The Bismarck Tribune Newspaper, December 27, 1930, Page 13

“You can’t appreciate the view you'll have until that sign lights up in the evening.” | NOW YOU TELL ONE NO CHANGE ‘The professor's wife was speaking. “I must say, James,” she said, “that you do not look so well-dressed as you used to.” “That's strange,” replied the pro- fessor, thoughtfully, “for they are the same clothes."—The Humorist. | BROAD VOCABULARY Mrs. Streatham-Smythe (staging Nier first reception: And, Mary. from seven to eight o'clock I want you to stand in the drawing-room and call the guests’ names as they arrive. Maid: I'll do my best, mum. 1! suppose just the first thing that comes into my head about ’em will do!—The Humorist. “George tells me he's working for all he’s worth just now,” said his fond aunt “Well, I suppose that’s his way of saying he’s only earning five dollars @ week,” returned his cynical uncle— Tit-Bits. MISSED THE POINT Elsie: I don’t love. Ronald any more. Last night I wanted to show him how well I could whistle and as| T pouted my lips to whistle— Molly: Well? Elsie: He let me whistle—Lustige Kolner Zeitung, Cologne. Angus—Old Tavish MacTavish got cut of paying the dentist $40 to take out his teeth. Sandy—How did he manage it? Angus—He picked a fight with him ‘and got ’em knocked out for nothing, —The Pathfinder. Cutajar—T understand your hens have stopped laying. © Chlupp—Yes, two of them have. Cutajar—What’s the reason? Chlupp— They had an auto acci- dent.—The Pathfinder. Victim—That young fellow who had the next chair was a fine barber. Why did you send him back to the barbers’ college? Head Barber—He had an impedi- ;ment in his speech, so I sent him back for a postgraduate course in ;conversation.—The Pathfinder. History Might Have Been Different f— R. C. O'Brien in Judge: Pau Revere had been held up by traffic. Caesar had recovered after having been put on the spot. Napoleon had had a plane and pilot for @ nonstop flight from 8t. Helena to Paris. Daniel Webster, after having won his first case defending the wood- chuck, had had the verdict upset on appeal. Henry Clay had rather have been wrong and president. Patrick Henry had been tongue- tied. John Paul Jones had been subject to seasickness. Cleopatra had worn lonk skirts. FIREMEN HAVE SUCH A SNAP London Tit-Bits: A young and un- tried fireman was serving at his first fire, and the chief, rushing up to him, shouted: “Climb up that ladder to the eighth floor, crawl along the cor- nice to the fourth window, drop down three floors, and catch that wooden sign you see smoldering. Then swing |yourself along to the second window, break the glass and go in and see if there's anyone about. * * * Well, what are you waiting for?” “Pen and ink,” said the new man. “I want to hand in my resignation.” SAVING LABOR Detroit News: His Wife--Why don't you patch that hole !n the ;Screen door? It’s getting bigger every Correct this sentence: “Take him|day, and the house is full of mos- tn that room and question him,” said the police captain, “but remember b*: that even a suspect is entitled to ‘ every courtesy.” quitoes. Newt Neversweat—I'm waitin’ for it to get bigger so the bats can get in. Bats are death on mosquitoes, | Daily Cross-word Puzzle AUROSS 1, Kind of dog 4& Climb Solution of Yesterday's Puzzle 6. Help % Feline |_ hac 4% Football poste 3, Hosen charac. [TR MB. Arabian imal eys- { THE BISMARCK TRIBUNE, SATURDAY, DECEMBER 27, 1930 NOISE OUT IN THE KITCHEN ? MAT ON EARTH “is SHAY KID UP To? LISTEN TO HIM { A STILL GETTING CHRISTMAS PRESENTS. UNCLE ANERN JUST GANE ME A CALENDAR. GEE, | WISH t HAD ONE FOR A LITTLE WHILE. TIM FLYING Gack FoR SECRET SERVICE OUTY SAYS TM ALL \NELL AGAIN, WHAT'S WRONG Now WHAT'S YHE MATTER ? wiyn ty ? SKEEZIX, HAVE YOU HAS NY shat 21S - 216 -217~ 218- 219- THANKS, JUST THE SAME BUT YOU DONT Owe ME A TUNe...T j SOMETHING FoR RESCUING ables pee habla vette citi, eeealiec asians OUTY... AND, WIT WAS { CANT REFUSE DO GRINGING | | GagAT FUN DoING THINGS FOR HIN HOME... | A GON LIKE Yours !? FEEL THAT Lowe You tr WA& GOOD WHEN SANTA CLAUS ) BUNNOs ‘ INE EVERYTHING Weape Jo FIXIT = WE OLED IT— PUT ENE INT eee ey UPSIDE DOWN PED IT ON THE FLO at {r AGAINST THE WALL= AND ' 363 OAYS TILL. CHRISTMAS, UNCLE WALT. THis 1S susT ALITTLE PRESENT FROM ME, TO MAKE You ALWAYS REMEMBER, YouR LITTLE FRIEND FRECKLES...L BOUGHT EN KOU caNn''T Do “Hat! You ) SURE, BUT Tt MADE UP “TH RIDDLE, DION'TCHA? ) DIDNT Make aT Ny TY rZ “HE ANSWER, Ff ( VULTELL YA (a \GOT A NEW HOBBY, GUZ2— MAKIN’ @ Hieey, samt UP RIDDLES-WHATS TH’ OLIEFERENCE t bottoms GETWEEN A WART ON AN ELEPHANTS, t AM TRUNK ANO @ FRECKLE ON A ELEA's IM] A 16. Dillseea E rth E BacK? IT < ) N} Pe 1 18, At a distance 20, F D Ee N iT IR A R 80. Pe | 81, Vegetable tr $2. 100 syuare i te 4, Binds win IN le “eg a” Pt , 60, small ahtenane ap 45. Brazilian St Fras 50. Protects an Invention 31. Shield shaped 33. Set of three 34. Bombast 36. Colleetion of maps 3h Walking 1, Nominal valve . Walking macaw @ nee 49. Utter 48. Consider : 88 Be 48, Beverage 3. Animal jelly $9. Mypoeritical 49. Aye 4. Glats $f Wise men 4. Men who 40. Legistator i. Terminate handle a train 2a “A es: Hae ert | it Te i oun am A Come-down for Tippy