The Bismarck Tribune Newspaper, March 25, 1931, Page 10

THE BISMARCK TRIBUNE, WEDNESDAY, MARCH 25, 1931 5 anit —¥ “Good morning, ma'am. I'm demonstrating this little can opencr which will absolutely modernize your home.” HOw! Benny Holzman’s contribution for today deals with the Irishman and the dialecticlan who were co-workers in a Canadian lumber camp. They slept on adjoining cots. One*cold night the heeb awoke, complaning of the chilled blasts. “why don’t you take my blanket?” said his Irish pal. e © “Den wot will you do?” asked th herring murderer. ply.—Walter Wincheell in the Daily ‘Mirror. “A good example of chaos,” remark- ed Brun, as he seated himself in the quick lunch room. “Just listen to the crash - bang - rattle behind those swinging doors that lead into the chap that brings the order out of it. i If they yearn to be rich without labor, thin without dieting and wise without studying, they are typical Americans. Hating the thought of a censorship; bringing it ever nearer by patronizing smut.—Americanism. STRIKING RECEPTION “what struck you on your first visit to Chicago?” “A bullet. as in the hospital for eight weeks.”—Boston Transcript. “['ll break your nose!” was the re-| kitchen.” “Chaos is right,” agreed his friend Schweiger. “And our waiter is the) _ NOW YOU TELL ONE EQUESTRIAN BALANCE F. W. writes—“The problem these days is to keep our horse sense in line with our horse power.”—Detroit News. Don't boast of your virtue until you have given it a trial where the neigh- bors weren't watching. KEEPING IN DARK Dear Old Lady (to young girl com- ing out of night club—I wonder, young lady, what your father would say if he saw you here at this time of night? “Probably,” said the sweet young thing, e would say, ‘don’t tell mother.’ "—Tit-Bits. Dr. Butler says thinking is the |most unpopular of all amusements. \'The reason, perhaps, is that people can indulge in the others without | snoring. FAIR WARNING | Young men in love are urged to ‘close the contract this June if posst- ble, now that Niagara Falls is falling | down.—Detroit News. WHEN IT STOPS Apparently all some drivers know |about a car is that it will stop on im- | pact.—Washington Star. | You can tell the winter resort dis- jtricts. They are the ones that are | kicking about the winter. HIS ALIBI “Tm surprised that you get such The more dads we see giving their children a better opportunity than tunity poor marks in spelling, my son.” | “Well, you see, daddy, it isn't my they had, the less we think of oppor-| fault. The teacher don’t spell words |the same as I do.”—Chicago News. ACROSS | Daily Cross-word Puzzle | Solution of Yesterday’s Puzzle 12, Tenable ae ee 208 aa [48 Ja90 or ey 2S 8 1. Roman date + ee 5. Swiss moun- [eTo|T MMR le [01 [P MES[0|o holding 9. Cut off AINIAMMEIM(! [R[S MMP IEIA] 20. scariet BerBcdily PIE[R[! MMUIS[EMMAI'IAIY] 3: Esrmest 37. Plural ending A|S|S HMB NAP |T #8, pethnet ume 18. artifice WIEMMOJP|t [NJE[R|SIMIN|O] 27. Location Bt Noteotme [1 (D/A MME [SIT MRI |S /E[R wreeth seale 22. Sober Dit {s|i IN[rle[Rle|S|Tlel0| 3: Lecce ove. 34, Heated EILIAIN|DMEGIAIS MEE |D|E ‘mental cane compart- dlestick ee ace NIE FIEIR|RIE(T|ISMBY|R| 31 arene ; Pronoun, PIE (RIE|A MES (KIY 34, Reclines Unaepirates PIO[O[RMMA[T/S Mm! [o|wiA] *® Merry, . Top cards 6. ; Golt “mounds oe epee RIO|W] 3 Foreussion, Huge ‘waves be rental ap aly JG0 39. yacerated a poet 34. Teller of 61. Wooden pro- DOWN gives untruths peller 1 Frozen des- 46. Subject to 35. Soul 52. First part of serts death 37. Within the day 2 Quantity of 41. Take ven- 38. Those having 53, Foundation of medicine geance supreme ‘modern %. Comparative 48. Ducklike birds ao, enn business «RE of the rail 41; Idolizes 56, Siberian river herrings 0. low 43. Adherent of 57. Blast on @ 6. Partofa 50. Plane surface the Crown orn wooden pul- 6&2. Low tufted 44. Entire amount 58. Noticed ley block 45. Australian 59. Opposite of 25 6. Confederate birds across general 48. Mud 60 Forest 1. Parent 41. Brother of Bind 8%. Bondmen Cain 62. Reducing to ® 9%. One of the rf. 48. Shellfish mean British 58 Dry 49. Satellite 65. Beach Isles 61. ain measure 50. One of the 66. Draw together 10. Guided 63. Oi ‘beads of 67. Lohengrin's 11, On condition rosary wife that SB JS8Ea I id WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR EXPENSES ARE FOR A YEAR ® How BO You SPEND YOUR INCOME _? ON- I'D SAY ABOUT THIRTY PER.CENT FOR KEEPING UP THE OLD SHACK- INCLUDING ANDY ¢ s You OUGHT To b BE RICH WITH ALL THE MONEY You've HAD — But “THAT WELL = THEY SAY Apps UP . TO MONEY TALKS ~ 125 PERGENT=, BUT IT HAS NEVER YET BORED ME WITH ITS CONVERSATION PERCENT FOR _ AMUSEMENT= 4 caer ® y NOTHING DOING. 1 OON'T LET ME THINK - WHEN ‘VE GOT TO STAND Fe/ 1 DON'T KNOW WELL, LOOKS PEOPLE GET THROUGH WITH IN. WITH HIM, MAYBE I] HIM BUT 1. BETCHA SELL TO BONS YOUR AGE UKE mara HELL LET ME GET = 1 CAN GET AND | KNOW NOUR LETTERS THEY THROW ‘EM IN e SEEDS TO THINK UP A SOME POSTMARKS OFF THE WAST STE BASKET, THEN IN THE ENVELOPES. THAT BIG FLAT BUILDING OVER THERE f THE JANITOR GETS EM. HE MUST GET LOTS OF ‘EM. NICKEL CIGAR NOuve GOT SUST A MINUTE, Precis ! AWAIT... IT THINIE MAYBE You 1S SOMETIMES MORE ALERT THAN : AN OLD MIND. AND ALLOWING THE BOY To STAY MéHT HELP SOINE THIS MYSTERY A LOT NNHILE HE EXPLAINS, TO Jogrective STECLe THE AysTeRIoUs $ DIGAPPEARANCE ‘OF WIS ‘prize RUBY... You, Never Can Tell! By Blosser | H1T'S SIMPLE. YOU PICK OUT Do Kou DO THE NEIGHBORHOOD “YOU ITE CANT | NANT “TO LAVE (N BND “THEN Just FIND A TRING / WALK THE STREETS UNTIL YOu SEE FOR WHAT WE ( A RENT SIGN, BEFORE ANYONE CAN AFFORD. \ ELSE DOES --THAT'S THE WAY 1 I'VE BEEN | FOUND OUR PLACE ENERY PLACES YM DASHING OUT To A TEA, BIG BOY, AND I'LL ASK ENERYONE AND MAYBE SOMEBODY THERE Witt KNOW OF A PLACE THAT'S VACANT OP caer (un Q GEORGE WASHINGTON, [AH AIN'T DONE HUM? WELL, GeoRce are] WORK FOH. ABOUT KOU “THE ONE WHO CUT, Tw t DOWN AW CHERRY TREE? NO,Sud, At AIN'T OU: GU22 15 A Good sxate! HE'S DON’ HIS (T Tow ov {||-He Jon as PORTER, EH BIT Toward RELIEVING UNEMP! MENT: oken, sie! witetS our —— SS Name? Ville Jad WELL THERES ONE RICE THING NT \F YR EXER RON vag