The Bismarck Tribune Newspaper, January 30, 1931, Page 10

set hs ‘SR EMEOHR® UROSSsms RMHeS UcuRes Hae saSbave — a te Re Rah ALO * found two shovels, several novels THE BISMARCK TRIBUNE, FRIDAY, JANUARY 30, 1931 ee “I wonder if that fellow over there is trying to flirt with wus.” TRIBUNE'S PAGE OF COMIC STRIPS AND FEATURES _ NOW YOU TELL 0; SPEAKING OF OPERATIONS Chet Johnson in Judge: “That was a wonderful case you handled over in Elm street last week, George.” “Tut-tut, Edwin, that was nothing. One of the simplest operations I've ever had. Merely a slight gaseous condition. We made one_ incision, tied up the traffic for a few hours, and that was all.” “T handled a similar case not long ago in Filbert avenue, George. But it was more stubborn. Compound ad- hesions of the water main. And we nearly lost that case, too. A few minutes more and it would have burst.” “Did I ever tell you, Edwin, of my last operation in Buena Vista boule- vard? Apparently there was nothing | wrong. But after a diagnosis we de- cided to take a look at the main tele- phone artery. We probed without success. Then we made a ten-foot incision, and, will you believe it, the artery was not where it should have been!” “Not on the left side, George?” “And not on the right side, either! We operated both places! I tell you, were pretty puzzled. Then one of assist en it out three months ago!” ‘All that bother and suspense for net eh?” - i isn't all, Edwin. A few day I looked for my cable snip- pers and a small con mixer and find them. It was a danger- to do, of course—the incis- completely healed y “They were, Edwin. And we @ pinochle deck that the last crew had left behind!” Jf he keeps the waiter waiting while he adds the bill, the lady with him \s his wife. ants recalled that we'd tak- | “We must eliminate the cause of crime.” But you can't kill parents just because they haven't any sense. HOW TO ENFORCE PROHIBITION San Diego Union: Under the terms of a will, a Texas man has just been awarded $1,900,000 for staying sober five years. If the government really wants to enforce prohibition, there's a good suggestion. HARD ON DAD Capper’s Weekly: Visitor—"Well, well, Jimmy, you surely are growing up into a little man, and just like |your father.” Jimmy—“Yes, that’s what Ma says she's afraid of.” Don’t sneer-at the extravagance of |the rich. The more carelessly the seed is scattered, the more there is | for the birds. - STRIVING TO PLEASE | Gapper's Weekly: Diner—An egg | boiled not too soft and not too hard. Waiter—Anything else, sir? Diner— Yes, some toast, not too j hard but well browned. | Waiter—Any special design on the china? | Whether a man is satisfied with jhis lot in life seems to depend on | what it’s a lot of. CIGARS BURN He: We're coming to a tunnel—are you afraid? She: Not if you take that cigar out of your mouth.—Tit-bits. DID SOUND STRANGE Heavyweight: Yes, my opponent had to be taken to the hospital with |@ broken nose, two black eyes, a twisted shoulder-blade, and a frac- tured jaw. | Friend: Oh, did he have a row | with the referee?—Tit-Bits. | Daily Cross-word Puzzle ACROSS 1. On the highest point of I 5. Imitators t 10, Word of tam- entation 34. Ardent affee- thon 16. Danger Solution of Yesterday's Puzzle 18, DI 2%. American com- poser 24, Exist 25. Bind 26. Body joint 2. 19th letter ed 40. Disease of rye 42. Part of s play 43. Shy ®t ha Hi BB ARG Jane Adee Ae AO ee viee 33. Seed covert AIT! 3: Interprets archale 36. Little ebiidren 48. Old Erened ritative dried bries 6 5 walt 6 State positives 64. 7 and is ahi sd a call a ae Mid A a? PPT 25 13 fA THE GUMPS—HAND IT TO MIN ; pauiace ec] AND SHE SHOULD — . WELL— SNE CERTAINLY SHE ISN'T GOING TO LET. YOU GET UP Itt FRONT PICKED ON ME Foo. OF A LOT OF YOUR FRIENDS— AND MAKE A LAST NIGHT — iy WELL ~ IF YOUR WIFE DIDN'T ERITICIZE You ONCE IN AWHILE - WNERE WOULD YOU BE ? SHE WON'T STAND FOR YOUR FOOLISHNESS — h AND \7'S FOR YOUR OW! l) DOES T= AND YOU SHOULD APPRECIATE IT — OF YOURSELF - AB YOU DID LAST NIGHT — AND LEY YOU GET BY WITH [T= . NOT YOUR WIFE = SHE WON'T TOLERATE (T= SHE HAS PRIDE— AND SHE'LL KEEP You ON AND NARROW PATH= 1F IT 15 Wide rows POWER — MIN 18 ONE IN A THOUSAND— THIS MACHING NEEDS A New TUBE BEFORE RIGHT ABOUT MN PROFILE. I'VE GOT TO TAKE (T OFF BV BXCERCISE. SPRING TO THIS THING 1S o Mts Rag. U.S, Pat. OM. ; Copyright. 1931, by The Cineago Tribume. ANHY, I JUST HAPPENED To HINK-THERE IS No WAY TO HITCH HIM TO [Troe “THAT ISN'T SO T TELYou WHAT TLL 00...TLL 6eT A SET OF SHAFTS FoR YouR SLED... THEN Youll. HAE A REAL ouTrit # (Bow! LinDY wnt Looe | 6REAT, HITCHED UP TO FRECKLES THAT SWELL SLED You AND HIS | GAVE To us, FRIENDS \_2!L2Y!! RILEY DOESN'T Do THINGS HALF WAY..= Boy! WoULonT HE MAKE A FINE DAD FOR Some Kip‘! 6ce! you WouLoNT Hine T 0 THaT, RILEY...\WwE'D Ger ALONG WITHOUT "ENN, SOME WAY... “LooK, CHICK, LOOK! MERC'S A NOTE MOM’N For vou! POP WHAT DOES IT Say, CHICK? WHY, Tat customer (Ss Gooey AND SO ARE “YOU. Tom saWwYeRm (S GY MARK TWAIN AND HE WROTE | THe STHER ONE, TO! HEN You “To Saviner | SALESMAN| OY HUSKLEGERRY FUN’? SAM wee!) sosT Ae T THOUEHT «2067 BOOTS HE YODHONTER CHECK, AS 1 THOUGHT I! AND Th WAGER AND HER| xoo asked For , siz ; 2