The Bismarck Tribune Newspaper, April 15, 1931, Page 10

“Oh, Mr. Poindexter—Hey, you, Poindexter!” | NOW YOU TELL ONE | TRADE MATHEMATICS “Johnny,” the teacher said to the ‘butcher's son, “how many legs has a sheep?” “Please, teacher, do you riean a live sheep or a dead sheep?” “What difference does it make?” “Well, if it's a live sheep the an- swer is four, but if it’s a dead sheep it’s two, ‘cause the front ones are shoulders of mutton, not legs."—Lon- don Opinion. NO CHOICE THERE! ‘The weary doughboy, fresh from the trenches moved slowly up the aisle of the “Y” theater. “Oh, I say, soldier, you can't sit there,” said the secretary. “The front is reserved for officers.” “Well, the one I just came from ‘wasn't!” the soldier snapped ack in reply.—A. & N. Journal. HOPEFUL SIGN In police court a man testified that “he didn't do anything, he worked in| the city.” The drive against perjury must be succeeding.—Hamilton Spec- tator. UNCOMFORTABLE “For safety I always sieep with my pocketbook under my pillow.” “Oh, I can’t bear my head so high.” —Hummel, Hamburg. If she washes dishes for a man who | foves her, that’s drudgery; if she works in the office of a fat old rake who tries to hug her, that’s a career. Still, a bricklayer would feel as superior as an intellectual if he never ventured out to discover that other People are just as smart. Anyway, there are many women who will not have any new Easter hat to spoil in the rain this year. THE TWO KINDS | | Mrs. Hatt stopped to talk to her |friend, and her husband waited at a |short distance. Presently she rejoined him again. “H'm,” he commenced, “and what was that woman talking about?” “Business,” his wife replied off- handedly. ; oy | stern | | know,” murmured hubby “but whose?”—Answers. SO CAREFUL Judge: If you were in that house |for no dishonest purpose, why were you in your stocking feet? Prisoner: I heard there was sick- jness in the family.—Pathfinder. FROM BAD TO WORSE Hubby: You didn't have a rag on your back when I married you. Wife: Yes, but I've plenty of them now.—Pathfinder. | | | TALK IS CHEAP “your wife is talking of going to | France this summer. Have you any | objections?” “No, certainly not. | Passing Show. Let her calk.”— The parents of America are over- |looking a bet by not persuading Babe | Ruth to indorse spinach. A dog's life still has drawbacks. Imagine having to sit on somebody's lap all the time. | Daily Cross-word Puzzle | ACROSS sterday’s Puzzle 4. Rounded roof Puppets Solution of Yes! 13. Graceful aquatic bird 21. Builder of the Ark 5 ct Fr NOW ASK: ME = \F YT TAKES THREE MINUTES ame To Bol. ONE EGG HOW MANY WILL IT STAKE To BOIL THREE ? 7 rl | om »YOU CERTAINLY TELL WHOPPERS ABOUT THAT CHILO OF YOURS — YESTERDAY YOU SAID HE WEIGHED THIRTY POUNDS = AND TODAY YoU TELL ME HE WEIGHS FORTY TWO SPEAKING OF THE WEIGHTS OF BABIES — MY FATH8R WEIGHED ONLY “THREE POUNDS ANB A NALF WHEN NE WAS GREAT SCOTT = - YOU DON'T MEAN TO TELL ME = DID HE Liye? ii i } LISTEN, FELLAS! ‘TLL FEEL HURT IF NOU DON'T LET ME TAKE BILL. AND NOuU- ALL DOWN TO THE STATION IN’ MN CAR, ONE 1S A LOT” MORE CHUMMY AND (T'S ALL, FRED. HOP RIGHT IN. = AN ArpLane / NOW WHO COULD TWAT BEE HE'S ONE CRUTEH IS ALL I CAN FIND THERE OU6UTA BE ANOMER ONE, BUT I'VE LOOKED ALL OVER AN' THIS WELL, T'N GOING TO LAND RIGHT % THE DEPOT, AN’ ASK THE TICKET AGENT HE'D KNOW-« FRIENDS 1S THE ONLY ONE L HE Solo THE THIEF “Downs THER WN A TicKet if THAT FieLD/! Stranger? | By Blosser CHICK , Look WERE! MOM’N WHERE 1S GLADYS? YOU TWO ARE IN A FINE \ LEASE,OR POP mr ty m z CKLE | I'NE BEEN To SOMETHING, HE a SAID y This Looks Bad! By Cowan ‘SAM, G'WAN OVER To MY HOUSE! MRs, GU22LEM WANTS Ya T 00 AN ERRAND FoR HER! MRS, GU22LEM SENT THese TWo Pies To You, Miss Noser! Hey, REO, Yh HEARD, (NOW, REDDY, | WANT YoU To TAKE WHAT GU22. SAIo—| | THESE THREE PIES OVER. TO THE NOW G'WAN AND HOSPITAL AND GIVE % STEP ON IT! oss, Nosey ! ) =a Mr. Heep's 23, Insects’ egge ae. mnttet, name 25, Melodies ‘ . In a line 26. Not hollow aT. F Pee aetna 22. Threefold ‘gum 28. Demolishes 29. Feminine 29. Pertaining to name 20. Heightened ae 22. Pertaining to Wrvgiid oie 31 At no time mountains 32, Large knives Labor 35. Karly alpha Decorate betic char- ‘urrent of acters water veins 38, Simulation ; Danish money 40, Heating device i ‘of account 43. Largest vege- . Wading bird table growth S Whistle with 45. Scraped linen varying 48, Projecting | Di 83. Slumbering OowNn arm to 31. Speak im. 66. Splashes 1. Valley ious ane fectly 60, 2 Not el other part 39. Straightedze §1 puted ; 5 Networe > 50. Cleared 4L Short for a * ew 4. Condition 52, Malice man's name 63. Snare 6. Old musica) 3. Last of the 42. Lifeless 64. Pinches instrument Stuart sove 44 Pertaining to 65. Muse of iyrie $. Bay window ,,_. erelgns a Doel . Told és . Earth \46, Small ‘mound 66. Medieval truth 85. Cuts of { of earth italian fam- 8. Fall bebind 66. Pierce with « 4% Renezade 4 ol? 1% Guiting toot pointed . guest e er ). Female serv- ‘weapop 5L Afternoon SE River on, et ate 52, Gaelic w ome 11. American lake 538. Fixed charge $2, Mathematical lies 1% Ecclesiastical 59. Hastened ratio 62. Silkworm a Ae 2S 4608s ee - @aeee cl RE ‘aT Nhl Ht 115 No O-UsE! NOW, EVEN IF 1 OD GET TW! MOTOR STARTED, LUE DUMPED so MUCH ‘FORL | 1 DONT WANE ENOUGH LEFT T'GET ACROSS WHEN TW’ PLANE Hits TH! WATER, TLL WORN OVER SURE --1 WOLLDNT WANE A CHANCE | TLL Have tho SOME wn’. “A” QUICK , 00 «=. ene DESPERATE EFFORT To GET WE MOTOR STARTED 0 WHILE THE PLANE , WITH JSUCH A HENNY LOAD OF FUEL ABOARD ,15 SINKING BT A SICKENING. RATE OF omEED ! AS A LAST ING 250 ~-: AND. AGAIN, ANOTRER 250 GALLONS TO UGHTEN THE PLANE