The Bismarck Tribune Newspaper, May 9, 1931, Page 16

Page views left: 0

You have reached the hourly page view limit. Unlock higher limit to our entire archive!

Subscribers enjoy higher page view limit, downloads, and exclusive features.

Text content (automatically generated)

THE BISMARCK TRIBUNE, SATURDAY, MAY 9, 1981 | SIDEGLANCES - - - By George Clark eee { “Oh, I'm aways partial to eggs, any style—but Henry won't touch his if the yellow is broken.” | NOW YOU TELL ONE Crs | ANEAD OF YOoU~ WHAT WOULD You Wish FoR ? IF YoU WERE A YOUNG GIRL IN YOUR TEENS AND WAS STARTING LIFE ALL OVER AGAIN WITH YOUR WNOLE FUTURE AND HAD TWO WISHES~ WHAT WOULD WISH FOR ? WELL= 1 SUPPOSE VD BE LIKE ALL FooLisn GIRLS AT TWAT AGE AND THAT MY FIRST WISH NATURALLY WOULD BE FoR A HUSBAND — OF POSTAL CARDS AND ALL FOR SKEEZX. RETALIATION ‘A peevish wrestler, seeing red. May strangle his opponent dead, And angered water poloists Are not averse to using fists. A hockey expert whom they vex Retaliates with body checks, And often half-backs have been known ‘To break a rival's collarbone. A baseball player with dislikes Can spear opponents with his spikes, And golfers sometimes vent their spleen By hurling clubs across the green. chess Should frown on physical redress. ‘Their wisest plan when foes play dirty Is just to grin and count to thirty. —Parke Cummings in Judge. FINISHED NOW Sloan: Did your wife finish the dishes last night before the argument ended? Arnica: No, there were a fcow she left to throw at me this morning.— Pathfinder. “So your old man works for the time."—Judge. | IT LOOKED THAT WAY | Two chess experts were playing a) match to which the public was ad-| mitted. One of the players, finding himself in an awkward predicament, held his hand poised over the board for ten minutes but made no move Then one of the spectators whis- | pered to his friend, “Better run for a| doctor. That one’s paralyzed "—Tit- | Bits. BUCK FEVER The dollar's purchasing power has greatly increased during the past two Years —and so has its elusiveness. — Judge. But those annoyed while playing | AN EASY JOB He: Darling, I'm afraid we'll have ; tO manage differently. I'm not mak- {ing expenses. She: Now, don't you worry. You just go on with your work and I'll make expenses.—Pathfinder. WRONG END TO Friend—I think the end of your lat- est novel is lovely. Author—Oh, good! And what do you think of the opening chapters? | Friend—I haven't got to them yet. | | _ Maybe it would be all right for the Garbage company—does he empty the | Red Cross to help coal mine workers cans?” ‘if it would help the owners, toc. “Not yet—but that will come in| “Now, let's see—clubs are the black ones with the three little jiggers— aren't they?”—Judge. PARENTS’ BRIGHT SAYINGS My mother sed to my father, Sid- ney I wunt some money, and my fath- er, age 39, answered, tell me some- thing I don’t know. Pretending to scorn titles; classify- ing one another as Lord Million Dol- lars, Sir Half Million and Commoner Four Bits.—Americanism. WE NEVER SEE ’EM One good thing about bow-legged women: They don’t shoot their hus- bands to get into the tabloids.—Judge. ACROSS 1, Southern state: abbr. PET > | Daily Cross-word Puzzle Solution of Yesterday's Puzzle 10. Presently . Binding fabrie + In the midst Sh-h-hi! TWAT HE MIGHT KEEP AN SYE OUT FoR ANY SIONS OF MOM’N Wn GOT A CHEST POP OF SILVER OUT OF ? GLADYS AUNT AND UNCLE ABY INVITING MEM OVER To DINNER AND MAKING THEM ENT WH BENT FORKS, IND- NEEDING A SET OF CHAIRS- SHE ITED MOM’N POP For BRIDGE - “THEY'NE JUST RETURNED FROM SPENDING THE EVENING SITTING ON CRACKER BOXES THEY'RE POSTMARKS 1 SENT TO THE POSTMASTERS FOR. BLOND, LOUISIANA- SWEET, IDAHO- YOUNG, ARIZONA-~ LIVELY, VIRSINIA= JOLLN,- TEXAS - SINGLE, CALIFORNIA = AND RICH, MISSISSIPPI, A SODA FOUNTAIN... PLL GET MYSELF A cHocoLaTE SODA BEFORE I 60 ON DOWN To MRS. CULLER'S ! TELL You 1 WONT BE A WEEK L WHAT'S THE BIG ADEA OF THOSE KIDS WAITING US OVER WHEN WEY HANEN'TT A CHNR {AND As ¢ Was SALESMAN SAYWG, Sam —_ SAM = 5 of 4, Day’s march Fe . Migrate 2. Obese . Impolite 12. Conic sections {E|L - Chair 14. Feminine a ieee. | me nar Als! . Table utensil 15, And: Latin ; t » Distinguish- 16. Greater ing fea- amount tures 17, Razor [LIN] . Exercise of sharpener the 19, Manacles BAG Handle 21. Placid - Instance 22, Render un- [SMC] 35: Be in a rage ; Bar for slack 23, Unclosed iC [AR] ening 25, Push gently JOIN] 1 | tures dn a with the om aie {E] 1S MMA] 8. Kind of bird er IRIeISlelT] #. Kitchen, stove | 28, Old Dominion water so, ate: abbr. 43. 1 DOWN 42. Brother of 30. . Monkey cob 31, Winged 45. » Distance from 44. Mark ofa 33. Study 46. the equator wound 34. Ourselves ra . 100 square 46. United 35. Fuse par- 49, meters 48, Manuscripts: & tially 50. |. Black abbr. re Syed 53 Human trunk 51. Perea tion, of 38. ‘cache 53. eer face Ing season 54. P 2. 4 40. Continent 55. erfumes de ieee 41, Writer . Discharged Islands THAT You, WANE 2? GEE LYM GLAD YEH, ANDO YOU'LL PROB’LY SAY Worse THan THaT— THERE'S OUR PLAT=BoY SON OUTSID LOOKIN" Far YA, ! Gut Ht Ya, Pop! How BUCKS? BIG- OolAl's TOMGHT WAS LOOKIN’ 60 1 306’ SLIPPED OUT FoR A LITTLE AIR THE YOUNGSTERS MAT THINK ABLE TO STRAGHTEN UP FOR THATS ANEW IDEA, BUT You BND 1 PULLED THE SAME TRICK WHEN WE WERE FIRST 4 AND (T WENT BIG wh WELL = ‘D" RESERVE THAT © O.K., KENTUCKY. AWHAT- DA-WaeWEDN f T NENER PULLED A WeCL, OF ALL The NERVE! CHANCES FER TWENTY ] YouRE WoRSE THAN STAL GUDE AS A DICTIONARY . SSS = AND SOME MORE- BRAVE = PENNSNIVANIA~ MANILM, NORTH CAROLINA = UPRIGHT, VIRGINIA - == NOBLE, MISSOURI- BRILLIANT, OHIO - SUPERIOR, WISCONSIN GALLANT, ALAGAMA- AND: HERE'S THE VILLAIN— SLICK, OKLAHOMA— SLN, NORTH CAROLINA- SHADN, NEW NORK- CHEAP, THE THREE PIECE SET, THAT'S: WHAT IT Gor AND, IF 3'M NOT Say, 140 BET WHEN Your|| BUT FATHER WAS YeUR AcE Wares wuTuiar MUCH HARDE WORKIN" Hie RoR A ciate S008 NH-0rE, wank yoo’ Wn b. THoueRT FOR A MINUTE RESCUE YA For - NOTHIN’... NERY DAY WN WY, masmel / _) v7 i 4

Other pages from this issue: