The Bismarck Tribune Newspaper, January 15, 1924, Page 2

cS P, wine PAGE TWO ° CHE BISMARCK Intered at the Postoffice, Bismarck, N. D., as Second Class Matter. TRIBUN! sISMARCK TRIBUNE CO. - < - Publishers Foreign Representatives G. LOGAN PAYNE COMPANY CHICAGO - - - - - DETROIT Tarquette Bldg. PAYNE, BURNS ¢ Kresge Bldg. D SMITH Fifth Ave. Bldg EW, YORK Allrights of republication of special dispatches herein are uso reserved. s MEMBER AUDIT BUREAU OF CIRCULATION SUBSCRIPTION RATES PAYABLE IN ADVANCE Jaily by carrier, per Year........ qeee ca Sve ee BUG2O. Jaily by mail, per year (in Bismarck). . sui ns 7.20 Jaily by mail, per year (in state outside Bismarck) 5.00 Jaily by mail, outside of North Dakota...... ‘ 6.00 THE STATE’S OLDEST NEWSPAPER (Established 1873) THE WORST EVER An old-time drummer in a hotel lobby, the other nigh aid: “During the recent cold wave, in every town I dropped nto they told me they had just had the coldest weather ince 1870. ve heard the same thing about summer—hottest spell ince 1870. T even recall one town where they began telling ne they'd just had the worst earthquake since 1870. Every- vhere I go, it’s the same old story. People seem to date trom 870, same as the Trish date from the Night of the Big Wind xv the Year of the Potato Rot. I'll say that 1870 must have veen a bearcat of a year. I’m glad I was‘too young to realize { at the time.” J This old-time drummer is on an interesting trail. And here are two answers for him. First, when people say 1870 hey really mean 1873. That was the year of the worst hard imes this country of ours ever had. You could buy any- hing for a dollar. But almost nobody had the dollar. | Naturally, the year 1873 stuck indelibly in the nation’s ‘nemory as the arch-demon of all things evil. Every year jvas compared with 1873. As time passed, folks compared j vith the early seventies. Now it’s 1870 for short. Another thing: It’s almost exactly half a century since | hat disastrous year, 1878. Anda great many things seem o run in year cycles, repeating every 50 years with that hythmie regularity which Herbert Spencer, the English shilosopher, discovered js characteristic of all history.’ Every alternate generation gets caught in the cogs when he wheefs complete the 50-year turn. Panic in 1878. Hard imes approximately a half century later. Big war previous .o the panic of 1873. Big war previous to our recent de- »ression. Maybe the way to dope the future is to turn back 50 years in the newspaper files. a ANOTHER PEACE PLAN We still maintain that the quickest way to bring eternal yeace is this plan: Pass a law in every important country, vy which ev politician, diplomat, office-holder, editor, »rator or clergyman who voted for war or stirred up war sentiment would have to join the army as a private and go o the front in the first ranks \it is not human natyre for a man to vote to send himself 0 battle. The system is to vote to send others, with rare »xceptions. This is why field glasses were invented. Unfortunately, this plan is impossible. Politicians never vould stand for it. So let's get down to earth and study the 3ok plan carefully. NIGHT INTO D: Talk about turning night into da A tremendously rowerful Sperry arlight is successfully tried out at Mitchei tield, Long Island. This light has five milBion candle power ind is so bright in a dark night that houses a mile and a half iway are clearly visible. New York reporters watched this phenomenal exhibition, hen went back to their offices and seemed most impressed vith_the fact that it makes night baseball possfble. The notion, that Americans take things too seriously, is me of the original jokes. Too bad. Pharaoh couldn’t have ‘,eard it along with the famous seven invented by his jester. PET ANNOYANCES | What is your chief annoyance at present? Be glad you’re 1ot Mrs. Elsie Silva, widow, in Boston. Christmas Day, irowsy after a big dinner, she yawned—and her jaw snap- xed out of place. A doctor fixed her up. But the same thing iappened again, five times. Every time she’d yawn, the| , aw would dislocate. As this is written, Elsie has gone to a| ‘.ospital to see if she can get permanent repair She'll certainly have something to talk about, for the est of her life. What a pity, this malady couldn’t be ex- ended and applied to political orators to take effect as soon s they opened their mouths. a Het. AGE ‘OF INCONOCLASTS To disprove a generally accepted idea, some people would e willing to travel to the “ends of the earth” and devote a ‘ vhole/lifetime to it. We live in an age of iconoclasts—and + good thing, for much of our knowledge is inherited and ‘ alse, high time to revise. + A museum official has just disproved the ancient line } bout a rattlesnake always giving warning before it strikes. _ hetmuseum man collected 45 desert diamond rattlers near { ‘ueson, Arizona, and only two of them rattled a warning } vheh approached. ¢ ! + I LARGE INDUSTRY Every day the people of the world light nearly 13 billion yatehes, or seven fot every man, woman and child. Went | lways had a hazy notion that match-making Was a small | ‘adystry, compared with the major activities. So it surprised dig to learn that the world’s people pay. 200 million dollars year for matches, and that here in the United States alone sho thillion dollars is invested in match-making equipment. ‘ '| Qh, well, nearly.every man is an fgnoramus outside his ‘wnt business. a : CURE? | Two eastern medical experts, of high standing; claim hhave discovered a way to inject a mercury compound the Blood and thereby double the number of white cor- which fight disease bacteria. vl ne AiG th Te . TR nated eache vie! Russia has recog MEMBER OF THE ASSOCIATED PRESS Hee ates Grister te Rowapaenal ssociated Press is exclusively entitled to the use or], ans of practical! edu ation of all ne dispatches credited to it or not {Through this iota the go Sue laa cra} ‘ . et also the - vi .|ment is inculeating on young ace credited in this paper and also the local news pub aleste “JHCOHINGLION convene is erein. the acute questions cf the day. THE BISMARCK TRIBUNE .. EDITORIAL REVIEW Comments reproduced in this column may or may not express the opjnion of The Tribune. They are ented here in order that 8 may have both sides important issues which are of being discussed in the press of the day. a NEWSPAPERS AS EDUCATORS Because of the expense of ob- taining’ books and building schools and the scarcity cof competent | ‘The idea was borrowed from the Australian province of Queens- land, where it was put into practice in 1905 for reasons similar to those in Russia. The-soviet policy, how- r, will show an improvemect ause it will be a daily feature, whereas the Aust venture Was mont oviet. decision, though a iand where Comnuniim The ‘heen apparent to r since the origin of | paper. Inadequaie in; deed would be the education of any child in the United States who should be deprived of the pews and feitures of thé family papers. Pe nd Oregon Journal | THE BRIDGER SUIT “Virginia Bridger Hahn of Kansas City, daughter of the famous plain: man and guide, “Jim” Bridger, has brought a suit for $1,000,000 against the motion picture company which produced Covered Wogan,’ claiming because the old man is pictured as drinking whiskey | and flirting with a couple of squaws. aes She wants a million doilars beeause the producers did not pin a white ribbon in the button-hole of | Jim Bridger's buckskin jacket and put a Gideon's Bible in his hip pocket instead of a flask of Jamaica rum. | “The Independent has no desire to prejudice the case and keep the' doesn’t come home to woman and her attorney from di-! laughed Wynken~ viding the million dollars, but if any-| “And won't he catch it for dis- one is guilty of libel against the gracing himself and going to sleep memory of Old Jim Bridger, it is right out on the street!” grinned Mrs. Virginia Bridger Hahn and her | Blynken. Kansas City lawyer. It is a libel) Well, Mister Sprigg slept on and | on the memory of any plainsman to/ on, never noticing that the sun was allege, even in a court complaint,! getting lower and lower and that ne that he did not have guts enough should be starting home in order to to drink red raw liquor and pinch get there in time for Dame Sprigg’s the voluptuous squaws until blushes meal. If there was one thing that showed through their well smoked she hated more than anything else, 'skins and their breath eame hot and it was to ‘have her friend potatoes fast.”—Helena Mont., Independent. jand scrambled eggs and hot muffins and coffee get cold. Re————S ; Now Johnnie Small had a new ADVENTURE OF gun. It wasn’t an air rifle, but a THE TWINS | real one that shot real lead bullets. His mother and daddy didn’t approve , By Olive Roberts Barton Wynken and Blynken, the Sand- lof it at all, but his uncle had given jit to him for his birthday, so what were they to do. ‘ And like most boys with guns, he went out to see what he could shoot. man’s two helpers, were always play-|But there wasn’t a thing in sight in ing jokes on somebody. Mother Goose Land — I mean in They were snooping around Daddy Gander Land the day after the cir- cus looking for a good chance to play a joke, When they came upon Mister John Spriggs sitting on a supper!” Daddy Gander Land. —/ He was on his way home when suddenly on turning a corner, he | came upon Mister Sprigg, sleeping— you know how. And his wig toppling off her head—all but. And what did Johnny Small do | but lift his rifle to his eye and pull | ered Wynken to Blyn- ken you got any extra|the trigger. Bang! i stains oflcledus, candapout out Away went the wig and up jumped | “WD!” said Bhinken, “i'l look | Mister Sprigg as though he'd been and see. Yes, here are half a dozen | Shot. And so he was—nearly. “My! My! I must have been doz- grains I had left over from last night ‘ fi Bp aa TiC ERE Gibson dng (eatveeeicoalockinevavinitieravehl when I couldn't find the Old Shoe Woman's six oldest children. They'd]! must hurry or Susan will be eoneltouneamoyiecte peeved. I see my wig has dropped “Fine!” dectared Wynken. “Let's | of. Will you please get it for me, | | | i young fellow?” to Nick who passing. put them to sleep.” Was So the two Tittle rascals crept nearer and nearer and when they got quite close, Blynken took the six grains between his finger and thumb —— and blew! >——_—_________., Tt wasn't more ‘n two minutes till | | A THOUGHT Mister Sprigg was sound asieep. His head went lower (To Be Continued.) Wopyright, 1924, NEA Service, Inc.) | «| l) * Refuse profane and old wives’ | fables, and exertise thyself rather unto godliness Tim, 4:7. down lower and and lower until it rested quite on his chest, his funny wig hanging about his ears as though it would fall off at every snore. Then away skipped the two little sand fairies, chuckling with delight at their joke. “Won't Missez Sprigg be cross, though, when her husband Begin by regarding. everything | from a moral point of view,-and you | will end by believing in God.—Dr. ! Arnold. j SfhioTansles LETTER FROM LESLIE PRESCOTT TO HER HUSBAND, JOHN i ALDEN PRESCOTT Dad and mother came this’ morn- ing, dear John, and poor dad is look- ing pretty thin. I 1m quite surc the journey across will do him*a tot of good, Jadg, if you could see how de- lighted they are witn Junior it would make you very happy. Dad took him to his heart at once and the baby put up his hands, grabbed his mus- tache and fairly hung onto it, which of course pleased dad more than anything else in the worl In fact, it been impossible for mother and me ti get him sway from the boy for one minute. He even wanted to take him down to the dining-room for luncheon yester- day, and when I told him it was against the rules oft the house, he almost left the hoiel’ because he would not haye bis grandson classed with dogs and pariots and other such animals. Jack, dad is growing old. I never realized it until seciag him this time. You see I haven't «ven him since he was ill and he scems to have aged years instead of weeks. You forgot to say goodby to me, Jack, and it has made me very un- happy. What did we quarrel about anyway? I have forgotten and I only know that I would be very mis- erable if you and I should hate many differehces. : Mother and dad both asked about you and they are so very glad you are getting along well in your busi- Now don’t you feel set up? I saw by the papers this morning that moving picture in which - Miss} Perier stars has already made two millior dollars for its producer Someone told me the other day, thi you had beaued her around quite a little. Just think, you might have! been a multimillionaire soon if you had married her! i In these days of moving picture salaries, one‘never knows if the wait- ress who serves one buckwheat cakes and maple sirup in the morn-! ing will not be riding in a limousine! at night—providing some director has admired the graceful way in which she spilled his coffee down his back. Dear, I have rambled on just the way I talk to you when you come home from the office at night. I hope you are not angry with me any more, dear, for I want you to! know that, you would be just perfect if you let me have a little say in| what I want to do. Why, Jack, do| you reulize that in all the time we! have been married, even when we have gone out to a restaurant, you| have always said to’me, “Order any- thing you want, dear. Let’s have a| beefstcak,” and we have always eaten! gteak, Dont laugh at me, dear. I could never tell you that, but I always wanted something else. Not espec- ly’ beeause I ‘was not fond of ‘steak, but just because I really did want to have Something to say about my own food. / this is truc. Bat we're increasingly inmpressed Span number of marvelous medical discoveries that jer are heard of again, When an engineer or scientist Wises. something he generally delivers the goods. ness. Father likes you particularly| Think it over, Jack, because after Sf Se Se | See My, Oh My! Isn’t Het {a bottle-bat, 1i he Playful Rascal EXTRA! 0-0H, GOSH! EXTRA! ; | Help! Fire! Murder! Stop | Thief! The Cradle Is Robbed | Awful news from Washington. | Total of 1,600 boys at the age of 15 married in the United States in 1923. And it will be worse in 1924, because this is Leap Year. Girls’ figures are even higher. They show 12,384 girls of 15 prom- ised to love, hamor and dism These little tots were not old cnough to start lying about their age. WEATHER. Mercury jumped 80 degrees in 36 hours in Norfolk, Neb. Maybe dur- ing a political speech SPORTS. Hans Wagner say's an infielder must make double plays*if he sti in the big league. This reminds once saw. The bases were full and so-were the pl Batter used e Groh, apd uncorked one to center, Fielder was so full he thought ‘he caught two balls in- stead of one. Umygre looked at the ball and thought it was three, so ‘a triple play had been made. This decision was staggering; but then, so was everybody. WEEKLY MOVIE PAGE. All the world is a stage, but the movie stars are acting so foolisi. Shootimgs are interfering with their divorges. Maybe they could get divorces on Mondays and Wednesdays and hold us of a triple we | shootings on Tuesdays and Thars- days This would leave week-ends |free for the silent drama. BEAUTY SECRET. Keeping your mouth shut lets | black eye get well. a | ADVERTISIN oN ero eee Ine Ae mebody. Then skinny people t spaghetti. Give our canned hash a fair trial. It is not guilty. If a jman is what he eat ‘our canned hash and you everything. Hash Brown Co. said st | EDITORIAL. | It's an ill wind that blows no good. Even the saxaphone sounds nice at times. But this editorial is to briag out the shin of something worse than saxaphones, the coal sit- “uation, 2 Of course, paying ‘coal bills gets monotonous, just like train, bank and other robberies. Put the high |cost of coal gets many a man out | of being on time. No husband can sleep in comfort while his wife builds a fire with ex- SOCIETY. , Miss Gumit went shopping yester- (day. This was all right, but she | had her hair on backward. Friends and admirers will be glad to learn Mrs Blublub, who was beautifully ateched and had her hair most charmingly yanked at a |card party last week, has thought ict a way to get even. | EVERETT TRUE BY CONDO © HAR! HAR 4 HAR Har! Come HERS ESVEREGTT, Come HERS AND teu SNOCK You Down '!!! well, Jack. Said of all the men who had ever been devoted. to me, he would have picked you out for his son-in-lew. this Iam going to do my own oxder- ing. i Lovingly, LESLIE. rvice, Inc.) { (Copyright, 1923, NEA” Se AND UU Pick You up! Published by arrangement Lioyd with Corinne Griffith as H Copyright 1923 by SYNOPSIS. At a first night performanee in New York, a beautiful young woman attracts attention by rising | and leisurely surveying the audi- | ence through her glasses. Claver- ing, a newspaper columnist, and his cousin, Dinwiddie, are particu- larly interested, Dinwiddie declar- ing that she is the image of Mary Ogden, a belle of thirty years ago, who had harried a Count Zattiany and lived abroad. He is convinced that this is Mary’s daughter, but all efforts to establish her identity prove futile. 2 Clavering, detenmined to find out who she is, follows her home from the theatre one night. Litck is with him, for she has forgotten her keys and he helps her get into the house. She asks him in and finally tells him she is the Countess Josef Zattiany, a cousin of Mary Og- den’s;, that she had married a rela- tive of Mary’s husband; that Mary is ill in‘a sanitarium in Vienna, She asks him to join a small din- ner party at her home the next night. Besides himself, the guests are Dinwiddie, a Mr. Osborne and Judge Trent, Mary Ogden’s attor- ney. 1X (Continued) “Another drive!” Judge Trent groaned. “New York flees to cover at the word. Enter Society by all Otherwise any victory the masses ! ans, but to give your youth its Zats. You have been deprived of them ‘too long.* “I shall never feel as young as that again, Nor will any girl who was merely sixteen at the begin- ning of the war ever be the same as your carefree young ladies here, I sit in the restaurants and watch them with amazement— {often with anger. What right have |they ... however... as for j myself I shali not re-enter the | world for any but the object I have | Just mentioned. Luncheons! Din- ners! Balls! I was surfeited be- fore the war. And I have forgot- ten ,persiflage, small talk, 1 am told that Americans avoid serious topics in Society. 1, alas, have be- come very serious.” She swept her favored guests » with a disarming smile. They un- derstood. There was no sting in her words for them. Clavering spoke up eagerly. “Why should you .bore ‘yourself with social functions? If you want to raise money for the ,chil- dren I will not only start a drive in my column, but take you to’call qn several powerful editors#or bring them here,” he added hastily at the look of amazement in her eyes; “and they will be more than will- ing to help you. They have only to meet you—” “That is all ‘very well,” inter rupted Judge Trent, who, like the other elderly gentlemen, was glar- ing at the fanfous young columnist who daily laid down the law to his admiring readers, “But to raise money in large amounts you've got to have a committee, and no com- mittee is of any nse—for this sort of thing—without the names of fastfionable women who. are as well known to our democratic pub- ile, that dally devours the society columns, as the queens of the movies.” “Well—well—I do not know. must think, take lightly.” ‘Clavering intercepted a flash be- tween her eyes ‘and Judge Trent's and the old gentleman tightened his lips in a self-conscious smirk os he bent over’his fish. “Damn him!” thought Clavering. “He knows the whole truth ani is laughing at us in his sleeve.” Madame Zattiany had turned the fubject gracefully to European pol- itics, and jhe watched her with a detached air. Trent's attitude to. ward her amused him. It was more deferential and admiring than infatuated. Whatever her charm, she was no longer in her first youth, and only unripe fruit could sting that/senescent Palate. But-the other two! Clay- ering smiled sarconically. Din- , Widdie, hanging on her’ every i word, was hardly eating. He was a very handsome man, in spite of his shining pate and heavy white moustache. His features were fine and regular, his eyes, if, rather prominent, were clear and. blue, shis ‘skin clean, and‘ his’ figure but little amplified. -He was only sixty- two. ¥. Osborne, who looked barely fif- ty, .was persogable and clever enough to attract any woman. He, too, was astonishingly indifferent to the excellent dinner, and both these gentlemen had réached an age where, if wary of excess for @easons of vanity and interior com- fort, they derived their sincerest enjoyment at the table. That’ she ‘possessed sex mag: I Tt {s not a step to with Associated First National Plietures, Inc. Watch for the screen: version produced by Frank Countess Zattiany. Gertrude Atherton netism in a superlative degree in spite of her deliberate aloofness, | Clavering had, of course, been con- scious from the first. Had not every male first-nighter been con- scioug of it? There was a surfcit of beauty in New York, A stran- ger, even if invested with mystery, must possess the. one irresistible magnet, combined with some un- usual quality of looks, to capture | and hold the interest of weary New |Yorkers as she had done. Even the dramatic critics, who looked’ as \if they hated everybody, had been seen to gaze upon her with rare ap- proval, But tonight Clavering had a glimpse of somethifig more than & magnetism for which she was not responsible and to which she had j seemed singularly indifferent. It was quite evident that he watching charm in action. was sparkling and exerting self, talking brilliantly and illu natingty upon the chaos known as Europe, and it was patent that her knowledge was not derived from newspapers or draw- ing-room gossip. Her personal ac- quaintance of public men had evi- dently been extensive before the war, and she had ag manifestly continued. to sea those in and ou” of omce in Vienna and Buda Pesit throughout all the later fluctua tions. Her detestation of the olé German militaristic party was un mitigated and she spoke of the late ruler of the Dual Empire and oj his yearning heir with no respect |whatever, With other intelligent people she belicved Bolshevism tc be an inevitable ph in a coun. ;try as backward and ignorant as | Russia, but, to his surprise, s garded the Republican ideal of gov- qrmment as the highest that had yet been evolved from finite Minds still far from their last and highes |stages of development. Si jlieved that the only hope of the | present civilization was to ave Jat any cost the suc the proletariat to power until the governing and employitg classes had learned suflicgient wis |conciliate it and treat it wit same impartial justice they reserved for themselves. (“ educate themselves along the lines laid down in ‘The Mind in the ing," interpolated = C might achieve would be afi was She h as in Its that had followed r vile uprisings since the dawn of j history. When the underdog,, who has never felt anything but an un- derdog, ith all the misery and black inj ice the word i fi himself on top he {tably torture and mi mer oppressors. He wil | foils s or that the o} |hope of the world is equal jn for all classes; he merely gre his primitive instin geance—precisely the s as during the first se | | the | with his own weight, | brains are left recon | tion ont of the ruins, jis that the reconstructing br jare never quite good enough, and j after a time it is all to do over }ggain. . . This was by no means a mono- logue, but evoked in the give and take of argument with Mr. Osborne, |who believed in never yielding an \inch to the demands of labor, and with Mr. Dinwiddie, who, ‘since his |association with the Sophisticates, was locking forwarl vaguely to- |ward some idealistic regencration of the social order, although So- jclalism was rather out of date |among them, and Bolshevism ‘long since relegated to the attic. . But Clavering was not particn. larly Interested in her political views, sound as they were. | For- eiga women. of her class, if not as liberal, always talked intelligently 6f politics. What interested him keenly was her deliberate, her quite conscious attempt to enslave the two men beside her, and her complete success. Occasionally she threw him a word, and once he fancied she favored him with ia glance of secret amused /under standing, but he was thankful te | be on‘the outer edge of that glam. orous crescent, ‘It was enough te | Watch at a comparatively safe dis |tance. Would his turn come next, |Or was she merely bent on so be fuddling these old chaps that there would be no place left in their en raptured minds. for suspicion or criticism? No doubt he was too rank an outsider. .“. . She shot him another glance. - Was his to be the role of the, sympa thetic frien¢? Then she began to draw Dinwid- die and Osborne out, ayd it struck him ‘that her attitude was not merely that of the accomplished hostess. They‘ both talked well they were intelligent and well-in. formed, and he was himself 4nter. ested in what they had to say on Ahe subject of national ‘politics AThe Judge, who had an unimpair. ed digestion, was attending strict ly to his champagne and his.din- fer.) (To Be Continued) RRC a eer mr eee | Shoes and clothing for men and boys. A lot of new, qual- ity piece goods—now at auc- tion 2 and 7 p. m. daily until all is sold. Make your own | : price, DR. R..S. ENGE _ Ghiropxactor Consultation Free Lucas Blk. Bismarck,