The Bismarck Tribune Newspaper, February 7, 1931, Page 16

“Ask him if he won't read this letter and see how much my last employer regretted losing my services.” , | NOW YOU TELL ONE NOT SO GOOD “Daddy, why is mummy singing Sike that?” “She's singing baby to sleep.” “Will she stop when babys’ alseep?” “Yes.” “Then why doesn't baby pretend to he asleep?”—Answers. \ A HAPPY THOUGHT | Judge: The witness says you raced} past on your motorcycle as quick as thought. | Accused: Yes, I knew him in| school—he always thought very slow- ly.—Fliegende Blaetter, Munich. H HONK, HONK! An Englishman on a visit to the western United States, decided to go} horseback riding. The man in charge | asked him: “Do you prefer an Eng-| lish saddle or a Western?” “What's the difference?” “The western saddie has a horn,” replied the attendant Hl “J don't think I'll need the horn,”) replied the Englishman. “TI don't in- tend to ride in heavy traffic.”"—Tit- Bits. | ee i THE DOCTOR'S OUT “How fortunate,” said the motoris: | to the man who lay under the front 1 . “that we knocked you down a doctor's house.” “Yes.” replied the man, oF “I'm the doctor." —Tit-Bits. TOO WILLING Jinks: My wife thought she heard burglars last night, and I went straight downstairs to investigate. Binks: How could you be so posi- tive she was mistaken?—Tit-Bits. DRY AS THE DESERT Welfare Worker: My man, was it Your craving for drink that brought | you here? Prisoner: Do I look the kind of a $001 who'd mistake this hole for a} saloon?—Lustige Blaetter, Berlin. GOODBYE FOREVER Master: Mary, I left my pocket- book with $50 in the pocket of my dress suit last night—have you seen it anywhere? Maid: No sir. your clothes away. Mas ‘Where is she now? Maid: She went out shopping in a hurry, sir—Passing Show. * ‘The missus put GOOD BUSINESS “Why 1s it that you encourage all of your clerks to get married?” “Well, I find that married men are not in such an awful rush to get home early as the single ones.” — Hummel, Hamburg. TAXITIS “I hear Dick is in the hospital.” “Yes. Caught in the rain and tried to economize by not taking a taxi. Now he’s got pneumoni: “And Tom’s in the hi , . “Yes. He took a taxi.”—Tit-Bits. MORE DESIRABLE Palmist: I see a tall, handsome man prostrate before you. Mrs. Perkins, (interruptingly): 1 wish you could see my lodger, a little bow - legged man, paying his bill— Tit-Bits. Daily Cross-word Puzzle | ACROSS L Maddie & Precious stone & California AIL 1% Durkish title Of respect + Solution of Yesterday’s Puzzle 14, Unseal 15. Dramatic rep- resentation 18. Monkeys 18. Obstraction 20, Withered 22. Night before 4. Snare 27. Chiet 2& Roman god of the Underworld 29, Nobleman 80. High in the musieal seale the zodiac 26. Dash water about ee see 3. A Mont 01 31. My: Italian 2. Oriental ship LIMES Exes 9 ESREy 37, in lows 38, Bow of & ts a0. Ripple against Sf: 5 jo against 40; Punetuation 2: 81 a 4% Floor for loading ore in a mine 1, Month of the year: Freneb swiftly 47. Mountains comb, form Downward 4. Pereolated phyxiated a Jen @aal a God VM WORRIED, ABOUT GOLIATH = Ee EDS aon OF DIET OME TH ae OF WONDER IF. THE MILIC WE GET AGREES With SN WSS IMPRISONING PRECKLES, AND LINDY... DON'T SE RIDICULOUS CHICK 1S UPSTAIRS IN pe oRDEet SALESMAN] act “Wese. DIAMONDS EROM SouTH AFRICA S 4 Wn . WHAT. WERE THE DOCTORS ORDERS? WHAT DID NE SAY ? THF GUMPS—POOR GOLIATH ¥ WELL~ You KNOW wary y <THE poeTOR SAY8= [J You KNOW WHAT HIS Eo ORDERS WARE © 10 HE SAD if THE BABY DOES NOT THRNNE ON FRESH MILK < BE BOILED /g I eUEse WE WEQE FOOLISH TO START For JIMTOwN ! SOMEEoDY ELsE Has ‘ we : BEATEN MET (Ths *S show em Pura ||| PUTA SEMEN OUR S@NE IN “he WINDOW! WINDOW — Lid drow © 1 vont sz mom |Z Tag |: