The Bismarck Tribune Newspaper, January 8, 1931, Page 16

BISMARCK TRIBUNE, THURSDAY, 2ANUARY 9 0 ee TRIBUNE'S PAGE OF COMIC STRIPS AND FEATURES i030 nea Steve nic GEG US PAT OFF S it “Hurry up and get well before the snow goes away—or loan us your sled.” | W YOU TELL 0 | OUT ON THE FARM VERY STRANGE! Capper's Weekly: “Oh, what a strange looking cow!” exclaimed | sweet young thing from Detroit. “But | why hasn't it any horns?” “Well, you see.” explained the farm- er, “some cows is born without horns and never have any, and others shed theirs, and some we dehorn, and some breeds ain't supposed to have horns at all. There's lots of reasons why some cows ain't got no horns, but the big reason why that cow ain't got no horns is because she ‘ain't a cow— she’s a horse.” Einstein's poise in America just shows that a man used to studying the vastness of the universe isn't awed by the worst of bad manners. | Doctor (after examining patient): | When did he first seem strange? TOO GOOD | Landlady: Yesterday, when he Business Man (to barber): Your wanted to pay his bill—Tit-Bits. confounded hair-restorer has made my hair come off more than ever! Ah age toa KILLING THE GOOBE rae come|A man had been visiting a widow half way.— | every evening. *~| “Why don’t you marry her?” asked car ja friend. i vHY Ni | The man looked a little worried. rite tpatheticals): Me NOrder it "Eve often thought, about it,” he Rl tovesme when my hair has|S0., “bul where. Would: T apendsmy turned to gray. go — Tito Bus. Husband Why not? Tive loved you the other times you have changed | Its color.—Answers. Another oddity of the ti shoppers ask the price bef the man to wrap it up. OH, SOME LITTLE FELLA Nebelspalter: “A fortune teller said 1 would go to prison for embezzling .s that Money entrusted to me.” e telling) “Don't believe it. Who would in- itrust money to you?” 2s | A sufficient commentary on Amer-| Lecturer—Allow me before I close tean standards is the general surprise |t0 repeat the words of the immortal that Einstein didn’t feel inferior in| Webster— the presence of New York reporters. Farmer Podsnap—Lan’ sakes, Ma- = ria, let's git out o' here. He's a-goin’ LOW VISIBILITY |ter start in on the dictionary.—The Capper’s Weekly: “I hear Kath- Pathfinder. erine is going to marry that X-ray specialist.” “Well, what can he see in her?” | DISGUSTING FLAVOR A bishop had been speaking with some feeling about the use of cos- ‘The silver lining is beginning ‘to metics by girls. show. You hear just as much wail-| “The more experience I have of ing, but you don’t hear the Stein song | lipstick,” he declared, “the more dis- 0 much. |tasteful I find it."—Tit-Bits. Daily Cross-word Puzzle | ACROSS Solution of Yesterday’s Puzzie 1, Imitated & East Indian weight boy 8. Not loud 1h Mind of ftomer, Jlenched ban 12. Body of water 11. Carry 13, Anger 16. Old 14. Part of 8 20. Author of “He minstrel show Fe 1b. Beduces to a mean 17 Bird’s home 1& Relinguish 1% Richly deco» rate SL Pots an end to the exist- 34. Hawatian wreath DOWN 1, Winglike 2. Surface a st 46. Accountable 48 French mascue 93. Foot: saffix $88, Island in the ifle line name 49. Adult male on Pac! (St Bholter, of prayers 39, Nothing more than 86. Mistake ‘36 ee too = ~ fred : : Units of wor jas, Inlaid pattern 52. The bitter il. Distard veteh nickname 45. Wicked ‘68. Terminates 6. Before 47. Disfigare a THE GUMPS— HENRIETTA—FROM NOW ON: WHY = MX DEAR SILLY BoY= CERTAINLY = AND } WANT YOU To CALL ME UP OFTEN — AS OFTEN AS YOU. WItH = YOUR WAY= LIKE MINE NA& BEEN ON THE SHAOY SIDE OF THE STREET — REMEMBER— EVERY, STREET NAS YWO WDES — THE SHADY= AND THE SUNNY SIDE= ‘THEN YOU DON'T REALLY LOVE BIA GOMP — WH ALL MIS RICNES ? THINK= HERE 1% NOTHING WE OULD NOT FFORD YOU J WAVE ALWAYS HAD AND STILL DO HAVE HE GREATERT REGARD FoR BIM GUMP~ HIS RICNES MEANT NOTNING TO ME — AND THERE WAS A DIFFERENCE] | MAY | CALL IN OUR AGEL - ANDHE~ You WELL- HE WUST: DIDN'T _ UNDER! THAT'S ALL— WELL - SCOOGE = N TELL YOU KNOW Peet noT BIA GUMP~ THE. BILLIONAIRE Bur % om CARR 18 BAID ‘TO BE WORTH A-FEW MILLIONS = You'RE HOLOING MY NOTE FOR A GREAT AMOUNT OF E MARY GOLD BEGINNING To SEE A NEW LIGNT = THE WIDOW 13 $0 CHARMING~ $0 ENTERTAINING: ANE IS SO DIFFERENT FROM CYHER WOMENS THERE 18 NOTHING GRASPING ARoUT HER- AND SHE ONDERSTANDS, MIM 80= HENRIETTA- INTHE MEANTIME THE TOM CARR BURGLAR ALARM ARE SELLING LIKE NOT CAKES~ z WE BEEN WORRVING ALONG A | WITHOUT A REGULAR STENOGRAPHER, tebe abe oAA || MISTER WICKER. BUT IM ihe Mii cna RUNNING THIS AD’ LOOKS OK aN AS Se TOMORROW. BUT ! CONT HELP WANTED. ENNY YOu _SURE, "LL READ NOUR JOB OF” IT TO YOu. a HOPE NOU DON'T MIND, PHYLLIS, BUT LEAST, WALT, BUT YOU'D BETTER GET A HAIRCUT AND HAVE YOUR CLOTHES PRESSED OR THEN'LL KNOW 2 MOURE MARRIED. ZZ B HELP WANTED FEMALE COMPETENT B STENOGRAPHER B CAPABLE OF ANSWERING ROUTINE CORRESPONDENCE. APPLN WALLET, a WICKER OFFICES, J WEONESDAN. CAN BEAT THE WHITE OF EG6ES UNTIL. STIFF... ME, MOM F Bor! 2 HANEN'T HAD AND HIS FRIENDS Helping Mother! By Blosser MOM’N WASN'T HE, AND HES, POP DIDN'T SIE THAT ISNT Thoughtless of Chick TERRIGLE UNDER FOOT] “THIS MORNING yumm LZ oe i Leave tt To mel mans. GET HER EGGS ‘oKAyt ELENA uUiy A WN" HEATER |} Wm sorry GeoD BT 1 cant AND HER Bubpiés |“? ral we ¢