The Bismarck Tribune Newspaper, December 11, 1930, Page 8

THE BISMARCK TRIBUNE, THURSDAY, DECEMBER 11, 1930 “That's the trade I'm going to 133 Nan eaves INC learn, if 1 ever get anything to practice on.” NOW YOU TELL ONE DEPENDS ON WHAT YOU LAY A professor of economics finds a bricklayer's daily pay equals the value of 360 eggs. This represents a hard year's work for a hen, but bricklayers will point out that a hen cannot lay bricks.—Life. It is not industry, but greed, in- stictive greed that drives the bee re- Jentlessly onward.—Dr. E. F. Phillip, Cornell University. IF THE BEDROOM IS COLD It will soon be time for us to lie in our supply of winter underwear.— Life. When I get to Washington I'll make pot likker the national drink. It makes statesmen strong and women beautiful. It will restore the national health.—Huey P. Long, Governor and Senator-elect of Louisiana. AND ARTIFICIAL JUMPS? Scientists declare they can produce artificial heat and light rays which will do away with the necessity of windows in office buildings. Yes, but can they produce artificial airplane exhibitions, and parades?—Life. THESE DAYS Wifey—There's an old clothes man at the door, Hubby—Tell him I've got all I need. ADVICE “Yawning exercises the facial mus- cles and makes one beautiful,” advises a radio beauty expert. We must listen to more radio talks.—Life. I believe that the remedy for un- employment is employment.—Charles H. Tuttle. OR EVEN WICHITA Bootleggers’ children when they aren't good, are told that they won't go to Chicago when they die.—Life. We should support the President whether he be right or wrong.—Cal- vin Coolidge. THE PERFECT GIFT Santa Claus was in his annual quandry about what to bring the Fresident of the United States for Christmas. “Hasn't he written you a letter?” asked Mrs. Claus. “No,” replied Santa, looking hurt, “I don’t think he believes in Santa Claus any more.” “This skeptical age,” wailed Mrs. Claus. “Couldn't you take him a nice fishing rod?” “He has more than he can use.” “Or a cowboy suit?” “He has outgrown that sort of thing.” “Or a train on track?” “He doesn’t like trains. They re- mind him of his campaign.” “Well then, I don’t see what you could give him, unless you could find something really unique.” “You've hit it!” shouted Santa. “It must be something he has never seen nor heard of before. I'll take him a citizen who is completely satisfied with the administration!” — Henry Alfreds in Life. Nearly all the old-time American critics are women who became almost men when irritated because bustles went out of fashion.—Jim Tully. Detroit, Mich.—Forty menbers of the anti- pickpocket squad were as- signed to watch the crowd at the Fordham-University of Detroit foot- ball game. Only one instance was re- ported. Sergeant Dombeck, ace of the squad, had $8.00 taken from his hip pocket.—Life. Many of us feel that the civilization of the United States is not represent- ed at its best in the American film.— Dean Inge. I LOVE YOU CLAUS I DO Yvette: Look at that diamond necklace Marie is wearing. She must have written a letter to Santa. Yvonne: No, Santa got foolish and wrote a letter to her.—Life. Daily Cross-word Puzzle ACROSS Solution of Yesterday’s Puzzle e p of play. (PLE [PIE|R|SMMSCIRIA/PIE|S| s same JAINIDITIRIOIN EET IH{1 [SIT {LIE} IRIAMETIAIPIERERIAINEES/A[C| & Trae states ments 2. Weird & The Greek T % Is im error 10, Extent of FRECKLE> AND HIS FRIENDS 1 FOLD You TO WEAR YOUR RUBBERS — AND NOW. LOOK WHAT HAS MAPPENED = id 1) SURE You Kiow JUST, WHERE THE MOUTH OF THIS ‘| [SECRET TUNNEL. bis, Frecures? a oe FRECKLES AND PETER wueey 0 § Reacn THE; ‘TUNNEL THAT wite~ YoU WOULDN'T: LISTEN TOME =| NOW- 1 SUPPOSE WE'LL NAVE AN INVALID ON OUR HANDS = South A CoLd— SUCH A PAIN: IN MY CHEST — THEN LOSE THEIR APPETITE SO WE WENT RIGHT AHEAD, WELL. WHERE is r2atts +] SvPposED To Ge risur§ ‘Were NOU'LL WAVE ‘XO TAKE ‘YOUR KELLY OFF To ME AS A SALESMAN. TERT IN YO SEE PAUL AFFEL Topky AND SOLD WIM ON ‘XWE_ADEA OF GINING. CHICK A SOB YM Gud, FoR CUIKK'S SAKE . WONT HE BE TKKLED P 0, * 4 K WE (NES A TOUGH CUSTOMER, BUT YOU KNOW THE Whe D SELL TMOSE BABIES. KE SND CHICK WOULDN'T BE WORTH J MORE Twn $20 9 B WEEK BUTE TAKED WIM INTO GNING HIM, a ————— Ysov' wusts Tuar & 1] waite tame UP”, \[THere? Wat wieur WANE SOMETHING IT ISNT PAT aT ALL... « A, TS CHALK... NO' TT ISNT B CHALK. UMM... LETS GET § A L06 OND SEs IF : Ah nus WEANS ANYTHING" 4 Twety DOLLARS! OW PoP, You'Re A wonder! 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