The Bismarck Tribune Newspaper, March 26, 1931, Page 11

ad a the zoo)—Indeed I do. © 1931 BY NEA SERVICE, 1 “All right, smartie! You're always praising your mother’s cooking —why don’t you say something tule I find a place like this all by myself?” THE BISMARCK TRIBUNE, THURSDAY, MARCH 26, 1931 THE GUMPS—SOUP’S ON! TILDA= WHAT KIND OF SOUP WAS. HAT YOU HAD FOR LUNCH TO DAY ? YVE BEEN ALL AFTERNOON TRYING YO FIGURE OUT WHETHER THERE WAS TOO MUCH SALT FOR TNE SOUP = OR TOO MUCH b UT ee TORRE Ate THINNEST SOUP 1 EVER ‘TASTED == ALL WATER = WHAT WAS IT ? WEL! xD, > TONEN = AND YO o Bown EXPENSES — WELL~ MIN- THEY SAY THAT IN FRANCE - THEY SOMETIMES DECORATE TNEIR COOKS ~ THERE'S ONE COOK OUT IN OUR KITCHEN ‘y WAS THE WATER ‘THE EGGS WERE BOILED Y ALL RIGHT. I'M ALWANS WILLING "LL HAND THAT FELLOW THE CIGAR AN’ INE GOT TO BE READY TO LIGHT IT a NOW YOU TELL ONE A hick town is a place where the few people who are patriotic enough to accept the “thank-you” jobs are cussed for trying to run things. And when at last the savages are all civilized, maybe the Christian na- tions can train themselves not to butcher one another. TRAVEL NOTE I've noticed this fact as I've traveled afar, No matter how lovely the spot, Some people are happy wherever they are And others wherever they're not! —Judge. ‘l A clergyman back from Russia says wicked villagers are shooting chil- dren, instead of crushing them under cars in our superior way. INFLUENCE OF MOVIES Mother—Hurry, darling, or we shall be late for church. Elsie (age 7)—Is there only one showing, -mother?—Stray Bits: Most crooks fail. You see, a man who has brains enough to be a suc- cessful crook has too much sense to _ try it. When the talkie has eliminated all other competition, we hope it will work on the creatures who sit behind us and jabber. HER NOTICE Mistress—I must get a griiler for the kitchen when I'm downtown. You know what a griller is? Green girl (with recollections of It's a long, hairy monkey the size of a man, and {t you want one of those in your kitchen I'm leaving at once.—Tit- Bits. The chief objection to the five-day roe is that week-ends. would over- Pp. ; will enable you to talk on all subjects LONG DISTANCE EGGS Grocer—You say these eggs sre not fresh lady? Why, they're just from the country.—Capper’s Weekly. The voice of the people would be more effective, however, as a chorus instead of a medley. Great men seem to have little in common except that all of them looked simple in early portraits. ~ o AND NOST OF THE THINGS VIHICH Z AN® FORTUNATE ENOUsH RD POSSESS ARE OF EXCEPTIONAL VALUE... THEREFORE 1% GUARD THEN VERY CAREFULLY... WOW MR. HECTOR, IF UTHATS Winy t SENT FoR feta dbie Casati OF Rane: HOw Wis BURGLARY OF RAI GENS AND ANTIQUES _ CERTAINLY. THis WAY, Typical parents are those who fear the worst when daughter falls in love with a worthless kid as her mother did. ONE CORNER OF IT, —= | Te KEEP Ny PRECIOUS UNINTELLIGIBLE MacDonald—Hoot mon! Casey—Hoot yourself! D'ye think Oi'm a dommed owl? — Capper’s ‘Weekly. The fellow who once had a $40 saddle on a $20 horse now has a $60 horn on a second-hand flivver. Ah, well; there also seems to be considerable- indulgence. in - other things prohibited several years longer. SKIN AND ALL Barber—Will you have anything on your face when I've finished; sir? Victim—Well, it hardy seems likee ly.—Capper’s Weekly. Observing only one percentage of black sheep in your community; swallowing the .wild partisan’s asser- tion that all sheep are black else- where.—Americanism. TRAINING A BORE Thirty minutes of study each day DID I ? Say, WEN ECALLED TSE THIS FELLOW, WE LOOKED PRETTY Gloomy, WELL,I OFFERED HIM $75 AND, Boy, OU OUGHT TSEEN “THE WAYS WE TOOK ME UP!’ WEY WANTED $100 4 MONTH E TOLD THEM (TWAS ne WO HIGH T FGURED $80 MARRIED LIFE 1S St eden FOUND ONE PLACE THAT's au HEE THEN I CALLED THEM UP, A COUDLE OF DAYS LATER , LIKE 1 WAS SOMEONE ELSE AND OFFERED THEM $55 - \NOULD BE A BARGAIN..S0 I | [THEN I WROTE A LETTER SAYING MAD MY WIFE GO LOOK AT THE | [TD GIVE $65--MY Wire's PLACE OND OFFER THEM SISTER SIGNED THAT. WELL,T $60 WAITED A COUDLE OF DAYS AND TuEY, won't come }f Suoor! DOWN. EH? WELL VLUL TELL YOU WHAT E DID, WHEN E GoT TwS. DLACE a@ except those your friends are inter ested in.—Los Angeles Times. “Punishment is no longer a part of education.” That will be news to the shins of a husband who is learning bridge. Daily Cross-word Puzzle ACROSS: Solution of Vesterday’s Puzzie 2. Short for a 1. Slumbering z mane aime 1. Obliterates Reconstru: [t[oTe[SMMATLle[SPMElLTi oye] , ee [clolR|PlO[RIEIA|LMMRIELFJE|A] 10: Tranagren 16. Parent (ES MER lulsle} 1 One whe | 16. Asiatic 12. European meat ot 0 vt PRU * e % : WAL, Make Me UP THese HERE Essie ‘aN Ber nee i ies LG, Vier e WE SSL . cwttet” | [Blau on teem eattucs|| te uapeen “cactuet the faculties 23. Mathematical ratio 24 AMleasure of oe. HORE to . Having toes 27. Fow! 28. Compound ether 30. Seesaws 32, Makes full again 34. See before- nd hat 51. Cut with 87. Rescued Sclssors 41. Unity 53, A brother of 4% Makes brown Odin 44 Assumed char 54, Sitting - acter 56, Golf club 45. Sun god 58. Walks 46. Struck a base- 59. Drinking mugs DOWN 48. Moisten 1. Aim bigh 49. Heron 2 Extra parts THA? SANOWICHES, CANDY, 6RINCLE ' DOLLS, ETe - Me SOW: 27. Pronoun 29. Put into ait. erent words 31. Former ruler 33. Exploit 34 Extensive growth of trees te i oo Concerning Solema prom- Two PRESCRIPTIONS! | GOT Two SICK UNS AT MY House! ee: iso %. Island south of 39. Football team Connecticut: 40. Restrains abbr. 43. Dispatches 4 Assam ailee 48 Greek letter worm Hea 5. Organs of ame 7 oeariny 52, Dessert e“*) 6. Former U. 8. 55. From the sign: senator from mus. abbr. ‘i 2 New York state 67. Six =i" By Martin |°