The Bismarck Tribune Newspaper, March 21, 1931, Page 16

‘I can't remember the piece she wanted—something about a fellow in love.” | NOW YOU TELL ONE | A GOOD BOOK Clerk: ‘This book costs only fifty cents, but it makes you die of laugh- ter. Customer: Tl take it—it’s just the book for my mother-in-law.—Tit- Bits. TALE OF HUNGER Sportsman: Yes, I was 24 hours without food and then I was forced to cut the tail off my poor dog and eat} it. That saved us. Friend: Us? Who was with you? “The dog. He ate the bone.— Moustique, Charleroi. DIDN'T MAKE MUCH “I'm a self-made man.” said the pugnacious clubman., glaring around the room in the midst of an argu- ment. “Sir.” said one of the older mem- bers, “we accept your apology."—Tit- Bits. THE SURE SIGN Jimmy: I bet you didn't have a good time at, your birthday party yes- | terday. Percy: Oh, yes I did. Then why ain't you sick Jim: today ?—Pathfinder. If they keep on reviving old fash- toned games, playing the stock mar- ket may again become popular. ‘The baby carriage business shows a sharp decline. Does that mean the tariff is negligent in its support of in- fant industries?—The Pathfinder. Social Worker—Do you believe in the transmogrification of souls? Fisherman—No. I likes ‘em fried 'n the reg'lar way. ‘Teacher — Now, Johnny, what did) Caesar exclaim when Brutus stabbed} him? Johnny—Ouch!—The Pathfinder. | | | She: Did you ever love another |girl like you do me? | He: I should say not. I would be |broke if I did—Pathfinder. | America is getting two-car consci- ous except for those pedestrians who ‘are unconscious. And now it looks as if winter has ‘gone midget, too!—The Pathfinder. | Cal Coolidge claims to be champion chocolate maker of Northampton — |there never was any doubt as to the excellence of his coco. When the baseball training sched- ules start appearing in the papers spring can’t be far behind—The Pathfinder. If the General Butler incident does j nothing but discourage after-dinner speaking it will have been of great | service to the public. A well known writer says this coun- try should adopt as its slogan, “Amer- ica for Americans.” Yes, but not too much of America for too few Amer- icans!—The Pathfinder. Daily Cross-word Puzzle ACROSS 1. Establishes by evidence 7. Forms 13. Return 14. Cylindrical 15. Black bird 16. Divided 18 Japanese coin 19. Lacerate 20. Egyptia: iv CYLy 24. Deputy 27, From the sign: mus. abbr. 28. Italian river mouths 28. Down: prefiz 49. Plural ending 41. Redacts 4% Siberian river 44. Seasoning 46. Expression 54. Japanese ‘admiral 55. Ate away 56, Closed tghtiy ty ot 59. Witheraw DOWN ee ot 1 Supplicated et 3 Becomes Siture % Sheepiike Solution of Yesterday's Puzzle {t [RIA INJE| BOOGUEEO BoOooOas {s| ONG ao 12, Sober 12. Bucket IT. 25, Acrit Od oF ritorm long ste] Pronounce hol; 45. Nimble ai. Grant terrte to a. Pergonial ry St. Steal Southern com- 5&2. Feminine stellation name 10, Household ‘anima’ UL Everlasting: French FRECKLES) O° MAN Hector Lives.-HE TOLD { AND HIS FRIENDS MAN |SET AN EXAMPLE FOR TH’ cA REST OF THESE THOUGHT LESS THE ¢ BISMARCK TRIBUNE, SATURDAY, MARCH 21, 1931 ir ALL DEPENDS ON TOM CARR] WF ONIS TIP WAS RIGHT | MIGHT BE SAVED YET = MY LAST PIECE OF JEWELRY \S PAWNEB~ 1} PUT EVERY DOLLAR | COULD GET IN TOM CARR STOCK = ALL 1 HAVE LEFT IS A FEW PENNIES To BuY GROCERIES- HE SAID NIS BUSINESS WAS BOOMING — AND YHAT ANYONE INVESTING IN HIS STOCK WOULD MAKE A OF A DOG ARE WE GOIN’ TO GET, UNCLE WALT? ONE OF THESE MONGRELS THAT THEN'VE BEEN IT WILL HAVE A PEDIGREE. Vs COMING. ALONG AT THE FACTORY ? - BUT IT WON'T GE & BRINGING AROUND. |" THE GUMPS— A LIGHT AHEAD HELLO, TOM DEAR = THIS '8 HENRIETTAS HOW I$ THE COLD’? I’M WORRIED ABOUT You - } wiSN YOU WOYLD TRY THAT OLD FASNIONED REMEDY | TOLD YoU ABOUT = You'D BE WELL BY THIS TIME — AND BY THE WAY ~ HOW I$ EVERYTHING WE SAYS ~ HIS STOCK I8 BOOMING = GOING To THE SKIES —. BIG THINGS ARE HAPPENING = WOULDN'T Ir BE WONDERFUL IF | MADE -QH- } MUST OODLES AND OOBLES OF MONEY ~ AND COULD PAY SCOOGE MYSELF OUT OF THE PROFITS= ~~ THEN ! WOULD BE INDEPENDENT AGAIN = PERHAPS MARRY TOM= CHEER UP— HENRIETTA= BETTER. DAYS ARE COMING= [IT CAN'T ALWAYS RAIN= NO MATTER HOW BLACK AND § CLOUDY = IF ONE CAN Live >) TILL TOMORROW — : THE DARKEST BAY WILL NAVE PASSED AWAY = ALL THOSE BIG DEALS, YOU WERE EAs WELL- ISN'T THAT i GRAND — ON- TOM- MW SO PROUD T'S SOMETHING THAT TELLS ALL ABOUT NOUR ANCESTORS. ae: PEDIGREE, ISNT SHE? , YEAU.WES A DETECTIVE AN’ TIM GOING To SHOW HIM WHERE POP SOMETHING OF HEcToR'S DISAPPEARED NYSTERIOUSLY AN’ HE'S GOING “To TRY AN’ SOUTH AND MATCH WEIGHTS Wits GLADYS $ YOU'LL RUN HENE CH SEAT, LAOW FRECKLES, HERE, WILL SHON You WHERE HECRR'S * HOUSE IS...I KNow HE'D LIKE % 6ET A Loon aT HIM, AS VERY Few PEOPLE IN THIS TowN EVER Saw WELL, IE OUD TAKE OFF A FEW PUCKERS, IN Your WAST-LINE ,1T WOULDNT HURT MOUR LOOKS ANY - OW, THANK ONE RARELY MEETS ou, stat WITH SUCH GALLANTRY “HEse Das -oOu are _a PeReecT GENTLEMAN! So ee WEIL DAN! YO 16 = FoLs “OseD VEE PURFECTIY Wun’ Yo WA: TWA AUTOS HAPPENED -- BUT ROW, FED DEY AIN'T FAST TWATS AN, IDEA<I GHT FOOL MY SUBLIC AND SUBTRACT A FEW YEARS BY GETTING A PERMANENT WINE AND SHINING MUSTACHE SHORT ACcQUuAIN— TANCE, LADY, | OoN'T SEE HOW YG vou KNOW A a PERFECT, ITLEMAN: SRNERED WOERE “Wert SOMEWAAN ELSE -~ AN! WATT Go0D’S WT DOIN’ EM ZANSWAN ME DAT --PonAW ! oEn’s PLENTY OF “WME -~ W'S OE OSE OF SRUIN’ WES WORTH... RATED To HANE ONE OF « THE FINEST COLLECTIONS OF Rape STONES IN THIS COUNTRY... AND = OONT THINK GEM CRooKS HEY, Pop! iF YOU SHANE OFF Your MUSTACHE , WHAT WILE HOLD WouR NOSE BOT AT LEAST, YO DOESNT HAVE To SCRAMBLE ROUND, HORRYIN’ Torr BACK -~ NO SAR BOY ,WO'S RICHY