The Bismarck Tribune Newspaper, May 14, 1929, Page 12

TUESDAY, MAY 14, 1929 s | , THE GUMPS—A NEIGHBORLY CALL , 1 NEVER PITIED ANYONE SO IN MY LIFE = W'S JUST PATHETIC = To WATCH HIM ° sust MOPE AROUND = WAS LOST INTEREST IN EVERY THING = JUST WHEN HE HAD REACHED SUCCESS = Ai WHEN NE COULD HAVE GIVEN AAARY EVERYTHING = QUST MADE PRESIDENT OF pie pererlgage fia ROYALTIES - HI Me RR EIRST WO MONTHS WERE A QUARTER OF QUST PASSING THE HOUSE = MOUGHT I'D DROP IN = I$ Alt: WASN'T IT TERRIBLE ABOUT POOR MARY GOLD ? $0 SAD — SHE WAS SUCH A SWEET LITTLE CREATURE = AND POOR TOM CARR MOW DOES NE TAKE IT ? POOR FELLOW = HE SRS ARAN ESN with HE: WE MUST BE ALI BROKEN TO PIECES = A NANDSOME CHAP = ZANDER = "Tce IVE SEEN ove an, ACCOUNT OF YOURSELF — {WASHINGTON 4 | was one of the healthiest indications he had heard of in a long time. With Bishop Cannon on record to that ef- fect you can just imagine the cheer- ing and clapping and stamping that By RODNEY DUTCHER (NEA Service Writer) Washington, May 14—Senator J. Boomboom McWhorter has had what is by all odds his brightest idea since first he proposed to save the farmers by turning the boll weevils and the torn borers loose on each other and letting them eat each other up. The senator wants to divide con- gress into rival cheering sections, with cheer leaders and megaphones and regulations. When members cheer now, as they did the other day when they heard how the police had killed a young man in a rum-running car, the noise is only spontaneous and disorganized. with none of the neat effect on the galleries which Senator McWhorter ts sure could be reproduced with a little planning. It must be admitted that McWhor- ter’s interest is not altogether un- selfish. Everyone knows that he can make more noise than an ambulance driver going home to lunch. The mere Clearing of his throat is louder than the combined bellowing of six ordi- nary senators. The Senator Is Silent Thus the senator is really a born cheer leader. His magnificent voice has been going to waste lately be- cause the young man who formerly wrote his speeches raised his rates, Jeaving McWhorter with only four or five speeches to his name. The sen- ator has delivered the one about the flag and the one about the Bol- sheviki and the one about his political Opponents so many times now that whenever he rises to speak two or three of his colleagues promptly pre- tend to faint and the senate is ad- journed in their honor. “But don’t you go supposing that T'm thinking only of myself,” admon- Ishes Senator McWhorter. “My pro- gram for organized cheering would benefit everybody in both houses of congress. “You know how important it is to keep on the right side of Bishop Cannon and how when Bishop Can- fon says he wants anything he is sure to get it. Well, when they cheered in the house the other day about how that wicked rum-runner was killed, Bishop Cannon said it will be heard the next time any boot- legger gets shot. And if Bishop Can- non himself comes to the gallery on such an occasion everybody will be trying to outshout each other until we all get out of breath. “But it ought to be organized. If it is important enough to organize a few thousand college boys at & foot- ball game for cheering purposes it ts certainly important enough to or- ganize the U.S. congress. I am quite convinced that the louder our ap- plause the more zealous will become the efforts of our prohibition en- forcers because goodness knows they need encouragement. “Of course, I would not always make cheering compulsory. When a bootlegger is sent to the morgue or the hospital it will be quite all right for his customers to remain silent. We will all understand the grief of such colleagues. “Nor do I want to be partial about this. There are not many wets among us, but such as there are should not be deprived of their fun. Whenever anybody shoots a prohi- bition agent it will be their privilege to emit a few yells in the approved collegiate fashion. I hope they will be glad to do that, because it will keep them from making nasty re- marks when the main cheering squad goes into action over a law en- forcement triumph. Can Cheer Any Time “Neither will we necessarily wait for a shooting. There may not be enough of those at first to keep the cheering sections in condition. I sug- gest that we have some sort of a cheer for an important arrest or even a good-sized raid—say just a brief ‘Rah! Rah! Rah!’ for cach law en- forcer participating.” Unlike most proposals by members of congress, no particular expense is involved in Senator McWhorter’s plan. All that would be needed would be a small appropriation for a few megaphones. (Copyright, 1929, NEA Service, Inc.) DAN, 1 SUPPOSE I MIGHT AS WELL GET DOWN To BUSINESS RIGHT NOW —THESE MYSTERIOUS WAL, NAN NER FOREMAN, WAS BEEN MMEETIN' STRANGE RIDERS MOST EVERY wiEeK | AT OTTER CREEK AS RES FOREMAN LeRE,T ALLOWED T'WANT AONE OF AY BUSINESS, BUT IT _ > GEER DOIN A Lor OF TAINKIA ++ TELL ME WHAT You KNOW, DAN — TMS 1S sTRIcTLy CONFIDENTIAL A MILLION DOLLARS — RIAN, TAK REORGANIZING TINGS WERE AND TM OBLIGED D Ask You TO LEANE = YOU CAN TURN IN YOUR TINE AND GET Your Pay !! WANHYs JUST AS You Spy, AR. oRnSBy! TM FIRED, HUH? THINKS THAT ENDS 1 OIONT Z HEAR TALK OF ~ FRECKLES BROTIER BEING ON WIS WAY HERE 77? TLL JUST FIND © OvT MORE ABOUT HEAVENS! LT'S THE TAN FROM THE LOAN ASSOCIATION. T WONDER 1F DOP COULD HAVE FORGOTTEN TO PAY ¢ THIS MONTHS INSTALLMENT. IF HE HAS, GOSH, 1 HAVEN'T $150 IN THE BANKETHAT TRIP TO COLORADO AND THE $5000 1 SOCKED IN THAT COPPER CLAIM PUT A KINK IN MY THAT'S THE THING TO DO. WHEW! T HAD NNO IDEA 1 WAS THAT LOW T'LL GET A THE DOOR DOWN, NO, 1 O1D - COUPLE OF HUNDRED FROM HENRY TY TE. NOT ANSWER THE BELL.IF Even since the day Tony Tarver had first driven up to the shabby lit- tle Ross house in Myrtle street in her own car. one of the first outward and visible signs of Pat Tarver's sud- den prosperity, the honking of her horn had been the recognized manner of her greeting. Two long squawks, three short ones, meaning as Pop Ross said: “Hi! there! Here's Tony Tarver!” And never once in those three years had it failed to bring Pop or Mom Ross or Sandy—all three of them, if they happened to be home. Until now. ... . Feeling a little dashed and slightly apprehensive, Tony scrambled out of her roadster and ran up the old, un- even brick path to the front porch. “Where are you, Mom?” she shouted ment, the disreputable old coat in which Sandy had make nearly ail his flights. Had he bought a new one for this flight to New York, where he was to take part in a tremendously important conference about the pro- Posed air-mail route? Was he—was he dead in it now on some far-away field? It was no conscious act on Tony's Ppart—that sudden pressing of the oily old coat against her cheek, her lips. But as if it were attar of roses she drank in the smell of it, the mixed odors of earth and oil and high ad- venture and Sandy Ross. Perhaps if another odor had not obtruded itself Tony might have learned something then of what she really felt for Sandy Ross. But there it was—the unmis- gaily, as she pushed into the warm, | takable, nostril-flaring odor of burn- familiar hall. No reply. “Funny!” Tony puzzied. “But may- be she’s run next door to borrow some sage for the dressing, or some- thing like that. Of course nothing's happened—unless—unless they got a telegram about Sandy, saying he was —hurt—” The thought was so unnerving that ‘Tony sank down upon the narrow, hard seat of the old-fashioned hat- rack. Underneath the lid of that: seat. mixed up with old sneakers and a catcher's mitt and Pop's and Mom's “artics,” was a pair of her own rub- bers—too small now, since they had been there since she was ten years old. Mom Ross would as soon have thrown away Sandy's baby shoes, stiffened with bronze paint and oc- cupying the place of honor on the “settin’ room” mantelpiece. As she Jeaned back against the cracked old mirror of the hall rack—she had broken it hurling a baseball at 12- year-old Sandy—Tony's dizzy head rested against a stained, limp gar- eR a limba ° f IN NEW YORK New York, May 14.—Our most wide- ly known Manhattanites have certain characteristics of dress, manner or behavior which have become indel- ibly associated with them. ‘Thus there is David Belasco's clergymanish collar. There is Morris Gest’s inevitable slouch hat, which looks as though it had been sat upon by a circus fat lady. Also his per- petual pose of melancholy. There is Frisco’s inimitable stutter. . .. Texas Guinan’s armload of jewelry and her “hello sucker” greeting. Paul White- man’s tiny mustache. Jimmy Walker's trick clothes. Grover Whalen’s hand- shake and bow. John D. Rockefeller'’s dimes and his son's derby hats. Al Smith's “brown derby.” Helen Kane's baby-talk voice. Walter Catlett's agile LITTLE JOE { Aerens 66m EADS W (BET MAKES SOME ° ing fruit and sugar. Mom Ross's Thanksgiving dinner cranberries were burning! More familiar with the old house than with her own home on Serenity Boulevard, Tony sped down the hall, into the dining room, wove a tortuous course through its ten-piece golden oak set—Mom Ross's pride and joy, since Pop had given it to her on their first, wedding anniversary—and banged through the swinging door into the kitchen, beginning to fill now with black smoke from the burning cranberries. But before she could reach the gas stove to turn off the flame Tony for- got all about the cranberries. For lying between the stove and the kitchen table was Mom Ross. Tony flung herself upon her knees, lifted the grizzled head, with its pallid face and closed eyes, and hugged it to her breast in a frenzy of love and fear. NEXT: An unwilling invalid. (Copyright, 1929, NEA Service, Inc.) a a ee iain legs. Eddie Cantor's mobile eyes. Irene Bordont's accent and smile. | Ethel Barrymore's voice. Mrs. Fiske's bird-like mannerisms, Ring Lard- ner’s walk. There's Isabel Patterson's lor- gnette. . . . Heywood Broun’s bulk. ... Percy Hammon’s golf pants and Dorothy Parker's. wisecracks... . . Harold Ross’ haircuts, and the same for Van Doren brothers—Carlis par- ticular . . . Carl Van Vechten’s albino hair and his walking sticks and spats «+» Kelsey Allen's inevitable opening line, “Say. I heard a new one com- ing up the street .. .” Alexander Woolcott’s silk ribboned pinz nez... . Eugene O'Neill's scowl. ++. Thrya Winslow's toy dogs. | And a lot more of them some other time. eee Literary Note—I notice that some of my kind and well-intentioned friends have credited ing ‘ of Dr. Richard Horace the “gh Hoffman's interesting tome, “The Struggle for Health.” Just to keep the records straight, such credit for col- laboration as I deserve has been given me in the front of the book. *“* & The passing of Greenwich Village | becomes more marked each week. Not jthat the village isn’t where it always was, but the “at IT'S PAST DUE. WELL, NOW THAT HE'S SQUANDERED EVERY NICKEL WE RAVE ON: THAT COPPER MINE 1 MIGHT AS WELL GET USED TO DODGING BULL COLLECTORS. 1 SIMPLY WONT ANSWER THE BELL YOU HAVEN'T PAID HIM YOU'D BETTER SEND HIM A CHECK Way You GIG Bum! | Pay Sot FER A BAG OF ORANGES AN’ You coBELE ‘eM act uPtt : ics Aero Scholarship For Undergraduates ROLL. I'VE GOTTA GET SOME WELD, LET ME THINK — GY GOSH, "0 GONNA HENGE. FRUIT FER Dessert @N’ NO LONG NECKED OSTRICH “4S GONN® STOP te, ETHER! HE'S A GOOD FRIEND OF MINE. JUST THE OTHER DAY HE WAS-TELLING ME HOW MUCH HE CLEANED UP ON A LITTLE DEAL r NOW GO AHEAD AN’ FOOL AROUND » WT Hert! EAL 2H | ea