The Bismarck Tribune Newspaper, January 9, 1931, Page 10

] You MADE ON bg THAT ISN'T LIKE YOU = ‘THAT ISN°T BEING KIND = AND ‘THE CHEAPEST THING IN ALL THE WORLD |S KINDNESS = SORRN, MISS JONES, BUT 1 REALLY “I think ll get engaged again, That’s the only way I can save any money.” | NOW YOU TELL ONE FOOD FOR THOUGHT | TAKEN UNAWARE “TI want to change this can of as-! aragus for some tobacco.” | “Sorry, but we only change food for | food.” “Then give me chewing tobacco.”— Kasper, Stockholm. | OUT FOR GOOD i Wife of Manager: You say my| husband is out? Where has he gone? Office Boy: I don't know, madam. ‘Wife: Perhaps his secretary could tell. ©. B.: Certainly she could. She thas gone with him.—Passing Show. ABOUT TO BE He: They tell me you stutter; His uncle was giving him a lecture. ‘when you're about to be kissed. | “You modern boys want too much,” She: Y-y-ye-s, th-a-t’s r-i-g-h-t./ne said. “Do you know what I was —Smith’s Weekly, Sydney. getting when I married your aunt?” a cae “No,” replied the nephew, “and I IT WOULD'T DO bet you didn’t ecither.”—Pele Mele, “I have a raging toothache.” Paris. “Do as I do and repeat one hun- eee dred times: ‘Get behind me, pain.’” UNUSUAL “Then I should have lumbago.”"—| They were discussing a mutual Buen Humor, Madrid. | friend. | “Yes,” said Bacon, “I saw Fish the; GOOD ADVICE other day and he was treating his Lady (to gentleman filling up wife in a way that I wouldn't treat pipe) Pipe smoking always makes/|a dog.” me sick. “Good gracious!” said Hammond Gentleman: Then I advise you to in shocked terms. “What was he do- give up smoking.—Vart Hem, Stock- jing?” holm. | “He was kissing her.”—Answers. MAYBE HE NEEDS IT ENLIGHTENING THEM “Fact is,” said the one man, “I mar-| Wife: Why do you always stand ried because I was lonely as much as/at the front door whenever I sing? for any other reason. To put it terse-| Don’t you like to hear me? 3 ly, I married for sympathy.” | Husband: It isn’t that, I want the “Well.” said the other man, “you|neighbors to see that I'm not beating have mine.”—Scarboro, England, Post.| my wife Answe Too many people think co-opera-| France has one-fifth of the world’s tion consists in going through a re-/|gold, but, of course, she won't use it volving door with the other fellow and | to settle her debts while brass serves yet doing nothing to make it revolve.|as well. | ; Daily Cross-word Puzzle ACROSS Solution of Yesterday’s Puzzle 1%. Require ‘1. Cleaning im- 13. Sins {| plements 5 Mast ElOMMSIE|RMMSIO[F IT]: oie 10. Banisioatly KIER IR] [i Jo} a cig in cooked domestic tow! 22. External clothing ~ 44, Encourago 15. Weird 12, Weary 18 Aromatic ser: 1. Crystal gazer 90. Bite of an in- LIE} a2. Be ss IS} pees, 33. Monkey 36. Kind of curve 55. Word of ia- DUWN 39, Examined mentation 1, Entangles aS Eine? Ao Blaster course re Deatn nodes 5 |. Droop 3% Persian fair; 48, Wagnerian 62. Minute orifices 4. Assigned tavk 46. Sandarac tree &. Large body of | horses 6%, One who notes” "water 56. Compact the speed of 6. Six-puinted 57. Coarse 69, Make one’s ‘ar hominy. home 7 Solo from an 8. Surface 10, Nothing more ‘opera, EX than & Upright parts ing 71. Worship of sti se By 7%. Notion 9. Understand 52. Boro 73. Fills out 10, Quantiti 53, Dateh meters 74 Concise medicine 64 Greater num- 75. Small depres- 11. Cooking cham- _ ber ston ber mere ae 7 MUST HAVE SOMEONE WrTH MORE Hon, Frecic.es! pip You HEAR AgouT “THE CARMEL MONIE THEATER LAST NieuT 2 One of Oscar's Tricks! quick, CHICK} HIDE. , SOMEWHERE! WHE CATCHES: WHY, (TS (2 O'cLOcK! can't HELP IT SALE 'LL HAVE TA PHONE GU22- (TS SALESMAN VERY (MPORTANT! NP HASNT ASKED ME FOR A DATE BOUTS | For A COUPLA OAX®! GEE, WONDER AND HER] * Wee PEEVED ‘cAvsE 1 ToD iM BUDDIES | IW’ BEST THNes : WUE WERE Ki | WS DOVER TRIBUNE'S PAGE OF COMIC STRIPS AND FEATURES Yau KNOW IT'S WRONG TO FIGHT-CHESTER? WHEN YOU TOOK THAT SLED AWAY FROM THAT LITTLE BOY= AND STRUCK NIM= YoU MADE HIM UNHAPPY = AND YOU MADE YOUR MOTHER UNNAPPY WHEN SHE HAD TO IGHTING = YNAT'S TWO WHIP YOU FOR F TODAY — No! wuy? Dip “SOMETHING HAPPEN ~ WELL, WF RE (©, HE IoNTT WORTH BoTwERM WITA “= HE WE INSISTS ON Booncin’ AROUND JOKE | S'FHONIY /TROVEK THE GUMPS— CHESTER WOULD LIKE TO. KNOW. RT S| (eee ae Cy AND. WANT EVERTHING FOR THIS 1S A QUEER il UH HE SE EY THE KIND MERELY NERE TO HELP . OF A MAN YOU EXPECT OTHERS — AND ALL OF US ARE s # a> gh 9 ded I Mn, o10 ir! wy, EVERYBODY IN THE AVDIENCE Gor \ # THIS FIRE 1S ALMOST OuT! NO WONDER WE HOUSE IS LIKE cet ( OONTT CARE HOW (PORTANT (TIS! SURE, Ya O10! (Was [fend I'LL eELLva ABOUT WHadDA YA MEAN, CALLIN’ ME UP STURS oC