The Bismarck Tribune Newspaper, December 30, 1919, Page 7

, Coal, the best coal mined i burn Lignite Coal ‘Co. ISDAY, DEC. 30, 1919 i WANT COLUMN | °. HELP WANTED—MALB YOUNG: MPN—18-35, for railway mail clerks. $1,300-$1,500. > Experience unnecessary. ~ Examinations. » Bis- marck Jan. 17, For free pariculars, write R. Terry (former civil service examiner) 137 Continental, -Bldg., Washington, D. C. . (A2-27-4t HERP WANTED—FEMALE STENOGRAPHER—State sal Ad: dress 129 Tribune, 2 “OFFICE GIRL—Able to operate typewrl er, Address 128 Tribune. 12-20-1t, WANTED—Girior woman for gen- aral housework, Call)623 Sixth'St, ROOMS ROR-RENT ‘ ‘FOR RENT—Two, furnished rooms for “Hght housekeeping. 722:6th St. Phone 5-X, 12-30-3t. ‘FOR RENT—Suite of two nicely furnish- ed” rooms with bath, O19 Fourth :St. Phone 511-U.. Be Four ROOMS. “For, rent all maar F jee warm place for win . Qoliars a month, 618 3d_St._'_ 12-29-6t, ‘FOR RENT —Two furnished rooms, for light housekeeping, one. laree : SP Pitt Street. Phone 485-X, 12-30-3t, _.POSITIONS WANTED _ MIDDLEAGED,. TRUSTWORTHY,” ‘te- fined woman with-bo96 years old wish- es position as Housekeeper in small fam- ily of adults or wjdower's home. Ad- dress 130 Tribune, References exchad = ed, 1 : BOSITION WANTED — Competent housekeeper’ with two children wants position. Phone 179-R. i : 122-27-8t WANTED—Position as housekeeper for widower or bachelor. Good cook. For particulars write to Mrs. L. B., Litchville, N. D, -12-27-2wks, LOST AND FOUND LOST—Lady’s fold ring with Sardonyx set. Leave Tribune office, Reward. FOUND—Small green felt pocket book. ‘Owner call and pay for this ad BOARDERS WANTED ‘Neatly done. “Satisfac- EL TAKER—Would like to go out. the day any. kind of sewing. Call 2. 1w 307 4th phone 544-R, . FOR SALE OR RENT— HOUSES AND FLATS FOR -RENT—A seven room mod nished house. Phone 608, FOR” SALE—Six room modern well located, on very reasonable terms. Geo, M. Register. 12-29-1wk. HOUSE FOR RENT—January 1. Ap- ply W..S. Casselman. Phone 272 or OQ. 12-27-4t FOR SALE—Modern ‘house, 5 rooms and*bath. Phone 205. 12-26-1wk WORK WANTED GRE WANTS WORK—In — good ‘home; is 21 years old, pleasing and lagreeable qualities, experienced in fousework, just beginning Christian life, wants protection of good home. Apply 125, Tribune office. 12-26-1wk. WANTED—By young lady, place to work for her board and room and Bo to school. Write No. 123 Tribune. s 12-26-4t es MISCELLANEOUS HIGH SCHOOL GIRLS—Would: like to ~eare for:children evenings, Phone 713K. _ 12-29-2t. AMERICAN “ADD! MACHINE—For sale cheap. We have, second hand add- ing machines of other makes also which we have traded in for sale, Phone 220-K Burroughs Adding Machine Co, 12-29-3t. BOARDER WANTED—Room. and board nine Mollars. per week, $1.50 per’ day, 50 cents and 75 cents per room. Steam Neated rooms. Banner House. “Phone _@L ; -29-Ani0. FREE WISCONSIN BULLETINS—Soll, climate, crops, Immigration Bureau, Wisconsin Dept. of. Agriculture, Capitol + Madison; -Wis, ‘> ‘1-24-60 Young girl going to high school de- sires place to work for her board and room. Apply Mr. Bolt at high’school. 12-27-3t. ¥OR SALE—Happy Home Honey from blossoms of alfalfa and sweet clover, thick and delicious. $12 por 5 gallon can at Malton. BN. Paul, Mahton, Wash, x 12-19-1mo FOR” SALE—Restaurant... Doing. a good business. Write No, 124, Tribune. - : : 12726-1Wk FOR SALE CHEAP —2 ‘rockers, 2 burner oil. stové, ‘kitchen . cabinet, ~\ all'in good condition: Mrs. F.. Holm- _boe. Phone 459) 1 wk FOR SALE—At a bargain brood while rabbits. Phone 459L. 12-27-1wk FOR “SALE—Sanitary Cate. Doing a good business. Will sell reasonable. Corner Fifth and Broadway. Write ‘No. 124, Tribune. 12-26-1wk. AMERICAN Adding and Listing, Ma: chine. Brand new and guaranteed, visible printing,’ red: totals, and’ ‘all latest features, remarkably low ePTice, $10:00.cash and balance small: 8 onthly, * payments. ‘Phone ~ 196. Write 113 Tribune. SS “Phone 453 for the cel- brated Wilton Lignite .in. North.Dakota. Wash- it} parts of the actors in the skits which brass bed, high chair, porch: shades, | - lon IT BEAUTIFUL ? 7] ry ' Nothing Sacred to Merrymakers, Who Even Burlesque Burleson and Make Much Adoo of Mc- Adoo—Men Prominent in Pub- lic and Private Life Compose Extensive Guest List Washington, Dec ‘The Gridiron club had its little evening of fun with public men and things at its opening winter dinner last week Headed by Vice Pre: cabinet membors, ambassadors and ministers of the diplomatic corps, and ‘members of congress, a large guest list included f men well known in public and private life. Nothing was spared from the tra- ditional gridiron, The railroad prob- Jem, prohibition, the labor — situation, Woman sult reform and other topics in the public cye came in for their share of good humored_ treat- ment. a; Mombers of the club, principally Washington correspondents, took the did the “gridironing’” on these sub- jects. y Moonshine on Program. As the capital, like the renfainder of the country now has “dry ban- quets,” or at is supposed to, it seemed approy that one of the skits should be on “Moonshine.” A company of moonshiners prepar- shown and ing some “brew some of th ialogue included: the fol- lowing “ e “A gridiron dinner is not the place for that sort of thin, “There ain't no place where more needed.” “Speaking of books on the. subject, I see by the papers that the prohibi- tion enforcement agents raided the! office of ‘The Satui ening Post’ | and confiscated Henry Watterson . “Hag it got any kick in i “Kick, well you ought to see the way it keeled over Morris Sheppard and Wes Jones the other day,” “I see Vice President (Marshall's here. Did you hear him order the senate galleries cleared the other day when we cheered Jim Reed?” /"Oh, yes, that's the oldest moon- shine around here.” “I suppose you read that Josephus Daniels thinks he has a presidential boom?” “That's moonshine off a green cheese.” : “Speaking for the old solid demo- cratic , party, I, nominate the. best- known’ moonshine dispenser of ‘the it’s DOINGS OF THE DUFFS The exchange tax on a Christmas present— f TOM; Those Are BEAUTIFUL SILK PAJAMAS NOU GAVE Me FoR, CHRISTMAS | - Youre A PERFECT DEAR! I'm GLAD You BISMARCK: DA’ BY ALLMAN | BELIEVE 7om! THAT I'D PREFER. A SILK KIMONA INSTEAD OF THE PAJAMAS AT THAT — TRIBUNE. ' sh WELL, WHY DONT You"). TAKE THEM BACK-AND | .. LIKED THEM EXcHANGe THEM? (DID ‘THaT VERY THING. ToDAy — SEE WHAT 1 GOT STEAD ? very preva! SAME PRICE? GRIDIRON CLUB MOONSHINES AND UNSCRAMBLES RAILWAYS IN ANNUAL FROLIC AT THE NATIONAL CAPITA dent Marshall, | ° day, Mr. Will H. H chairman. of * OW, GEES THERES MR. FREESE = WATcH NE SCARE HIM. the republican national committee.” GOT LOTSA I'LLO MISTER. FREESE © DIDNT VA! 0, BUT | ONIN HAD “To } PAN Twentvy Five: DoLLAgs(/ ee MoRE ~— ae Ke you cannot unscramble eggs, He was wrong. By the exercise of a little magic, to which we modestly lay claim, we shall illustrate how the rail- roads of the United States may he scrambled and then in the twinkling of an eye, as it wére, and so to speak. unscrambled again. Can anyone loaa me silk hat. I shall return it prompt- ly and entirely undamaged.” (Man steps forward with silk hat. He 4s Mr. Investor, a well-known citi- zen). McAdoo—‘I ‘shall’ return’ it) with its pristine beauty untarnished.” Investor—"Please be careful. That. hat represents the sale of a Liberty bond,” McAdoo—“Tut, tut,—have no fear— wo shall not hurt it in the slighte I shall break this ogg into the ha “On behalf of the United States re- publican party, progressive and’ re- actionary factions, I suggest there is no finer connoisseur' of moonshine than Mr. Homes S. Cummings, chair- man of the democratic national com- mittee.” It was decided to present both chairmen with. a bottle, of ‘Moon- shine.” The bottles, they were told, were “refillable.” \ Unscrambling Railroads. The railroad skit dealt with scrambling the railroad: “un- tors represented former Di so-—” (breaks egg and drops egg and eral McAdoo, Director Gene shell into the hat). vi 5 Investor-—‘Oh, my hat!” McAdoo—"Tut,—tut,—sir. Have no : BY AHERN ( o8oY~ “tHe: qu'c'< CHANGE FROM aren) oe “To INDIA SURE WOUND UP A ee COLDIN- MY HEAD = EF OS SNEEZING ON ALL QUININE, CYLINDERS» q WEH- HEH: fF likes to retire while tho retiring is '! Utopia right at home.” ‘Trust-me, Kindly turn your What you don’t see won't an- noy you. Now we take another egg and break itso. Now we ti flour—add' some coal—pour in of this agreeable variety of ketchup-— a little sand—and finish with a dash of vinegar. Please don’t groan, Mr. It is all right, All these in- are symbolic, gentlemen, scrambled, fears. back. ents Bred Now we have ‘the roads This completes my part of the trick, I shall now pass the buck—I mean the hat—to my friend, Mr, Hines, who will, in his magic way, with a few passes, produce the beautiful rabbit] 1 known as government operation and control and return the hat und A to my: good friend, Mr In (Investor. groans). Hines (looks at hat and glares at MecAdoo)-—"I am déeply indebted to Mr. McAdoo for his trust and confi- dence, [ wish he had. finished the trick, ‘He hates the Umelight and But to the trick, gentlemen. ver the hat for aesthet- It is w litle hat with handker- ake these m) ying the ¢ — pocus -- 1 ‘aught Me By Mr. quickly raise the cloth and here we have arts back, looking nervou Ah, I see, Mr. Me- Adoo forgot something, Let mo add the Plumb plan.” (drops three plums. and breaks another egg. ‘Investor groans and tears his hair). Hines — (Continuing —- have it. Hocus—pocus. up handkerchief, loo! tar a to McAdoo, saying: ) My God, Mac, I can't do Bretherhoods McAdoo, Then not affair That's your Kk Hines—"Eut this mess—what will I do?” I can't | i McAdoo—“Oh, hand it back. He can't kick.” Hines-“Here you are sir.” (Hands he jhat to Investor, who takes it and yells:) McAdoo and Hine: ‘ They'll fix it for bow and go off). “Mr. president, is it true E present a up to ou,” (both Gridiron club dinners? juntil I get outside before I say any- thing more.” The Labor Problem. to politics got a “brief touch” in a skit wherein a policeman disturbed the banqueters, entering with a rav- ing maniac, “Who's he” was demanded. “Well,” replied the policeman, “it seems that a few days ago he was waited on by the managers of his po- been selected to. write the labor plank in the next year’s platform, There s another labor skit de- scribed as the “one hundred and wenty-seventh installment of the ‘ontinuous ,Comedy .Drama.” One acter who acknowledged that he was made up to look like Judge Gary of the United States steel corpo- ration, said he had trouble remem boring his lines and was admonished t them. structions every time he fol i announced Another called Lentrotsk that he was tho “sole surviving mem ber of the international labor confer enc nd told the din that his col- leagues had been “asph, United States senate.” He 1 he used both tho names of “Lentrotski” and “W. Z, Foster” in “his b Finally, the director of the ski nounced that it was “rotten” and that it would be done Mill over again, hours rights. “Life is one damn strike after the other” groaned the director, ~ The Coal Crisis. The coal crisis came in for separate it dealing with oal king, the land butcher, the bak the y and other functionari ot ay life all had promient parts through which they bewailed the Prospect of no greater profits. The coal king sang that his idea {of the greatest fun was “high priced j coal and a short weight ton.” a day” and “knew thvir The pitalist said his idea of Uto- pia was “a place where there is neither. income nor excess profits He wailed that “its got so more.” When the walking delegate entered he. was invited to “come over and meet Judge Anderson of Indianapolis, “was bus x of Utopia advised them all to go back “‘to the good old U. S. A. play the game. square and find The walking delegate allowed’ that the place wasn't Utopia after all but vather was “hell# words arranged for the occasion com- pleted the evening. It-included a lit- Ue song for Vice President Marshall Then I'll wait: not “to run up to New York for in-} ire can't lay up a dollar any-; The labor problem and its relation |i litical party and. informed that he’s! taxes and you can charge 20 per cent} @ “but the delegate protested that he Some singing to popular airs with! : It Was Steady While It Lasted. NO-THESE ARE To ——= BE MAILED = TM ee WAITING FoR THE | MAIL T'OAY You Don't Now IF “TUE, POSTMAN HAS. BEEN Yo Nour House VET, Do You 3 For ! to the tune of “Bubbles” frain: ‘Vm foreve! But the; li entitled Jim,” dour newly clected mAnbers to the club, Ashman 'N. Brown of the Seattle Post-Intellige: of MM. Obs: Boston n "|the Gridiron quartette, but the diners would have none of it, the chair pronounced them the whereat another skit. QUAIL AND PHEASANTS with the re- cing troubles, ~~ never get my goat." "i ‘ah, Reed \and Johnson ame in tor a litle ditty “Hiram, and William and er; Mark: L. on and Dall Charlotte N. ¢ Groves of the ated, ‘Thi the Galve Le Globe Ww tried to pass ther olf suc sive the four horsemen of the , the four apostl the at the pe. and aun flu “Kot four to ne: they retired BY THE THOUSANDS ARE by Otto M Jones h urging of feed in di spend the winter. Severe Idaho, whe quail med | deep snow is cold, the game ware vents the birds from fee Boise, ldaho, Dee, 30 Ing cold, DYING FROM EXPOSURE Record break- deep snoy zards are threatent of quail and pl ording to an off to kill thou ants in Idaho, ment Southern of nc and bre plae s low as 15 degre been reported. ared more than intense It pre- ALBERTA GIRL BAGS 1,400-POUND MOOSE) Dec. 30. ? into Minn eem to be outdor the ex- nee of M Moll ple Au whereupon the actors struck and an-! Tribune Block nounced that they worked only “three! OU, NO WE NEVERS GET AAY MORE MAIL SINCE WE HAVE our. PIANO PAID A FACTOR WORTHY OF DEEP COGITATI “Satisfied Shippers” and “Hon- est Returns” have guided and lead the Bismarck Hide & in promoting a volue of busin “Satisfied Customer: have been and always our basic idea in making returns, Buyers of Furs, Pelts, Wool, Hides and Sunk, Tanners of Furs, Coats, Rebes und Leather. Write for price lists and catalog. & Bismarck Hide & Fur Co, Bismarck, N. D. DR. W. H. PEWE, D. C. Doctor of Chiropractic Lucas Block R. 8. ENGE, D. C. Ph. C, Chiropractor Consultation Free ated by the| Suite 9,11—Lucas Block—Phone 260 E. T. BURKE LAWYER Phone 752 BISMARCK FURNITURE CO. 220 Main St. Furniture Upholstery Repaired, Refinished and Packed, . Griffis, the Contractor. He ¢ k you a choice residence lot 7 on easy terms. Everyone should own their own home. Have you given thought? If so, consult will sell you a new home with a small payment and a low rate of interest. Or will build you one reason- able for cash. Or will sell Phone 366-R up" and continued | | Stories tian | Bismarck, N. D. | it a Bl; she was the possessor of a’ bull moose weighing more than 1,400 pounds, Th imal was shot near the mfil ’s father. The young woman ran into three moose but the others got away. The antlers of the dead moose have ning pointsand a dof four feet. Miss Stapley, who is only 18 years old, has been hunting for the past seven years. * Oh! 3 Hosiery. es! JOMNSON'S. for "|FOR SALE—All kinds of stove wood. Phone 818. PROrESIONAT Fiiushine [or Aniarcun Prioveannnanns Al BHAT CEPLe ; He EI | | * BISMARCK -Noxtn Dairy } Bring or Mail in Your Films | for Expert Developing FINNEY’S DRUG STORE Bismarck, N. D. «| WEBB BROS. | Undertakers — Embalmers Funeral Directors \ \ Licensed Embalmer in Charge Day Phone 50 Night Phone 65 PERRY UNDERTAKING PARLORS Day Phone 109-M Night Phones 687 or 100 , Licensed Embalmer in Gharge Bismarck Construction Company . GENERAL CONTRACTORS Western Sales Bldg. Phone 35 Bismarck 7 PRINTING —— FINISHING DEVELOPING AND ENLARGING MAIL US YOUR FILM Orders Filled Promptly by Exports HOSKINS ck DE LAVAL . Cream Separators The World’s Standard FRENCH & WELCH Hardware Implements Harness | BISMARCK” MOTOR COMPANY Distributors of STUDEBAKER ——and—— TADILLAC Automobiles BUICK and | OAKLAND Valve-in-Head Motors CORWIN MOTOR CO. Bismarck, X. D.!