The Bismarck Tribune Newspaper, February 28, 1931, Page 16

“Now try to remember this some way—if a customer asks to see the overstuffed, call for me.” | NOW YOU TELL ONE THE TOUGHEST JOB Wife (to boxer returning from fight): How did you make out, Bill? Bill: Fine—put ‘im to sleep in the third round. Wife handing son): Good! Well, now you can try your hand on the baby.—Passing Show. him — squawking STOPPED Clerk (hopefully): I have been in your employ twenty-five years today, sir. Chief: Is that so? What a fine elerk you would make if your mem- ory for other things was as good.— Passing Show. HOORAY! “Come along tonight. triple celebration.” “What is it?” “It is our silver wedding anniver- sary. We have paid the last install- ment on our wedding furniture, and we are christening the new furniture that we are purchasing on the hire system and which will be paid for by the time we reach our golden anni- versary."—UIk, Berlin. | PATIENT PAYER “Here's my bill,” said the surgeon. “Wish you would pay down $100 and then $25 a week.” “Sounds like buying an automo- bile,” said the patient. “I am,” replied the surgeon.—Muel- ler Record. That scientist who discovered that ‘me sound could silence another doubtless began by noticing how a} slapping sound silences the sound of | sniffles. The courts rule that a wife has the right to decide for or against babies. We thought the wolf decided it. NOT 80 CRAZY Wifie: If I should die, what would We have a)you do? Hubby: I'd almost go crazy. ‘Wifie: Would you marry again? Hubby: No, I wouldn't go as crazy as that.—Pathfinder. A SHORT STORY “I know the evidence is strongly against my innocence, but I have $50,000 to fight the case.” “As your attorney I assure you that you'll never go to prison with that amount of money.” And he didn't—he went there broke.—Pathfinder. A dislike for part of your country. A man, proud of his education, scorn- ing his brother who had to quit school when the family lost its money.—Sec- tionalism. ‘The relief people say you can save a life in China for $1.90. In America you can do it by jumping six feet. Correct this sentence: “My convic- | tions aren’t influenced,” said the man, “by the fact that I'd | money and friends if I changed them.” Daily Cross-word Puzzle ACROSS Solution of Yesterday’s Puzzle ‘&. Batiates 9. Be of conse. AISITTRINGIATRINMIATOIAIMy ,, suszce BIOIRINIEMMEIL|| IMIUINIAITIE] i Aaa’ O™*® [AIMIEINIOIE|D} RINMIOMT officer 21. Irelana 18. Canvas shelter 19. Annoy TIN] i Wit | 32 Aristo de (EIGIOMMDIAIRIE!| a9. Grest Lax reat, J stoneworts $e Eulled apart 63, wuste drama 42. Fized charge 64. Lean person: 48. Horses Scotch 65. Grate [EIDIE! Alack IREEMIO[T] 12 Bir INJE} 21. aL 2 ENE} 3 60. Family of the 10. Cooking utensils 11 Small valley 1, Outbuildi 2 Mark of omission uy vit & Pertaining to the kidneys 6. Flexible palm stem can enimal Aa dita | * | 7 | ad ied (| Surface capacity * Pe 7 Fy ANDY: @ IVE sUST BEEN RACKING MY BRAIN OVER A LITTLE MATTER — DID | OR DID INOt— BORROW ‘TEN DOLLARS FROM YOU 2 LAST WEEK ¢ FROM, ME ? BoRROW TEN DOLLARS FROM ME @ SPRAIN IN WIS FOOT, BUT. SOME MEDICAL ATMS #evenine. WELL ,coopBre sam! Make ALL TH SALes YA GASOLINE ALLEY—TRY THIS FOR A CHANGE SEE, WE'RE GOING TO WAVE EVERYTHING FROM SOUP TO NUTS! NOW, XOU WATCH THINGS FOR A MINUTE « CAN = ( “THINK THIS LITTLE TRIP OUT IN THE tecy COUNTRY WILL DO MRS.GUZZLEM A WORLO OF GOOD! V ae WELL LOADED DOWN ).OW,OONT TRY, Ge eunny ! = CA BUT | LeeT THe ON-ITE THCKETS TIM @LAD..L CANT HELP CRYIN’ Uve Tus, BuT <{fl OE]