The Bismarck Tribune Newspaper, February 14, 1931, Page 16

“He wanted to know how he'd recognize us, so I told him I'd be wearing the white flower.” | NOW YOU TELL ONE | SPENDTHRIFTS i Judge: Jake—You and your wife Patch up your quarrels yet? Ben—We don’t patch ’em up. We get new ones. Our janitor is down with a bad cold. Well, we warned him that he'd catch a chill sitting too near that furnace. ‘When a Scotchman keeps a muz- zle on a dog it's meal time. “The public is more ignorant about medicine than any other science,” Says one of the Mayo Brothers. Well, it certainly isn't because we've never been told about operations. THAT'S THE REASON ‘Tommy had handed in his home- swork and the teacher examined it} closely. “Tommy,” he said, “this looks very much like your father's writing. ‘What have you got to say?” “Well, teacher,” said Tommy after a long pause, “now I come to think) of it, I used his fountain pen.”—Tit-' Bits. | QUIT IT! Too much wheat and too much} lumber, Too much steel our mills encumber, Too much cotton, too much corn, ‘Too much clothing to be worn. Too +much credit (here's funny), Even too much ready money! Too much copper, too much cow, ‘That they say's the trouble now. what's Too much waiting, chicken-hearted, For the rest to get things started. Too much knocking, day by day, ‘Too much doubting the U. S. A. When we ought to start the move- ment. | Too much waiting for improte-| ment— | ‘Too much brake instead of clutch, | Of that a gol-darned sight too| much, —Boston Transcript. ‘WORSE YET TO COME Mr@ Smith heard a man ascending the apartment stairs late at night and, supposing it to be her husband, opened the door and administered a severe thrashing. “Good heavens!” she cried at last, ‘you're not my husband! You're the tenant on the next floor! I'm aw- fully sorry!” “Yes, and you ought to be!” re- plied the victim. “Now I'll have to go through all that again.”—Tit-Bits. VERY YOUNG “What is wrong with this soup? It appears to be nothing but water.” “That is what the chef calls young chicken soup, sir.” “Young chicken soup? Never heard of it. What does he mean?” “That was the water the eggs were boiled in.”—Answers. A GOOD LIVING “How does that young man live?” “By his pen.” “Does he write much?” “Only letters home.”—Vart Hem, Stockholm. Football scandals and night foot- ball remind us of something spoken jlong ago concerning men who love |darkness rather than light. | : Daily Cross-word Puzzle ACROSS 1. Faucet 4 Lieto warmth Fly” aloft 19, Nolidiged te ights 2% Lubricant 28. W IN AISIT| SITIE] ae: Eacaiiy » Equal 33 Myself” 3%. Melody 36. Ignited 87, Sailor 38. Pory 40, Head cover. ny 45, Troe 46 Composition for one 42, Saltpeter 50, Great Lake #2, Roman gar- ment 64. In what way 55, Dispatched 5 Wint Solution of Yesterday's Puzzle on words Is RIES Fr Years of one's R D 36, Poot 1, Twitebing ie Stops 2 War aviator fs: ree a Seine, dee ¥ 4. Trickless band at bridge bates iw FE sheep jazed fixedly 61. At a point ine 7. Asiatic penia- sae” a le 53. Depart ¥ OH MIN! 4 1S THE WIDOW ZANDER GONE YET? “WHAT WAS ALL TNE FUSS ABour ? WHAT! WAS, SHE TRYING JO TELL You ? WHAT IN BLAZES CAN ANYBODY’ WANT - RINGING MY DOORBELL BEForRe DAYLIGHT IN THE MORNING 2 NOTOREYCLE Cop! GEE... THIS IS Luck !! SOMETHING'S HAPPENED ‘T LINDY... COME AND SEE IF You CAN HELP US ouT? (JosT MADE & DENT IN CO SALESMAN] GANKROLL! FIETY BUcKs SAM BOOTS AND BUDDIES Oh! Ont | FOR. A RAILROAD TickeT cHicacol om S00 IER ® OM SHE WAS TELLING ME ABOUT THE DREAMS SHE NAS— SHE SAYS.= SHE HASN'T BEEN ABLE YO GET A WINK OF SLEEP FOR THE LAST TWO WEEKS — SIHINKING ABOUT HER FuR COATS’ = -GASOLINE ALLEY—TEN YEARS AGO TODAY ny F BILL'S CAR HAS Got STAUED' SOMEWHERE AND HE WANTS ME TO PULL HIM our HE'S OUT’ JOKE “TLL SHOW ’EM ‘YOu SAY HE WAG FINE, BeroRe perenne STRUC. ING HMM... LOOKS YES, He 16... LIKE He's SITTING Downs, 5 oor 9 Now , u ]] THEM KNOW, SO * WEY WON'T AND IF-ITS. SOMEBODY'S EVERY: NIGHT WHEN SHE RETIRES ALL. THE ANIMALS: WHOSE FURS: SHE IS WEARING ~ CONGREGATE AROUND HER BED ~, AND. HAUNT HER SO. SHE ‘= CAN'T SLEEPS SNE CERTAINLY WOULDN'T LET A COUPLE OF