The Bismarck Tribune Newspaper, April 23, 1921, Page 4

PACE FOUR. THE BISMARCK TRIBUNE Z THE BISMARCK TRIBUNI ss lights will be as common on the farms ‘as Entered at the Postoffice, Bismarck, at. D. as Second Class Matter. GEORGE D. MANN - Foreign Representatives G. LOGAN PAYNE COMPANY CHICAGO Marquette Bldg. PA NEW YORK YNE, BURNS AND SMI =| ordinary electrict lights are nowadays in the \cities.” c Editor} Ah, the troubles of an explorer, made easy — —“Put your power in your purse,” and climb Mt. | Everest, dally around the poles, sail over the An- DETROIT | des, loop Vesuvius. Run your auto the Tesla way. Kresge Bldg.! y ; Train your tractor from a far-away power plant.' TH i Fifth Ave. Big. Things as strange have happened. The Associated Press is exclusively entitled to the use! for publication of all news credited to it or not otherwise! credited in this paper and also the local news published | herein. All rights of publication of special dispatches herein are also reserved. MEMBER AUDIT BUREAU OF CIRCULATION | EVER HAPPEN TO YOU? John Blank, the busy business executive, picks jup his phone and says to the switch-board opera-| itor: “Get me Smith of the firm of Punk, Bunk; | & Monk.” : | SUBSCRIPTION RATES PAYABLE IN ADVANCE, | ‘Daily by carrier, per year ....... manasa: Daily by mail, per year (in Bismarck) Daily by maf Daily by mail. outside of North Dakota THE STATE’S OLDEST NEWSPAPER (Established 1873) SOUTH SEA ROMANCE ‘ Popular fancy has been ascribing ‘cf romance to Jife on South Sea ‘Bassett Digby, a writer, brings back a different {> have kept you waiting.” tale. , per year (in state outside Bisma: Lan Mr. Smith is gotten on the line and is told to} ceree3759/ “wait a minute, please.” It develops that Mr.) ek... 5.00| Blank has antbled across the hall to a neighbor’s a 6.00 office or is down at the far end of the factory. | |He has a mania for getting as far away from the} \’phone as possible, after putting in a call. | Smith, at the other end of the line, rests wear. ‘ lily on his elbow and goes into a comatose state) ‘watching the window cleaner across the street.| After about five minutes, Blank has been success: | But fully paged and rushes in to the ‘phone. “Sorry | a vast amount Islands. If Smith gets a dozen such calls in a day, he, “There are often lovely shells along the water) loses an hour. line,” he says. “way vegetables and ro Sodden ancient rags and decaying cocoanuts.” | . This stuff, he says, languidly folows the tide up| Nobody’s time was wasted. and down, day after day, week after week. ; The burning sun ‘makes the beach unbearable. There is shade under the fringe of palms, but no grass, just earth—and insects. However disillusioning this picture may be, it i 1c No doubt, if one can but see it, there is just as. much romance ten miles _ ds rather convincing. from home as 10,000. SHOOTING FOXES Farmers in Wales are gunning for foxes.| Nothing startling in that—to an American. But to the British mind, the shooting of a fox! is sacrilege. ¢ Foxes were created to be pursued by hounds followed by dashing ladies and gentlemen in gay rainment, mounted on the best of horses. The only reason that ‘foxes ‘are Wales i way when hunted with hounds. May we be permitted a snicker fox code? American sports are cram-full, of inconsisten- cies.. Boxing i8 outlawed in’many’ states, yet the more dangerous wresting thrives. form us that we are exterminating many species of game. Horse-racing is forbidden because it has'been debauched by gamblers. The Majority of our young men are mere spectators of athletic contests. The snicker at the British fox might be risky. TONGUE-TIED BUSINESS South American papers are poking a lot of fun! at American catalogs and salesmen getting the! Spanish and Portugese languages balled up. One jester in Buenos Aires calls us “the tongue-| tied exporters.” The trouble with foreign-language study in American schools has been that languages have! been regardéd primarily as “mental discipline” “But also there are always dead cats and fowls and fishes and snakes and casla- in business within the, past few years. e at. there are too many for the fox hunt- ers. Foxes have been getting in each other’s This is a pest, and a growing one, that has risen! It has lo by the era of private switch- in the days when a business and man had to make his cwn telephone calls direct,’ ‘he had to stay on ‘the job until he got his party. ae | id heen made pn Thoughtlessness? Yes. But it can easily be] iremedied. Have a little consideration for the; | other fellow’s time, Don’t put in a *phone call for! {him unless you are ready to stay nearby for the| |80 seconds or so required to get your connection. | |It will save a lot of time and make business run [more smoothly. The hard road leads to easy Street. If the eyes and ears are kept out of other peo- ;ple’s business, the nose will follow suit. | Numismatist says modern paper money origin. | ated in China in the year 806. Some of it looks likg it. 3 | | It cost a New Jersey man $2,453 damages for calling a woman a scold. This should put the tbrakes on‘a lot of loose talk. being shot in New York man is said to have kept two wives! in the same house. Wonder what No. 1 and No. 2 talked about when papa was at the office. > bi ee ; Saree 5 Pik iike 8p - Five million’ dollars in German gold arrives in |New York. How did it get past the English Chan- nel, which apparently has one-way pockets? at the British) Scientists in- in most states | Chicago taxicab driver who found: $7,000 in jewels and restored them to the owner, says he ‘didn’t get a reward. Can it be’ that the Rollo! hunting code} Books had it-all wrong? EDITORIAL REVIEW Comments reproduced in this column may or may not express the opinion of The Tribune. They are Presented here in order that our readers may have both. sides of important issues which are being dis- cussed In the press of the day. NEW YORK -GIVES UP PRIMARY | The New York Legislature has repealed the! | direct primary law, and the State will return to ‘or as “credits” inthe course of study, rather than’ the convention system, after an experiment that! as useful commpdities of trade. ‘began when Charles E. Hughes was Governor} Students in other countries learn to think in, more than a decade ago. | foreign languages. In the United ‘States the! student of a foreign tongue generally is a parrot,’ the Empire State. It had made the cost of can- with the primary object of getting a-good mark) didacy prohibitive save to men with wealth or! in his studies rather than mastering the language! with wealthy backers. ‘so it will be of real use to him. American consular agencies repeatedly point has tended to break down party organization and out our lingual handicaps. We must have only weak party responsibility, despite the fact that! ‘one language at home, byt we must also learn— government in this Country must be administered! punctuation and capitalizi and learn correctly—the languages of our possible by responsible parties. It has produced such po- supremacy customers abroad. Trade The direct primary has not been a success in | It has complicated the; | problem of getting the right man into office. It) in the litical anomalies as the election of William Sul-: world’s markets may go to the salesman who can zer to the Governorship, an event that had to be, best talk his potential custorher’s language. POWER BY WIRELES Nikola Tesla, inventive genius and “dreamer,” Says man soon will transmit power by wireless. The airplane need carry no fuel, nor the “steam- The mill will grind ship,” nor the locomotive. ‘retracted by means of impeachment. | _ Of late years the defects of the primary Sys-| ‘tom have been in part overcome in New York,) as in Minnesota, by the holding of “unofficial” | State conventious. These have permitted parties: to function to scraz extant as they ought to fune-, _tion. Candidates have been named and platforms) Ss wheat by power generated 5,000 miles away. He promulgated, subject to the verdict of the pri-| says, in the American Magazine: “Power can be, and at no distinct date, will be, transmitted without wires for all commercial uses, such as the lighting of homes and the driv- ing of airplaes. In recent years I myselt to the problem of the wireless tranmis- sion of power, and I have discovered the essential principles, and it only remains to commercially.” mary. . However, as Lhe primary expermient has proved : a failure, the Legislature just adjourned, as one! of its last acts, repericd the Jai and provided ‘that the designaticn of cind'dates for State of- fices shall in future be made ty conventions. | _The delegates to these conventions, however, are’ to be elected in primaries held under the State’s | protection. The re-establishment of the old boss: have devoted by detelop them Tesla’s confidence in his ability to go through controlled caucuses and the evils that flowed from) with his ideas to be a successful commercial con-; them are thus to be guarded against, so far as); clusion shows all the force of a beautiful optim-| any law can suffice. If the voters attend the pri ism — and we know that Tesla is practical “dreamer.” “When this is done, you_will be able to go any- where in the world — to the mountain top over- looking your farm, to the arctic, or to the dessert, and set up a little ‘equipment that a thoroughly maries in numbers they can direct party actio ‘and dictate party nominations much more effec: tively than by the direct primary. ' The Minnesota Legislature did not go so far as this. It has authorized pre-primary conven-; 4 will give you; tions, in order to restore majority rule in this * heat to cook with and light to read by. This, State. It remains to be seen whether this plan: equipment will be carried in a satchel ‘not as big) Will suffice or whether still further changes must; as the ordinary suitcase. In years to come wire-jbe made.—Minneapolis Journal. ; and get her to go. | the beach, or the only frog in the pond, ‘glad to see the world, and a little TURES OF THE TWINS . By Olive Barton Roberts |! “What kind of monkeys are you?” asked Miss Hi This was the {dea that popped into Flippety#Map's uu never’ miss the circus an’t go. Nancy, then he nudged Nick, © bat ad Granny Hippo saw nothing. had covered her‘ head sulkily jv, tbe yetlow water/of the muddy river, all but’ tite’ end of her nose. £ BE fe ys I think that F ‘seg ,another, rhi- noczros abot half a mile up the river, said the fairyman. “Let's try This old cross- patch thinks she is the only pebble on ‘Therefore, “ until you: iF He ny or the only potato in the ficld, or the only rhino iu the river, or whatever you wish to.call it. Let's fool her and get somebody else to take her place. Plenty of people ‘would be thing like a calliope with a flat note wouldn't bother them any more than ~~ CONGRESSMAN HERRICK REPORTS TO FOLKS BACK HOME By Newspaper Enterpr. Washington, April: -At last a congressman has written an open let- ter to his constitutents that everyone will want to read. The state n who | has achieved this distinction is Man-} ucl Herrick, who represents 12 large counties in the heart of Oklahosia.| The letter has one fault, it is too long} for publication in full, but the follow-, ing extracts, verbatim as to spelling, | ion, are} quite cnough—if not too much, Real on “pro bono publico”: TO MY CONSTITUENTS Pursuant to my promise I Shall write you a° few Lines concerning my trip to Wash- ington But you must Let Both perry, papers See It and print It If The See! it. Arrived Kansas City at 7:30 Left at for Chicago weather fine un- til we crossed the mississippi at fort madison Towa, ' Arived Washington at 7:30 friday) morning secured a residince, In The! fore noon went to visit. The house and! Senate in The after noon. | Went shoping This fore noon Bought an alarn Clock mach Razor Sone (lean Shirts Collars and Cuffs. Went To The House office Building and filed a Roommy mail Is Begin- nig To Come In wili Soon knead a dray To hall It. | The peovle ont west have an ren-; | fous Idea of The Cullure and Refine- . Pr arnennarnanenneneeny 7 CORNS Lift Right Off without Pain NePNerhernerta were rer Magic! Drop a little ne” on an aching corn. instantly that corn stops hurting, then short!y you lift it right off with fingers. Doesn't hurt bit. Your druggi# setls a tiny bottle of “Freezone” for a few cents sufficient | to remove every hard corn, soft corn, or corn between the toes, and cal-! luses. ‘ i ! hen Granny}. Hippi ite fuppish.. “You-never miss | the (wi 1 the ‘well runs dry,” IS TIME O° YEAR | ie ABOUT TH Jon SAYS 18 | DON'T FEED HIM SOMETHING BESIDES CANNED STUFF — +15 NAME WILE BE Succo TASH! 4 See SU lefty Hippo; a mosquito bite would bother you on a steamboat excursion.” _ “What's a steamboat excursion?” asked Nick. “Lackaday!” ®lap, » “Look? ‘fn the Conte on. Let's: go.” The Green Shoes and Flippety- ‘Flap’s large ones had them all down the ‘river in about two shakes’ of a guinea pig's tail, where Miss Hefty Hippo was cooling her heels in the water and wondering what to do next. Nancy, and Nick and the fairyman paddled out beside her and when she} saw thenr she stopped a great yawn she had started; and blinked her eyes rapidly, “For goodness sake! ‘she exclaimed. “What kind of monkeys are you? I thought that I'd seen every variety! There must be some things in the world I haven't seen after all,” “Nor heard either,’ said Flippety- Flap taking a mouth-organ out of his shoe, and beginning to play a tune. = (To Be Continued) Flippety- dictionary! exclaimed Oe ment of the East. The fact-is: That ‘The are more Back woodsafied and rovincial Than we are The further t you go The more you get.awa from Thé 19th Century and The fury EVERETT TRUE SATURDAY; APRIL;-23, 1921 ther you get Back Into the 18th Cen- tuary. This Is a Town without moderan Connivinces Except The Street Cars Do not have over head Trolleys The First Thought I had upon arival was That If 1t was not for a period of ReconStruction a Capital Renoval BIll would Be in order To Take The capi- tol To St. Louis or some other Central City. The people out Theare Seem To view The position of a Congressman with a Certin amount of Awe. But heare @ Congressman is a Joke And If. It was not for The fact that that T/owe a Duty to The people in order That The may have one Live (s gressman on The Job 1 wouldfeel Like Resigning Right now. \ Therare is nothing heare Like The Told me I would fined. T have heard Sone members make The Siliest and ungrameratical Speaches I Ever heard of Couse Every- thing Is printed Correct In The Con- gressional Record Because It Is Edited By men who Can Spell Correctly. Another Think The Told me That Is not ‘Trie and That is That Washington had more wimenTha n men and what Is heare Is so ugly That The almost make a feller Think That he had DieJ and waked up In Hades. Lhave a fine Room at $20 per month and Boarding at -what Is considered hare as a Swell private Bording house at $20 per month Breakfast and Super Lunch at a Cafe, extry. If I could a gotten heré six weeks ago I Could a won The Speaker Ship In a walk. It won't Be 2 month un- tii I will pretty near Run The old Showe if Sone of the Rest of Them Dont Rub Thir Eyes and wake up. To look upon Congress In Session Js not To have a feeling of. Revrence or Awe But of Disgust. for The have a Lot of men Thare who are in Thir Dotage Poth in the House. and Seri- ate, 1 do hope The new members. wiil Be a Better quality of men Than Those who are now heare allthought It will Re Better for me persononly If The aint Because Then I can Be a giant oak Ina Thicket of Scrub Brush, Those who are Contempulating Run- ning Against me Two years hence Had Retter Save Thir Time and money Be- cause an Iiicubent has a Thousand ad- vantidges over an outSider and no one Can Defeat him but himself and you Can Jest Bet I'am not going to De- BY CONDO S4Y, LT Don't WANT THAT STUFE TAKS (T BACK ANDO CST SOMG THING “THATIS AND AVRRY ve! MG ey To Ear! "T WONT SIT BY AND LISTEN TO A REAUWY Good YWAItTER BAWCSED vt BY me SPOLLED CALLD Gert THE HIGH+ CHAIR ——— lt St | Younger. | to take. | 228 BANK OFFICERS, FROM ONE SCHOOL The election of L. I. Walden as cashier of the First National Bank of Leeds, marks the 228th case in which a graduate of Dakota Bus- iness College, Fargo, N. D., has become a bank. officer. Eight offi- ¢ials are in Fargo banks alone. D. B. C. pupils are preferred in banks all over the state. “Send an- other as good as the last,’’ wired | Linweli’s State Bank of Ray, , re- cently. E. G. Braaten was sent. “Follow the SucceSSful.’’ Enroll : mow for the Spring term. Write for information to F. L. Watkins, Pres. , 806 Front St., Fargo. N. D. feat my Self for Congress as Long as 1 want It, Last Time I an going To ask, The people of Perry to quit knocking and | Get Behined me and give me @ vote of Confidence at The next meeting of the Chansber of Commerce after you get This Letter But if The dont I should worey Because all Hell Canot keep me Down. (Signed) MANUAL HERRICK. [ae oe SIRT RS ES UE | Remarkable Remarks | “Iam sure Lenin and Trotzky are suffering from decayed teeth. The only thing s‘anding in the way of Bolshevism in a country is good | health.”—Dr, E.iH. Stancomb, London physician, of @ “Russian girls’are dead morally.”— Baroness WrangeJ, wife of former anti-Bolshevist leader. ‘ ee |t “You are too much given to laugh- ting in America, because you do not realize the agony-of the world.’—The Rt. Rev. Nicholai Velimirovic, Serbian bishop, ‘8 “Large employers of labor-and some of them justly: so—have been made the football of muckrakers,’— | James J. Davis, secretary of labor. “The railroads’ are facing a test. This year and next will tell the story.” —Archibald Fries, vice president, Bal- timore & Ohio Railroad. ‘+ 8 | “I did not come across an out-and- out advocate of prohibition in Aimcri- j ca."—Gilbert K. Chesterton, British writer. «4a 8 | “Women will be mobilized and sent ' to their places just like. men in the | next war.”—Will Irwin, writer. see “If people knew: what is in the poi- son they: are buying for whisky, they wouldn't be five in the state who'd be thirsty enough to drink it.” —Don V.: Parker, Ohio, state prohibition * officer, “Employers are very largely respon- sible for industrial: unrest."—Charles E. Carpenter, indusirial writer and editor. NELPED HER LITTLE GIRL. Children need all their strength for growing. A lingering cold weakens them go 'that the system is open to at- ‘ack by more serious sickness, Mrs Amanda Flint, Route 4, New Philadel- phia, 0., writes: “Foley's Honey and Tar cured my little girl of the worst tickling cough. I had tried many things and found nothing to help until { got Foley’s Honey and Tar.” Gives immediate relief from distressing, | racking, tearing coughs. 7 PROPOSE PACKING PLANT, Wahpeton, N, D., April 23.—A_ pro- posal to erect a packing plant at Wah- peton is being considered by the Wah- peton Commercial club, which has in- dorsed the project. Promoters of the enterprise ask the city to furnish a site, The board of directors of tho club is working out details. ore Lo IMMIGRATION BILL PASSES | Washington, D. C. April 23.— The immigration restriction — bill passed the house this afternoon. Speckboom, an African plant, whose leaves are the favorite food for: ele- phants, has been transplanted ‘to Cali- fornia,” If follow the advice of -your older friends or relatives. For over 50 years ago, Dr. Piercs, then « young practicing physician discovered that a prescription made up of Lady-slipper root, Viburnum, ~ tack and blue Cohosh, Unicorn root, ; Oregon Grape root, and made into a | liquid extract, or tablets, without al- cohol, was wonderfully efficient as a tonic for those pains and ills so com- | mon‘ among the women {olks. This | woman's tonic has sold as Dr. Pierce's | Favorite Prescription for over fifty | years and is just as popular and effl- | cient now as at any time. Over a| million bottles were cold last year | and many of your friends and neigh- | bors can testify as to how good it is. This famous medicine strikes at the ! very root of these enemies of your youthful appearance. It makes you | not only look younger but feel It overcomes the weak- ness and builds you u A medi- | eine that has, made women well for half a century is surely good If you wish to give tt a trial send your name and address to Dr. Pierce’s Invalids’ Hotel in Buf- faio, N. Y., enclosing ten cents, and ! trial package will be sent you,