The Bismarck Tribune Newspaper, December 13, 1930, Page 14

‘THE BISMARCK TRIBUNE, SATURDAY, DECEMBER 18, 1980 TRIBUNE'S PAGE OF COMIC STRIPS AND FEATURES SIDE GLANCHS - - - By George lark | rer ueeceata- mene : uae To i Now stop filling up on bread.” NOW YOU TELL ONE . HISTORY MIGHT HAVE BEEN DIFFERENT IF— Paul Revere had been held up by traffic. . Caesar had recovered after having been put on the spot. Napoleon had had a plane and pilot for a non-stop flight from St. Helena to Paris. Daniel Webster, after having won his first case defending the wood- chuck, had had the verdict upset on appeal. Henry Clay had rather have been wrong and president. Patrick Henry had been tongue- tied. John Paul Jones had been subject to seasickness. Cleopatra had worn long skirts. —R. C. O'Brien. Did you ever stop to think that a fish may go home and lie about the size of the bait he hooked! The aristocratic look if the eyes of a Pekingese is not convincing evidence that he is free from fleas. He may be ~ "just. too refined to scratch.—Roy W. Howard, in Life. . A statesman is a man whose idea of helping the farmers is to spend va'se more of the products the farm- ers have already raised too much of. TAKE THE STARCH OUT OF HIM Mother—What is little Billy crying for? Father—Well, he nearly swallowed my cuff-links, so I gave him a couple of cuffs.—Pathfinder. “There's something I won't give to Ed. Now, if I can find something I won't give to Stella and Jim and Teddy my shopping is done for this year.” —Life, Tramp—Lady, won't you help a Poor man that lost his family in the Florida flood and all his money in the Wall Street crash? Lady—Why, you are the same man that lost his family in the Galveston flood and was shell shocked during the war. Tramp—Ain't it so; lady? I'm the unluckiest guy on the face of the earth.—Pathfinder. FRECKLE AND HIS FRIENDS That 158-year-old Turk r:-eedn't claim to be the eldest of all. We had one which was at least twice that old for Thanksgiving. Al Capone recently offered to give up all his other rackets if the Chi- cago officials stopped interfering with $5,000,000 to reclaim land on which to {his beer business. Maybe he could run it better by himself at that. In the middle of the nineteenth And since party leaders have gone |Century two things happened of some into several huddles since election day, it seems to us the logical thing is for the G. O. P. to punt. {many wi Street cars in New York are ex-| pected to give way to motor buses. So are automobiles, horses and wag- ons, motorcycles, bicycles and pedestri- A Kentucky sheriff, returning from ® raid, ran his car fourteen miles on confiscated moonshine. We are told the only difficulty was in persuading the car to stop for traffic lights. It was said when Coolidge left of- fice that he planned to spend a couple of years doing nothing except whit- tling. Someone should remind him the two years are up. jimportance—I was born and Tenny- |son wrote “God fulfills Himself in ."—George Bernard Shaw. A bahdit’s life is a dangerous one. ; Two mail bandits captured in Michi- ;san had existed three weeks disguised as deer hunters. If writers and artists starve in at- tics, it's their own fault. Real inspir- | ation is found in cellars. | | LITTLE BUT OH MY! In keeping with the current rage, j there comes the miniature cocktail. | One drink and in a miniature out. Amos 'n’ Andy recently gave a Scotchman pneumonia. He kept his windows open to hear them. Daily Cross-word Puzzle | ACROSS 4. Former pres!- dent 8. Ou a 18, Biolleal lest M4 Bathe 14, Jump 16, Soft mass 1%. Unomelted metals 18 South Ameri can Indian 1, Hed cano} 22. Abangons 24. A king of 4% Proper 51. Part of @ miustrel show vst Woman Hire 5s. Larce woody Blaut Solution of Yesterday's Puzzle 4. Lukewarm 5 Cl 6 King of beetle i Avpendage toe SALESMAN SAM ey 25. 1 26, Beverage 2% Vehicle 1, Soft mineral £ Appellation. of ry 3% Be afrais By Smal) BUDDIES By Martin = 4 MY WEDDING SUIT = THE ONE } WAS Yo BE MARRIED IN= THINK OF THE HAPPINESS SHAT YOU DIDN'Y GET MARRIED = You NAD A HORSE SHOE AROUND YOUR NECK | | SIMPLY JUMPED OUT OF A BURNING susie’ AND YOU JUMPED JUST IN THE NES = AND THERE ARE TWO abs Jo EVERY’ SHEET OF FLY PAPER = BON FORGET. THAT= AND VT MAKES. A WECK OF A LOT OF DIFFERENCE TOO: TWAT WAS IN STORE FoR ME = ALL RIGHT, SKEEZIX, \TS NOOR MOVE. VM GOING TO MAKE A KING OUT oO o™msS One. ae AND THe OLD HERMIT GAIN ENTRANCE To Me Se&ceeT TUNNEL © THAT wit LEAD Them OuT OF THe NALLEY oF NANISHED MEN AND To UNCLE CLEMS LONG Now...\WOOop!! SOMEBODY STANDIN’ IN THE OTWeR END OUR WAY OUT OF HERE AND Nick OF TIME = AS FATE ln AW YoU AND NOLLERED Be aN SAVE MY CHILD! Upadetlasctes ntl D OLD G00! MINOTE! FINGERNAILS! BLACK AS THE ACE OF SPADES. DON'T NOU EVER CLEAN THEM? WAS PASSING AN THERE ARE Two SIDES ARE NOU — IN MOURNING OR SOMETHING? WHICH SIDE OF THE FLY PAPER MR FLY CHOOSES FOR A LANDING FIELDS NO, ONICLE WALT. BUT NOU SEE NOU HAVE WHITE CHECKERS AN’ WHITE FINGERNAILS — "ve GOT BLACK CHECKERS AN’ BLACK FINGERNAILS. WELL... WERE ev COME, JUST AS WE Flevrep They MM GOODNESS: CUR NEW Matos DROPPED. SOMETHING ELSE! OH,1 MUSTN'T 4 KICK — SHe’s THE BEST I CAN GET AT PRESENT! " \ \V AAA Lot | | SSSSSS \: Ss WREN IN SCHOOL. \o Tosste' im Ww COME on! WELL, WT LOOK: AG \F BOOTS HAS GONE INTO A TAL SPIN ALL ONLY ONE THING !! HANE IT OUT, RieuT HERE... SOMEWHERE ENE BEEN Dougie. CROSSED... WELL, LETS: FACE THE Music !! ete! Tere's A MAN AT EACH END OF THe TUNNEL... NOW WHAT LL “WERE! wou SEES Kou TOOK “ME CIGAR WITH THE BAND ON tT = WHY ? BECAUSE THAT BAND CAUGHT SOUR EYE—IT WAS ADVERTISED - IT STooD OUT AND CADGAT NOUR ATTENTION $ — THAT'S WHAT ASME OSS WESSuUM , VE Do! You BeTttau tac some DISHES HERE IN TIME FoR DINNER — WER ,RIGAT OOT-- 1 OWE THINKS oe Grub’ US MED A SQUARE LS THe WAY, Wet ‘CAUSE A WE “Wt ARTIET Bioews w ~ AND TM FULL OF ALOT OF IDEAS HAT ARE SNAPPIER. THAN. THAT, EXENT N'T TINK DIS CHINA VILL LAST TILL DEN I