The Bismarck Tribune Newspaper, March 7, 1925, Page 4

DAA aur PAGE FOUR THE BISMARCK TRIBUNE Entered at the Postoffice, Bismarck, N. D., as Second Class Matter. GEORGE D. MANN Foreign Representatives { G. LOGAN PAYNE COMPANY ‘ : DETROIT CHICAGO Marquette Bldg. iat PAYNE, B ; NEW YORK Fifth Ave, Bldg. MEMBER OF THE ASSOCIATED PRESS The Associated Press is exclusively entitled to the use or republication of all news dispatches credited to it or not otherwise entitled in this paper and also the local news puv- lished herein. All rights of republication of special dispatches herein are also reserved. u \ MEMBER AUDIT BUREAU OF CIRCULATION SUBSCRIPTION RATES PAYABLE Daily by carrier, per year..... URNS AND SMI Publisher Kres;ze Bldg. | | A few day: ee RET ee Eo pepe eS Editorial Review Comments reproduced in this may Rot express ‘ribune. -Thoy == column may or the opinion of The are presented here in order that ¥, have both sides important Issues which are being discussed in the presse of the ‘Say. A REAL CHAMPION (Seattie Times) ago, under the shaty eucalyptus trees near Santa Bar- bara, there occurred the death of a noted horse, Lou Dillon, who, back in 1903, trotted a mile in less than two minutes, a feat that never before had been performed in the racing world. Kven the ardent followers of the turf who remembered the mark of 2:08 established many years before by the famous Maud S., could hard- ly believe their eyes, when they read the press dispatches telling of the hitherto unknown, and in- deed, marvelous retord set by this gallant little mare. The history of the harness world Daily by mail, per year (in Bismarck) . ‘ ; 5 Daily by mail, per year (in state outside Bismarck)... 5.00 Daily by mail, outside of North Dakota.............. 6.00 THE STATE’S OLDEST NEWSPAPER (Established 1873) (Official City, State and County Newspaper) THE LEGISLATIVE SESSION The nineteenth legislative assembly, which ended its deliberations last night, should be commended more for what it did not do than for the laws it passed. Little, if any, destructive legislation found its way on the statute books, and many vicious bills which were proposed were de- feated. Economy was the watch word of the legislature when the solons met, but little was accomplished in this regard. The system was too hard for the ardent proponents of econ- omy to overcome. The institutional blocs, with members from towns and cities having institutions, ready to trade their vote for a new building, and bridge enthusiasts ready to do the same, prevented the slashing of appropriations that many expected would be made. The futility of the législature attempting to make decided revisions in the sys< tem of educational institutions in a short period, without a definite program laid out, was shown. Appropriations made at this session probably have exceeded those made at any previous session. No damaging legislation was enacted with regard to banks, and some helpful legislation was enacted. Increasing of reserve requirements, regulations affecting disposition of collateral and borrowing, all should help the conservative bankers to continue the remarkable progress they have made in the last year. The state still has the useless Depositors Guaranty Fund law on its books, but there was indication in the attitude of many members that it ultimately will be repealed. : The Highways legislation was a reflection of the investi- gation, the desire of the people for economy and their beliet that the present system of building state roads is too ex- pensive. The machinery for building state main roads, a necessity in the development of the state, is left standing, and some work may be carried on. As the state grows and prospers there will be expansion in this regard. * The state industries were given little attention. Laws were enacted as asked by Governor Sorlie for the state mill and elvator at Grand Forks, and perhaps the executive will he able to improve the situation there. The legislature, how- ever, made no attempt to study the sordid experience oi these industries thus far, or to consider the principle of the state engaging in competitive business. Repeal of the anti-cigarette law came because legislators recognized the futility of attempting to enforce such a law and because of a growing inclination to refrain from attempt- ing to control habits of the people by legislation. It is to be hoped that the law will not be referred to a vote of the people, but will be given a thorough trial. Rancor and bitterness of politics hampered legislative deliberations to a marked degree. The worst evil of all, trad- ing of votes for institutional appropriations, had been rec- ognized by Governor Sorlie, who wisely urged the legislature to pass budget appropriation bills early in the session. Had this been done the legislature’s record would have been more creditable. ODD Life offers stranger coincidences than fiction. A Cleve- land judge, placing a wreath on Washington’s tomb at Mt. Vernon on Washington’s birthday, turns around to see his wife drop to the ground, dead, Heart failure, said the doctor. Thus the judge, paying homage to a dead man in the name of Ohio Masonry, remains to mourn his own dead. You read this and are interested. But it is not death that is interesting. It is how you die and where. Floyd Collins was an example. PRODIGAL As Lew Fields humorously used to remark as the stage villain picked his pocket of a lifetime’s savings — “Easy come, easy go.” Lieutenant Osborn C. Wood, son of the distinguished General Leonard Wood, broke into headlines some months ago after cleaning up a fortune in Wall Street. Now he is back in print—this time broke. News comes from Spain that he may be extradited for passing worthless checks. To appreciate the value of money you must work for it. TESTS One thousand freshmen at the Pennsylvania State Col- lege this year took a psychological test to determine their general knowledge. They were required to answer 230 questions in 40 minutes. “Results were a little surprising in view of results college girls have been making in scholarship competition with men. The men students in, this test made an average score of 83.9 and women students 77.7. +: Many men will seize this bit of information as something that will give them a good laugh.- Let them—the laugh Igtely has been so much on the side of the other sex. i? COFFEE One and a third billion pounds of coffee entered the is full of the briiliant perform- ances of such animals as Axtel, Allerton, Croesus, Nancy Hanks, Uhlan and scores of others, ‘but it remained for that dainty little marvel of horseflesh, Lou Dilion, literally to set the racing world on fire. Lou Dillon’s career wpon the track was long and notable. A ‘poster announcing the horse’s ap pearance was sure to attract thou- sands to the race course, as she j ever, whether in competition or ex- hibition, gave the ‘best that was in her. For years she ruled a verit able queen of the turf, and to whis day her memory remains warm in ‘the hearts of the fanciers of the pacer anc the trotter. And at the end of the trail. in so far as ‘her racing days were concerned, her cwner, C. K. G. Billings, retired her to his farm near Santa Barbara, and there up to her twenty-seventh birthday a niversary, she lived a life of ease and contentment, in warm, com- fortable quarters during the night and in fieids of clover and beside ‘placid streams caring the sunlit ‘hours, Aerial defense probe has Its words for 10 weeks placed and} to end reached no conclusion. ended Navy says our aviators are all up in the air, Aviators claim our navy} is all at sea. That leaves our de- fense up a-tree. The Democratic party is out of debt, so we look for more predic- tions of the end of the world soon. They are still arguing over Muscle Shoals. Much water has gone over the dam since they started. A squirrel bit two people in A’- bany, Pa., and we can prove it. A started in Texas. talk. school for parrots has beer Teach them to Hope it eliminates the static. News from Turkey. Doctors have found a man with his heart on the right side. This will make the Greeks mad. A mad married man tells us the preacher should have asked him “Any previous military service?” Auto makers are seeing which car can do 1000 the fastest, but it isn’t that far to any golf links. It's an ill wind that blows no good. If radio worked perfectly all the time who would plant our crops? Deepest spot in the Atlantic is! 27,965 feet. What an excellent place to drop a saxophone overboard. Oxford (Miss.) man shot at a bas- ketball game. Shooter may plea he| thought the man was a referee. In Italy, they are digging for a buried village. We know where they can find a dead one without digging. ! Prince of Wales is going to South Africa. If he sees summer on the way he can tell her we have de- cided to keep spring. The*paper says a swindler caught in Chicago is wanted in Los Angeles, but hasn't Los Angeles enough of them? And, of course, the first breath of spring is spring onions. (Copyright, 1925, NEA Service, Inc.) ADVENTURE OF THE TWINS BY OLIVE ROBERTS BARTON said Mrs. Bear. “I want to buy a pair of shoes for my son Bus- ter to wear to the party, with nice loud squeaks in them.” She didn’t say that all the meadow- people and woods-people and every- body that was going to Mrs. Bunny's surprise party had only invited Buster on condition that he wear very squeaky shoes and leave the rest of his family at home. But it was a fact. That is what they had said—for they had decided that by wearing squeaky shoes, the Jittle fat bear boy could do no snoop- Gnited States last year. That’s about 55 billion cups, figur- ing at the rate of 40 cups to the pound, \ Despite steady rise in coffee prices during the year, im- , were higher than in 1928. Wholesale price of a stand- pd-brand was 11 cents in January, 1924. At the end of the Sear it had risen to about 24 cents. ! ’ -* If you have a bent for statistics it will interest you to ¥ i “estimate, consumes about 600 cups. of coffee yearly. * Summer is better than winter because in summer you I can:find the ice pick when you her a burgiar that each person in the United States, according to per |i" ing. And then everybody would feel perfectly safe and have a good time. Mister “Peg Leg looked at the Twins in a worried tone of voice—I mean in a worried manner. Squeaky shoes! He hadn't such a thing. They were as much out of fashion as bug- ee Seine THE ass BISMARCK TRIBUNE OUT OUR WAY KEEP THAT HEAD STILL SMonen, \ SAN CURIN! NOuURE SUPPOSED TO. WALK AFIerR THE BALL-NOoT A DRIVIN OFF - AN! other in surprise. They knew very | well that Mister Peg Leg had no} squeaky shoes in his pack, and how he could such a thing they couldn't unde nd! But they were soon to know all about it “Where is your son?” asked the peddler man looking around. “Ll go and get him ou can fit the shoes on him,” said Mrs. Bear. And out she went. “Quick!” cried Mister Peg Leg to the Twins. “Go out and get me two big crickets—loud chirpers and bring them f po The u tory, indeed!” they crie disappeared. When Mrs. Bear returned with Buster, everything was like apple pie again. You wouldn't know that anybody had moved. The fat little bear boy sat down and the little peddler man tried on a+ pair of shoes “Ouch! They hurt!” cried Buster. “They're too tight.” Off they came in a hurry, “Excuse me,” said Mister Peg Leg turning his back as he took out an- other pair of shoes. “I have to do a little magic trick to make the squeak work right.” But all he did was to take the crickets out of the first shoes and shove them away up into the toes of the second shoes where they wouldn't get squeezed too much. The second pair were just right. “Now walk in them,” said Mrs. Bear proudly. | So Buster walked across the room and at every ‘step the crickets chirped out, “Ouch—ouch—ouch— ouch! Although they weren't really hurt a bit. Only scared. j “If you take them off they will | stop squeaking,” said Mister Peg Leg, “so keep them on till you come | good time and Peg Leg got enough money to buy a new peg leg. (To Be Continued) (Copyright, 1925, NEA Service, Inc.) Portrait models in wax are the latest novelties in Paris. These fig- | ures are dressed and supplied with Jewels in imitation of their owners. RUSHING PELL- SICK ROOM. WHAT MEAN gy whips. But suddenly he heard a sound out the woods and he. began to grin a Jack o’ Lantern. “Yes’m, oh yes indeed, ma’am,” said he quickly. “I certainly have a fine pair of squeaky shoes. The yery finest pair of shoes outside of a squeak factory.” Nancy and Nick looked at each in will be at the Waldorf early Monday would go you. You were then on the verge vf quite) at the picture you made sit- as I came home from the party.” At that time I thought the world! shins, I have been picked up as “I will,” promised Bister Bear. |Was against me, but I was only] salvage and I hope 1am being towed So he went to the party and had a | drunk. By Williams SO re SRIAERS s Boss SEZ KILLIT. SO I SHOTIM ING “TH T- BONE WITHA, CAST IRON SKILUT. MOOPA “TODY YA rit W\ \ly a OY. , \i RTARTA VAIS I KNOW-BuT 4 BN TH’ Time I ure THIS MANGY HUMMIN' BIRDS AIG, ‘LL BE “OO FAGGED OuT ce UH BE WALKIN ate NY ‘ Se DON TE! ELEGRAM FROM MRS. PRESCOTT TO MRS. MARY ALDEN PRESCOTT LESLIE You see, Mamie, I thought no one in the world cared for me and I had received a great ragging from mx Jack will be at Waldorf a! 7| secretary that afternoon. She told lock Monday morning. You can|me that I was neglecting my busi- atch him between 7 and 8, My|ness and drinking too much, I was mother will also be there. She just drunk enough to think the world ng to join her son-in-law, ‘|| was all right again when you said ey, abroad, The babies xce| you were glad. id I am feeling almost as good When I asked you why you were gain, glad I was drunk, you answered: LESLIE. |“Drunken men may be divided into Telegram From Leslie Prescott to John Alden Prescott Have wired your mother that you two classes—good and bad-natured animals—and you're a good-natured} one. Please take me into your house. I'm hungry and very cold.” I took you in, Mamie, more per- haps because I was lonesome and filled with self-pity, than because you said you were hungry. I don't need morning, She wants to come over here. You had better bring her over with you after you have seen mother off, LESLIE. SATURDAY, MARCH 7, 1925 Imagination Our Moral Armor By Chester H. Rowell Dr. Winifred Stoner of New York facetiously points out that Mother Goose is one of the most immoral of writers. Tom, the Piper’s Son, is a thief; Old King Cole drinks. Not only does Taffy steal beef, but the slanderous poem voices the calumny that all Welshmen do likewise. And so on. i Of course! The same thing may be said of the children’s literature of all ages, and of the adult literature of the child- ish ages. Grimm’s fairly tales teach murder, theft and cheating. Alice in Wonderland is full of slaughter and crime. The Katzenjammer Kids are not only wicked, but dan- gerous. / They teach children that if they blow up teaciter with gunpowder, she will come down safely through the roof. Or, coming to the greater mythologies, Homer teaches. that it is honorable to kill and rob our enemies and to ravisk their wives. d The great northern epics are worse. Siegfried is born of. incest and practices highway robbery, as the only occupa- tion worthy of a gentleman and demigod. The interesting thing is that the outrageous immorali- ties are morally quite harmless. The imagination of chil- hood and of the childish ages is a self-protecting armor. It is not the wholesome riot of primitive unmorality, but , |the morbid decadence of modern. sophistication, that does jthe real harm. Since the Assyrian shepherds watched their flocks by night and looked upon the stars; since the priests of Ammon- Ra sighted both ways for the annually recurring day when: Sirius rose just at sunset; through Omar and Julius and Gregory, men have busied themselves with the calendar. Now comes the proposal before the League of Nations for a new year, of 13 months of exactly four weeks each, with an extra unnumbered day the first of the year, and two in to tell you at this time that I am a very selfish animal, Do you remember how we scur- ried around and found something to eat? That was the beginning. From being a poor little sick kit- ten, you became a gorgeous, playful, purring, sleek parlor cat. From the first, Mamie, you were my exhaust. I only went to the apartment I took for you when I was drunk or tired—when I wag in Letter From John Alden Prescott to Mamie Keeler Dear Mamie: Just received your note. I haven't been seeing you. lately because I have come to my. senses. You know that when we first’ met I told you that probably some day I s suddenly out of your life as I had come into it. The time has now come for the going. : ..|a state of silly self-pity, You were Mamie, I don’t think I have left! smusing. 1 told you the’truth about you any worse than when I found! myseif, I told: you I was a rotter and that some day I would leave you and go back to being respecta- ble. I'm sending you my check for five thousand dollars and this is goodby. I would feel more of a cad than I do, but you do not love me any more than I love you. We were derelict starvation. Your former lover hud left you. As I[ write this I am al- most smiling (not quite, Mamie, not ting on the front steps of my house, stumbling home from Canter's that night. into the port of ‘decent men again. Don't try to write me or see me. We are now snailing in totally dif- ferent directions, You looked so forlorn when you opened those great round eyes with fear and said: “Don’t give me over to the police, I'm just going, sir.” Then as I lurched against you, you remarked cagerly: you’re drunk.” “I am drunk, my girl,” I answered, “and I really believe you're glad.” JACK. Message From Mamie Keeler to the Office of John ‘Alien Prescott “I would like to speak to Mr. Pres- cot. “You say Mr, Prescott is not the offiee. When will he be in? “You don’t know? Please let me talk to someone who does know. I would like to speak to his secretary. “Is this Mr. Prescott's secretary? “Will you please let me speak to Mr. Prescott? “Oh, you say he is not in town? When will he be back? “You are not sure. “No, I'll not leave a message for him. I'M call him up— “Have you any idea where ‘he will be the middle af next week? It is quite important. Oh, at Atlantic City at the Tray- | Tel at really Weliovel ences in You SeTt- more Hotel? Thank you. I will write him there. . “You are sure that he will be there by Wednesday? 1 want him to get the letter-without fail. “Thank you. If I do not catch him there I will call him up. at his office the last of the week. ; “No, it isn't necessary for me to leave my name.” (Copyright, 1925, NEA Service, Inc.) t | In New York | es New York, March 7.—An effort at a cubistie word picture of ttis mo- dern Babel, if you please, but only a sketchy outline at best. The whole of the picture cannot be reproduced on one canvas nor'in many ‘vol- umes— ‘ Roar and rush.’ Sardine cans on wheels, the subways and elevateds. Underground demons and overhead monsters with an everlasting rumble that shatters the’ human. constitu- tion. Office girls standing at counters gulping doughnuts and coffee for breakfast...... Huprying, hurrying, hurrying. St ing~into great towers of stone in never-ending lines. Bent, broken old men doing the work ,Boys doing the, work . ‘Everybody after dol- lars. $$8$8$388$ Everybody for him- self, get the dollar, and the devil take the hindmogt. $$8$8$8883 . Fine clothes on vulgar bodies, both leap years. Every argument is in favor of the plan. It is the best, simplest and most practical calendar ever devised. But there is no emperor, and no tem- porally sovereign Pope, to decree it, and democracy clings to the old things. . OUR LOW ESTIMATE OF CONGRESS “Another monument to the fact that the United States is not willing to be governed by experts,” is Presi- dent Coolidge’s comment on the fu- tile report of his farm commission. It is doubtful, if the unwillingness is on the part of the people. Rather, it is 4 monument to the low estimate of the intelligence of their constitu- ents held by most congressmen. If we had some way to bring the judgment of the competent face to face with the carping of critics, the chances are that the jury of public opinion would find for the expert. One of the president's commission is to be the secretary of agriculture. A congressional committee can pigeon-hole the commission’s report, but opponents in Congress would have to make a real showing to de- feat the same proposals if responsi- bly presented, on the floor of Con- gress, by the secretary. And congressmen who now think that they can gain more votes by offering their constituents a plausi- bly painted stone than by giving them real bread, might find that after a real presentation of the truth, the votes would be on its gide. SUSPICIOUS OF EXPERTS It is true that suspicion of the ex- pert has always been a characteristic American fault. We trust mechanical experts, If * we want an electrical plant, we get an expert to design it. Some of us trust medical experts, but the others regard us as one sect and themselves as another, and in- sist that science and anti-science arc dogmas of equal right. Business is only gradually hesitatingly learning to trust Pperts. Government, which needs them most of all, actively distrusts them. Which means that government is still the most medieval of our men- tal processes. and ex: paid for in full$$$$$$$$Clothes make the man and woman here....Sham, hypocrisy, cynicism touching all... A dozen restaurants to the block. Thousands of living quarters to some blocks .Real homes few and far betwee open fireplace! !!! Jangle and clatter and noise. Taxi- cabs hub to hub and fender to fen- der, Hurrying, hurrying, hurrying —and getting no place Little boys chasing wind-blown hats to get a dime tip$$$$$$$$$$ Old women sitting in subway entrances till after midnight with pencils and chewing gum $$$$$$$$$ Short:change artists as cashiers in restaurants and shops$$8$$$8$$$ 4 Where's # green tree??? Or a:plot of grass?? Or a singing bird??? Or a breath of pure air? Where a moment of repose, of quiet cbntent? Gusty winds swirling about tall buildings filling the streets, and in- side the buildings wind-bags filling them with wind.... ., Talk, talk, Oh, for an; talk—mostly bluff about deals and dollars$$$$$$$$$ Everywhere you go you hear somebody talking about. a “big deal” they've just put over$$$$ Millions of lights on Broadway in garish, fantastic designs. Men play- ing god and feeding the devil. . Strect fakers..... Bookmakers. . Mendicants Gamblers$$$$$$$ Hard-boiledness.... Hard faces... Painted faces... Sin-seamed faces... Clang and clamor, roar and rush, hurry and scurry, buy and sell, cheat and sneak—reflections of a cynic in a world of eynics. —JAMES W. DEAN. : ls A Thought -—_— —_—_—— To speak evil of no man, to be no brawlers, but gentle, showing all meckness unto all men.—Titus 3:2 Ill deeds are doubled with an evil word.Shakespeare. After Mr. and Mrs, Jones decided that they would have a physical ex- amination made the coming Saturday afternoon, Mrs. Jones spent the two intervening days in wondering just what the doctor would find wrong. At times she had been sure she was suffering from some kind of heart trouble. And every time she read of a person dropping dead she was seized with a vague uneasiness. Now she was going down to see the doctor, and learn the worst, The thought almost frightened her. , And her husbifhd, too. What would she do if the doctor, after an examination, should tell him that he had but one year to live? FABLES ON HEALTH SEEING THE DOCTOR She had heard of doctors giving such messages as that. It had never seemed that she, herself, would be told this about her husband, not for a long, long time at least. But there were the Smith's, friends of Mrs. Jones, who lived over on Cherry street. For the last five years they had had the doctor look them over every year. They seemed proud of it. Every time the two families got together, Mrs, Smith would tell what the doc- tor said. . s “Well, some folk are just that way,” she mumbled to herself. “If the doctor tells them they have ap- pendicitis they want it published in the papers.” FORTUNATE (Florence Borner) There is a winsome little maid, Who stole my heant, and hid it, I have not found it to this day, And yet, I'll not fonbid it; Because I havé one in return, A heart that peats so shyly, It sets the joybelis ringing out, And makes ‘my face all smiley. ‘The evening when ‘I went to call, On Susie and her sister, I surely never, thot that Faie, Would hand nie such a twister; But when I once had -seen Sue's fac,e With dimples all around it, I wished to shout, right then and there! “Eureka, 1 ‘have: found it.” And, would you ask me what I found, That was so very (pleasing? A fittle girl, a pretty girl, With jbrown eyes full of teasing,- ‘Her cheeks were like two roses red, She looked just lke a fairy, I feared that she would float away, She seented eo; light and airy. And 80, our «wedding day is set, ‘Then Sue will wear the token. Ly true, heants with froken; ‘And never will te ts Love's sweet chains, _ Appin 1 am @ lucky bloke, Fortune's sitte’ al) Jaden, . . and ‘won for mine, ‘ i ttle maiden... 3 : te eet 1 iS ‘ \ 2