The Bismarck Tribune Newspaper, January 7, 1929, Page 10

ars By ALLENE SUMNER (NEA Service Writer) Washington, Jan. 17.—If Herbert Hoover achieves the quiet inaugura- tion for which he has asked, it will only be over the pitiful, mangled, heaped-up bodies of many Washing- ton business men. Incidentally, if the thirty-first pres- ident remains firm and wins his Quaker inauguration, it will be THE triumph of his reign, insist those who know what Washington's big butter and egg and tourist bus and hotel and post card and megaphone men amalgamated, can do when they get started. - Meeting in frequent luncheon ses- sions on the matter of persuading Hoover to have a nice big inaugural and bring back the good old days, they issue bulletins to the effect that— “The celebration which we seck should have no taint of the com- mercial. There should be no sugges- tion that we are trying to hold up the nation’s citizenry which comes here for the event. “We only ask that Washington not be shamed and criticized throughout the nation for failing to make ade- quate preparation for the thousands who, quiet inauguration or not, will descend upon us and expect to be cared for.” eee That sounds reasonable enough. But Chairman Hubert Work of the Republican national comniittee, which appoints the inaugural com- mittee, only reminds the big business men that inaugurations are subject to the wish of the inauguree, and that Herbert Hoover has asked for the soft pedal. Hope springs eternal in the hu- man breast, however, and such or- ganizations as the Washington Chamber of Commerce, the Board of ‘Trade, the Merchants and Manufac- turers Association, the City Club, the Federation of Citizens Association, the Women's City Club and even the “Al Smith for President in 1932 Club” ask those immortal words, “what is quiet?” They have learned that one pres- ident’s “quiet” is another president's idea of a hot time in the old town to- night. They insist that they'll not give up the struggle until rip-roarin’, good old-fashioned inaugural balls with the colonel’s lady dancing with the colonel’s groom return. They remind you with tears in their eyes of those times. see The last inaugural ball was March 4, 1909, when William Howard Taft became president. In many ways it was a disappointing inaugural. The| worst snowstorm in the history of the city fell the day before. Ten of snow fell that night. Six thousand men were busy with shovels before dawn inaugural day trying to clear the presidential path from White House to Capitol. They re- + moved 58,500 tons of snow and pga 18,000 pounds of sand over the ice. But even so, the traditional inau- gural ball brought out the usual thou- |Sands, rich and poor, those of high rank and those of low, colored and white, cotton and gold-threaded bro- cades. They tell of that dazzling grand march with the First Man and | First Lady walking through a flower- jroped aisle to their dais. | They remember the hundred bands | of that occasion and sadly recall the | Wilson inaugural of 1912 with to |band at all for most of the time, and {then only an anemic trickle of music from one band. President Wilson had said “quiet,” too, but they didn’t quite believe him until the occasion was pronounced a flop by the 50,000 who came to be en- tertained. Pressure was applied that year, too. But in vain. Even that 1912 inaugural, Wash- ington business recalls in its present noonday sessions of ways and means to make Herbert Hoover see that even “a quiet inaugural” should have some wassail and revelry, was quite live- ly compared with the last one, March 4, 1925, when the only excitement was the use of the radio for the first time to broadcast a presidential inaugural address, eee But an inaugural “as was an in- augural” was Roosevelt's in 1905. Ah,|° boys! Rough Riders, Grand Army Veterans, Spanish War Veterans in the personal escort to the Capitol! Color bearers from West Point and Annapolis. The Senate chamber packed with diplomats from the whole world in full dress, the su- preme court in its black silk gowns, @ 200-plate inaugural luncheon at the White House, and the president re- viewing a pageant of Rough Riders, Philippine native scouts, Porto Ri- cans, Carlisle Indians, Seth Bullock with his cowboys in full regalia, the Richmond Blues in plumes, anthra- cite coal miners in mining togs, Buf+ falo Bill and his Indian chiefs led by Geronimo, with Buckskin Charley, Hollowhorn Bear, Little Plume and American Horse. Then the ball itself with the grand march limited to five minutes because the First Lady’s gown and Jewels were too heavy to be trailed about any longer. They recall that when the inaugural committee wished to furnish Mrs. Roosevelt with two powdered train bearers, she declined on the ground that “the president wished it to be a quiet and unpre- tentious ceremony.” Which seems to prove that one president's definition of “quiet” might satisfy even the civic inaugural com- mittee. Perhaps Hoover's can be made to do so, But the luncheon ses- sions are noticeably less sanguine from day to day. The Republican committee con- tinues to say “you know what Hoo- ver means by ‘quiet.’ There will be nothing doing.” They're just waiting now until he gets home, when a delegation will ‘wait upor him! St Ne | INNEW YORK | °-——_—____—_—___—__-+ New York, Jan. 7.—Selection of a stage name is not so simple as it sounds. The modern psychologist would tell you that the acquired moniker should suggest the type to be played, should cling easily to the memory and should fit easily into the bright lights. Greta Garbo is, in my opinion, an excellent example. It is alliterative, easy to remember and has a certain suggestion of the exotic. Gladys Glad, one of Ziegfeld’s glorified gals, is an- other which combines suggestion with alliteration—and, hence, is one of the best known of chorine names in America. On the other hand, it has seemed to me that stage figures with such names as Ethel Shutta should do sometifing about it. As the wife of George Olsen, the well known jazz bandmaster, she could readily become Olive Olsen, or something of that sort. é I always felt that Rudolph Valen- tino was an almost inspired name idea. Imagine this same young man going through his career under his true name of Guglielmo! Ramon Novarro is another that implies the romantic. . So is Ricardo Cortez—both assuincd names. oe @ Which reminds me that the Olsens are an excellent example of theatrical that really mean some- George endeavors to play at musical shows in which his blond and ‘beautiful wife appears. And recently when Olsen walked out on a produc- ‘tion, due to one of the usual theatrical : g is eat a I A fellow was entitled to get a better job, wasn’t he? Seemingly he wasn't in Chicago, They found him in his bedroom a few days later with his throat slit... . He barely escaped with his life. And, of course, changed his address back to New York when he had recovered. GILBERT SWAN. (Copyright, 1929, NEA Service, Inc.) [BARBS | OO Scientists have traced man back to a fish. It looks as though they're on the right track at last. cee The messages to Mars go unan- swered, which seems to advance the theory there are no women on the planet. eee Maybe the idea of the street car companies is to teach people to stand up for themselves, ee What this country needs is more books by opera stars in which they “tell everything.” ee If we can lend enough money to Germany, it is just possible Germany can pay enough to England and France so that England and France can pay us their war debts. Fair enough. eee Girls, go to Macon, Ga.! A store there advertises Pure Men's Handker- chiefs. (Copyright, 1929, NEA Service, Inc.) f Farm Facts , Reed’s caution comes at a time that the 1917 consumption would total 97.2 gallons of milk per capita and for 1927 about 120 gallons. ee Where the cattle tick has been erad- ARY GOLD — HEART BROKEN wie LEADEN EYES FRI OM, LOSS OF SLEEP = Odell ALL OF HER TIME IN HER ROO “SINCE THE NEWS OF TOM CARR'S ARREST — FORBIDDEN Yo VIRIT HIM IN HIS CELL OR YO WRIVE ONE CONSOLING NOTE — f MOLDING A _ToRN. PHOTOGRAPH LDIN cd She YOM _AUTOGRAPHED= “WIT LOVE = TOM” Why DID HE WRITE THAT YERRIBLE LETTER ? - Way DID HE CEASE To Love WER ? SHE WOULD WAVE ENDURED ALL FOR WIM- WELL-HOWS THE ANIATOR, TODAY, AFTER THE FIRE DEPARTMENT HAD To RESCUE WIM? 1 SEE THEY TOOK THAT'S A SNAPPY-LOOKING GAG CHARIOT POP GAVE MOM FOR CHRISTMAS -.... UM WHAT. A NIGHT # GOSH TLL DOT! 1 COULD SLIP DOWN THE FIRE ESCAPE TAKE A % SPIN,AND BE BACK IN A JIFFY- oa SALESMAN SAM Sam’s Off-Day Sen | THATS TH’ THIRD CUSTOMER WHO Has KICKED ABOUT SLOW SERVICE T'DAY AND SEVERAL OTHERS Have. COMPLAINED ABOUT. MAISTAKES You've Mave —’ BOOTS AND HER BUDDIES Opal tothe Rescue ... ByMartin - yl v WAND ===] YEW! 1M Knock 'EM DEAD AX WS BOXIN RACKET STEVE FEW THE LITTLE COUNTY JAIL Witom ‘CARR SITS GAZING THROUGH TEARS Ay THE LOCKET OF MARY — WHICH QHE Re MU GAVE HIM ON THAT NEVER ~YO- GE -FORGOTYEN $ ra NIGHT = WHEN. PERPETUAL MOTION — wt, "SAikene 4 WIS, DREAM = SEEMED A’ REALITY BASKS IN THE LUXURY AND WAS YO MAKE WIM THE GREATEST OF MID CLUB ae INVENTOR OF ALL TIME = AND THE aie SEvent, Z RICHEST WOULD. BE HIS BRIDE — RRourrsnie WITH MARY= BUT ALAS = IT WAS ALL BUT A DREAM= AND THURSDAY HE FACRS TRIAL ANAM AAR--\uo COULDNT Co mar!’ WeRo! Honest OSCAR, Youre A JOKE --*+* PERO! HAAHAAHAHA WAANOHOHOHOHo, 9 OH,\F -\F YOU WOULD - THE AGENT SAID I. JUST WHAT'S THIS? A PAIR OF @MSSED THE BUS, AND Mv WIGH HEELS WITH A GRIP. AUNT, MRS. BORING COULDN'T Ans = WAVE GOT MY LETTER af WELL NO SOONER. SAID THAN DONE FACTION, THAT'S ME. : YOU Lissen! sow some per! use Your NOODLE! OON'T ORAPE YOURSELF AROUND “TH’ COUNTERS! YOURE AN EMPLOYEE. HERE. — NOT A FIXTURE! . BTL SAX, OLD, GbE CSTE ~aaF CHAP = RENLSSY Ht 4 RA eae) ae) Sane CY F. Nn Fe S Fats oF =e, ah EP Ya AMIS ‘ {2 SBACPATE2. = NL my SEO Cyavid Bae ULE TS > SSS FS