The Bismarck Tribune Newspaper, April 14, 1931, Page 10

SOT NRE tes Ser randy ot THE BISMARCK TRIBUNE, TUESDAY, APRIL 14, 1981 { “Me? Say—I coulda been married years ago, if I hadn’t always been thinkin’ of my career.” ere Serres Seer ns OW YOU TELL ON | GRANDMA WAYBACK SAYS ‘The modern girl may know the ropes, but they are not the kind you thang wash out on. Man may have been “created a lit- tle lower than the angels” but he cer- ‘tainly has done a lot of slipping since. Many a real complexion today trav- els under false colors. Most of the hot times the modern girls and boys have ain't worth the cold cash it costs. ‘The mistake high society makes is fn thinking its little world is the ‘whole big earth. Most of these modern ‘lappers ‘can’t even wear a smile without look- Sng in the mirror every few minutes to see if it still fits them. GRANDPA WAYBACK SAYS A layman is a man who knows by {instinct what a preacher spends all his time trying to find out. Antiques today are just furniture that is paid for. The trouble with the man who is always insisting upon fair play is that he wants to be the judge. Age is one fire extinguisher that never fails to put out flaming youth. You never heard of a woman losing any sleep because she is two-faced, but a double chin often causes them a lot of insomnia. The fellow who spends his youth sowing wild oats usually spends his old age cutting his corns. FORCE OF HABIT “The traffic officer says you got sarcastic with him.” “But I didn’t intend to be. He talked to me like my wife does and {I forgot myself and answered, ‘Yes dear!’ ”"—Pathfinder. If all the radio crooners were placed end to end they'd still reach for the megaphone. SPRING BLOOMS ‘They say that the robins around Chicago this spring have bullet-proof red breasts... . During a recent gang killing there the police are re to have stood idly by with their hands in each other's pockets. . . . Mayor “Jimmie” Walker has found ont that all play and no work has made a lot of folks in New York hot under the collar. . . . The sun baths he took in California undoubtedly make him feel better than the limelight bath he is getting in Manhattan. ... It is a fact that Mayor Walker wrote the song, “Will You Love Me in De- cember as You Do in May.” But we'll see.... Theodore Dreiser slapped the face of Sinclair Lewis twice at a New York banquet. That’s putting two American Tragedies on one Main Street.... The only thing that re- mains is for Lewis to write a novel called “The Other Cheek” while Drei- ser works on a book titled, “A Story With a Punch.” TALE END FIRST “I think the end of your latest novel is lovely.” “Oh, good! And what do you think of the opening chapters?” “I haven't got to them yet.’—An- swers. COLOSSAL NERVE “You say your neighbor has a lot of nerve?” “Yes; but his wife is worse. She comes in to use our phone to make an appointment with her dentist. And she knows I'm one, too.'— An- swers. Superciliously sneering at Eroupe; muttering in hurt astonishment when Europe reveals any dislike for Amer- | ica.—Americanism. A party split is inevitable when jMen straddle just so far. | Daily Cross-word Puzzle | ACROSS Solution of Yesterday’s Puzzie 9. Gaze £ Sitbiins 10. Youns dos 1L Grow old %. Mineral 16. Thaw 18. Converse 1 2. 8 ver 20, Scoft 3. 21. Pronoun a4 ‘bor boat 22. Assisted 5. incinerate 23. One of the 7. Day’s march Piterim sete 9, Measure tlers 0. River valley 24, Brought into bet adjustment Hl France and 25. Prophets Germany 27. Mother Goose Ii. Article of tur character ! alture 30. Mass of fuseo |33. Ornaments for impurities i the ankles 8 (26. sword'tantie |A|SMEGIEIMMMWIAIRIPMMRII IO] 31. acon ot ng 137. Smooth and IR} witb the glossy primary 28. Concerning nification 29: European ‘feb [E[N[O[S MMAIM[t|S[S] *2. Enetied col. . Apple juice 4 34. SL Indication £0F 39. scrutinize DOWN 56 Preeun® tor to speak 40. Opine 1. Pouch 37; Larne fat-bote 23. Former nega- 42 Admission of 2. Auricle tomed boats tive wrong or 3. Shake 39. Precise loca- 33. Borough tn discourtesy 4. Shippi tion Salem 45. EBlectriti 49. Gratuity t gomey., pal 4L Garden im- New Jersey 66, Settle money clement 34. Performer ‘upon 42. Bustle 35. Single vrint- 48. Front of the 43, Tibetan zalle at. ts 49. Wooden pip 44. Neverthelere 0. 41. Symbol for nickel 7? 7 FRECKLES AND HIS FRIENDS By Blosser MOM’N POP Pop to the Rescue! BOOTS AND HER BUDDIES BE FOUND IN ALL THE BENJAMIN, GUMP-| LAST NIGHT LONG. TS GET DRESSED sam! Just make ” YOURSELF AT Home! WHAT SHALL 1 DO? IF TOM CARR PROPOSED = 1) WOULD ACCEPT HIM IN’ A MINUTE~ WM DESPERATE — s HAPPINESS - EVERY ONE SPEAKS OF IT- BUT. FEW KNOW IT= OH- IF ALL THE WORLD WELL- BIMBO~ THERE IS STILL A GOOD STOCK THE LAST CAN OP CHICKEN ALA KING = : ST BE DONE= oes IN LIFE'S CUPBOARD Nd BN Mated 2 (eae AND TOM 13 COMING ay ais TODAY THAN In STORE HEAVENENES = FOR DINNER TONIGHT : ‘owe EVERYBODY — AND | JUST CAN'T GET.UP COURAGE To ASK THE 4 GROCER To CHARGE ANOTHE! MOW.-WILL 1 EVER PAY ‘8C0O0G JE TOM CARR STOCK wikt ‘anes GQa_- ME CALLE WIDOW WEALTH= as FOR THE THROW! % First TINE HIMSELP. IN MONTHS= } PRET = on peteMal AND TOM (ARR! To SAY THAT THE OLD LOVE VS RE KINDLED} AND FLAMING A SortiNe (7 MILBLY= Noy, RETURN a HER LOVE~ TOM CARR/ AND SHE BEWARE. PENNILESS=| ARE YOU THE POSTMASTER? ) WILL NOU TELL THE OTHER =| POSTMASTERS TO PLEASE YA STAMP THEIR POSTMARKS PLAINGR. 1 GET SOME 1 CAN HARDLN READ. NO. ANYTHING 1 CAN! 00 FOR NOU? NOU THE a POSTMASTER? Paro THAT SKEEZIXS POSTMARK COLLECTION CONTINUES TO GROW. TLL BETCHA ANYTHING THIS BELONGS TO THAT CRIPPLED FELLA WHO Su-SH-- NO PLACE! I'M JUST THROWING A SCARE INTO THE KIDS. THEY'VE BEEN SIGNING THEIR NAMES AT RANDOM,ON A LOT OF PAPERS —AWo| AWEY'NE RENTED ‘TWO APARTMENTS BUT. CHICK HADN'T ‘TOLD ME HE HAD RENTED A PLACE,OR T WOULDNT HANE PU’ A DEPOSIT ON THE OTHER APARTMENT. BA-LIENE ME, L THIS SURPRISING } DO ABOUT IT. BUT JUST TUCK THIS UNDER YouR: WATS-SCRIBBLING. You enc wt bu out YOU ww? iv ¥ APARTMENTS] = WoRRY=T CAM “STRAIGHTEN, (T OUT OKEH—F JUST » WANTED T'TEACH THEM Not ‘To Toss THEIR NAMES AROUND 60 CARELESSLY, WetC, 14 TELCIN’ Hit” RIGHT T His Face WHAT 1 THINK OF Hi: TAtwars 00, Den'T ¢? NOW — TARTS BETTER --=--THANK HEAVEN 1. WAS LIGHT ENOUGH To CLIMB IM AY 5000 FEET Now