The Bismarck Tribune Newspaper, June 25, 1931, Page 11

THK BISMAKUK EKIBUNK, 1HURSDAY, JUNE 25, 1931 “They're a dumb lot in Hollywood. When I was there they said they wanted brunets—and when I show up the next day with black hair, they say the demand is for blondes.” BAD NEWS FOR HIM ! “IT simply cannot stand the sound; of an automobile horn.” “Why not?” “Some months ago my chauffeur stole my car and eloped with my wife, and every time I hear a horn toot I think he is bringing her back.—Path- finder. TOO BUSY Astronomer: The light of the star I am going to show you takes four hours to reach the earth. Visitor: Very interesting—but I’m afraid I can’t wait so long.—Bueh Humor, Madrid. FORCE OF HABIT | O'Brien — An’ how be Lawyer| Barnes doin’? Doctor—Poor chap, he’s lying at death's door. O’Brien—There’s grit for ye now— at death’s dure an’ still lyin’.” BRIGHT BOY Teacher: What happened in 1483? Pcgil: Luther was born. Teagher: Quite right. happened in 1487? Pupile (after a long pause): Luth- er was four years old.'—Tit-Bits. LUCKY FOR DAD Daughter—Aren't you going to wait up for Dad? Mother—No, it’s no use. I am so hoarse from this cold I can hardly speak. And what At times we suspect this generation just seems more naughty because it leaves the shades up. JUST BY FEEL “But how did you find your wife at the dance last night after the lights went out?” “Oh, I picked her out by the Braille system.” NOW YOU TELL ONE | TAKEN AT HIS WORD bm Judge (sternly): The next person | who interrupts the court proceedings | Will be sent home. Prisoner: Hooray!—Tit-Bits. WARNED BEFOREHAND Landlady (to new arrival): Peopte jusually admit I've made them com- fortable here. I've always had a gift |for doing that. McTavish: Is that a fact? Well, ye needna expect one from me.—The Humorist. | Near beer has limitations, put a Iquart of it doesn’t make a stranget | buttonhole you and spray in your ear. 4 Things must be in a bad fix when people prefer being ruled by politi- cians rather than the church. SIMILE As short as a strip poker game be- tween Gandhi and a chorus girl. But why do they waste time goirg to an international conference when they can disagree just as well at home? : Daily Cross-word Puzzle | 7 ACROSS Solution of Yesterday’s Puzzle _?. Plural ending 1 Equine ani- 10, Do something mal in requital 4 Likely 11, Snares 1. Open 13, Mother of 12, Profuse talk ure oe 14. Money boarder . Assert 16, Entertain Genes of the ro} atte mile 18, Parent bac aie 119. Grow old . Smoking dee 20. Genus of the se. ‘maple tree . County in |2L. Knock '22, Metric land Hi, Fengracict i" “measures ‘Take dinner Pergo Pronoun % in 24. Is profitable |. Hair ointment 25. 3.1416 ; Body of burns 126 Booms ing gas oF EE Spring church 42. Devourea DOWN 37. Citizen of | . Citizen o ee erential 43, Exist 1. South Amert- ‘ancient ems {20 Leave 44, Opera by can river pire {33 Unit of weight ‘Horatio 2. Biblical coun- 38, Fasten 34. Cone-bear- Parker try 39. Drinking mug |, ing tree 45. Open courts 3. Lines of type 41. Be defeated (35. Whatt 47. Female horses tn one piece 42. Dexterity 38. Gratis 49. Tooth doctor Hall 44 Convened 8. Small horse 51. Growing out 6. Hebrew letter 43. Conjunction ft 52, Finish 6. Vestiges Pen nisl 653. French mar- shal 46. 7. Persian poet 48. & 50. Sun god ‘nergy . Type measure Look Out, Oscar! WITH UNCLE BIM TODAY = IF TOM CAN PERSUADE BIM Jo RENEW THE NOTES = ALL WiLL BE WELL = \F TOM FAILS = RUIN AND DESTRUCTION WILL BE HIS— AND HIS LIFE'S ‘WORK A FAILURE: —o-—— CHEER UP- TOM= DONT BACK OUT NoW= WALK RIGHT IN AND GRAB THE BULL BY THE HORNS = g@~WE HAD A GOOD SCRAP THE @ OTHER DAN, DION'T WE SKEEZIX? WELL* THERE'S NO USE IN STANDING - SHIVERING AT THE BRINK= IF YOu MAVE To CROSS A STREAM = 8 GET IT OVER WITH me YY LLY YY YY — YA, BUT YOU WENT Wi ij Udi Y AN’ TOLD YOUR MOTHER AN’ SHE CAME AN! TOLD MY UNCLE WALT AN' HE TOLD ME PLENTY. THE GUMPS—SWEET REVENGE AR. GUMP= Bl cunts IS A BITTER SEACH: Rk} SWALLOW T AN K TNIS = i UNDER ATANO THAT You HAVE PURCHASED ALL OP THE NOTES AND. ACCOUNTS OUTSTANDING AGAINST MY COMPANIES = AND THAT YOU DEMAND PAYMENT = TANNOY. PAY THE LOANS NOW BECAUSE OP THE, 1 h GIGANTIC CONSOLIDATION AND EXPANSION PROGRAM ji/// ‘ NOWEVER, ‘an KNOW VERY 2 hbk apie RIGHT FROM ARE AMPLY SECURED BY ALL OF TOM | fe PROPERTIES AND ARE FNeREFORE A GOOD INVESTMENTS Sf ||! SHOULDER ANREAWONABLE SRTENSIONOR TIME _COUSLU j Py si | sae wat Bin NABLE E - Ny } 5 ae) f SINCE THE ORDERS NOW GOING OUT/” } ALWAYS ‘TALKS: WILL SOON BRING IN THE NEEDED CASH To PAY. enone? THEM OFF IN FULL > HE ‘TOLD You J You WOULD SUFFER FOR THAT INSULT = pang HE 1S LIVING OP ‘TO HIS PROMISE = FROM YOU | HAVE RECEIVED THE WORST INSULT » HAVE EVER HAD TD TAKE! FROM ANY ONE= You CALLED ME - AN OLD MAN= : COME BETWEEN ME AND re tone WHomn ' Love DEARER THAN THING IN THE WORLD = apt WILL WRECK YOUR FACTORY= AS YOU HAVE WRECKED f MY LIFES HERE GOES! GASOLINE ALLEY—FROM ONE KHO KNOWS WELL WHAT OID | TELL YA! GIRLS AGAIN, IT'S THE WOMEN THAT ALWANS GET YOU TANGLED UP. TAKE MN ADVICE AN’ LAN OFF ‘EM. Yf \ oon't YZ WY USTEN SPUD, OH TELL MN Yij{ SISSY DION'T TELL ON sure NEAH? MOTHER. ME LUKE | SAID HE ] SHE BUT | WAS Gi, OID. HE'S OKAY. IT Dio. ALL MUSSED ZA WAS SALLY THAT 7% UP AN’ SALLN i TOLD HER NOU 010 11. DID SHE Rs Gee! THATS Too BAD WE CAN'T Go WITH You, FRECKLES, FRECKLES 8T Moms TAKIN’ ME TO AND HIS FRIENDS CALIFORNIA AN ALEK HERE, By Blosser UUM-UM! WHATEVER? OSCAR TOLD You THAT? \WHY, SAY, HE AIN'T GOING AWAY AT ALL... HE JUST MANUFACTURED Snucns! I JUST OUGHTA NOT AS HIM AGAIN... YEAN...L COULDN'T LET HIM THIN L WZ THE ONLY KID IN TOWN THAT NWASNT GOING AWAY FOR A NIACATION, YEAU...AN' EVEN OSCAR. IS GOING AWAY... SAID {f HE WAS GOING To THE ( OCEAN TILL SCHOOL \ STARTED AGAIN«»- THEN HE ISN'T REALLY GOING AWAY JUST JEALOUS BECAUSE US KIDS ARE GOIN’ ANAY AN HE AIN'T: IT'S LEG OF LAMB.) § THAT'S OUR BAD On , CHICK! COME HERE A_ SECOND, SWEET HEART DONT BE SILLY! YOU TAKE THOSE CHOPS. WE'LL GIVE BUT WE CAN'T USE THEM! o WE WON'T BE HOME SQUARE US FOR THE COLD CHICKEN SHE BROUGHT] OVER LBST WEEK ms THAT 1 YOU'RE ue ME Cut OFF Df LUCK! NERE MOM’ COOKING , MOM, SURE SOME CHOPS FOR It Lever MIND! POP SMELLS GOOD YOUR DINNER : Gladys Has (i Ideas! By Cowan § (8 HEY, CoP, COME IN HERE AND HERE, Tour HONOR, SMAN ARREST THis GUY! He TRIED 76 ,|| (S THE BOGUS CHECK mney PASS A FORGED CHECK ON Me! || HE TRIED TO HAVE Case Dis- auenpH! THATS EINE! OW WELL PROCEED WwiTH THIS FORGER: Bi2NeEss/ WHAT (Ss YOUR NAME, PRISONERS) DAW! Dow! cz. ASOTEDOFFSKI - 1 DON'T BLAME HIM FoR NOT WANTING- TO SIGN Ss OWN MAM | ‘\ [SERVICE INC. REO. U. 8. PAT. OFF. UNA ALArAenre TM HAUGEN FOR AGES ,1NE DREAMED OF THE IME WHEN VO SEE YOU AGAIN —-AND ALL / TRE WINGS YD SAX To You BUT, NOW THAT WERE REALY YOGETHER AGAIN -~-. GOO