The Bismarck Tribune Newspaper, April 29, 1931, Page 10

4 Awiem sracvoae Urtadg CHSTRES" MN SESRSSSSBET 0% rab eee tay eercbeeoee wine 8 Pans THE BISMARCK TRIBUNE, WEDNESDAY, APRIL 29, 1931 First Barber: “Bert, can 1 borrew one of your razors?” | NOW YOU TELL ONE THAT 50-CENT TIP “Once while I was in Australia,” sa President Hoover, “I went to a and gave a millionaire a half-doilar tip, thinking he was the butler. Later | we had a great laugh over the inci- dent.” r “It must have been funny” re- marked Postmaster General Brown. “Funniest part was that he never returned the half-dollar,” grinued the president.—Boston Transcript. | When a bank reopens, that means | you still owe it what you boriowed, but it,no longer owes you what you deposited. AT 11:30 P.M. Son—Tell me a story, ma Mother Cooking at the clock)—Just wait, father will be home socn and he'll tell us both one. — Capper's | In France writers kiss each other. | Weekly. “Is Jimmie the youngest of Mrs. ‘Thompson's five children? “Yes, and he’s the healthies’ of the Tot.” “How do you count for that?’ “Well. Mrs. Thompson got a job! soon after he was born and was never | around to tell the child what not to do. “T always carry my wife's picture in my watch.” | “Ts it aii open face?” “Oh, no! She stopped talking long enough to have it taken.” Angus—I hear Donald Mactight got | quite a kick out of calling on Banker Squeeze's daughter the other night. Sandy — Yes, he showed me the Place. Her father must wear No. 14s. “center of a huddle, jin the rack. HOW'S THIS NAME? In Detroit, Mich., a young Jugoslav applied for naturalization papers, was asked his name. “It’s Vazil Rasko Ferarrav—wait, I'll spell it for you,” he replied. He did: Ferarravuceinc- mooceuigearmociccoul.—Time. | Yet some authors get creait for | “deepness” because they can’t express {a simple idea well enough to let the | reader know what they are driving at. Give the pharmacists credit for one thing. They don’t call soda jerkers “jerkticians.” | | Fashion experts who predict the re- {turn of crinoline evidently have not taken the measurements of efficiency japartments into consideration. In this country they slap each other. Captive Male—Darling. I'm afraid we'll have to manage differently. I'm not making expenses. The Madam—Now, don't worry. You just go on with your work and I'll make expenses! Alice—Lucille seems to prefer foot-| ball players, Grace—Yeah, she likes to be the | William—Papa, what is meant by the law of natural selection? Papa—Grabbing the best umbrella It is estimated that 85 per cent of | the darned fool suggestions begin} with the words, “There oughta be a} law.” ACROSS L Strikes a baseball . European fine 5. Device for expunging 5. Native metal |F al pa & Tipping to one E the round side end 33. Great Lake 3 former 34. Veneration . Prongs 16. Outer covering RI 22: Pate and sickly 17. Writing ma- looking terial . Dirt 18. Genus of the $| 27. Considers maple tree 29. Lacking beat 19. Condition E ‘lower 21. Uncooked N . God for whom 23. Black bird of Wednesday the cuckoo is named 2. Near” ; Beko 3 . Decor: 25. Color slightly 2 placed on 28. Membranous R} 39. One who ex- pouc! 20, Type measure N} a 31. Jacks or [S| 49. Before better 42. English school 83. Sutticient: 44. Gas occurring poet. 55. Sister of char- 75. Huge wave in the air 5. Corroded ity 76. Grows rigid 46. Horse trained . Literary sus 66. Church coun- to jump pervisor cil 1. College in 42. Eagles Easy gait 87. European fish Kentucky 50. Regret Wild plums 9. Sound of a 2. Greek 52. Expressions Chess pieces small ex- philosopher peculiar to Serpent plosion 3. Light variety a language County tn 61. French coin of a color 53. Rapidly England 63, Puzzle 4. Sober 54. Feeble-minded |. Proposal made 65. Plane surface 5. to ascertain 67. Ancient the views of slaves 6. Corded fabric others 70. American T Always { 48. Peer Gynt’s Methodist 8. 100 square mother divine meters 49. Time long 71. Of a material 9. Meadow gone nature ). Peruvian 51. Edges 73. Ponder ndian 53. Exist 4. Come in 11, Landscape ; Danish money person ofaccount 8. Scandinavians aucy NO- You wouLon'r RUN YOUR HUSBAND IN DEBT— You'RE NOT LIKE OTHER. WIVES — YOu'RE SO DIFFERENT LIKE TNE WATCNMAKER AND THE JAILER = GASOLINE ALLEY—WHOSE DOG ART THOU? HE JUST \ WENT AROUND THE CORNER OF THE HOUSE, ONCLE WALT. GEE CHICK WERE Gone to BE SO MBPPY, UST THINK. IT'S OURS- OUR HOME !! (04 Goll’ TS TH’ BALL GAME, KIT CY — SAMS GONNA BURN SALESMAN EM OVER TH' PLATE FER HémMeE TEAM — You GANE US THE Scare OF OUR LIVES.... YoU FAINTED DEAD AWAY WHEN I SHOwED you THAT PHOTOGRAPH... \WHO POSED AS A CRIPPLE AND STOLE HECToR'S RUBY F Hmm... WELL, \WHO IS HE, FRECKLES AND THE " JAILeR, WATCHES CELLS —. N'T WELL — oer iE THES WATCH MAKER CONNECTION SELLS WATCHES = DORSNT. ( SKEEZIX, HERE'S NOUR BOG! ‘TAKE: HIM AWAN! HELLO PUNCH! HOW'S A NICE PUPS? COME SEE : ME. TLL BE GETTIN’ Back, To SHADYSIDE... I DONT WANT To GET MIXED UP = wm THaT rewa 77 MY , AGAIN fC 1S HIS NANE.u0° B.C. FARBAR =, Le@vess THE B.c. STANDS. BABY, WHO couLD SOUABBLE IN A HOME UKE THIS? It'S THE NERY PLACE I'VE DREAMED OF HONING .- NNELL, LET'S GET BUSY WS BG CHne WILL GO OVER HERE BY THE NO, TNE PLANNED | (BUT tT DOESN'T Fit IN, AT'S THE ONLY To Put CNER THERE, SUGAR | wo EVER HEARD |] CARES A WIFE REQUEST TVE INTIS SPACE - AND BESIDES, \T LOOKS JoF A BIG CHAIR OUGHT XO UNE \V Looks BETTER] | RETIER oveR BY _ / SKIMMED UP ME FINAL SAY THE WINDOW-- 1 AGAINST Learns: \N WER HOME URANO RE AORTSI OW WELL! 1 SPOSE L MIGHT AS WELL LET TH’ POOR GUY SLEEP! HE'S PROBABLY MORE. SLEEPY THAN 1 AM en “AN BESIDES, 1 GOT ‘IM INTO ALL #fE ISS OOH, / HOPE HE WINS GIT out AN’ STAY OUT! YER. ROTTEN { HUH! TEN RUNS OPEN YA IAL TH! FolstT INN! | THEY, DID— > DION'T -THEY § , WHATIER Ya. Doin' OUT HERE: 1 “thoucHTt THEY WERE GONNA. SAME Tovar Pear a MONAHANS MoNGRELS Versus KASENS. Lt ponno-—- sor WIE print !! WOTSA MATTER: WITR THIS WAVES WALLOPER ?