The Bismarck Tribune Newspaper, June 16, 1931, Page 10

ee eres ee THE BISMARCK TRIBUNE, TUESDAY, JUNE 16, 1931 “I thought you wanted to be a great actress, when you grow up.” No, I've decided to become a great stenographer, like auntie.” | NOW YOU TELL ONE FUEL FOR THE FIRE WORE IT WELL “Dear Mr. Editor.” wrote a would-| % be contributor. “Will you please read ; the enclosed poem carefully and re- turn it to me with your candid critic- | ism as soon as possible, as I have | other irons in the fire.” “My dear Sir,” was the reply. “Re- move the irons and insert the poem.” —The Humorist. — | “Mrs. Jones is always complaining JUST COULDN'T WAIT that she has so little to wear.” “Uncle Peter, is a bottle of whisky, Well, I saw he at a ball last night just as good after it’s been in a cup- and she seemed to be wearing it.”—| board for a year? Pathfinder. “I don’t know. It's an experiment | a I've never been able to complete.”—/| AN EVEN DEAL H Passing Show. “It must cost a lot to keep your car ; = |so nice and clean.” THE HAVEN “Yes, and the car returns the com- First Club Man: After all. if tt) pliment by keeping me clean."—Bos-| wasn't for our wives, would either of | ton Transcript. i us be where we are now? | i Second Club Man: Quite right.! Migtoast—Hutsinpiller is so slow Isn't that what clubs are for?—The/ about Mking up his mind Humorist. Butterscotch—Force of habit. His wife stutters, you know! Of course sunshine gives vigor. Listen to the bleachers. A science note says if you are an; javerage person you inhale about a “There's always a cool draft near teaspoonful of dirt a day. And hear| the floor.” And we thought it was about a wagonful! i an overdraft that made the feet feel | that way. ‘The Literary Digest asks, “Why is the White Man White?” That's easy | France is sending this country more !—because he doesn’t use rouge.—The and more tanned hides. In the old | Pathfinder. days she merely sent us novels and| Parents did the rest. One way to stop drinking among |dry agents is to organize some extra- | Another way to meet the best peo-| dry agents. ple is to know a policeman and walk! down street with his hand or your| Speaking of time-savers, the old-| arm. \timer said: “I do not doubt your BAe STEPPED ON A NORNET'S NEST= BEWARE ! YOU _INSULTED BIM GUMP, THE AND NE THINKS NE 18 GOING ‘JO WALK RIGNT IN — AND STEAL THE WOMAN FROM ME~ THAT ! LOVE DEARER THAN ANYTHING ON BARTH= AND ME WITH My BYES OPEN WRLL~ WE'LL SEE = LL CALL IN CUMSTOCK= MY FINANCIAL AdVISER— CALL AN OLD oo IND SOME WAS eo Orr EVEN WITH HIM= (i wT ROSERARIA THE GOLD } IN AUB = Ne WILL SUFFER FOR THAT n FRECKLES AND HIS FRIENDS Creating Quite a Stir! BILLIONAIRE, YESTERDAY ~ AS HE WAS NEVER ISULTED IN HIS LIFES) VES, THE SUMMER COTTAGE STUFF 1S ALL OFF, MR. WICKER. AND WHAT DO YOU 7HINK PHNLLIS WANTS TO DO INSTEAD? TAKE A TRIP ABROAD! SHE'S GOT IT ALL FIGURED OUT INSULT TO ME = GASOLINE ALLEY— I AM ASKING YOU ' TOLO HER (T IS ABSOLUTELY OUT OF THE QUESTION NOW. SHE SAID, YOU'RE NOT DOING SO MUCH NOW. THIS IS THE VERY TIM&. YES, | SAIO, BUT WHEN WE ARE NOT DOING SO MUCH IS THE TME FOR ME TO BE ON THE JOB WORKING ‘ a= ej MAKE BUSINESS. IVE GOT 5 TO KEEP BEHIND THE: SALESMEN EVERY MINUTE, | TOLD HER. WHN ¢ Ui = You HAVE BEEN IN MY sieve a LONG ‘TIME - | HAVE A VERY CONFIDENTIAL MISSION PLANNED FoR. ¥ You = ) WANT You To FIND ST yee THIS es INANCIAL cae TONDO MORRON MORNING REPORT ro MES 1 WANT Yo Z bali da UPSTART 5, 31m 13 serous ‘To CALL ON THE WIDOW YESTERD AND PLAY “INE ROLE OF ; CAVE MAN = HE MET ‘TOM CARR AT HER DOOR STEP-| ee BIM IN A JEALOUS RAGE OFFERED ‘To WHIP ‘TOM= WHEN re WAR 100 MUCH TEOR BIMBO = piatelMacitherta HE PROMISED TOM NE Veale Pay DEARLY Fo Ee 16] THAT INSULT = * AND BIMBO | "BANS IT = COULD |, MR. WICKER COULON'T POSSIBLY GET AWAN , RIGHT, NOW. | / IST IMAGINE, HIRAM: ---A FELLER HAVIN’ T/HEV A HULL CAR VIST FOR HIMSELF +-- BETCHA IT'S SOME HIGH RAILROAD MONKEY MONK, it By Blosser > HOW BEAUTIFUL SHE WAS! HER LOUID, VIOLET, EYES FULL OF WONDEQMENT. WER AQUILINE NOSE AND DEEP RED LIPS.OH TO POSSESS WER! TO Know SURE (KNOW WHERE FRECKLES MCGOOS! ND, AS THE . ; PRIVATE CAR. PULLS, INTO SHADYSIDE, PRES(DENT KINGSTON STEPS OFF, 1) TF THAT (ST THE PRESIDENT OF THE RAILROAD, 1 MISS MY GUESS------ WONDER WHAT HE WANTS + OF FRECKLES, I es Sa CL Watts 1F rT isn't TOO FAR, WHEN HE DECIDED OW! t NEMER THOUGHT (7 T MUSTN'T THINK OF SUCH THINGS) { WHERE HANE YOU BEEN OF THAT BEFORE! 1 WONDER! WF CHICK ENER FEELS “THAT ai wcnick VV, eT WISH CHICK WOULD COMENE'S |] GUNN >. WHAT MAKES YOU SO ANTE, NOW! MAYBE HE MET ONE {]LMTE? DID You MEET au WOMAN OF WIS OLD FLAMES .1 DON'T LMERN, ANYONE ON THE WAY KNOW WHAT ELSE COULD BE |veracity. sir, but I question the au- Architects who are trying to de- thenticity of your source of informa- velop automatic ventilation might ob-|tion.". The modern says: “Oh, AGAIN THE THOILL OF HER CARESSES . DARING THOUGHTS RACED THROUGH HIS REELING BRAIN / why ABOUT ME ff... } serve the gangster with an automatic | yeah?” Daily Cross-word Puzzle | ACROSS: Solution of Yesterday’s Puzzle L Kind of elec- & Circultous river in The Power of Suggestion! trie ight & Water vapor 9. Become rigid 32 Vehicle 3. Angry 14. Born 15. Sound which follows a flash of lightning 12. What the sky seems dur- ing a thun- der storm 29. Draft animal 20. Brear sud- lenly 21. Article ot haractertatio =| 22. Passageway | 23. nae for pry- | ng | 24. Part of a bare ‘ness 25. Kind of lighte ning 22. Marks i 80. fe At tp cate ally doing furniture =Te ery 28, Devices for I OMMAlvie eae climbing acrosming 31. Browned ‘helifish mpty. talk: 26. Small stream 27. River em- . Brings forth young mother “ 30. What the . Quantity of 51. immerse street be- matter DOWN comes dur- 40. Jewish ing @ down- teacher . Display a flash during a 7 thunder 33. Put a new storm bottom in a 50, Web-footed * collog. birds 36. Resist author 7 37. East indian cereal grass 1. Division of a 39. Unmarried play Romane 2. Col le S Fane eceee? 40. Debases unish | 7 2 small pleces 41, Brazilian . Exist 4 Move sides” macaw ways 2. Untrutl Sos ecoee 5. Large plant 4%. Silkworm 6 Organ ot fe Welteee? on 7 7. Whiriwin hearing the Faroe 1 Islands by 15 across 4%. Notable period 49. Companion ar TT rr Ee a a AS OLD MEMORIES CROWDED UPON ONE ANOTHER , SETTING HIS HEART, POUNDING ...AND “THEN. THE. TRUTH CAME, LIKE A RUSHING, WIND .HE LOVED HER AND HED ALONE !!- HE HAD MARRIED THE WRONG GIRL! (OH, MR. HoWoy come HERE QuIcK! | SALESMAN! SAM A Novelty for Sam!: BOOTS AND HER BUDDIES ‘Some THING- TERRIBLE HAS HAPPENED TO (ty HUSBAND! SELF Be) ON EARTA ARE YA DOW’ HERE ? CEave (T 7% ME, MRS., Hotter! HIT & HOMER AND (T UNCED OFF His HEADS rer) X REND IN WE PAPERS — TWAT YOO WERE HERE} Se nS | P COND (TS THe FIRST TIME ( EVER SAW ‘ANYONE OUT on 4 HOME RUN |