The Bismarck Tribune Newspaper, February 17, 1931, Page 10

T pliments “T'll take some more ‘of that pctato salad. My husband always com- me on it.” ESTABLISH IDENTITY American Legion Monthly: At one the ‘was a young recruit who durir first few weeks of this Army made the victim of so many Army Get FEsrosseessse RRBASASTHRE SSRe their motives. One night while he was pulling his first tour of guard Guty, the tall figure of one of the of our Western military posts there | fe was} jokes that he doubted all men and| - S& regimental officers loomed up in the darkness before him. “Halt! Who's there?” he chal- f Tenged. “Maj. Moses,” replied the officer. The rookie scented another prac- tical joker. “Advance, Moses,” he be said, “and give the Ten Command- m ments.” at If Mrs. McCormick hasn't found th any other kind, she can get a seat on a the stock exchange rather cheap now. o eh PROTECTING THE CANDY gc Old Gentleman: Why putting the muzzle or we brother? ai Tommy: ‘Cause I'm sending him} pi to the store for some candy.—Leeds, M England, Mercury. | W YOU TELL O | ! OUT OF TROUBLE | a Lawyer (paternally, to client anx- ious for divorce): My dear young lady, occasional tiffs are bound to occur in your married life. But think of the joy to be got out of it. | Client: Exactly. Get me out of jit—Hummel, Hamburg. EARNING HIS MONEY | The Pathfinder: Pug Sluggum, on ‘trial for murder, bribed an Irishman. jot the jury with $100 to hold out for a verdict of manslaughter. After being out a long time the jury came back linto court with the desired verdict. |Pug managed to get near the Irish- |man and said, “I'm mighty obliged to |you. Did you have a hard time?” “Yess,” jdivil of a time. to acquit you.” replied the Irishman, “a All the rest wanted ACROSS: Explosive jevice Patiala 8 Solution of Yesterday’s Puzzle ni The real reason why a man objects; The objection to international ar to his wife's little woolly dog is that! beauty contests is that the most per- PB he wishes to be treated as the dog is. fect giraffe look funny to a kanga- —— T00, 6 Why argue about which party will) ss ak save the country? It will b old| PARTISANSHIP M party who say “Well, ma, and} The Pathfinder: “I'll give you $2 in the girls can t spendin’ again.” | for this anecdote about President sc Hoover,” said the editor. pi FOR THANKS “What's the matter with you?” de- EB r: Actual conversa-|manded the writer. “You gave me $4 tion overheard at a Tuesday after-|for that anecdote when it was about M noon bridge club: esident Wilson.” m Mrs. A—Did you and your husban al: attend big football game on} But so many people think they are ; = ng day? ing charitable when they are mere- ‘| di No, w lly buying a dollar's worth of grati- i our cook go. | tude. \ I Correct this ser Doubtless warfare will continue | always been poo until somebody thinks to erect a ‘ ancient bridegro she’ll| mammoth bronze statue of a tax re- spend my money very carefully.” ceipt. B | Daily Cross-word Puzzle . | 2. Cor 10. Eaj fe 4 aye noe ; Biblical : tower t wt 14, Past tie ow 1s, Tropical trait Nf 16. Roman gar- : G ment t v tract of land elt orthwestern ewish month ee ush gently 5 rms with the elbow 31. Old word for 3. Unreclaimed deer fat . Domesticate Distance south of th }» Stallans comb, ‘orm Drive of ot cre osemecedy Savarese eto sD ens” . 3 Came tor {8% Perceive Berner 89. Believer 1n 4. Food staple armed forces 4. Slow 42, Verdant & Decorate 3. Exhanst etre aa & Act of chang> 5 ing the order of HE BISMARCK TRIBUNE, TUESDAY, FEBRUARY 17, 1931 1y BEATS. ME WELL = WHEN } WAS WELL= | WENT ON A DIET NOUNG= HOUSE WORK es CE~ JUST ONCE = YO SEE THE WAY AND FRESH AIR USED YES QicuLb YOU SELIEVE You THE WomMEN YRY To TURN OUT, SOME THEY'RE RUNNING ty FOR EIGHT DAYS < SHOULD TO GET THIN PRETTY GOOD INTO THE GROUND ~ ) LIVED ON ONIONS THESE DAYS — LOOKING GIRLS INSTEAD OF THE GOOD MAVE LIVES OLD HOUSE WORK THAT THEY USED TO BO= IT'S NOTHING 8UT DIET Now BAYS— To GET A PERFECT FIGURE = THEY'LL STOOP Jo ANYTHING}. ARE CRAZY ABOUT POSTMARK COLLECTING, HAS IT STRUCK YOU TOO, AVERNE EXACTLY AS A HOBSEY, WALT. COME wit WELL! Tey FIX PEOPLES ~ LESS WHEN THEYRE BRoxeH,- So Wy CANT THey FIX oS A PON'S LEG FF i Hey, Mere! put YOUR GUN AWAY... : AN’ BESIDES, How Do Sou know If Ts A HiME 1 WAVE BROKEN LEG? PUT ANYTHING TO |, SAY ABouT IT! NOW, UNDER THESE CIRCUMSTANCES, GENTLEMEN, MY ADVICE 1S THAT OU BURY THE HATCHET AND, HUM, *OU GENTLEMEN, 1 GLEAN, ARE HERE ON THE SAME CASE? WELL, POP HAS SUST ACQUAINTED ME WITH THE S— THE TWO PARTIES IN THIS MARRIAGE OF THEIR OWN FREE WILL. ISN'T THAT RIGHT 2 1 KINDA “ui } (KOU VE OWED HIM FoR THAT SUIT OU'RE WEARING, FoR OVER Two ‘cars! Awe DOCTOR 1S BUSY WITH AQ PATIENT JUST NOW — Take A SEAT IN HERE | @NO Watt WOUR TURN Ess~™! I'LL 00) (Now “HEN, WHOS BEEN THAT UTTLE WAITING- THE LONcesT = SALESMAN SAM Be Patient, Sam! = “> <q pr <a> <p bid Y |