The Bismarck Tribune Newspaper, January 16, 1931, Page 10

“J don’t wish to seem too severe with tardy students—I realize that many of you are forced to park six or eight blocks away.” | NOW YOU TELL ONE MIN] ‘THERESE A LITTLE ARTICLE THERE ABOUT WOMEN'S CLOTHES You SHOULD READ — Ny SAYS THEY'RE GOING TO WEAR THEM LONGER THIS YEAR — 7 Wow Wit THAT EFFECT MET Y ie You EXPECY ME Yo WEAR : MY _DRERRES ANY LONGER = CERTAINLY ! VL HAVE TO HAVE THEM READ IT= 5 {V's RIGHT HERE BEFORE MY EYES = WAVE AND HAVE THEM ‘YO! HO! MR. RIPLEY The Pathfinder: You can rent, but never own, land in Baltimore. Enrico Caruso’s canned voice still earns $150,000 a year. And every three years they change the suit on the dead tenor’s corpse. Jumping a hotel bill is not an ex- traditable offense in New York state. An American tourist who spent two weeks on a steamship on the Volga river in Russia says he never once heard the “Song of the Volga Boat- man.” A hen owned by Mrs. Edward Meler of Helvetia, Ore., was struck by an auto. She took fifty stitches in the) hen and it hasn't stopped laying yet A wealthy woman who often takes a Pullman from the Pennsylvania station, New York, brings along her own linen sheets. A soap factory in Boston recently ordered its employes not to smoke and a tobacco factory across the street got even by ordering its em- ployes not to wash. . The city in Russia where Henry) Ford is building his plant already is broadcasting that it is the Detroit of | that country. HIS JUDGMENT Weekly Scotsman: Mrs. Newrich| entered her husband's private den, | and collapsed into a deep leather chair. “What's the matter?” he asked. “I'm terribly disappointed with the new car,” she explained. “But, why, my dear?” he inquired. “Fido doesn’t enjoy riding in it at all,” came the reply. | SQUELCHED Heckler:. Tell them all you know. It won't take long. Street Corner Orator: T'll tell them all we both know. It won't take any tonger!—Tit-Bits. FARE ENOUGH Hardware Age: Sam and Rastus were discussing politics. Rastus was a rabid partisan of the incumbent. “Well,” said Sam, “Ah like him all right, Ah guess, but his platform ain’t no good.” “Platfo'm!” snorted Rastus, “Plat- fo'm! Say, don’t you know dat a po- litical platfo'm is jes’ like a platfo'm on one o’ dese yere street cabs—hit ain’t meant to stan’ on; hit’s jes’ meant to get in on!” ‘The big banker who says he can't understand how men retire to private life might ask Senator Simmons and Senator Heflin. HARD WORK “What do you think of my new hat? I earned it myself.” “How was that?” “I trained my husband not to smoke.”—Das Kleine Witzblatt, Leip- zig. DIFFICULT HARMONY Washington Star: “What you statesman ought to do,” said the man who gives advice, “is to get together and harmonize.” “No doubt of it,” answered Senator Sorghum, “but we get confused by the unexpected rapidity with which what starts a love duet may change to a battle song.” CHEAP TALK “Really, gentlemen,” said the po- litical candidate, “with all this up- roar, I can hardly hear myself speak.” “Well, cheer up,” shouted a man, ;“you aren't missing much.”—Passing Show. Football has its points, but the bleachers can’t really enjoy a game when it isn't good form to throw things at the referee. Daily Cross-word Puzzle | ACRO! Unscalss 16,3 ni 12, Seed cover- ing 18, Pleces out 28. Administers corporal pun- NIELL, THERE I S00, AUG LIKE THis... AND BANG !//... |. 1 JUST CAN'T HELP Cos THINES BETTER THAN os alae Tr t ANYBODY ELSE, 1 Guess! TUN ANYBOOY NIHEN You MIT THAT ROPE, WITH ONLY ONE BULLET LerT B WW YouR Ile % Wear You CAN'T... THERE'S — T THNK ITS WIGH-TIME “OU HAD & RESPONSIBILITIES. OF MARRIAGE. AGE, SO HE WONT GO INTO THE KANER *AIND CUTTIN' PAPER AROUND ) LE Ya 00, YOUR (WELL, (© SHE Does, | Won'T SALESMAN] (CINNAMON BUNS Me, HOWDY — MoTHeR’s Liaste|] PAY ANY ATTENTION To e SAM MEBGE ULL NIGBLE ON’EM_ON OY / To SPANK wat IT AT ALL! NoPE-1 NEVER TAKE Qnty NOTICE OF WHAT GOES ON BEuIND met 28, Scholars 8% Article of ap- er 34, Sonth Amerte imal = 2, Wicked 58. Evergreen tree 45, Tenens 6% Calmest 61. t ald gti ese a” BC | la aq ; iad dad ae aa © PTT ary] ae Ae cee s