The Bismarck Tribune Newspaper, September 4, 1924, Page 2

\ THE BISMARCK TRIBUNE iintered at the Postoffice, Bismarck, N. D., as Second Class Matter. BISMARCK TRIBUNE CO. : : : Foreign Representatives G. LOGAN PAYNE COMPANY Publishers CHICAGO Marquette Bldg. PAYNE, BURNS AND SMITH NEW YORK : - - - Fifth Ave. Bldg. MEMBER OF THE ASSOCIATED PRESS The Associated Press is exclusively entitled to the use or republication of all news dispatches credited to it or not otherwise entitled in this paper and also the local news pub- lished herein. 4 All rights of republication of special dispatches herein are also reserved. MEMBER AUDIT BUREAU OF CIRCULATION SUBSCRIPTION RATES PAYABLE IN ADVANCE Daily by carrier, per year. DETROIT Kresge Bldg. Daily by mail, per year (in Bismarck) .........1..0..+ 720 Daily by mail, per year (in state outside Bismarck).... 5.00 Daily by mail, outside of North Dakota.............. 6.00 THE STATE’S OLDEST NEWSPAPER (Established 1873) NOT IMPRESSED WITH “CHARLIE” Mrs, Clem Shaver, wife of the chairman of the Demo- sratic National Committee, is not impressed with “Charlie” Siyan as a running mate for the conservative, John W. Davis. In endorsing Coolidge’s defense day plans she scores the pacifist tendancies of the Nebraska governor. In a most spirited letter printed recently in the New York Times, Mrs. Shaver indicates that the southern women are not pacifists and do not like the attitude of Mr. Bryan upon what she considers a most vital public undertaking. She reflects probably what a large number of conserva- tive democrats are thinking. They admire Davis but’ they realize the menace to their political ideals if some twist in 1 fortune should land a Bryan in the White House. . Davis probably will be embarrassed by his political bedfellow as the campaign progresses. But extremes touch so frequently in politics that the voters refuse to be aroused as they see through the expediency of the democratic ar- rangement which linked a Davis with a Bryan-almost as incangruous as a Cabot Lodge-Magnus Johnson alignment. But Davis is carrying the handicap nobly and as a perfect southern gentleman should. DEFENSE DAY Defense Day would have stirred up little discussion except in a presidential year. Politicians have seized upon President Coolidge’s plan of taking stock, as it were, of the national defense, to release reams of propaganda, some even mildly hinting that another war is in the offing. No true, loyal red-blooded American, foreign born on native, will be de- ceived by the demagogues and pacifists. There is no militar- istic flourish contemplated in Defense Day. It is merely a necessary and vital step in the general policy of prepared- ness, not necessarily for war but more for the preservation of peace. North Dakota by all means should support the Defense Day plans which really are essential peace plans. Despite the attitude of William and “Charlie” Bryan, the Coolidge policy reflects the best ideals in the United States and makes for national peace and safety immeasureably more than the soap box arguments of the pacifists whose attitude during the days previous to our participation in the World War cost this nation many millions in lives and in money, GORILLAS Our distant relative, the gorrilla, is in danger of extinc- tion. Jungle explorers say there’s only one big herd of these hairy monsters left, numbering not more than 100. Why worry about it? They wouldn’t be vanishing if such weren’t nature’s plan. Like the buffalo and passenger pigeon and dinosaur, the gorrilla had his function in crea+ tions. That function is unknown, but apparently it’s no longer needed. Nature destroys the unnecessary, as ruth- peasy a8 she strikes down those who fail to do as she in- tended. CHINA In Chinese movies, instead of passing ice water, patrons are handed steaming hot towels by ushers, for wiping faces and hands. An interpreter, standing near the screen, ex- plains the captions and situation in Chinese. Returned travelers say the Chinks like comics and action pictures, especially Wild West. They are bored by love scenes, tri- angle plots, sex entanglements. As we come increasingly into economic contact with the orient, we'll observe that the yellow race has about as much emotion as a pail of putty. China is an old man, America a youth. TRAVELERS On a tour of the world, started in 1919, Mr. and Mrs. Frank M. Richards of Los Angeles have already covered over 216,000 miles. Five more years’ of travel ahead: So far they’ve used the auto for nearly 200,000 miles, which is a revelation in Good Roads. A century from now, trips of this length by airplane will be common. Nearly all of us miss a lot by being able to see only a small part of this world before’ we pass on’ to'the next. Civilization at pres- ent has us in what amounts to penitentiary cells. Airplane will unlock the doors, 100 times more so than the auto. PRICES Cost of living is 62 per cent higher than before the war —$1.62 needed to buy what cost $1 in July, 1914. For rents the figure’ is 85 instead of 62. These’ are latest statistics from National Industrial Conference Board. They cover the needs of a wage-earner with five in family. And they represent an average for the whole country. In some dis- tricts, the cost of living is higher, in other it’s lower. * Only consolation is that the long-range tendency is down- ward. BRILLIANT Dyes, injected into North Carolina trees at the roots, are drawn up and saturate the whole tree. In 10 days, the tree is cut down—and the lumber is embalmed with perma- nent. colors that cannot even be'boiled or steamed out. It’s’ a: clever idea, and it will help the imitators of.ma- hogany and other expensive furniture. Some’ one ‘will make: a lot of money out of the process: There are millions of such opportunities waiting for the eyes that can see them: | QUEER To win bets, there is no limit to man’s foolishness. A ‘Dutchman passes through Paris, traveling 15,000 kilometers pects-to’ finish the’ trip early next year. Why evér'consider life dull when there is plenty of World Vaudeville likethis? ‘Half the world are squirrels, Editorial Review Comments reproduced in this column may or may not express the opinion of The Tribune. They are presented here in order that our readers tah have both sides of important issues which are Peng discussed in the (press je day. ALL IN THE SAME BOAT. (Salvation Rrmy, Butte) A droopy passenger traveling on! a through train in the West just as winter turned to spring amused himself for a hundred miles by} counting the number of farm im- plements left deserted and uncov- ered in the fields, at the mercy of sun, wind, rain and snow. This is the record: Reapers, | 69; mowers, 61; hay rakes, 45; | grain drills, 46; wagons, 49; farm engines, 17; h balers, 7; ditch- ers, 5; disk harrows, road- } making machines, 7; tractors, 32; threshing outfits, 8. | These in a strip about half a} mile wide along one side of the} track. It’s fair to assume that} there were as many on the other | side. That means, within 100 square miles, 758 pieces of farm machinery unprotected—seven and a half to every 640 acres. Several men on the train esti- | mated their average value at $200 “a total of $151,000—and figured the depreciation due to a winter's exposure at 10 per cent. Figure it for yourself. Here was a loss of $150 for every section of land, or 23 cents an acre. Multiply this by the number of acres in America devoted to agri- culture and you'd have a sum that would make even Andrew Mellon jump. And no one gets anything out of it, except those who make more machines. To be sure, lum-. ber to cover implements costs money, but not so much as reap- ers and drills. Farmers are no more indifferent toward thrift than other persons, but they have more opportunities to be wasteful than some. A million motorists never adjust the carburetor. Singers break the backs of songbooks {n order to WHAT ARE YOU GIRLS GOING To Do Now ? “THAT BOBBED HAIR IS GOING That’s What Makes ’Em Wild peY PEGGIE / | HEAR Out OF STYLE WELL WINNIE 7 Yodre Au OTA LUCK, ainicHa 2? HAVE You HEARD THAT BOBBED HAR 1S GONG OUA SNe ? eS, ‘Sleo BAD You WenT AND HAD YOUR HAN CUT, MILLIE. BOBBED HAIR, Y’KNOW, 1S GONG OUA Site ! i { —- NOW, NOW LADIES / No Fak Town’ BRICKS / have a hand free to pat the hair. Fr Locomotives blow off steam when the fireman does not care. Cooks burn enough soup bones to feed a got down on her knees to megsure Belinda Bunny. “Oooo! Ouch!” said the little bunny metropolis. Faucets leak and we| gir) wiggli 1 “Ej % 3 , ling all over. “I just can’t pay by the meter. Shoes crack if! stand still. These bites are some- not oiled. The spare room is thing fierce.” Just then they heard Mrs, Bunny say, “I'll take four yards of this orange silk with the red and purple stripes.” (To Be Continued) (Copyright, 1924, NEA Service, Inc.) e heated—no one shuts the radiator. We throw paper into the street and hire men to pick it up. Our dinner plates go back covered with: food and the garbage man.comes twice a week. When the wheat farmer neglects his machinery, everyone pays more for bread. When the motorist burns too much gas, we pay high- er taxi fares. When the cook does not care, hotels charge it to the guest. Wasted .steamf and ‘wasted food show red in every bank ac- count. Waste is an affair of in- escapable mutuality. We cannot avoid its results; we.can avoid IT. Often a salvaged coat or pair of shoes spells the difference be- tween happiness and misery for some human being. It pays to save. ADVENTURE OF THE TWINS BY OLIVE ROBERTS BARTON BELINDA BUNNY GETS A DRESS “NANCY, NICK & COMPANY,” were soon doing a big business in the little shop in the woods. As Mrs. Bunny said, Belinda for one was as ragged as a rag-bag, She had been visiting her cousins, the Cottontails, all summer, and she had just got home and a sight she was. And if the Twins hadn't started in business when they did, Belinda would have had to stay in bed. “I just told her,” saig Mrs. Cotton- tail, “I just said to Belinda, I said; ‘You're a disgrace, so you are. Mas- ter Scribble Scratch woh’g think of letting you id ito. * looking like a s¢aresetew. “diesn't like any fancy do-funnies, he does like children to be clean and neat.’ For goodness sake—what’s the mat- ter with you? You're scratching like an old hen. What’s wrong?” “It’s mosquito bites, ma”, said Be- linda, scratching her leg with the toe of her other foot. “The mos- quitoes at Aunt Carrie Cottontail’s | house were something awful, so they were. She didn’t have any screens or mosquito netting over her win- dows and I got all bit up.” “I think it’s time school was starting,” said Mrs, Bunny ino shocked voice, “Your grammar is dreadful, Bit up! What kind’ of talk’s that?” “But they do itch something aw- ful,” said poor Belinda, scratching a bite under her chin, the time I was vaccinated.” Yust then Ben Bunny Jr. stuck his head in at the door and sang out: “She's got the hives and she’s awful fat, And she’s come back home where her baby-doll’s at.” t “Get along with you,” cried Mrs. Bunny rushing over to the door. “Its, your turn next, young ‘man. And your grammar is worse than your sister's. Baby-doll's at! I feel like fainting.” “What.kind of a dress would you like to have for her?” asked Nancy, who felt sorry for Mrs, Bunny with such harem-scarem children, “I think I'll have a striped dress cut on the bias, trimmed with polka- dots and chiffon. Something plain, like that,” said Mrs. Bunny. “I never did believe in fancy things for children.” “All, right,” said Nancy, who thought it was pretty fancy after all in spite of whit the rabbit lady go against what customers wanted, no matter how it sounded to you. please,” she said, “and Mister Snip Snap will show you some of the dress goods. You can buy whatever measure while you are gone.” “All right,” said Mrs. Bunny, bustling away. | ee It’s worse’n |, said. But she knew that you couldn’t | “Just step to the back of the store, | Anything can happen. They’ ar- rested a prizefighter in Los Angeles instead of a movie star. ’ The glacier on Mt. Shaster is melt- ing this summer, But that’s noth- ing. Everybody is doing it. Another American reported kid- naped by Mexicans for ransom got a chance and ran some himself. Thirty thousand coal miners are striking in Brussels, so perhaps it is just our annual coal strike tour- ing abroad this year. In Brazil the rebels have been forced to evacuate Piraju, but shouldn’t mind much giving up a town named that. A cement plant burned in Rag- land, Ala., so there may be a short- age of heads for congressional blocs next time. And in Anniston, Ala., when a so- ciety woman started to sing jthe Piano toppled over, but failed to get away. : A pessimist is a politician discuss- ing what the other side has done. Some take too much trouble in making pleasure and others too much pleasure in making trouble. In Spokane a bank cashier shot himself over his monthly total, so you might say he was a total wreck. Fall is coming and the midiron will give way to the gridiron, A woman from New Orleans took poison while in New York, but this was not the reason. Two were injured in Cincinnati girl looked better than the road. In__ Louisville, Ky., caught bootlegging, so we should have a law. against minors bootlegg- ing. A new aeroplane is designed to travel 300 miles an hour, which is almost as fast as bills come in. argue about your sanity. You would think the two Chicago murderers were runni for office, the way their past has been dug up. (Copyright, 1924, NEA Service, Inc.) | A Thought: i o—_—_—__- Love worketk no ill‘ to hisneigh~ bor; therefore love is the fulfilling of the law.—Rom. 13:10, Love can hope, where would despair.—Lyttelton. reason | Camphor Water For Bee. Nothing has the quick action of tis, ete., as mixed in Lavoptik eye! wash. One small bottle Lavoptik | helps any case .wesk; straisted. or. ne eyes. because an auto driver thought a]. a boy was|" The sad thing about committing |* a murder is having so many people | | simpl itehhazel,: hydras- by:turning somersaults.’ He started last November and ex- | you like and Til take your daughter's | tig ecg ener ee tenhazel,” hydras- |, stig ds Aluminum eye cup free. Naney got her tape-mesaure’ anit} dq Breslow, druggist.—Adv, y LETTER FROM JOHN ALDEN PRES- COTT TO SYDNEY CARTON I'm enclosing you a letter from my mother-in-law, old chap—not for publication, but as an earnest of my good faith. Besides, I want you to understand perfectly how well I stand with my in-laws. It really seems to me as though everybody is conspiring to make lit- tle Jack a rich man. With Mr. Ham- ilton making him a legatee and Paula Perier dividing her salary with him, and of course Leslie wanting to give him everything that I will have to leave, it logks to me as if that boy had certainly been born with a silver spoon in, his mouth, although his mother nearly starved to death be- fore his coming. Before you make any suggestions about my going over to take on the Hamilton business, I want to tell you that I shall not do it. It might be a great opening for me, but I know nothing about steel, and 1 do know the advertising business and I know I shall make a great deal of money in it. It can be did, and I’m the guy that can do it if necessary. I guess you called the turn on Les-j lie’s sister. I've hunted all over the house for that anonymous letter, but can’t find it. I remember. the day I was quarreling with Leslie over it I had it in my hand, but I don’t re- member it since. I suppose she found it and has hidden it away from me. I read that part of the letter in which Mrs. Hamilton speaks about my going into the firm to Mrs. Ath- erton. When I finished she said quickly: “You're not going to do it, are you, Mr. Prescott?” “I thought you would advise me to," I remarked, a “I wouldn’t advise any person to step into an easy job,” she said. “If Mr. Hamilton retired and left you at the: head cf the busjness, he still would have a feeling that you should come to him for advice and sugges- tions. He is a very wonderful man, Mr. Prescott, but I don’t think you would be happy with anyone to whom you felt under obligation. You have much the same disposition in that regard that I have. “You know I am under ob] to your wife for my first job Sam went blind, with her. father, and I’m ashamed to say it: has always irked me, that I have never been as free with Leslie since. 1 never can help thinking when I am with her that I owe perhaps all my success in life to her, and I don’t want to do so. I want ‘to be independent of every- bady. “I think one can see from what {you have read me from Mrs. Hamil- ton’s letter, that the one thing which gives him most pride in you is the fact that you have never asked him for help, and I think he will have more regard and respect for you if you even refuse this find offer. “Your books show at the present moment that you're getting along fine, and I see no reason why next year you could not go in business for yourself.” I tell you, Syd, that girl has got a lot of common sense. I don’t know why it is, but I ean take her advice}! much better than I can Leslie’s, who, by the way, has often told me about the same thing. Isn't it strange that a man will talk over his business Problems oftener with another wom- an than he does with his wife? And he certainly will take her advice i Perhaps it is because he thinks she disinterested in him— or perhaps it is because he is flat- tered by her interest in him. I expect after this letter from Mrs. Hamilton’ PMs have" to” go’ over and see the Hamiltons. ‘ Sincerely, JACK. (Copyright, 1924, NEA Service, ‘Inc.) s | where DEATH OF LAUGH PREDICTED By Albert Apple A dreary future, in which no one will ever laugh, is pre- dicted by Dr. Charles Gray Shaw, who teaches philosophy at New York University. Many signboards point that way. | People certainly: do not laugh as much as they used to. !Comedians in recent years have been complaining that j audiences are kecoming more solemn, with the “Dare you to make me smile” attitude. { This is due partly to.the war, which took most of the joy ‘out of life and shocked people into serious attitude. But; jeven more, it’s a result of publicity. In former generations, | jokes traveled slowly, were carried about by theatrical troup- {ers and drummers. Today the new joke on Broadway -is ‘carried by newspapers, vaudeville, and radio all over the ‘country, and quickly. Naturally, with such fast circulation, the life of a joke is shorter. Then, too humor has become a scientific business. Hundreds of clever comic artists and column conductors ;ave on the alert for new “gags.” The old ones have been jclassified, rehashed, disguised, served time and again. ; Every one knows them—except the rising generation. - But scientific distribution of available humor is not what | Shaw had in mind when he predicts a future without laughs. | Primitive man, he says, didn’t know enough to laugh, since wit involved a certain amount of intelligence. “The men of the future will know too much to laugh at anything. We laugh at what we do not understand, or at | what seems inferior to us. In both cases, our pride induces |} us to assume an exalted position and haughty air. Men used to laugh at Columbus and Galileo. Now they try to joke jabout Kinstein and Freud. “On the social side we are prone to laugh at people who appear inferior or who are forced to assume degrading posi- tions. The prince laughs at the pauper. The city person snickers at the rustic. The native citizen smiles at the im- jmigrant. But these are only the signs of incongruities and inequalities which the future will remove.” Laughter, as Shaw views it, is a characteristic of man in his present stage of mental development. When men become more intelligent, he expects, they’ll laugh less. How often {do you see a scientist or highbrow laugh? However, if the future has nothing in its existence to grin about, it can always look back and laugh at us. New York, Sept. 4.—Chop-suey is being given its first place in the midnight sun on Broadway The aristocratic Pa Royale, Paul Whiteman jazzed to every one of the establishments were losing money. No attempt was made to reopen them after government officials closed them.’ fame, Maurice and Hughes danced to “phs” and “ahs,” and where an auto- cratic head waiter inspected the so- cial register before admitting pros- pective guests, is to be a Chinese restaurant. Slant-eyed waiters will replace the bowing and scraping. servants of former days, ‘and monogramed linen, silver ang china, will, be, replaced with the flowered variety of table pottery and cutlery. The Palais Royale, probably the best-known and the most popular of New York’s supper clubs was pad- locked some months ago, along with seven others, for alleged violations of the Volstead act. It was intimated at the time that despite the high Four brothers entering New York in their automobile in which they were returning from a tour to the when Pacific coast, were injured their ear was wrecked by They ain’t had a single n their long transcontinental journey. Which only proves, you never can tell. Edward Cleary, posing as a deaf mute to sell porous plasters, picked a dandy place to display his wares. It was at a picnic of mutes. “Well, I guess you've got the goods on me,” were the first words he spoke after police officers had examined him for five days. “Thirty day§,” said the judge—and Cleary heard him. ~-Stephen Hannagan. FABLES ON HEALTH: AVOIDING COLDS °* | Looking at the calendar, Mr. Jones; noids in youth. Such conditions not realized that the fall season was fast | only predispose to colds, but open slipping in upon Anytown. |the possibility of infection of the Leaves had begun to brown and| bone cavities. the lush green of the grass was be-| For this reason they should bée coming a deep gold. attended to at the earliest possible By way of anti-climax to this | moment. pastoral scene, Mr. Jones sneezed. It} All who “suffer from recurrent brought suddenly to his realization | colds should take the precaution of that with fall, comes the season|having nasal troubles attended to when he was most susceptible to|before the winter sets in. colds. a In many the susceptibility to colds BEATING EGGS is caused by abnormalities in the| Never use your silver spoon for nose and throat. Nasal obstruction |beating up an egg or a dish of bat- is a very common condition. ter. Wooden, tin and iron are much Frequently they comé from ade- | cheaper. pyices_which were charged that EVERETT TRUE ‘GH, Dear, iv s 4 tececram $ 3 JUST KNOW IT’S SOMETHING. DRCADFULY PD: <C a YES, WOMAN, FOR Once You/ee RiGaT — Your MOTHER 4ND MY MOTHERS? INeCAW' IS COMING To VISIT US AGAIN! BY CONDO DAKOTA, MY OWN STATE , (Florence Borner) I love her prairies, wide and frée, -Her wheat fields broad and vast, Her ‘Badlands,’ too appeal to me, They speak of grandeurs past; T_love her skies of azure blue, ‘Hey sunshine’s yellow gold, The birds; which sing the whole day thru, Their storfes never told I love each tiny flower that sends, Its fragrance on tlhe air, And with the scent of grasses blerds, A perfume rich’ and rare; T love her in her many moods, Iv sunshine and in’ rain, No’ sense of Worldliness intrudes, To make her proud and vain. 1 lové her im her daylight hours, And’ in’ her blissful nights, T love het myriads of stars, With: genr incrustéd lights; T love the moon whose ‘silver strand, Appears the shining lane, ‘Traversed ‘by feet of fairy ‘hand, 7 To moral ‘eyes ungeen. I love her winds’ that fall and rise, In sweetest harmony, > Like angel hosts in Paradixé, Chanting in, ecstacy; Her. zephyrs, pire ard heaven sent, Bring peace unto the heart, And blended deep with sweet content, ‘Tranquility: impart. I love her sunset best. of all, Her purples, blues and greens, Seem Eden like before the Fall, Too fair for earthly scenes! oe Perhaps some rainbow, lost:ig- space, With all its: colorg rare, Netermined thus to fini’ a place, To hang refulgent there, “Dakdta honte' of Freedom, iblest, ‘Art thou beyora all ken, Sagi Thou art the ‘home of Liberty, ‘Of ‘deed, of thought, of pen; : ) Thou hast the noble heritage, * Sigh ‘Of: Reason’ firm’ tndsound,, veulos 2id$ galas Sought after by both youth and age— o's °» And very seldom found, i