The Bismarck Tribune Newspaper, October 22, 1920, Page 4

iy His RISMARCK DAILY TRIBUNE FRIDAY, OCTOBER 22, 1920. THE BISMARCK ‘TRIBUNE Ent Postoffice, Bismarck, N. D., as Second pe oe Class Matter. Editor GEORGE D.MANN - - * °° fateh a un OT % si Foreign Representatives " G LOGAN PAYNE COMPANY CHICAGO Marquette BSE am, BURNS AND SMITH NEW YORK - - - Fifth Ave. Bldg. Associated Press is exclusively entitled to the use bor Me heation of all news credited to it or not ethene credited in this paper and also the local news publishe DETROIT Kresge Bldg. ners rights of publication of special dispatches herein are also reserved. MEMBER AUDIT BUREAU OF CIRCULATION SUBSCRIPTION RATES PAYABLE IN ADVANCE Daily by carrier, per year Peace) seis ate Daily by mail, per year (in ee san Daily by mail, per year (in state outside Daily by mail, outside of North Dakota.......+++++ 00 THE STATE’S OLDEST NEWSPAPER (Established 1873) <i> - OTHERS GOING DOWN John J. Mitchell, prominent Chicago banker, after a thorough investigation of business condi- |, tions, east and west, predicts: 4 1—There will be no dearth of money for es- sential and legitimate enterprises. 2—Commodities will all be considerably cheap- er soon. “The drop in prises of silk, leather, sugar and rice,” he ‘said, “simply came a bit earlier because of particular conditions. The rest will follow:” That portion of American history, which will be known as the golden era of the profiteer, is now to be spoken-of in the past tense. LONDON WINS Over in London they say they have the pret- tiest ankles, meaning, the smallest in circumfer- ence. The average, as reported by cable, is seven inches, And Britishers go so far as to say fem- inine ankles there are smaller, and by the same token, prettier, than those exhibited by the fash- ionable short skirt this side of the Atlantic. Be that'as it may. Does anyone care? Is it something to be proud of? The living skeleton of the circus has-a slim- mer ankle than'that which so firmly upholds the fattest lady on the nearby platform. Would you say it'is prettier because skinnier? So it may be just as, well to conceed to London the more or less doubtful honor of having the prize skinny ankles. } ~, AS OTHERS SEE YOU! “The twitching nose, the blinking eyes, the tan- tilizing sniff, sniff, the fellow who hesitates on the sreet to scratch his knee, tHe man who is al- ways flipping a coin in the air, or the young lady who bites her fingernails— All habits! And yet, have you ever tried to convince any- body that he or she has a pet habit? Can’t be done! Here’s ‘the solution;then; Get the somebody to pose before the movies! A young man did it and when his posing was flashed on the screen, he turned to his wife and said: “For the love of Pete—do I do that?” A flock of habits stuck right on before his very eyes. F Try your luck sometime. If you would know yourself as others know you, get yourself on the screen and then watch you! : ,«, ALAND ISLANDS Many good ‘people have wondered why it is that Finland makes such strenuous objection to handling over the Aland island to Sweden. They point out the fact that Alanders largely are of Swedish descent, and should be permitted to exer- cise the war-won right of self-determination. The reason for ,Finland’s attitude is not land- grabbing. _There‘is-no imperialistic scheme back of thexFinns. They are not seeking island col- onies. Finland is quite well-satisfied with Fin- land. But the Aland islands stand in the way, Finns insist. : Finland is “dry.” Sweden is “wet.” The Finns have no serious objection to Sweden as a near} island neighbor. But they don’t like the Swedish liquor interests. ; The Finns believe, and they have good grounds for their belief that Swedish liquor smugglers ‘in- ‘tend to use the Alands (near the Finnish coasts) as a smuggling base for rum. | Finland doesn’t want John Barleycorn as a neighbor. Already there is more than enough liquor smuggling being done across the wide water space. Given a base on the Alands John Barleycorn could, during the long winters, walk across on the ice. Finns fight for the Alands, not to keep Sweden from’them, but to keep John Barleycorn out of Finland. eee A FULL HOUSE Congress soon will face the membership prob- lem. This is owing to the increase in population. The present basis of apportionment is one repre- Sentative to every 211,877 of population. The in- crease, if made, will give the lower house 50 mem- bers more than it now has. Already is the House uhwieldly. A few leaders transact the business, and by reason of this fact many districts are represented by rubber stamps. A House of 485 members will have an even larger proportion of rubber stamps. Also, the larger the Yin wes House the less chance u1 persuading reauy men to become members. The increase would be in California (5), New York (4), Ohio (4), Pennsylvania (4), Michigan (4), Illinois (3), Texas (3), Massachusetts (2), New Jersey (2), North Carolina (2), and one each for 17 other states. If the apportionment figure is increased there will be many states with fewer representatives in the next Congress, with the 10 states enumerated having smaller increases than suggested above. There are many students of congressional work who believe a House of not over 200 members would be the ideal law-making body. This, of course, would mean a reduction in membership for at least two-thirds of the states. It is hardly possible that such a drastic cut can be carried through Congress, for a majority of the repre- sentatives would have to legislate-their own jobs out of existence. But one thing is certain: Congress cannot go on increasing the membership with every census increase and continue giving the nation the best in legislative effort. Av halt must be called some- time. Why not now? - BANKING BUSINESS Not so very long ago it was held that a bank’s business was, to receive money from depositors and to loan it out again. . Then, little’ by little, banks began widening the scope of their activities. The banking business became something more than the mere, passing of, money over the counter, and becatise the bank’ has| broadened its usefulness it today is the heart. of the business world. : Indeed, one New York bank accepted this “heart of business” theory so literally that: it) bought a quantity of radi which it’ keeps 6, be loaned to hospitals in tre: ng particular,cases., It is loaned without cost:"* Sh sat 4 : ¥ sey RIDICULE : “Cowardy, cowardy, custard , “Eat a bar'l of mustard.” And some kindly man or woman is tempted to interfere and save the poor weakling (or the child who is “queer” in some other way) from the tor- ture of the ridiculing gang. \ But why should there be gangs? Why should they ridicule? and why should the victim care if they do? Man has always been a social animal—his fac- ulty of speech proves that. And cooperation with others of his kind has given him all his victories over nature and the brutes. It has made him lord of creation. His gang spirit has been his salva- tion. And ridicule keeps a gang homogeneous and efficient. A coward is a burden, not an asset; and “queer” people cannot be counted on‘ to play the game or fight the fight. And so the gang is bet- ter off when these are laughed into doing its will or geftting out altogether. The gang does not reason this out. Nature does not wait for reason. It just impels the group to jeer, and the victim does the rest. He does not because the ridicule hurts, as na- ‘ture intended that it should. For ridicule would _ be useless if man was not made to feel it as well as to inflict it. The two things go together. Well, so far the grand juries haven’t got after the umpires. Auld lang syne will take on a new meaning if Scotland goes dry. J President Millerand is hereby warned not to try to open any cai windows’ ay 1. Caruso thought Babe Ruth was a.singer. Well, he does make the “music of the sphere.” The card index crank has this advantage—he can keep track of his wedding anniversary. When the tomatoes are all canned maybe the women will take more interest in the election. If winter lingers in the lap of spring, summer is a hussy, too, and frequently vamps autumn. AY - A crooked l2ft-handed pitcher should pick the boodle from under the pillow with his right hand. Bryan is glad both of ’em can’t be elected pres- ident. If there be comfort in that, make the most of it. a A doctor says sleep with your body north and south. What are thevodds as long-as you have plenty of blankets? : \ The Boston man who willed a fortune to the girl who jiited him cnsyzcd one thing—she will never forget him now. eT ey te et Maine upholds its reputation <3 a stern and rock-bound state—women must tell their exact age there before voting. % ;| thing it is to be sure, ridid’ aroun’ ina grand aeroplane, eatjn’ at the best hotels an’ putting on all kinds o’ /man team ‘for Purdue. e The Experiences + | L Of Hiram Wise i | ' INTRODUCTION “Hiram Wise” is a farmer of the old school who believes in the “dmancyashun o’ humanity.” Be- ing’a forward looking man, he is one of the first to join the Non- 1» partisan league when its organ- sizers visited his community. While his varied experiences are told in story form, practically. ev- ery one of them has been dup- licated in real life. “Bobs’” speech has been writ- ten in dialect in order to carry out the general idea. It is “Hir- am” who {8 doing the talking, tell- ing the reader of his experiences with the Nonpartisan. league in emancipating North Dakota. * —The Author, oF XID. STUNG AGAIN, Wal, the next time I went to Bis- marck I called to see the feller < spoke of but he wuzn't in an’ the guy in charge-o’ things said he wouldn't be fer sum time as he wus out on a lecture tour, so I didn't git to find out what I wanted to know, an’ wouldn't till he got back. In the meantime 1 foun’ I’d been stung again an’ pretty bad at that. You see, among other things the league had sold stock in papers, an’ bein’ a member in good standin’ 0’ the leag an’ a forward lookin’ man I thot it wuz no more than right fer me to help establish a paper in my county, that would tell the truth ,since we'd been told all oth; er papers were scandal-mungers an’ not truth-tellers: So when the agent cum to see me I took ten shares 0’ ler a check for $200 the stock bein’ $20 per share. J supposed, 'o” course, he used it to buy the paper with, but every time I asked ‘fer my stock the editor kept puttin’ me off sayin’ it wuay’t reddy yet, etc., till one mornin’ I Soke up an’ foun’ out we didn’t have no paper —it wuz in the hands 0’ the opposi- tion an’ dur-editor wuz fired while we ‘wuz left out entirely. So another o’ the leages schenies had gone up in smoke an’ we wurleft with the ashes. Somehow, right then the scales fell from my eyes an’ I saw things just as they wuz fer the first time in my life. Just how we had been cheated, swindled. an’ skin- ned by a bunch who pertended they wuz our friends... I woke up with a bang an’ foun’ most everything had happened while’ I wuz asleep, or ruther under Townley’s spell. You’ve seen these fellers who put people to sleep in shows, haven’t you? Well, that’s just what happened to a lot of farmers. They wuz put to sleep by lot of bum arguments—an’ dog my cats if they didn’t believe it too. Wal, things went on fer quite a spell, an’ I couldn’t find out nothin’ about what had happened to my mon- ey an’ I wuz gettin’ madder all. the time to think what a fool I had been, when one day who come atong but an- other agent sellin’ stock in another paper to take the place of the one we'd been skinned out of an’ he act- ually had the brass to ask me,to sub- scribe. “Set right \thar in that chair,” sez J, “an’ hear fer once some ’holesome truths. Do you think the farmers are a bunch of confounded asses to be roped in an’ branded an’ skinned by guch as you? “What have we got to show for all..the money we've give you fer the past five years? What good has it done us? That’s what I want to know! Who gits the money?” “Wal,” he sez, lookin’ kind o” scared, “you've got your organizashun ain’t you?” “Yes,” sez I, “an’ a heap 0’ good it’s done us, too, puttin’ up taxes till 1 had to sell the best cow on the place in order to pay them. Findin’ jobs fer every darn socialist that ever set foot on our shores, an’ fillin’ us up with a lot of tommy rot about the way we wuz gittin’ skinned, when ‘all the time you had a scheme on foot to skin us a thousand times worse. “Tf you call that an organizashun, We've got it an’ the sooner we git Tid of it the better off we'll be ac-! cordin’ to your way o’ thinkir’.” “Bu Townley——” began the agent: “Yes, sez I, “Townley he’s the heatl, brains an’ liver o’ the whole things A fine stock in the “Bugle” an’ give the ;fel- | =" style at the farmers’ expense. “Don’t Townley me. I’ve had en- ough of him!” “But you don’t under- stand,” began‘the agent. “No I sup- pose not,” I sez. “A farmer always has heen looked on as a cross “be- tween a fool and his brother, but by gosh, I understand this much. You had me picked out for a, sucker, an’ the good Lord knows you had me sized up right—once. But now, I’m awake an’ it is goin’ to take more than a wind bag full o’ gas to separ- ate me from any more.o’ my money I'm willin’ to do all I can to help emancipate humanity, but when that emancipation comsists in the kind o° doings I’ve been hearing’ o’ Townley an’ his bunch, I’m done.” Gosh! The looks on that feller’s face were ‘en- ough to choke a horse an’ when 1 stopped laughin’ an’ looned around fer him, all I could see. wuz a cloud o’ dust way down the road. (To Be Continued.) Sore Throat, Colds Quickly Checked By Hamiin'’s Sore throat and chest colds should never be neglected. "Few people realize how often they re- sult seriously if -not - promptly checked. Hamlin’s Wizard Oil is a safe, simple and effective treat- ment. Used as a gargle for sore | British nobleman is to wed blacksmith’s daugh- ter, which proves—if nothing else—that black- smiths are’ not extinct, as repdrted. Governor Cox says he is not committed’ to the Hitchcock reservations. To what is he commit- ted? He does not say. The only inference is that he favors the Wilson Covenant-with no substan- tial alteration. on the chest it will often loosen up a_hard, deep seated cold’ in one night. Keep a bottle on the shelf. ‘Wizard Oil is a good dependable prep- aration to have in the medicine chest for first aid when the doctor may be far away. How often sprains, brulses, cuts and burns occur in every family, as well throat it brings quick relief. Rubbed . 4 that you cannot buy completely solved the OE x from’ the’ NORTHERN H fresh, delicious and so Very ‘econom- ically priced—a product that has lem in thousands cf hemes. 0 I KNOW Its Good , JUST what a host of housewives say and they will also tell you ! anything so butter prob- We-want you to try it. The purity/and wholesomeness of this splendid "spread {é¥ bread will prove a welcome surprise and we know that you will jbecome.a: constant daily user of Holiday Nutmargarine—made entirely il pressed ‘from the tétider, white meat of cocbanut¢thurned with peanut oil and milk and salted. Sold in one and two pound prints. Your grocer, market or delicatessen can supply you. COCOANUT BUTTER COMPANY MANUFACTURERS, MINNEAPOLIS IDA NUTMARGARINE Dealers Supplied by 3 Stacy-Bismark Co. , Wholesale Distributor MANDAN BOYS GAIN HONORS IN ATHLETICS Leslie R. Harrison, of Mandan, who gained honors in several running events at athletic events held at Pur- due university at Lafayette, Indiana, has again broken into print with some good. time for various sprinis| just held there. Harrison has been chosen to rep- resent Purdue, when that university meets the strong Illinois representa- tion. He will enter the biggest event in the meet, the dual cross country run. Harrison is the son of Mrs. H. Jess W.,;,Mandan. Second Av pother Mant boy who has been amide: is uglas Devine, son Supt and "Mfs..d. M. Devine, of the state training school. “Devine | who. tormerly. was on one of the football lineups for St. Thomas at St. Paul has been elected captain of the fresn- ELTINGE A new Louise Glaum picture, made by J. Parker Read, Jr., and released by Hodkinson comes to the Eltinge theatre tonight for a two-day engage- ment. “LOVE MADNESS” it is call- ed and the producer has promised that it marks the greatest triumph thus far of Miss Glaum’s, artistic career. In the course of the picture ‘Miss Glaum wears many of the remarkable dress creations for which she is noted —which ‘she herself designed espe- cially for this production. 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