The Bismarck Tribune Newspaper, January 15, 1931, Page 16

e made a grand slam if Td had enough nerve to bid six diamonds.” NOW YOU TELL ONE GOB HUMOR "Twas the night before pay day, And all through my jeans I searched, but in vain, For the price of some beans. Not a quarter was stirring, Not even a jit. ‘The coin was off duty, Milled edges had quit. Move forward! Move forward! O time in thy flight, Make it tomorrow— Just for tonight. ” —Great Lakes Bulletin. ‘There isn’t much wrong in a coun-) try where hard times work no hard- ehip on the fire insurance companies. NEVER DESPAIR Hummel: Doctor—An_ operation ‘would save your life. Patient—How much would it cost? Doctor—Fifty pounds. Patient —I don’t possess so much maney. Doctor—Then we will see what pills ‘will do. Farmers using wheat as fuel at last afford a perfect example of a burn- ing issue. EXACTITUDE Longshorn-Ranger: Teacher — Wil- liam, what are the two genders? William—Masculine and feminine. The feminines are divided into frigid and torrid, and masculines into tem-; Perate and intemperate. Perhaps Nero fiddled while Rome burned, but he didn't do it to keep the boys in line at the next election. i And the lady dates back to’ long ekirts if she shines the toe of her shoe on the calf of her other stock- ing. ‘The reason a small window display attracts the most people is because it doesn’t obscure the mirror in the back, EARLY BIRD Capper’s Weekly: Millionaire—You marry my daughter? Why she’s only 8 child. Youthful Suitor—Well, you see, I baie T'd come early and avoid the Tusl ‘You have the constitutional right of peaceful assembly provided you aren't on strike or carrying silly ban- ners, ALL RIGHT Vancouver Province: He—I have been trying to think of a word for two weeks. She—How about fortnight? Then, too, you can guess the size of the town by the social standing of those who dine with their boot- leggers. ALL WORTH EATING Capper’s Weekly: Rastus—You say anything mo’, big boy, an’ Ah’ll make you eat yo’ words. Mose — Chicken dumplin’, hot bis- cuits, wattahmeion. ‘The remarkable thing about Lind- bergh is that he became a hero with- out anybody to run interference for him. THEY CALL HIM— ‘The Pathfinder: “Gangster” he's always wanting to take them for a ride. “Pocketlighter” * * * he never works. “B. V. D.” * * * Born Very Dumb. “Blotter” * * * He gets everything backwards, “Nothing is really wasted,” says a scientist. Righto. If it isn’t fit for anything else, it'll do for a bridge prize. The pioneer didn’t ask congress for help. You see, he had sense enough to trade his surplus for the other fel- low's surplus. ACROSS . 1. Goad as & Courteous Ui. Ingredient of varnish 18. Marehed 14 Mystle Hinde 0} PIETSIT] iL A/B/O]R| 0 /Olu BIL |e| 118] Solution of Yesterday's Puzzle IRIO[BRES|t [P/PIt INIG) (AIVIAISMMOIATI IL iv} aaa 6 Motallifercas Foe! rISTAIR] IRIOIGIEIR] AINIOIDIE!S| CIAIB} PIETTIAL NIE |e MF! FRIENDS CONTINUALLY REMINDING You Yo SAVE MONEY = AND QUIT RUNNING UP BILLS = ©MEETIN’ OF THE GASOLINE ALLEY RANGERS. OH- You JUST TALK YO HAVE SOMETHING. You aNopLp WAVE SOME WIVES og SAY = “THEY WOULD RUN You RAGGEDY = You SHOULD NAVE AN ANGEL WHAT 1S THE OBJECT THE RANGERS? WERE GOING TO HAVE No Doubt! FRECKLES) 4 scop ower ey AND IS | tue Loos oF TuINes, __ AUNT WE, MOM F THE GUMPS— IF [HAD THE WINGS OF AN ANGEL [ss ‘MAY sarcasm ? MY WOULD “in ANGEL MAKE SON DERFUL AND 1 DON'T DOUBT THAT A BIT AND THAT'S WHAT You REALLY SHOULD HAVE FOR A WIFE~ THEN You'd GET ALONG = WELL = 1 THOUGHT I WAS MARRYING AN ANGELL WHEN ( MARRIED YOUS . WAVE ANI OBLECT. ¢ OROANIZATIONS THAT SURNIVE MUST HANE. 4& REAL AIM WW UFE. - You WwouLs es No On CONS yo BUY THEN, NO BILLS COMING IN AT THE END OF THE MONTH FOR HATS 2, ‘SHOES AND FENN SOMME | OULD NAVE To OR anon DON'T Syenb- M JREM= AND You COULD ® { ) Be RSE INK YoU WOULD BE VERY NAPPY = WHE € Don't Like THAT] 10 a —He's Teo stamen|| CUT NOT TOO “Kraurt \'LL Walt ON Ya JUSTAS SOON AS | EIND OUT HOW MY GIRL suzy FRIEND (S~ SHE AND t WER QUT TS A DANCE LAST NIGHT! Di] INIEIREERIA|TIE(S| E88 Gulati 43, Pertaining to ‘an casters continent 4b, Mord of ree sal 46 Entar 48, Milaty ‘ita ue. Singtog iy orna- ‘men constellation 82. Withered 88. The bitter 89. Mansel 41, Animals. home 42. Concerning AI unl aw Foreet wt! on, WE ALL GET TAN WAXY | MERERE FUE PoTTS On TH GREEN FOR NA o GETTW! TCETHER FOR A LIL’ PARTY we PM. AN’---