The Bismarck Tribune Newspaper, March 19, 1929, Page 10

— THE BISMARCK TRIBUNE By RODNEY DUTCHER (NEA Service Writer) Washington, March 19.—Senator J. Boomboom McWhorter says it is a mistake to suppose that a statesman’s troubles all come while he is trying to be elected. As a matter of fact, says McWhorter, it is only after he is elected that they really begin. The senator is sorely concerned with problems of domestic relations which he says are far more delicate than those of foreign relations and if he had his way there would be a | Senate committee to handle cne as well as the other. The trouble seems | to be that the other members of the McWhorter family do not see why | J. Boomboom, who was never by any means the brightest of them, should be on the government payroll while they are left off. The situation is somewhat compli- cated by the fact that during the darkest days of the McWhorter elec- tion campaign the senator boasted within the family circle that if he were defeated he would be appointed to the cabinet and that everyone within the family circle would then have a job in his department. xe Ok All the McWhorters, young and old, fell on Uncle Boomboom's neck and went out to contribute to the cam- paign fund of his opponent. When the senator was shown to have been re-elected, thanks to the faithful elec- tion officials, they decided unani- mously that those dollars must not have been spent in vain and that they should be cared. for in any event, but. would consent to the pain of separa- tion in case Uncle Boomboom couldn't get them all into the same bureau or department. Senator McWhorter is by no means the first statesman to be beset. with such a problem. Most statesmen solve it by picking fights with their relatives well in advance and making them so mad that they won't ask for anything. But when Senator Mc- Whorter tried that last Christmas he merely lost a fairly good suit of clothes beyond repair and was unable to return to Washington until some time after the recess, by which time he found an ultimatum from all near | Supporting young Pilose. WASHINGTON 4 LENDER, § TRIBUNE’S PAG Sa relatives in the form of a nomination slate, partly as follows Minister to Mozambique: Caleb Mc- Whorter. Caleb was originally trained for the ministry anyway and it wasn't {his fault if he didn't make it Secretaries to cabinet members Ethyl and) Methyl McWhorter, the twins, who are rarely qualified to be confidential secretari Ethyl and Methyl have unimpeachable reputa- tions for being able to keep sec be- cause Ethyl is always so busy talking boss to Methyl and Meythl 0 busy talking about her ayl that neither ever has j time to talk to anyone else. Prohibition Agent Addie = Me- ; Whorter, the senator's brother. Addle is not so good with an axe or bla Jack, but has long sir proved that his stomach was designed for a pro- tracted campaign of evidence-buying. Addle has an uncanny faculty for lo- cating spt easies in a st e town and after visiting one inv bly blabs all he knows, so that he could be de- pended upon never to furnish protec- tion to any rum shop. Assistant Attorney General: Hochoo McWhorter, the goodlooking one in the family, and flamingly youthful. Hoohoo would like Mabel Wille- brandt’s job and promises to keep dis- icreetly quiet during campaigns if they will only send her to Europe or some- where until after clections. With Hoohoo on the job no defendant could ever work any sob stuff on ry because they would all be looking at Hoohoo. Any job in the Treasury so long as it is inside: Pilose McWhorter. Pilose would have the knack of keep- ing other employes busy. It is known to the Clan McWhorter that Pilose is a sad victim of kleptomania, but Pilose is always perfectly honest and innocent in his attatks because what- ever he gets he brings right straight home and doesn’t try to hide it or anything. Unfortunately Pilose never remembers where he got it, so that the other McWhorters are never able to return anything. There are other McWhorters de- manding federal jobs besides those mentioned, but all are unanimously After a long minute of concentra- tion, a smile lightened the gravity of Crystal's delicate new beauty. “What's up, Crys?” Bob demanded. “You look like the cat that swallowed the canary.” “But I haven't swallowed it yet. I'm just going to,” Crystal laughed, as she rose from her chair. “No, Please sit still! I'm perfectly able to walk, if I take it slowly.” » “Do anything you please—just so you don’t run away from us again,” Bob warned her. Smiling back upon her cousin and his- wife, so newly dear to her, Crystal Closed the door between the dining room and the hall, then seated her- self—trembling a little from the effort of walking after a month in bed—at the telephone table in the hall. In a Jow voice she called the number of the Jonson farm. And now she trem- bled with apprehension. She was about to meddle in Cherry's life. If her scheme to bring Nils and Cherry together again did not work, she might have nothing but Cherry's bit- ter enmity. “Hello! Rhoda? ... Crystal speak- ing. ... Yes, she’s here, and she and Hope are both well... I know! Listen Rhoda! Last night Nils extended me the most cordial invitation to come Out to the farm to recuperate. 1 know he had no idea then that Cherry would be here, but I'm going to ask you to do something that sounds aw- fully strange. I can't explain over the Phone. . . . You understand? Well I want you to ask Nils himself—yes, Nils!—to call me back within a few lin Peter Holliday’s shack in the woods minutes, and to repeat his invitation to come out, I'll explain later... . Good-bye.” Crystal hung up the recciver softly, glanced down the hall to e sure that Cherry had not emerged from her room, to which she had fled in tears; then leaning against the wall occasionally for support, Crystal slowly walked to her own room and shut the door upon herself. She was so sure of the invitation that she dragged out her su C, whose last trip had ended in disaster near Beamish, She was packing slowly, stopping frequently to rest and to wipe the cold dew of fatigue from her lips and forehead, when the pro- longed shrill of the telephone bell told her that the expected call had come, She heard Cherry's door open, crash shut, the swift click of Cherry's high heels down the hall. Fortunately, however, Faith must have suspected something, for she had managed to reach the telephone first. It was Faith's voice which called: “Telephone for you, Crystal! | “Oh, I thought it was Nils, calling | for me!” Cherry wailed. Faith replied, coolly: “It is Nils, but the call is for Crystal.” “Crystal!” Cherry exclaimed bldnk- ly. “Here! Let me have that receiver, Faith.” “Tl do no such thing!” Faith re- torted crisply. “The call is for Crys- tal and she'll answer it.” NEXT: How the scheme worked. (Copyright, 1929, NEA Service, Inc.) f IN NEW YORK New York, March 19.—Manhattan seizes upon any passing vogue, and quickly milks it dry. With the blunt finality of a blase coquette it tosses transient fads, fancies and even per- novelty may grow jaded, but it is And because of this constant change of heart, few things or people or Places have time to build up any sort of tradition. ‘Tradition, to put it tritely, depends upon time, and only those things which have an old flavor have any roots upon which to cling. these are wiped away as fast as Possible to give birth to the new. Z )an event remains an event for many || years. The old boys gather year upon |0n Watson’s behaviorism, Gershwin’s [} ported him very ill in the Alps, no »| one shrugged a shoulder. His latest year and redigest all the details. A Personality rising in a small town is seldom forgotten—at least for a gen- eration or two, That sme local celeb- rity may come to New York, cut a wide swath for a few weeks and then go into the general discard. Yet while it holds something to its heart, New York certainly clings tightly. The “who's who” fairly leap to attention and create a fleeting fame which, if one is wise, can be turned into a national reputation and @ very healthy bank account. * * One season the tea-tasters’ will talk nothing but Freud. Before they've even slightly digested the fine Points of psycho-analysis, they're off Place in music, the latest Metropoli- tan Opera discovery, the most popular night club entertainer or the out- standing novelist.’ I recall a few seasons ago Michael Arlen graced every drawing room with his wit, manners and Personality. His flair lasted almost an entire winter. When two years later someone re- books get slightly more than a glance fi MR. GUMP SAY: THE GUMPS-- DELIRIUM $s THAT YouR peaveuat \ MOTION MACHINE Freckles and His Friends AOS THAT WE AISSED THE Bost (( FoR HAWAIL, WHAT To Do? UMMA OOF . TABBY ! names for | BLACKIE! um. Por's cat UM-M-Memem eee CAME PILING ANABELLE — IN SO FAST ON HIM ToDIY THAT HE SUFFERED ALL NIGHT ANITH OA HANG -OvVER o— ais 15 about we casr CHANCE YouLt HAVE To WIN ANY PART OF PoP's $50 $0 SHOOT IN YouR NAME FOR HIS CAT eo ——— AbpRiss - MoM'N OP = CuBt_OF Twis PAPER SUCCESSFUL CARDINALS THAT HE HAS LEFT THEIR, House ENTRANCE. TTRAINING- a WELL NO KIODIN,, BOOTS - HOW DOES IT FEELTICE A Success- YOU GOT ME, FRECKLES = IT LOOKS LikE ouR ARE WE GOING TRIP KAS GONE Flooey:.”’ C GOSH, WHY DION'T | THINK 0 CONNIE. JAM WAS SO |/MACK BEFORE ZEROM ALL I'VE HEARD ABOUT HIS KINDNESS TOWARD YouNG- FELLAS, ALL | GOTTA 7TH’ PARK AN’ TELL Go TA DO IS WALK INTo Hita UM READY Ta WorkK- AWRY, UNCLE HARRY.” QENEMBER OUT ON THE DESERT Wien You TOLD NE TUAT'WHEN You SET YOUR MIND TO Do SomE- TAING NEVER 6IWE UP UNTIL IT'S DONE’! YOURE RIGUTe WELL 6ET TO HAWAIl OR Z, Q hy fae, >. CAME ZOOMING’ TASY SAN ThE NIEQE TO TAKE FoR WANAI) . DISAPPEAR NER THE “THERES THE OLO Bor HIMsELE-) WA CAN TELL CONNIE Any! (E THAT QIN'T HI, (TS HS e tet eae eae ci rey UT T BROTHER'S BROTHER = NER SAN PEDRO, BOAT THAT Tusy FE, OF COMIC STRIPS AND FEATURES MAR TUESDAY, MARCH 19, 1920 Y= WHEREJA QET THAT ‘PARRY srure? * WE AleiT wUST AS WELL CiDcLE AROUND AND 60 Back TOA LANDING. FIELD, igo! EayYE = * iy Uso A THRILLING RIDE 5 FROM Te DESERT, DIDNT WE, FRECKLES ? SCAT! every Me 2 CLOSE MY EYES THAT BABY AND A THOUSAND LIKE IT suet DIVING 7: \(WHooP— 1E' WHat e@ Lock? CHANCE (E THER: OAsESarr va, WERE Na SET : (TouT! EAK FOR THE ATHLETICS! MOWM’N POP The Willies By Cowan PoP