The Bismarck Tribune Newspaper, December 30, 1930, Page 8

©1910 NEA SERVICE In'C- @EC-U-S.LAT. OFF - “Now what was that story you were telling when everyone stopped laughing the minute I camo in?” WwW YOU Wife: There's a burglar outside, the window! ' Husband: Hush! Be quiet. Let him open the window first. I haven't! ‘been able to budge it since the paniter ‘was here recently.—Answers. TELLING AGE | The old gentleman's wife was en-/ tering a railway carriage, and he neg- | lected to assist her. “You are not so gallant, John, as when I was a gal,” she exclaimed, in gentle rebuke. “No,” was his ready response. “and you're not so buoyant as when I was @ boy.”—Ilkeston, England, Pioneer. { COULDN'T TELL A LIE H Fishmonger: Shall I send these} fish out to you, sir? | Unlucky Angler: Oh, no, Throw them to me gently so that I can catch them.—The Humorist. SHE DOESN'T MIND | “There's just one objection to this canoe, Maude, and that is that if you try to kiss a girl in it there's a great canger of upsetting it,” said the young swain out with his girl friend. At length the girl remarked softly, “I can swim.”—Tit-Bits. Love - Sick Swain (in. early morn- ing): How can I leave you? Tired Father (poking his head around the door): Bus number 49, street car number 7, or any taxicab,— Merthyr, England, Express. AND STILL HE LIVES TELL ONE UNQUESTIONABLY | Critic: All I have to say is that if that picture of yoursiis art then I am a blundering fool. Artist: Then there can be no doubt of its being art—Pathfinder. Lissen—Linerimer has won quite a | |reputation as a poet, hasn't he? Hurja—Yes, it is generally conced- ed that he has no inferior. NOT MUCH Student (leaving college): Good- bye, sir. I want to thank you for all I have learned from you. Prof.: Don’t mention it—it’e noth- ing at all—The Humorist. JUST THE RIGHT KIND Small Boy (who has broken a dozen eggs:) Mummy, what are you going to do with the eggs you sent me to buy? “Make an omelette.” THE BISMARCK TRIBUNE, TUESDAY, DECEMBER 30, 1930 1 CAN'T GET HER OUT OF MY MIND— HEAVENEYES - THAT VERY WORD pal Ln at SEEMS CEMENTED RIGHT IN MY HEART — WELL- 1 DON'Y KNOW WHICH 18 THE WORST To HAVE A MILLSTONE AROUND YOUR NECK - OR A ROCK OF © CEMENT IN YOUR HEART — THE GUMPS— ANDY VS. BIM CEMENY 1S ALSO THE THING THAT BINDS = Two HEARTS CEMENTED TOGETHER — THAT 1S HOW OUR HEARTS QHOULD BE — UNDYING LOVE ‘TO MEARTS (S LIKE CEMENT !S TO BRICKS — DID YOU EVER NOTICE IN LOOKING AT A BUILDING - HOW THE CEMENT Ge ee t Kt TOGETHER — SAY = WHAT KIND: OF LOVE ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT — THIS STONY Love '? GASOLINE ALLEY— SO IT SEEMS i HE'S NOT ) INCLINED TO HIDE HIS THRIFT OUNOER & BUSHEL. HIS ECONOMY ON HIS SLEEVE, THAT'S ALL. BUT AVERN SEEMS TO THAN ANNBODN €LsE. HE'S SO TIOHT THAT EVERN TIME HE WINKS HIS TOES TWitcH BUT JUST THE HELLO JAY...L S'Pose TEAM THAT HE WAS TELLIN’ NE ABOUT 6ives ME ALAUGH...I SET IT WAS A SCREAM , WATCHIN’ YOU WEREON OSCAR'S You'Re “TH! FELLA WHO O10 THe FORWARD PASSIN'? sure... L O10 Te AERIAL worst! VLU BE GONE THE REST OF HE DAY. FILE THESE PRPERS-aND NOW NLL GIVE YOU AN ILLUSTRATION or THE KIND OF LOVE YOU'RE SPEAKING OF = BEE THAT BUILDING OVER THERE ? SEE THE BRICKS — SEE THE MORTAR = THE CEMENT - 2 DOES THAT HOLD THEM TOGETHER 7 BOY! THERE'S WHERE YOU'RE FOOLED, IT KEEPS THEM ae a> € US Pa ons by The Chieage TM EXPECTING IMPORTANT PHONE CALLS , SO KEEP ALERT AND DON'T LEAVE THE OFFICE, ULL HAVE NOUR LUNCH SENT UPS. WHAT “Yes, that’s old Spriggins. Half a dozen doctors have given him up at various times.” “What was the trouble with him?” “He wouldn't pay his bills."—Hum- mel, Hamburg. ‘Good."—The Humorist. INDIVIDUAL “How can you eat with a knife?” “It's not so easy as it looks, Look jaround at the other guests, not one — of them can dot it.”—Lustige Kolner NO EXCUSE |Zeitung, Cologne. College Lad (arrested for speeding): But, your Honor, I'm a college boy. Maybe jaw exerpise just seems to Judge: Ignorance doesn’t excuse! p.eserve the teeth because gum fills anybody?—Passing Show. |the cavaties. | Daily ss-word Puzzle ACROSS Solution of Yesterday's Puzzle —% Novel 1, Command. 10, Timber tree of 7. Local frritant ie Pac 1 Rubber | islands ns 11, Dog 13, Maddens 1%. Foray 20. Milk farm th Cut AND A CIECE OF HE 1S OKEH WITH ME IN THE MIDDLE OF ALL THS SOLUSHED MAHOGANY ! 16, Pastime 13. Organ of erial fight 1% Find the total Sober \E Xe HONEN'T ANYTHING ON To— MIGHT, SAM, COME OVER TS “TH! HOUSE AN’ WE'LL. smoke UP MY CHRISTMAS cicaRs! =, OKAY, Gu22.~-BuT) (NOW Tat weve GoT CHARLIE VLU BRING My |/CROOKS, THE PRETZEL MAKER, OWN smokes t TO BILL GENDER, WHO WENT ON The STAGED net 26, Mimosaceous tree 28. North Rivers bbr. A IT C) Vv A iT OTe ete iM 1 40. One who rans away seeretly lE| 41, Spirlted ‘horses 44, Heroine of 35. Take ont SL. Pertaining to “The Flying 86, Sea Journeys the dawn Datehman” 38. Matrons %8. Small depress 2+ «2 jons * 2 Hebrew tetter {pth tetter ounde ‘i 60 Bank officer i yes 61, Mohammedan, Dressed - Public carrier: nobles abbr. vas ", ay y/ e ai 3 sal wag “eee