The Bismarck Tribune Newspaper, April 9, 1931, Page 12

THE BISMARCK TRIBUNE, THURSDAY, APRIL 9, 1981 TRIBUNE'S PAGE OF COMIC STRIPS AND ‘FEATURES THE GUMPS—RIGHT FROM THE HEART ‘: “Now, have you ever dreamt of a hundred foot, thirty-five crew, twin screw engine, private yacht?” | NOW YOU TELL ONE PEGGY KNEW! “Mamma, I have the ache,” said Peggy, aged 5. “That's because you haven't had ‘ny lunch yet,” answered Peggy's mother. “Your stomach is empty. ‘You would feel better if you had something in it.” "That afternoon the minister called and in conversation remarked that he had been suffering all day with a headache. “That's because it’s: empty.” said Peggy. “You'd feel better if you had something in it.”—Prairie Farmer. stomach “Man has excelled the birds,” boasts an airplane ad. No bird, for example, can hit the ground at sixty miles per hour. BY HIS BOOTSTRAPS Sergeant (drilling awkward squad) —Company! Attention! Lift up your left leg and hold it straight out in front of you! One of the squad held up his right leg by mistake. This brought his right-hand companion’s left leg and his own right leg close together. Sergeant—And who ig that fellow over there holding up both legs? — Prairie Farmer. Maybe clothes make the man but the lack of them seems more effective when the gold digger decides to make one. The claim that Chicago is the Athens of America seems absurd. Athens wasn't dominated by gentle- men from Sicily. USED TO IT ‘The heiress pumped her own flat tire And did not turn a hair; "Twas quite a common thing for her To give “flat tires” the air. —Boston Transcript. ONE PARTY EXCEPTED Caller—Your daughter is such a vi- vacious girl, always the life of the party. Hostess—Her poor father says she'll be the death of him yet.— Chicago News. A small town has one advantage. It can get a winning pitcher just by taking up a collection. ONE ON THE COCO “I take an aspirin to clear my head.” “Oh, I see—a sort of vacuum clean- er.”—Chicago News. Soon or late, America wil! dig a canal through Nicaragua. The only question is what great moral prin- ciple will require it. It's very difficult to diagnose an in- fant’s illness. You see, an infant has no teeth. America can’t risk another war. ‘Think of the enemy tanks that woule slip in disguised as hooch trucks. HOW IT STARTED Nora came into the living room of tHe boarding house and spoke to the landlady: “There's a mouse in the pantry. What shall I do?” “Shut the door and let it starve to death,” volunteered a boarder.—Cap- per's Weekly. ‘There may be something in it. You didn’t read much about filling sta- tions being held up until the things began to turn yellow. Thinking the Filipino unfit to gov- ern himself; leaving the management of vast public affairs to men you wouldn't hire to manage a smali store. —Americanism. | Daily Cross-word Puzzle ACROSS: 1. Without sugar 4. Lessen Solution of Yesterday's Puzzle 9. Undermine 12, Air: comb, form 18. Sweetheart 14, Difference be- tween two form ). Asiatic penin- consecutive bers num 15. Brought to @ cul ina- tion EG Edes eal |. Open 3. Lubricant |. Anoint - Animals’ nech 1%. Indigo plant 18. More ignoble 19. Germ cell 20. African ante- 33, Pelt with 24. Exist 26, need 39. Inigaity 30. Indian of Tierra del 35. Before 36. rears 62. Went rapidiy tc rome 53, Shabby: me collog. Likel 56. Fertile 61 bf; Compass polat coverings . Symbol for tantalum . Make exultant Disregard the Advertisee ment 1. Absconds 40. Institute suit Eat away ‘Small depres- sion } Prohibition. . And: Latin . Title of @ 1, Membranous ouch 2, Long fish 3. Card game 4. Word of lamentation Spars wagon 61, Organ of sight 63. True 1 SAvy THE MOST WONDERFUL MOVIE THis AFTERNOON — WHY 1S [T= 1 WONDER = MAT HUSBANDS DON'T MAKE LOVE AT HOME LIKE THEY DO ON THE SCREEN ? CORKN'S TERRIBLY DIRTN. TAKE HIM IN AND gree/ | WASH HIS FACE, WILL Nou, SKEEzm? DO You REALIZE - . ANDY = THAT You NEVER _ NOTICE WHAT GOWN | WEAR, EVEN IF IT'S tal eee OU _COULDN He COLOR OF .IT~ 1 THINK A HUSBAND SHOULD BE MORE OBSERVING = A WIFE LOVES A LITTLE FUSS OULD TELL HER ONCE IN AWHILE “THAT PRETTIEST~ SHE'S iN BEAUTIFUL = AKN EXCUSE FOR THREE -NEAR-OLOS GETTIN’ THEIR FACES DIRT™. NOW - THERE You } Go- MY DARLUING= AS IF You OIDN'T KNOW THAT YOU WERE BEAUTIFUL~" WEN A WOMAN 1S BEAUTIFUL — SNE KNOWS THAT SNE'S BEAUTIFUL — os AND EVEN IF You WEREN'T BEAUTIFUL — WY LITTLE SUGAR) PLOM — IN MY ENES = YoU WOULD BE BEAUTIFUL ANYWAY = THERE CORKN GOT ALL WASHED UP. DOESN'T HE LOOK A LOT BETTER? Now LET THAT BE THE LAST OF IT... You HIKE eS Gee wizz.. WE ASKED Rust as every. i THING WAS GOING ALONG IN GREAT SWAPE, FRECKLES FAMER SET WIS FOOT COvIN ON THE IDEA OF FRECKLES ACCON- PANING DETECTIVE STEELE ,IN SEARCH OF THE THIEF HELLO -MR.GUNN ?-- THIS 15 THE. GROOM STREET REALTY-.- TIVE BEEN THINKING ABOUT YoU YOUNG ‘FOLKS EVER SINCE You OFFERED ME S40 FOR THAT APARTME! YOU LIKED SO WELL -T'LL TELL YOU WHAT TLE DO.-T'LL SPLIT THE DIFFERENCE AND MAKE IT 425° GIVEN UP ALL HOPE OF GETTING THE Sam, THERES AGENT \) HES BY THE DRUG IA THE SPORTING- Goods J COUNTER, NOW - MEBBE DEPARTMENT — HE WANTS A MEDICINE SENSE IN GOIKE- To BED~-L WON'T SLEEP ANYWAY, THINKIN’ ABouT CRIPPLED MAN ASK MOM... GEE...MOM IS EASIER To GET [amleerase, AND TVE COME DOWN $180 --- IT'S A BARGAIN AT 1 WISH TS FIT OUT MY CRICKET Team WITH BATS AND BALLS, YOUNG- MAN — BOOTS AND HER BUDDIES ZEL00M WAS ATHING <0 APREMED TO POPLINE FANCY AG: BOOTS’ DNRING ATTEMPT TO FAX HE ATLANTIC ,SINIGLE HANDED + EVERYWHERE, PEOPLE ARE ANKIOUSLIY WANING FOR THE LATEST NEWS , WHI lo RUSHED OUT CUER RADIO, WIRELESS AND YELEPHONE -~-NEWOPAPERS ARE SWAMPED WITH ENQUIRIES «-’ CROWDS eigto-W AROUND EVERY BULLEXIN BOARD «TRAFFIC 16 AT A STAND- AW SAY, MISTER, FORGET} THaT STUFE! Ke up Basesace ! HHERE’s NUTHIN' Like THE OLD Bact Game! BaA-BEE ! wont GLAPYS _BE SURPRISE! WHEN TL BREAK THE Dw NEWS ff OLD? way cricKkeTé oloer. THan Basebacc!) he FIRST CRICKET GAME WAS PLAYED IN ENGLAND In Te 13 century! co > MS L0ow "AT ME — MY HAR onrs- pa ti. NEVER CLEAN +