of Amoret, Mo., signs for The Times. ‘Frank Hedger. spent ‘Monday eymioon is on the wane they will wish they hadn’t. Anyway I ktiow of cases where older men will hail war (away from home) with a — hip-hipthurrah: ‘Talk abéut trained men. Married men don’t need. training for war. ‘My mother. raised her boys to do anything that becomes a man ad by the with Jim Norman while it was Douglass Browning spent Mon-|, day a Normay has a 5 fi . Jim No: is a 5 foot wire keep his ¢ women will ‘evening with his .father-in- When asked why was and ‘repeat.’ How about it? A fellow got married recently to avoid goin’ to, war. After ten days of married ‘infelicity’. he ‘presented himself in’ court and - .Use— _ ‘Nobby’ ‘Useo’ Kidney Sufferers Seek. Backache? Kidneys weak? Distressed :with urinary ills? Don’t have to look — fer. what, Butler people recomme Every street in Butler has cases. ienee, A Tire for Every Need of Price and ‘Royal Cord’ EVERY STREET IN BUTLER| "rk jasex’. Has Its Share of the Proof That] Want a reliable kidney remedy # Here’s one Butler man’s expe Quality Pays You —and Us United States Tires are built with one supreme thought behind them—gquality —and quality pays you—and us. 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