The Bismarck Tribune Newspaper, May 14, 1931, Page 16

T guess I'll take a sirloin today—William's getting fussy again, since he’s gone back to work.” WAITING Colonel Woodcock, the new prohibi- ‘tion enforcement officer, met gressman Tinkham the other day for the first time at a hearing berore the “Is this Congressman Tinkha.n. the great hunter?” “Righto!” admited Tinkham, sizing up his antagonist. “Well, I declare,” colonel. “I didn't think you would bother with trying to get a little Woodcock.” “I kill my game in its season,” re- torted the Boston congressman sour- ly.—Chicago News. the unfit more than they can earn in competition is a revolution. You'll notice that the people who know just how to solve the sex prob- lems of youth are old boys whu have forgotten how a kiss tastes. to another fellow to have ‘t dressed. *\THE CRABBY JUDGE Culprik_(pleasantly) — It’s ¢ day, your Npnor. Judge—Yu'va rig! of yours will $1 fine nd the amount ‘he Pathfinder. | Laughing at Europe's unheated houses, wondering why peopie over there have so little pneumonia.— Americanism. | Spanish blood always has had the teputation of being hot, so we suppose it just naturally boiled over.—The| Pathfinder. | The chief difference in the middle; and upper classes seems to be in the Jength of their week-ends. Hamaguchi is out as prime rinister of Japan and Wakatsuki is in, but! Con-} subcommittee on appropriations. | “My my!” exclaimed the colonel. | remarked the} OW YOU TELL ‘Trembling with fear because distant |Communists take what they want; |feeling an amused indifference when gangsters take what they want.— | Americanism. Supper didn’t become dinner until |people began eating at restaurants. And it isn’t the whole dinner. It's just what's left. Correct this sentence: “You are not in college to work your head off,” wrote the father, “and I want you to quit worrying about your graces.” If the kid seems a natural - born priss, don’t worry. Think what a ‘The only means yet devised to give |Tadio announcer he'll make. The modern never needs to crawl {under his car unless he’s buying gas when his grocer goes by. Many a rookie bell player now be- ing called a second Ty Cobb cz Babe Ruth will be called lots of other A general practitioner is one who|things before September gets here— an lance a boil without sending you|The Pathfinder. CRITICISM And practically any sound can now be imitated on the radio. Some day we even hope to hear music.—Judge. Well, Russia eventually will make all men equal if she keeps on shoot- ing those who rise a little above the | average. PROBABLY SHE'S PATIENT Bloofus—How do you get along with your wife? Obfuscus—I wonder sometimes my- self. The queer thing about these early presidential booms is that they pre- cede instead of follow the explosion. The women drys in the Derocratic ranks are looking red-eyed ut Mr. Raskob. They think that toast should that dosn't help the linotypers any.— The Pathfinder. be something you burn and scrape in- stead of stir and drink. | Daily Cross-word Puzzle APPY HENRIETTA = WHEN ‘TOM CARR OLD NER THAT IN TEN DAYS HER STOCK ‘WOULD BE WORTH TWENTY FIVE TIMES JYS PRESENT VALUE IT CONVINCED HER THE SUN WAS STILL SMINING, BEHIND THE CLOUDS — HOW HANDSOME NE LOOKED = AND WHEN HE ‘TOLO HER To DOUBLE i HER INVESTMENT= ff SHE RESOLVED~ NO MATTER, HOW GALLING = To GO TO SCOOGE AND TRY To BoRROW THE MONEY — if - LOOK, WALT, I'VE GOT A POSTMARK FOR | SKEEZIX AND I'M NOT GOING TO CHARGE HIM A THING FOR IT. WELL, HERE IT 1S....ONE TWENTY THREE MADDEN STREET....6EE, THE HOUSES HERE COME RIGHT OUT © To THE SIDEWALI.... NO EN CHICK, PICKED UP MOMN POP = [ANEIGH ‘This Looks Bad! By Cowan THE BISMARCK TRIBUNE, THURSDAY, MAY 14, 1931 __ TOWARD ME = | REALIZE FULLY THE AMOUNT] 1 ALREADY OWE You = WHICN | AM MORE HAN ANXIOUS To PAY = MORE THAN You REALIZE= ) WOULD LIKE To BORROW 3/0000,00 MORE FOR ANVIL LOCATION, MICHIGAN. THATS A HERE'S ONE FROM PIE TOWN, NEw eo iy Mi BOTTLE WEF AT UAST- ON THE TWRD FLOOR, OFFICER THE GUMPS—THREE STRIKES AND OUT! ( Vwew.- 3COOGE~ 1 KNOW NOW ‘You FEEL MR. WALLET, | KNOW NOUR BON SKEEZIX Bll COLLECTS POSTMARKS, TOM CARR STOCK IS ‘GOING UP= | WAVE ALREADY INVESTED $10,000.02 IN IT= AND HE TOLD ME YESTERDAY THAT IN TEN DAYS A BIG DEAL WOULD COME OFF THAT WOULD MAKE MY STOCK WORTH TWENTY FIVE TIMES VALUE = TE ADVISED ME To DOUBLE MY INVESTMENT AND ft THOUGHT IF. YoU WOULD LOAN ME $10,000.% « ) WOULD PAY You EVERY CENT 1 AAADE ‘ON ACCOUNT= DEALING, LOUISIANA. wim, RED-HANDED, OFFICER TAKE THIS TO SKEEZX, (TS FROM PLAIN WELL, THEN MRS, HADDOCK WON'T La Across Solution of Yesterday's Puzzle 3. 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FER ‘em om’ MAN | LET ‘EM TAKE A PLANE SO “THEY COULD RUN ON IN ou THIS OFFICE + AND VAY 0 HERE ARE 4 COLLECTED Z| FOR MOU GEE! SUES A DANDY LADY... AN’ HERE I THoUeHT SHED. BE A MEAN WOMAN.... You WOULON'T THINK, SUCH Nice PEOPLE WOULD Live IN © -SOU'LL WANG A CHANCE T'TALK PLENTY AT THE *7, YOU OUGHTA E&e0|| Tt’ Eis 1 THREW Hi *" PELICAN SAR DIN SEEMS 70 Gee THe WELL WAL 1 TOLD |} pont TW’ BUNCH BACK HOME, bse 1 WAS GONNA FIN To PARIS -NWBY GOLLY , 1 AM heii | { } i o