The Bismarck Tribune Newspaper, March 3, 1931, Page 10

7. ee SRARSEST ALPSSES Steg ees se THE BISMARCK TRIBUNE, TUESDAY, MARCH 3, 1931 ©1931 BY NEA SERVICE, INC. ‘REG. U. S. PAT. OFF. “You go on to bed, paw; I'm going to wait and see what they serve for refreshments.” | NOW YOU TELL ONE | LIGHT “Nightly the moon tells the world lovely tales of romance,” says a sum- mer hotel circular. And daily the sun comes out and calls it a liar.—Life, NO CHANGE “Bishop Cannon Exonerated by Commitee of Pastors,” says a news- paper headline. But he’s still Bishop Cannon.—Life. ‘THE HOUSES OF USHER Due to a shortage of commissions, 260 members of the senior class at Annapolis will have to resign from the navy on graduation, unless relief is afforded by congress or by the Roxy or Paramount theatres.—Life. People who live in glass houses must be tired of reading funny para- graphs about themselves. — Every- body's Weekly. “Your son in college ordered these photographs from me.” “Ah, yes. Well, well, they certain- ly look very like him, very like. Has he paid for them?” “No, sir, he has not.” “Hum-m-m. Still more like him.” —Boston University Beanpot. Mary Pickford says that if she hai her life to live over again she would not be a moving picture star and would shun a career. The delicates- sen dealers had a word for it.—New York Evening Sun. COITAINLY A new seventeen-story apartment | house is being erected in Brooklyr. | No doubt it will be heated by erl- boiners. FORESIGHT Congress has appropriated $45,000.- 200 to keep the farmers from having such a hard time last summer.—Life. it with a girl, how can you tell whéther or not such an injection has any effect?—Life. HERRING, MAYBE It's just idle curiosity on our part, but we often wonder what our Jewish brethren call their bum actors?—Life. SIMILARITY “The Great Pyramid in Egypt,” we read, “weighs six million tons.” In other respects, however, it differs from a portable typewriter.—Life. BAIL OUT THE COUNTRY Colonel Woodcock’s Bureau of Pro- hibition is asking for 500 more field | representatives. The idea seemt to be |to drink the bootleggers out of busi- ness.—Life. A certain African tribe carries on conversation by means of grunts | Over here that sort of thing only hap- jpens at breakfast—London Opinion The vicar had a certain truculent woman parishioner noted for her \fondness for a drop of gin. One day |she went to church hiccupping with |painful distinctness. The parson. bore it for a few moments, then looking at the verger, he exclaimed publicly, “Smith, kindly remove that person from the church.” | Smith rose reluctantly to obey. The congregation held its breath, expect- ing a scene, but to their relief the woman rose and left without a mur- mur. After the service the vicar con- gratulated his verger on the tactful way in which he had removed the cul- prit. “How did you manage it?” he asked. “Well, sir.” said the verger, “I just went to her and whispered: ‘Come on, ma; come out and have one wr me.'"—London Tatler. ALIBI Near Atlanta, Ga., a pig that had been eating mash led some officers to a still. We are told the owner of the still will claim he wes raising pickled pigs’ feet.—Life. Girl is given injection of parrot blood.—News Item. | Daily Cross-word Puzzle | ACROSS Solution of Yesterday's Puzzie (E]RTATTIOMMS|P [RIV MMRIAIGIE OS One 1, Roosted «& Large bundle 8. Serpents 12 Fell into emali 20. Log float 2 Allow the use |. Size of sbor High in the of 28. Support for « fisb Une 24, Comparative washing 28. Bearing a date 30. African ante- pe 30. Collected 35. Performer 36. Rodent 101 #1. Even: contr, 32. Floor covering 38. Beast of bur- 44. In that place leo 34. Piece of cloth {i Disuniting tains 38, Pronoun 62. Stiffly proper 29. Distress signal 53. The basis of 40. Support for good business Dlaster 65. Finds the sum 42. Despise of 66. Vid Icetanaie Russian moun. 87. Scotch river 47; Minera) spring . Wrath writing DOWN L Command toa 49. Masculine cal nickname 2. Irish expletive 69. Divine being 3. Wrestling 54. Egyptian aie playfully vinity Go GET BACK Yo THE STORY— ‘HE WIDOW 'GAVE YHE RING BACK = AND BROKE OFF ‘THE ENGAGEMENT= WOULD MAKE NER FTREME NO OUSLY RICH — FRECKLES] 'T WouLo Have Been S SALESMAN BS TRIBUNE'S PAGE OF COMIC STRIPS AND FEATURES |__| FOR THOSE WHO CAME IN LATE= MONTHS HAVE PASSED SINCE \ HEAVENEYES 18 GAME = SAILOR- AND NO MATTER How BIM PLEADS AND BEGS= SHE REFUSES TO PATCH UP THEIR MISUNDER STANDING = AND BE SWEETHEARTS AGAIN= IN DEBT — PENNILESS — SCOOGE NOT PAID = AND JUST ONE WoRD- YES THE WIFE OF ONE OF THE : WEALYRIE ST MEN = THE GUMPS—THE LONG AND THE SHORT OF IT . 9 TOM CARR WHO SINCE THE NE SHIPWRECKED AMP URRASED A FORTUNE — IDEAL HUSBAND =— SSS WELL, Pop LINGY'S GoING } THATS FINE...OLD ‘To BE ALL RIGHT... GEE, Doc WEBB IG A GOOD VETERINARIAN WELL BRING LINDY AROUND, IF ANYONE AWFUL IF HE HAD BROKEN HIS Leg...00c wees IS TAKING CARE OF HIM, OVER AT His. You Free? He ISN'T IN BUSINESS FoR WIS HEALTH... LINDYS GOING To RUN UP A Nicé poctoR SILL BY THE way, DID Doc NESS OFFER To GIVE HIS SERVICES To SAID HE'D TAKE CARE OF HIM... WASN'T THAT WE'RE MARRIED, LET'S HAVE A TRUTH PARTY! WHAT DID WOOFLES' BIG BOY THINK WHEN HE FIRST SAW HER ? | THING T THOUGHT ~ouR MOP OF HAIR HAD BEEN SOUSED IN A BUCKET OF PEROXIDE War Was (IT? THAT LITTLE car SYouR POP UST BOUGHT 2 (QUIEK SAM, GIMME SomE— N FoR BABY To Take! | S SWALLOWED SOMETHIN. wie OR ZB Ks ct 1000 20 Umm «am 1 staruolll weccee . WHERE'S TH’ NEAREST PLACE Y’EAT «-- 3 GLESS YO BETTER RON INTO TH’ SAN FIRET “THOUGH f WAIT A MINUTE WOOFLES, HONEY, I WAS ONLY TELL} ING THE TRUTH- 1 MEAN ont WAS THAT ALL You SAID ? BOY, vou HAVE A LOT TO LEARN ABOUT WOMEN!! TAKE A ‘TIP FROM * JAN OLD CAMPAIGNER ONLY WHAT YOU, KNOW THEY'D LIKE THEAR ‘CAUSE THEY NEVER WANT THE TRUTH ABOUT T SHE WANTED A TRUTH CARTY AND fh tar Nope’ TH’ BaBY Was PLAYIN!’ HN PK DON AND ee LLOWED A QuaRte 'o BEEN Sauinen Soe A QuarieR , HUH? WELL, JUST Leave tT TT ME, HoRACE! SSS XWESE HONDRED DOLLAR BIS ARE f, i NOULL WANE ‘Yo WNT ,WAE 3 STEP XW SMMAEGT CHANGE 1 AVE A) se OUT FOR A FEW MINUTES ~~ Cony WANE SHE EXACT CHANGE HERE