The Butler Weekly Times Newspaper, February 20, 1889, Page 6

ibe enc dc cn A A ET RES panies « a — as PWAIN'S EMBARRASSING FIX. then, remembering the name of a steamboat engineer whom he hi d That Me Suit vor Forgetting the known before the war. he added, “Jo aaa 'r bold Friend Billings stole your sheep. = The old fellow looked at him sharp Several years while Mark ly then replied: Twain was collecting retrospective materials for his “Life on the Mis day : issippi,” he stopped « kansas City. He h: known the place as Campbell's Bend. re to pok years | and naturally hada de about unattended by persons who would be likely to break in upon his musings, so, avoiding the committee that had been appointed to receive him, he wandered off into the woods. He thought nothing « he was traversing. ic among the tree tops, and flowers, rich in deep coloring, perfumed the air, Arkansuw Traveler. | After u loug walk he came to a cab- | in, and upon entering found an old } and tangle bearded man sitti the distance | says the springing between the visitor and | the empty fire place. The old fel-| low glanced at Twain, 1 then, | | the door, snatched down « gun, | cocked it and said: | “So, I've got you, have 1?” | “T don’t understand you!” Twain | gasped. “Oh, ne, I reckon not. Er man never understands a thing when he don’t wanter. Didn't stop your | steamboat down yander bel the | bend the other day and six sheep that belonged to moe, did y “T will swear upon the honor of « gentleman that I didnot. Th: been in this neighborhood bet twenty years.” “Set down thar.” The old man continued: have been a good while was here before the ot} Twain obeyed “It mout you | x day, but you got here just in time ter steal | the sheep, an’ I'm goin’ ter have your skelp. Hear me?” “My dear sir, you are laborng | under a frightful mistake. I never owned a sheep in my life—” “No, I don’t reckon you ever did own one, an’ mo’n that, nobody else ain’t apt to own nary one whar you hang out. Yes, sah, here and tuck my sheep, an’ ermong them wuz er pet lamb that iny hitle gran’daughter loves better than she does her life, an’ she ain't slep er wink senso for cryin’ about it. Oh, you needn't blink, fur I'm goin’ ter hold you here till my little gal comes and then I’m goin’ to blow yo’ head come ripht | over hiin. “Air you shore? “Tam sure “Was you on his boatat the tim “Yes and tried to keek h stealing them but « “Will you help ime fi “Yes. “Wall then scoot. Quick Dbefo’ the gal comes.” When Twain reached Arkansas City he found the perplexed and dis appointed com yous and depressed. | standing in the office of the hotel some one said: “Mr. Clemens, you i to knov Jo Bi Twain felt an uneasyn “Yes. “There he is.” | he re Twain looked around ie old fellow who had held Lis cabin snort { then said: I or ¥ i t knowin’ me, but Lreckon Dve chang- ed some. Tnever had Sheep, wy revenuc the 5 more dit un ever reformers to accept thi stitute. Adopting the round # | , r 1 } tion of uel of} which 50 millions are taken from | : | tue custom duties.[ mai x | y taxes on] the necessaries of than 15 from million the internal cted which are col! off whiskey Per cc the Senate 48 aggregate, ¢ will reduce the sur} revenues lion dollars in the | million are taken from whiskey and | tobacco taxes, while the custom taxes | (levied on the necessaries of life) are | redueed less than 14 milloir dollars | and much of the reduction falls on off. It won't be long fo’ she comes, af you've got any pra'rs that you reckon oughter be said, why, you better say ‘em, that’s aif” **My dear sir—” “Don’t ‘dear sir’ me. I've got you, an’ I'm goin’ ter use you.” “But how do you know that I stole your sheep?” “You know how I know it. You sugar which yield more revenue tax | than any other item on the tariff list. | The law is nearly 47 per cent, and the | Senate bill merely reduces it to 46 per cent while the House bill makes it a little more than 42 per cent. If the only relief the country is to re- ceive in taxation is the mediocum furnished by the Senate bill which average duty under the present | daily. j ties DAKOTA POLITICAL VENG True as Gospel. LANCE. uaralordies: “And Satan came also.” as he ee suall -s when there is a pros A Bill to Knock the Governor's Name 2°08" Loe hen there ee —_ sets pect the accomplishment of | the Name. . i good. . Feb. 13.—Proba- | a stir at the t : 1 better the used show | unpleas The been in the that row going on between the ture in the warfare st than the | a bill cha s not more th county to MeCor- ! the devil Secretary McCo: » overt act y. Church’s most bi e jaw, b ' the present Governor y the of the territory. Anc bendi ‘ y x for the cess as has been proposed to possible to ¢ the ute for yenre. The bitter feeli whole matter grows inore e do th 12 Wilhian’s i t ‘ou are Y } . { t i rt | i iv v th it eet 1 ire . ‘ | el s of cther men’s = Pyat j ke use | A 4 le i quarantine against j se | ee i Lack parasites. Neva hor ‘ { t Di. ¢ mat we hic ' if ‘ i be nd profit-sh e rei syphilitic rheumarisi is sane ere u tk r you, but if you think } es ed the € ay ye cOndsiiony Eancias went {if is better that you remain awzy. away. Oa ihe mori he Wath | We can be bette: : yousare we were both arrested i taken be fore Aleade. i I aske: why I there were chi against ue for poisoning a man. I MORES SR tle of medi wa bot- te's desk, Bann’ panions. The death J 7 of some of and they said the medicine was poi-| | b be tae : - = tl wth iri ‘tov 5 son, and asked me what IT knew | °° °° oe — a oe ee about it. Itold them what was in | ¢S™ple whieh should inspire tay. r the medicine and drank alittle of it. | every Wide awake business man. After they had taken my evidence they put Dr. Purdy end myself ina room together, where we were lock- ed up. Many that were once good towns have reached the slippered age; am- bition gone, and the sick life is almost out. y flame of Their trouble is The docter's evidence was His visit did not create much of | FM. CRUMLY: &(0, | know that jest ez soon ez you seed | js misdirected in the interests of the me er comix’ you shoved off, an’, | monopolists, the tariff reformers in mo’n that, you know that when I| the House will probably conclude to jumped in a canoe an’ started ter | leave the responsibility for the blun- paddle out ter you, w’y, you shot at | der to the incoming republican ad- the same as my own, and he drank a portion of the medicine aleo. That satisfied the Aleade that there was no poison in the medicine, but they The next day parasites. have seen Their enterprising men the uselessness of the struggle and grown despondent.— Nevada Mail. me. You know all that well enough.” “Merciful heavens!” Twain dlaimed. “Yas, sah, yas; that’s erbout what T'lowed, but the boat pufted on ex- Astick snapped outside. “Great heavens!” Twain thought, “is the girl coming?” No, it was only a qalf. The expression on the old fellow's face grew harder. There ‘was a cruel twitching about the cor- ners of his mouth. “ Oh, don’t you fret, she'll behere d'rectly.” “My friend, said Twain, with an effort to be calm, “if you will go with me over to Arkansas City I will prove to you that I would not steal a sheep.” “I don’t want no proof that comes from that place. You'd tell a lie and them fellers over there would swa'r ter it. Ez I said jest now, if you've got any pra’rs you want said, why, I reckon you better say “em.” “Would you commit murder?” “Would you steal sheep?” “Surely not.” “Ah, ha, and shorely I wouldn't ministration and eongress.—Kansas City Star. Bucklen’s Arnica Salve, The Best Salve inthe world for Cuts, } Bruises,Sores, Ulcers,Salt Rheum Fever Sores, Tetter,Chapped Hands, Chiblains | Corns, and all Skin Eruptions, and posi- tively cures Piles, or no pay req is guaranteed to give pertect s or money refunded. Price 25 ¢ For sale by Walls & Holt, The Power of Ink. “A small drop of ink, falling, like dew, upon a thought, proclaims that | which makes thousands, perhaps | miillioas, think.” wrote Byron. The inspiration of his pen might give the dusky fluid such a far reaching power, and we wish we were pos- sessed of such an inspiration, that we might, through a like medium, | bring into such extended notice the | matchless virtues of Dr. Pierce's Pleasant Purgative Pellets. those tiny, sugarcoated granules which | contain, in a concentrated form, the! active principles of vegetable extract | | that Dame Nature designed especial- | ly to promote a healthy action of the | liver, stomach and bowels. | be commitin’ murder by killin’ sich a er fellew ez you air. Don't move now fer if you do I'll drap you, come | McKinsery has located hundreds of | quick, before the gal comes, tell me ef you know who did steal them sheep that is ef you didn’t.” “I think I do,” Twain rejoined, and Jasper county is said to have a re-| ;markable person in J. A. McKinsery, | | who is known asa mineral diviner. jlead and zinc claims at Joplin and | Webb City and ding to the \ Carthage Democrat has never yet :made a mistake in his work. accor did not let us go. Don't You Know they dug up the dead man and took | that you cannot afford to neglect his stomach, liver and kidneys to the | that catarrh? Don't you know that government chemist, together with |} it may lead to consumption. to in- the medicine. He found no poison. | sanity. to death? Don't vou know All he found in the medicine was «| that it can be easily ed? Don't little ioda potassia, which the doc-{| you know that the thousand and tor swore he put up for the men. | one nostrums you have tried have Then they said they did not know | utterly failed that Dr. Sage’s Catarrh how much iodia potassia it took to] Remedy is a ce Tt has cured? cure? | killa man, andI sent to my office | stood the test of years, and there are and got Van Buren as an authority | hundreds of thousands of grateful and showed him where a man had | men and women in all parts of the taken 990 grains in 24 hours ahd no | country who can testify to its eftica- death occurred. whereas the patient | cy. All druggists. was taking only about 24 grains. ae aS We were kept in prison about four| Charles Hentges can have weeks.” the rib- ber for being the most depraved The letter goes on to say that Dr. | Young scamp in St. Joseph. His Purdy came down with yellow fever mother locked him out of a little in prison. He suffered there for | grocery she runs at 2124 South Sixth five days, when he was taken to the | Street. aud he ran into the back part hospital, where he died. Utter says of the store building where they re- he has as yet had no trial side, and getting an old pistol fired Ere ENS through the door several times at A farmer of Vernon county an-| his mother. The’police went to ar- nounces that last year he netted $720 | rest him, but he escaped. per acre from an orchard of cherry | ; trees. The trees were planted six | Russell Harrison abr Cute a 0e1a years ago and have just fairly gotten | Journalist. At least he has pur- down to work. Such proof of the | chased a newspaper. climate and of Missouri is a whole immigration society in itself. soil in Tortures, Eczema, Itchy, Se Itch, Marge kind on human or a minutes by Woolfore This never tail i down, Butler, Mo. in 30} pj ary Lotion. | Fy, wo } J: DON KINNEY. p red solely forthe DIRECTORS , Je prepares orale amMict all a rencibe one and strengt’ Dr, T. C. Boulware, Booker Powell, uterine ergans, J.M. Tucker, Green W. Wal on, tel ies sprinter —— judge j- H Sullens, John Deerwester, FEMALE TONIC suring preg, G. B. Hickman’ Frank Vorts, ~ With You Once More IF TC \ With a Clean Fresh Stock of j DRUGS. /- Stationery, Paints, Oils, &e. {” ‘ Come and see us as we can do you good le mad would be elad to see you. ‘ Pirst do ist door south of rates County nat’l bank, % on rn en McFPARLAND BROS. 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