The Bismarck Tribune Newspaper, January 7, 1931, Page 8

meds YRseeny 24RgRsog evdznwss a aA ee Amana | NOW YOU TELL ONE | GONE ARE THE DAYS Judge: “Here, my good man, is your coffee and roll. You're a new- comer on the bread line, aren't you?” “Yes, ma’am, I’ve never asked for hand-out before. You wouldn't think it to look at me, but I used to be the head of a flourishing business. Now I’m reduced to this.” “another stock market victim?” “Never bought a share of stock in my life.” “Ah, the old, old story—wine, wom- ‘an and song?” “No, my habits are above reproach. I owe my downfall to this unconven- tional, jazz-mad younger generation. ‘They put me out of business—with their flouting of the good old customs. They—they—” “Don't excite yourself so, my friend. Remember, we want to help you. What did you do? Maybe we can help you get back into your old busi- ness.” “Thanks.” just the same, but there's not a chance. The young folks don’t need me any more nowadays. You see, lady, I used to be a grower and shipper of mistletoe.” Relax—So there was something in vour wife’s speech that sounded strange? Reflux—Yes, a pause.—The Path- finder. Lady La de Dah (to daughter as new hotel guests arrive)—More vul- garians! New Arrival (to friend)—Did you hear that woman? She takes us for @ couple of foreigners. Wigg—It takes brains to get any- wheres today. ‘Wagg—Yep, that’s why so many people use other means of transporta- tion.—The Pathfinder. Mr.*Nutleigh—Gosh, our poor rela- tions have made a fortune 1n oil. Mrs. Nutleigh—How nice. Now we can pay back their visits—The Path- finder. | GRANDPA WAYBACK SAYS | The Pathfinder: An optimist is a |man who takes a woman and a seed |catalogue at their face value. | I bet if scientists ever do find that |Garden of Eden the apple orchard | will be in a kinda rundown condition. | Getting next to your closest friend |usually makes you further apart than | ever. | If the baby falls on its head don’t | worry. The country will always have |meed for orchestra leaders and Fed- leral jurors. | The first hundred bottles of cider |put away last year are now the hard- jest. | THEY'LL TRY IT YET | Chet Johnson in Judge: “You ‘de- liverin’ stuff in this town?” “Certainly. And I'm going to keep it up.” | “Oh, yeah? Well, ol’ timer, maybe |you aint, see? You gotta long lista customers, huh?” “Practically everyone in the city.” I thought so. Now, lissun: What ‘1 say goes around this village. see? T run the prohis, the police an’ the courts!” “How does that affect my busi- ness?” “You gotta kick in, that’s how! Ten per cent of every load you bring into this burg comes to me, get it?” “Tll not pay a cent of tribute to ou! What right * * “I muscle in on everything! An’ you aint no exception, Santa Claus!” ‘A man becomes what he eats,” says the scientist, which means you can watch the highway and tell what becomes of all the ham. You can still hear the same bum singing in some barber shops, but it comes out of a radio now. An old-timer is one who can re- member when the last word in youth- ful wickedness was to put something smelly in the water can on the school stove. | | Daily Cross-word Puzzle | AUKUDS 1, Mark of a wound & Philippine savages % trish ex pletive Solution ot Yesterday's Puzzie 1 By tian solar nee 18, Orifice in the skin 20. Turn to the nt 14, Of great stature 1%. Foot covering 18. Revise 17. Saree of Jumber 18, Act wildly 19, Deputized 21. Portent » - Voral solo Lomellest £2. The bitter yeteh 23. Canine 25. Forms #9. Chided robe. je 40. First name of the Pieces out Before: prefix ar ol DOWN 1, Hastened 2. System of signals 3% Seed cover- Ing ymbo 44. Tropies 45 Lamb's donym 48. Staves 4a 4. Nerve network \orrow 80 Color quality Sl. Grafted: 81 . Leeward 52. Act ae BIG Generous Neighbor? WRAT 18 YOUR ABOUT THIS TIME ? age | LOVE THIS TIME Hew] OF NEAR, LORA YES BUT | ian WHEN (tT GETS DARK EARLY. GROUCH ‘THEY WERE NALF COOKED = GEE...You PLAY THAT DRUM JUST LiKe AN LIKE IT WHEN TNE SAME OLD THING — TNE FOOD=— MY COFFEE WAS COLD= THE BACON FRAZZLED TO A CRISP — WAD YO OPEN ALL THE WINBOWS= AND THE SMOKE ISN"T OUT OF THE MOUSE YET — } COULDN'T OH SO 0O SOMETHING AWFULIN NICE ABOUT THIS. ISN'T THERE? |. BUT, THERE'S -BUT I THINK MY DRUM ANNOYS THE MAN NEXT Door, NE POTATOES HALF COOKED — LEY MIM EAT THE HALP YHAT 18 COOKED THEN-| 1 WAS MISTAKEN = BEFORE | ENTERED Tl tHe ROOM ~ | THOUGHT 1 HEARD THE HUM OF Voices = BUT IT WAS THE HUM OF “THAT INSECT: BUZZING AROUND — NOU KNOW, LORA, YOURE ONE OF MN BIGGEST WHY CON'T NOU SHAKE? ALWATS BuzZING = BUZZUING= ROUND = 2-2-2-2-2-2= UZZING 2 B-z-z> MOU'NE BEEN INSPIRATIONS. WHEN 'M HOLDIN' ON LONG J THROUGH SCHOOL I'M WELL, HE GAVE ME THIS KNIFE THis ENOUGH. ww AN ASKED ME IF I KNEW WHAT WAS, INSIDE OF NY By Cowan TOONT CARE IF HE IS SOM MAT. TM SICK OF THESE THERE, SECRET MEETINGS. TLL LET TM THE GNE) OU IN THE BACK COCR AND IF UNCLE OBJECTS, WE'LL STEP INTO FOR YOU TO TELL) AT YOU, ABOUT SMASHING HIS KEY GO22, HERE'S A CASE FROM) FINE! ILL BET ITS “Wat RARE VASE! SOME TOWN IN CHING t NEVER SALESMAN HEARD OF BEFORE - (TS MARKED “FRAGILE, CHINA” — oro ERED SOME Tim Acol Mow, sam, | WanTCHa To BE CAREFUL ABOUT BREAK-| ING--THIS VASE-(TS COSTING ME OLENTY AND ('D Hate to nee. IT CARELESSLY BROKEN “THE E1RST OH, Micosu! TH" Vase! (T MORE CAREFULLY LE \'0a TREO To! 3 sy a NETHER WSs P.M. 2 ORE WANS SWELL: AM 3 += WAY DONTCHA RON, CURT