The Bismarck Tribune Newspaper, November 26, 1930, Page 10

THE BISMARCK TRIBUNE, WEDNESDAY, NOVEMBER 26, 1930 “—and don’t let him chew anything for a couple of days.” NOW YOU TELL ONE HIRSUTE DREAMERS “A surprising proportion of young men today are actually incapable of growing moustaches,” says a visiting Jecturer. We say it doesn’t prevent a surprising number from trying. ae —Life. Stevens Point, Wis—Women jurors here wore such short skirts that Judge Park ordered a special parti- tion built around the jury enclosure. —Judge. TANKS The British army is being equipped with new tanks which look and move like giant crabs. In our last war we had something on that order, but they ‘were called sergeants. —Life. Several years ago the authorities authorized the resumption of football playing at Columbia, but spoerenty the Columbia football team hasn't heard about it yet.—Judge. WEEKLY CHICAGO NOTE Dissatisfied with police methods in the gangster situation, it is rumored that Mayor Thompson has ordered a Grastic shake-down. Ae —Life. An advertisement states that “it took 12,000 workers to put that bottle of milk at your door.” Yes, it sound- ed as if it did. —London Opinion. An ugly situation has arisen in Chi- cago. It has been rumored that the police are compelled to pay for gang- ster protection.—Judge. “Excuse me, constable,” said the old gentleman, “but here is a parcel of fish which I found in a railway car- riage.” “Right, sir. If it isn’t claimed in six months it’s yours.” —Pearson’s. ‘They aren't tenting tonight on the old camp ground—they’re putting.— THE ROBBER “Did you improve financially m- ter marrying?” “Yes; my wife demanded money the first day, and I've been advancing steadily ever since.”—Answers. “Prohitition has put romance into American drinking,” says a Paris business man. Uh—huh, along with @ lot of other dangerous ingredients. —Judge. THE TEST “What's the difference between dancing and marching?” asked the girl of her clumsy partner. “I don’t know,” he replied. “I thought so,” she said. “Shall we sit down?”—Tit-Bits. ITCHING We don't know the scientific name for it, but the popular name for it would be athlete's palm.—Judge. QUICK COMEBACK He had just been worsted in a business deal, and he was very an- gry. “I look upon you, sir, as @ ras- cal,” he said. “You are privileged,” said the other man, “to look upon me in any char- acter you care to assume.”—Pele Mele, Paris. IGNORANT Casey (to foreman): I'm tired of carrying this hod. I want to push a wheelbarrow like Flynn does. Foreman: You push a wheelbar- row! What do you know about ma- chinery?—Tit-Bits. A communist is the only fellow without money who spends his time in riotous living.—Judge. TWO POINTS TO THIS Mother: Tommy, your father tells me you called him an old idiot. Did you? Tommy: Yes, mother. Mother (distractedly): Well, Tom- my, I'm glad you're truthful, anyway. —Nebelspalter, Zurich. i ANG on Irie (Re [TIE MMEINIAIMIO[RIE|D| ss. 1 RIE INIE|WIAIL|S] x», lElolt ITE [o} 48, Author of “The Rabalyat” 49. And tens suffix at. City Penn: t f 101 of .o& Rivers Spanish PP er a iKodder stored ‘ io. Js. Covered wagon 46. New: comb. form street POOR UNCLE BIM~ I'S A SHAME TO SEE THE WIDOW MAKE SUCH A FOOL OF HIM@ AND HIS SALESMAN AM BUDUIES By Martin WI6WAMS! TWO ice OF THEM... AS FRECKLES) core as tm 1 YHINK SHE'S THE FOOL = To LEY SUCH A PRIZE AS | BRIM GET AWAY = ‘TOM CARR IS A NICE FELLOW = GOOD LOOKING = AND WAS MADE A MINT OF MONEY OUT OF WIS BURGLAR ALARMS = BUT | DON'T THINK HE CARES FOR HER= LESSON, KIO HO SIO - YO SAY YO HENRIETTA Weta eit touts Hes FIRM = ur FU - geen BONE TO LOCE OUT ALL AROUND & JF SHE'S NOT CAREFUL — SHE'S JUST LIKE A CHICKEN THAT FLICKS FROM ONG EGG Yo ANOTHER = AND SHE RESULT 18 — NOTHING I$ EVER HATCHED = WOULDN'T MOU THINK ‘THAT PEOPLE WOULD GET TIRED OF GETTING STUCK WN JAMS LUKE THIS AND LEANG THEIR CARS AT HOME SO THE REST OF US COULD GET SOMEWHERE! ONDER WHAT KIND OF INDIANS They ARE... MIGUT BE THAT Were WEY, COME Back wi (TH THe Book! COME ON... NOBODY IN TUS ONE... 6USSS THEYVE GONE AWAY AN’ Ler IN THe OTWER You KNOW = You CAN'T CARRY YWo WATERMELONS IN ONE HAND = SHUT UP YER HOLLERINT VLL oer amt PERE HE 1S! NOW TELL ME. WHAT WAS YER (DEA OF YELLIN’ MURDER? y, HE_WAS “TAKIN TH LIFE OF SULIUS caesar! NCEE, WT LEFT I PROMISED TSO wim WEN. FAT: GIMME A GOOD SwirT uicx, WiLANA 2? e