The Bismarck Tribune Newspaper, March 30, 1922, Page 4

PAGE FOUR THE BISMARCK TRIBU: THE BISMARCK TRIBUNE Entered at the Postoffice, Bismarck, N. D., as Second Class Matter. Editor GEORGE D. MANN Foreign epeser yes, ae 3. AN PAYN! ! Mea DETROIT. Kresge Bldg. | CHICAGO Marquett ig. ‘ arquetie “PAYNE, BURNS AND SM NEW YORK ie MEMBER OF THE ASSOCIATED PRESS “The Associated Press is exclusively entitled to the use or republication of all news dispatches credited to it or not otherwise credited in this paper and also the local news published herein. ( : i All rights of republication of special dispatches herein. are also reserved. MEMBER AUDIT BUREAU OF CIRCULATION SUBSCRIPTION RATES PAYABLE IN ADVANCE Daily by carrier, per year . $7.20 Daily by mail, per year (in Bismarck).... 7.20 Daily by mail, per year (in state outside Bismarcl 5.00 Daily by mail, outside of North Dakota 6.0 THE STATE’S OLDEST. NEWSPAPER (Established 1873) E> THE JOKER Practical jokers gleefully watch the approach of April Fool’s Day. When and why did man first set aside April 1 as a festival of pranks and laughs? No one knows. Its origin is lost in the mists of antiquity. Romans of 2000 years ago had a similar yearly celebration. April Fool’s Day is a.monument to man’s sense} of ‘hurioiilWhich' HAs|liidrried individuals, nations | and whole.civilizations thropgh many a crisis. Man endures nerve strain and conquers eco- nomic problems that would kill the strongest beast. When the burden is heaviest it is his abil- ity to relax and laugh that freshens him for the| next round, ofthe battle. a: Humor:i8 a stimulant, an intoxicant. Humorists make life interesting, keep us from taking the daily grind too seriously. Wherefore, the men who draw the funny pictures and’ figure! out new twists to old jokes are as important as the ones who furnish food, clothing and fuel. ITH Fifth Ave. Bldg. Humor is philosophy, presented as a, farce. One of the greatest humorists that ever lived was the slave, Aesop. He also was one of the greatest philosophers. ‘ Halfway between wholesome fun and cynicism | there is a stage of humor known as ridicule. : It has wrecked political parties and their candidates. | It is the one thing that office-seekers dread above all else. ; For truth, mighty in all forms, is a dead-shot|. when presented by a philosopher-humorist. | ; You watch April Fool pranks. “They seem very funny at the tinie.’ ‘Try to analyze them and‘you realize that humor is a baffling mystery. Noth- ing harder to explain than‘a’joke.). Charles M. Newcomb, industrial psychologist, says: established order, and.it isan escape from social rigors and inhibitions, back. to the freedom of primeval instincts.” | d Nopt Laughter is man’s gleeful way of getting any- thing that temporarily defies the natural laws and social regulations which make civilized life a me- chanical existence. | Our subconscious minds resent the fact that we have to be in a perpendicular position, with more or less dignity, when we walk. We laugh when a fat man slips on the ice because of the satisfaction it gives us that we are able to keep our feet. If the fat man hurts himself laughs stop, all rush to his assistance. This gives the lié to the ¢ yn that humor is closely allied to Take the April Fool jokes good-naturedly. They are merely reminders that man hasn’t lost hig valuable asset, sense of humor. i WHY SHE DIFFERS California mixed juries have disagreed in re- recent celebrated criminal trials because almost any 12:1ftehand women will disagree on sex ques-| tions. That’s the size-up by Edwin V. McKenzie, | prominent criminal lawyer on the Pacific coast. Do you agree with McKenzie? i The cases he refers to “have all been so-called sex crimes. They have involved moral issues of | much discussed nature. Few people in the street’ have agreed on them, Only recently, three su- preme court judges in California were unable to agree on the status of the eternal triangle. Mixed | juries involve the situation even more.” | Woman generally is either very liberal or very | strict on sex and morals. On this subject she! forms a very decided opinion, a personal code that she sticks to through thick and thin. | Men usually are more tolerant, more flexible on their viewpoint about the deviations of sex from accepted normal. It is this flexibility, often indifference, among men that has compelled woman to formulate a strict code of opinion for her own protection. | So reasons McKenzie—that, in a sex trial, wo-| men jurors are harder to sway from personal con- victions, men more open to argument. It’s an in-| teresting biological opinion. In these days of frank sex discussion and} psychoanalysis, argues McKenzie, a jury is very | apt to include women of ultra-liberal viewpoint, also the conservative minded. la short trip through mud. and dust. Preparation “Laughter: is caused’ by lapses ‘from the}; jand division. jread. The charm of the narrative is up along with \rise to power. ments in California trials, where there were no, fine points of sex morals. \ The discussion emphasizes this difficulty of | trial by jury —that jurors usually are inclined to give less weight to law than to personal moral views and self-created philosophy, of rules and regulations that should govern sex questions, WATERPOWER As ‘the world begins going on an electrical basis, far-sighted economists ‘rejoice that 40 per cent of the world’s developed water-power is in our country. ¢ We have already harnessed falling water to the extent of 9,243,000 horsepower. And this is only a fraction of the gigantic force that will be the slave of our descendants when all of the potential waterpower is put to work. Every drop of running water is energy going to waste. Water, flowing back to the sea through rivers, is close to perpetual motion. It is the only natural resource that man cannot destroy. A SALESMAN’S TIME When the average salesman is working, 15 per cent of his time is devoted to actual productive effort, salesmanship. The rest’ is used in walk- ing, waiting and clerical work. | This is the report of the Freeland committee whieh investigated for two years. The figures are typical of most activities in our complicated civilization. Ask. mother. It takes hours to prepare the meal that is eaten in min- utes. Men spend half a day cleaning their autos for is long and tedious, achievement brief though en- joyable, in this life. UNIQUE BET At Bangor, Maine, Henry Parish bets John D. Wainwright that he can count 1,000,000 peas in a month. E If he counts incorrectly, ha will have to eat the whole batch. Te eating jod falls to John if Hen- ry’s count is accurate in the check-up. The stakes are $2.50. . Incidents like this are straws in the wind; ex- pressions of a blase world. To escape monotony, some men seem willing to try anything. That is one reason why nature sends hard times—to jolt our brain cells and give us fresh, interesting prob- lems. : ' b. ‘EDITORIAL REVIEW « £2Commients. reproduced in this column may or may not i exprece the opinion of The Tribune. They are presented here in order that our readers may have both sides of importart iseues which ‘are being,,discussed in the press of the day. “IF WINTER: COMES” ‘ In the guise: of,a gripping story, “If Winter Cames” administers a terrific jolt to middle-class complacence. j A If there is to be a co-operative, democra:ic, well amalgamated society, the chief obligation for p7o- moting it rests upon that status which les ‘be- tween the upper and the nether. If the whoie so- cial fabric is to be coherent, this middle stratum must, more than any other, possess and cultivate the quality and the disposition which will enable it to cohere. It is the cement between the upper and nether course of the structure, affording to each both a cushion and a binder. There can be nothing passive about this; it must be.a definite and specific recognition of an obliga- tion that implies action as well as adaptability and ability to get the other fellow’s point of view. So long as those in a middle position look up with envious, cringing-and down with cruelty and con- descension, there will bea muddle and bitterness \ This is only one of the things readers will get out of “If Winter Comes.” It isa truth that is not obtruded upon you, but it runs ‘beside you as you that of Dickens; it fits human nature and it fits the times like a kid glove—St. Paul Daily News. BUILDING AMERICAN CITIZENSHIP Chicago is host this week to a body of earnest men. who are teaching a wonderful lesson to the boys of the nation—the lesson of Americanism. The visitors are 500 business and. professional men who have in hand the conduct of the Boy zouts of America with a membership of 530,000 It is their twelfth annual convention. —_ Manliness, self-reliance, the joys of sacrifice, and love of their country, are among the things the, boys learn and practice. The Boy Scout movement in America is organ- ized along the lines of the one in Great Britain, organized by that great little Englishman, Gen. Sir Rebert Baden-Powell, of Boer. War. fame. Twelve years ago it was started by 20 men in New York City; today there are 425,000 boys and 105,000 adult members. Not a town in the United States with a population of 2,000 or more, but has at least one troop of Boy Scouts. They are not taught militarism, in the. sense of} an aggressive force; but they are taught all the virtues of the soldier. These include scrupulous care of the body, cleanliness of mind and habits, disc’pline under the ‘command: of their officers, | and the exercise of authority themselves as they | Parents cf boys can learn a valuable lesson if they will drop in Wednesday or Thursday at the Hotel La Salle, and listen to what these builders He points out, there have been no such disagree- of American citizenship say.—Chicago Journal of Commerce. ; | MANDAN NEWS | Professor Conte _To Give Recital in Mandan Church Arrangements have been completed to present Professor Paola Conte of, Grand Forks in an’ organ recital at the Presbyterian church on: Friday even- ing, April 7. Prof. Conte» who is without ques- tion one of: the leading-organists in the Northwest’ and) a’ ‘composer of note, is instructor in the Wesley Col- lege Conservatoty of Music at Grand Works. He was‘in Mandan’ about two years ago’ and ‘His recital was one of the most delightful and artistic events in the musicalihistory of! Mandan. Mrs. Johanna Murphy of Sioux Falls, . D., whovhas::been-:a-guest at the ome, of her daughtex,,,.Mrs...Charles, ‘McDonald for the ete “tivo months, is soriously ill! ati the MéLona!d home. _ Dewey \Nelson).Jeft yesterday morn- ing for Grand. Junction, Coloradg, where he will enter the fruit’ raising business with | gn uncle, J.T. Sarvis, agronomist of the Northern Great:/Plains ' Experimental station has, returned from Washing- ton, D. C., where he has been in the main office during the winter. Mrs. Sarvis will remain in the east for a few weeks. \ ps STI RY | A Thought For Today | oO I therefore so run, not -as uncer- tainly; so fight I, not as one that beateth the air; but I keep‘under my body, and bring it into, subjection—I Corinthians 9226-7. I will strive to raise my own body and soul daily into all the higher pow- ers of duty and happiness, not in rival- ship or contention with others, but for the help, delight and honor of others and for the peace and joy of my own life—John Ruskin. ; "Learn a Word Every Day f— Today’s word.is. PERNICIOUS. It’s pronounced—per-nish-us, with accent om the second syllable, It means—destructive, dangerous, evil, ruinous, fatal, hurtful, harmful, mischievous. It comes from—Latin, “pernicies,” destruction. It’s used like this—“The four-power treaty was passed despite the belief of a group in the Senate that it was a pernicious document.” GERMANS SECURE MONOPOLY Moscow, Mar. 30.—The trade organ ot the Supreme Economic Council re- perts that a German firm has secured the monopoly of leather exports from Russia. The trust formed for this purpose’ is to have a capital of $5.- 500,000, the Russian government re- taining 5,000 shares. USE SLOAN’S TO ¥-WARD OFF PAIN ITTLE aches {nto big pains Ls wardedof an applica tion of Sloan’s, matism, oenralgia, stiff joints, lame back won’ Gght long against rose a a For more than years "4 Liniment has Teiped chousands, the world over, Y« be an excep» fa Itcertainly ‘does produce results, this old family friend always pose for instant use. Ask’ your neighbor. | At all druggiste—35c, 70c, a 10a: a | ADVENTURE OF | | THETWINS | * 9 By Olive Barton Roberts Yes, it was the Squeedillums who had carried off the record and made a dance floor of it. Fortunately they used the wrong side so it wasn’t hurt a bit. “We just happened to see it here,” said Mr. Jinks, “and so wwe carried it off.” ! “Are you fairies?’ asked Nandy, « “Indeed yes,” answered. Mr. Jinks proudly. “You never saw humans this size, did you?” * “No, we never did,” she ansiverec thoughtfully. “But I’ve seen all sorts of bugs your size.”.- +. % ‘Mr. Jinks was offended? “Well, ‘you can look jn all the ‘bug. ~ books and animal books, too. But! you won't find ‘Squeedillums. % has*us “in hey ‘fairy book, though! We're one of her niine-‘hundred and ninety-nine kingdoms—gmall, to be sure, but important.” is Then turning to.some of the little fairies behind him. he waved a-hand. “Come, boys, we'll have to go back to the ballroom and get the new dance floor. This lady and gentleman say it belongs to them.” So the little folks all turned hack’ into the underground passage and in a little while’ there was a scattering of earth and sravel as they dug a lerger opening for the return of the record, ef “Oh, goody!” cried Nancy. “I’m so much obliged to you, Mr. Jinks. You've no idea how precious this thing is!” “H’m? What's that?” asked Mr. Jinks suddenly. ‘Who are you and who am I, and what are you talking about?” The Twins thought he had suddenly |' taken leave of his senses. Does he get this way very often? asked Nick of he others. “What way?” asked’ a blue-satin fairy. “And who are you? We’ never ,|| EVERETT TRUE DON'T “iQue THAT Souk PlPE IN HERE HF BECAUSE IF You DO \T WILL ONLY Go ; OUT RIGuUT AWAY. The Fairy Queen, ‘an’ ef they are in doubt they better WELL, You'Re A PodR QUESSERM! Saw you before.. “And - what's this black thing doing here?” ' “Have you all gone crazy?” demand’ ed Nancy. | “Crazy? What’s crazy. We forget everything,” they answered. Suddenly Nancy spied a raveling wrapped about them and she knew. The.Cloth of Dreams was still making trouble, The raveling had been stick-j ing to the record and the fairies had touched it. (To Be Continued) (Copyright, 1922, NEA Service) [ PEOPLE'S FORUM ... OL’ TIMER TALKS, So Gummer gummed his testimony. He’s guilty o’ lyin’, anyway, by: gum! , Seth Willard: says-his battery ain’t no good.. He. filled ‘er up with stilled water an’ set ’er in-the shed. Come cold ‘spell an’ she 'friz.an’' bust.’ He picked ’er up'an’ started: to bring ’er into the kitchen. ~He could n’t open the door an’ hold the battery too, so he dropped ‘er. ‘‘ She’ lit corner-ways am’ busted wido open. Had to git the door open; he says, an’ it’s a blammed poor battery thet couldn’t stand that, ‘He wants to sell his car, now. Assessor Hy Land wants ‘to know how to class home bréw outfits. They ‘got to be ‘assessed full an’ they ain’t no exemption. He‘ asks what the as- sessors are to do when they. ain't full. The law don’t’ ‘contemplate no such condition, it seems. 1 advise asses- sors ought to. know when they're full, a &. sleep.on it. There’s 49,000 an’ more Fords: in North Dakota. Nothin’ for Henry to do but run for Senator out here, he carries the state. March is a great barn-stormin’ month, —BILL ‘Saber-toother tiger, according to| ‘recent evidenae, roamed the earth ‘200,000 years ago. Cremations are not fashionable in Paris, i BY CONDO| [f So out, GH —; L Guess NOT. i } Lys Lids MAME ,en § 7 ! If Lh Tif] you don’t get them mixed. Men who ought to be out making business boom are sitting around ‘blaming everything on the war. Moonshine is aged in the woods. From the amount of red tape han- dicapping, Secretary. Weeks, his name ought to’ be changed to Months. Figtires show there is enough coal on hand to keep the operators raising prices three months. ‘Swat the flies now or the flies will swat us later. Nowadays, when a woman speaks of her late husband you never know if she means late or latest. Europe would rather owe us always than beat us out of it. Cincinnati dog chews tobacco. To- bacco is going to’the dogs. One pest of spring is the man who says, “My wife planted bird seed.” One of Chris Columbus’-men shouted “I see dry land;” And the land hasn’t been dry since. © Why. does a flapper flap? Why, because the memflop. ‘ One fool bigger!than. a: big ifool is the man who argues with one. A millionaire hag:been working. as a waiter in New York. Some people can’t let rich enough’ alone. Adding up reports of expenses cut we find our government is running on $8,000,000 less than yothing. Bed-time stories and’ sermons are being sent out by radio. Be careful Y Now that the marines have stopped mail robberies they ought to put them in charge of landlords. This Swiss butler who thought he was the whole cheese turned out to be only a small piece of it. About 1075 families will live in a Cleveland apartment. Wouldn't you hate to be the janitor? ‘Woman given $1 for a breach of {promise suit found her promise wasn’t worth very much, Runaway college girl quit cooking job after four days because she got sick. We refuse to comment. Cicer DT TPES NA |. With the Movies eo MOTHER REVOLTS IN \ +, “HAIL THE WOMAN? All her life, Mother had knéwn but one Jaw; that was the word of. her stern, pious, narrow-minded husband. But one day Mother revolted. Dim rumors of her rebellion crept out to the neighbors. They heard how the trembling old woman, her thin cheeks wet with tears, suddenly stepped be- tween hér husband and. the girl who stood before him. “Tf she goes, I go with her.” The neighbors never: heard the whole story. They: heard that. the rock-bound old Deacon faltered and hesitated—simply struck dumb by the insurrection of Mother. But they never found out what got Mother worked’ up to this pitch, Some had one thegry, some had another. ” But the time has come when the whole story of that night is to be told to them. If those neighbors will be at the Eltinge- theater on Thursday or. Friday nights they, will.find that “hail the Woman” tells alb.about Mother's revolt, Theodore Roberts is the stern old Deacon, Gertrude Clairé, the. Mother and Florence Vidor, the daughter. WISHES HE HAD KNOWN IT SOONER. “I only wish I had discovered Foley’s Honey and Tar 50 years ago, as I have been the victim of attacks of influenza andy bad colds) tuntil 1 found this. wonderful relief#” writes W. .H. Gray, ; 864 Nowita Pl., Venice, Cal. Foley’s Honey and Tar he)ps coughs and colds, bronchial and la grippe coughs, tickling throat and hoarseness. It is good for croup and whooping cough. Mr. Gray adds: “Worth its weight in gold. Marvel- ously effective.”—Adv. ‘New University has organized a course in Oriental commerce and politics. Short fest sea trip to England Fran Rigen many, Belgium, Scotland. ~See usorwritetoday. A.G. Albeitsen, Gen. Pass. Dept. 6lL A a So, Minneapolis, Minn., (Next door to Minne- apolis Athletic Club) or local eamship agents Ganadian . Pacific