The Bismarck Tribune Newspaper, May 30, 1931, Page 12

THE BISMARCK TRIBUNE, SATURDAY, MAY 30, 1931 “This one wa: 30 8. PAT. OFF. SERVICE, INC bit stubborn at first, but I finally overcame that.” | NOW YOU TELL ONE SUSPICION | Friend: How does your ‘isband ever gets his meals if you're never home to cook them? | Butterfly Wife: That's funny. | ‘The same thought came into by head! the other day.—Smith’s Weekly, Syd- ney. \ FIGURES NEVER LIE i Son (making out accounts for fath- er): How much shall I charge Smith for that little job—ten hours’ work? Carpenter: That would be $9, but make it a round figure and put $10— wait a minute —put $11 so that it doesn’t look as if I have been making round figures—Der Wahre Jakob, Berlin. FOR THE PRESENT “Darling.” he cooed, “I'll never, never forget you.” “T1l tell you something that will) tmake you forget me,” she said. | “What ts it, darling?” H “Tomorrow is my birthday.”—An- ers, NO MUSIC LOVER "You don’t seem to be a lover of ‘music although you have four musi- real daughters.” “If you had four musical daugh- ters, you wouldn’t be a lover of mu- ic.”"—Fliegende Blaetter, Munich. ALL BY MYSELF “T got a bright idea out of the cor- ner of my brain today.” | “Ah! A stowaway.”— Pele Mele, | Paris. THE INSPECTOR “What does your father do at work?” “Makes mirrors.” “And your mother?” “She looks into them.” — Passing | Show, Wife: Here's optician. Husband: bill from Tell him I can't see my way yet to pay it.—The Humorist. HIS ONLY CHANCE “And what would I have to g've you for one little kiss?” “Chloroform.” And about all that is necessary for! a divorce in this day and age is a husb->d.—Judge. ummel, Hamburg. THE LESSER EVIL Husband: I can't terminating the fruit fly. Now the officials ought to see what they can Go about hitch hikers.—Judge. Wife: leftovers. Husband: now.—Passing Show. eat this siuft. Never mind, dear, I have Florida has at last succeeded in ex-|some lovely recipes for making up| In that case I'll eat it Daily Cross-word Puzzle Solution of Yesterday's Puzzle Unaccompa- nied Laughed to scorn . One who 5. As im ; Pieced out Plural of torus . Ancient wine vessel . Confined to a select circle . Egyptian sun ‘disk . Period of light Former ruler of Algiers Interprets: archaie DOWN . Incrustation over a wound TA. 15. Cooks slowly Continent” . Roofs of mouths Soft drink Always . Old word for learn Scent . Medieval Ital- fan political faction . Scandinavian discoverer . Hold back idolize Fundamental idea Town in Ohio 2. Machine. for round glisten- . Sons of the same pare ents: abbr. 0. Minister's title . Bring line Part of a wooden joint Into spreading hay Asiatic na- tives Dogma 5. After song of an ode Ceremony . Fruit drinks: collog. 66. Political par- ty: abbr. ” . Liquor the ANDY GUMP COME HERE } WOULDN'T BE SO CHEAP IF 1 WERE YOU — You MADE %250,000.29 ON TOM CARR STOCK AND | WANT MY SHARE = AT LEAST - GIVE ME A LITTLE ? DON'T PLAY ON THE PIANO, CORKY. ‘T BOTHERS ME WHILE I'M WRITING. TELEGRAPH THE TRAIN " DISPATCHER IN ELKHART | GREAT CAESAR. FRECKLES; AND HIS FRIENDS UP HERE To GEARCH THE TRAIN FoR A CRIMINAL WHO HAS ME HEcToR RUBY | | i To PRUNE ALONG) WELL,ONE THING THIS STORY, 1 DON'T / EXPERIENCE TAUGHT ME CRINE ANOTHER \S, THAT PICKING UP TWO DAYS WITH) A NEIGHBOR'S NEWSPAPER You tN THAT ] WILL START MORE TROUBLE DAMP OLD JUG/ THAN GINING ONE BIRTHDAY ce PRESENT To ASET OF The After- math! LITTLE 1S RIGHT= AND (T'S A VERY SMALL CHANCE SHE NAS OF EVER GETTING ANY OF THAT DOUGH= WHEN HE WAS IT — HE HOLDS ON YO [T= ME NEVER SEPARATES FROM IT— HE NUGS$ IT LIKE A SHIP HUGS THE SHORE= MN HERE FoR? HE DIDNT GET ANY SIGNAL © EES, nd TWING THAT BURNED ME UP WAS ANHEN THEY'D SOFT SOAP ME THAT THEY KNEIN ‘YOU WERE INNOCENT - BUT NOT ONE OF i THEM «WORRIED ABOUT HANING J THEIR MILK STOLEN , WHILE Yous) WERE IN JAIL - AND SUCH NEIGHBORS! THE \ Yes Mam! NOW /s THERE ANY THING- ELSE TODAY YOU CAN THINK OFF [=avz SALESMA SAM | inside Stuff By Sma. AND. HER BUDDIES Big-Hearted Willie! No, 1,GUESS NOT THATS THE END OF MY SHOPPING f YA TELLIN’ PoP ala i This BIRD A HET, 0M, AIN'TEHA GONNA / GET THAT VEW HAT 1 HEARO f NOT, DEAR! “THERE COMES WHAT A CHANCE OF HIM GIVING ANYTHING AWAY = THE ONLY TIME NE EVER” GAVE ANYTHING AWAY WAS. WHEN HE SENT A PAR OF NOMING PIGEONS To NIS FATHER-IN-LAW FOR CHRISTMAS $.Pat Of : Coprrtgt ‘by The Chicago Tribune. CORKY, | THINK fD RATHER HAVE NOU PLAY THE READERS’ NoTE:} prove vetaas “HE MAN !! THERE i YouLL HANE To # THIS WHOLE AFFAIR | YOU WAIT TILL HAS “BLOTZ WORRIED~| 3 SEE OLD BLOTz, HE'S COMING IN AND | HE'LL GET ASLICE OUT BY THE OF MY MIND: REAR FIRE ESCAPE / Look AT THE WRINKLES I GOT FROM WORRYING WHEN WE HAD YOU | PARDON US FOR LEAVING YoU IN SUSPENSE THis WAY, BUT WE JusT NOW REALIZED THAT THis 15 3 DEGORATION DAY AND, IN ORDER THAT ALL Those AWRY ON WEEK END TRIPS MAY NOT.MISS THE STARTLING NEWS, WE BEG OF You To WAIT UNTIL MONDAY. ANY How .1T was & \ NOT FOR MEL ALL THE GREAT EXPERIENCE ! | TIME YOU WERE IN IT'S LITTLE THINGS / TROUBLE. MY STOMACH UKE THs THAT / FELT LIVE T NAS WEAR JAZZ UP ING’ A RUBBER REDUCI THE OLD LIFE GIRDLE eaUee wes io \ SEVEN sit MALL, BUMPED NOT YA IN TH’ ROTEL, CHALLENGED ME. HE GOT SORE ‘Cause 1 POPPED ‘im! NAMES COUNT | DACQUES 1A THEE I! SANene wow XTHNK WD LOOK HAVE ‘Ya TRIED THROWIN’ ERSELE ON "TH' FLOOR AND KICKIN’ WITH YER FEET. AND ‘YELLIN’ LIKE 1 DO? [on v