The Bismarck Tribune Newspaper, May 4, 1931, Page 8

© 1931 BY NEA SERVICE, ING, REG. U. 3 PAT. OFF. “Jim wanted to buy a larger diamond, but I was afraid it would mean E, MONDAY, MAY 4, 1931 a smaller apartment.” | NOW YOU TELL ONE ‘The letter you lose out pocket may be mailed sooner than your wife expected. ary for a man to tell verything today—she gen- erally knows it. | Usually a word to the wife is suf-| ficient to start something. I know a good auto mechanic who} can take every squeak and squeal out} of a car except those in the back seat. | —The Pathfinder. H To the mother an infant is an} angel, to the landlord it’s a nuisance, to the doctor and the statesmsn, it's | just a new source of revenue. UNKIND } Benham —I've got to order a new) suit. | Mrs. Benham—Be sure to have the pockets cut large. Benham—What for? Mrs. Benham—So that you will have a place to park your hands.— It’s strange that inventoi produced anything in the \ spanking machine except the rev: ing door. WISE PROTECTION “So your name is Muggins?” “Yes.” “And you want it changed to Pull- man? Tell me why you want it changed.” “Well. to tell the truth, it was my wife's idea. She thinks we ought to have the same name that is on our spoons.” —Tit-Bits. Everybody has friends. Even the worst criminals can find twelve men me.—Tit-Bits. HE'S SATISFIED Magistrate (to prisoner): What, you here again? Prisoner: Yes, sir. Magistrate: Aren't you ashamed of yourself? Prisoner: No sir! What's good enough for you is good enough for NOT A CHANCE There had been an automobile ac- A policeman arrived to take cident. Now you say that I was to blame.” “And you certainly were.” insisted {the policeman. “But why, officer?” “Because his father is mayor, his 'prother is chief of police, and I'm | courting his sister.”"—Answers. | QUITE A SHOWING { “That girl shows distinction in her clothes.” “You mean distinctly, don't you?”— |Chicago News. ‘The restaurant chap who wipes his cutlery with a napkin is the same chap who drinks from a bottle that has a rag and corncob stopper. How unfortunate that the only men who know how to run America decid- who won't turn against them. ed to be famous critics. Daily Cross-word Puzzle ACROSS . Solution of Saturday's Puzzie 24. Spare time 1. Serpents 25. Aged 5. Dramatic 26. Finest musical 28. Hel composition 39: Alive (20. Festival 30. Device for ere Eat sparingly ee of 15. Part of a door 2. Blexit ee aye 32, Flexible rub- at. Marked with 33. Indeninite. an aste! “ 29. Instigates 35. Tardy 1. Eyes: Scotch 36; Except {a2 enna sand 38. Ways of ln. Tas un ene a” 2. Largo mass of Hal 42. Decompose floating ice 43. Carry on 3t, perroeen. ts 44. Boy ver valley 46. Cleansed with 31. Long fish U water after 32, Domestic towls washing 33. French river 41. Look angrily oy aah to iand 49. Blacksmith’s pita, fet 3. Vegetable furnace 4. Scatters $0. Matric Tana +. _low nature 53. Mountain: 5. Overt 52 The: Freneb a |. Perils |. Type measure 54, Artificial 39. Fruit pre- 57, Replies 8. Alludes ler in a serves 61. Medicinal 9. By the side of stream 49. The Greek M plant 10, Those who 55. Wing 41. Assistant 62. Web-footed conjecture 56. Negative minister birds 11, Massachusetts ‘adverb 48. Billow 64. Lamb's pen cape 51. A king of 44. Ingredient of name 12. Ignited Israel Sealing wax 65. Entangles 13, Siamese colns 58. Guldo’s high- 45. Ascended 66. Old Icelandie 18. Thing est note 46. Scarce writings 20. Myself 59. Edge ortal 61. Inclined walk 22. Mark of » 60. Juice of @ DOWN 43. 49, Pear-shaped fruits Profits 1. Public notices 2. Take a chair low plant 23. Fish-eating 63. Ending of the bird past tense NES= (M PERHAPS THE RICHEST MAN — WHY-IN. AXY DRESSER DRAWER= INTHE WORLD © TRON SAVINGS BANK ALONE = D> AWAY HAT TUNE TUS THESE YEARS = ON- You DON'T NAVE To ECONOMIZE- DON'T TRY TO FOOL Rea A PEEK AT Ad “Ane SPEND bey INE SEEN HIDING FR TuaSE MILLIONS BECAUSE - R NUSBAND YESTER DAY — ALL THE STEAM SHIP mak 1 SAW WHAT YOU HAD IN ND BUY ALL THE SOSAPANIES Tt LINES AND ALL MAS PLENTY OF MONEY = NOUR SAVINGS ACCOUNT- IN THE WORLD — ‘ WON'T SELL = GASOLINE ALLEY—WALT OVERLOOKED SOMETHING FINE, DOC. ONLY TELL YOU WHAT THE NEW SES eee IE) oe Common PUP, WALT? a Ptiaty ~ | AND LET SOMEONE RUN ie = H over wiS TAL IN THE BE FLATTENED OUT |, BN SOMEBODY G SOFT EARTH. THAT'LL CURE HIM. ; V WRONG? wy. YOU LOOK aS 'F (7 SIMPLY LAPDEN YOU MEAN BocuS No (T WON'T... DLL SOMETHING WAS iS 7% BE ABSOLUTELY money % oly GIVE YoU TWENTY KNOW IT WAS FARBAR FRECKLES WRONG wim THAT MACHEREL!' THEN) DOLLARS OUT OF MY WiHo STOLE HEcToR'S AND HIS Twon.couae ‘ woruess...'"6 || mv cash wilt BE Ou PocieET AND vo RUBYee I THINK DLL vais apc tlperecaale oy tia. t NTEREE!T ! OFE TWENTY ul HANE This MAKE A BEE LINE leuT ao S 2 . QUIT COLD Now, SINCE FoR HOME... L OON'T WANT To 6ET MIXED \NE'VE FOUND OUT THIS Brace Up, Freckles! By Blosser GOSH, SUGAR, T NENER HAD AN IDEA } OU LEANE “THAT WELL, 3 MMLED an) Taat’s DUMB! WAST OF 11? ENERVONE ON TERE EAM, MOM’N | GROCERIES CAME SO WIGH! TS] XO ME. HONEW ~ ANNOUNCEMENT OF OUR / WE'VE BEEN MARRIED]! 1S PRACTICALLY GOOD FOR A SuGAR! POP MESS MADE A FEWER Look . CAREFUL, THIS 1S WEDDING WITH OUR TWO MONT 'S. LNMMAT'S HT MEAL . WHEN THEY GET OUR Le A ' LIKE THIRTY CENTS -—~ WE ORIEN INSvE KA HOME ADDRESS To ] THE BIG [Vent THERE'S |] ANNOUNCEMENT THEVLL FEEL OBLIGATED/ FOX J! GOTTA Go EASY ON THE ENERYONE OF THEM a cx BUDGET THE REST TORY . Gladys Has Ideas! By Cowan 7 LEET A BRACELET ) You MusTA Had A LoT \ (1s That BRACELET YOU \ TEs, SIREE/AND IT) (WHAT KINDA MARKIN’ fae ALESMAN WITH sam TO BE OE CONFIDENCE IN H(M— || WERE SUPPOSED TO was .€_CINCH Jos, (S THS ? YA GOT WHAT 8 ENGRAVED — (S/T JUST A MINUTE - (LL SEE! | ENGRAVE FOR MISS. Too / Looks LIKE @ PERIOD SAM ReAaor VETO smith READY VETO AND THEN SMITH AElER| \(T-: Hasn'T SHE ANY « FIRST Name? y Brevity, Gass -1 % a See ? 1S A SNIP, WIE = A SHIP !! GWAN .WAVE YOUR FLAG LIKE EVERYTHING BREECHES THATS THEM, ALL RIGHT“ FULL STEAM AHEAD