The Bismarck Tribune Newspaper, May 13, 1919, Page 2

' PAGE 2. z BISMARCK DAILY TRIBUNE USELESS-JOB-HOLDERS AT PEACE MEET, \ BY HAROLD E. BEC European Manager of N. A, What is the most useless job at the peace conferenc “MINE!” answe The door turners; i ‘The roof guards; The experts. - Read and decide for yourself— * * antly, “How do you like your job?” decided not to; and answered; “Go @ hell!” your job.” “Reporter eh? * Hour after hour, day after d: roof guards—American soldiers ed. to the teeth—pace back and forth across the roof of the Crillon Hotel, | guardin’.” which houses the Amer peace mis-| He surveyed sion, their fixed bayonets glistening | smiled wea in the sun, Madeleine roof.” At the Whirli Their job is to taps the telephone wires leading to the diplomats’ rooms, and that no spies are dropped from airplanes or b loons, I “interviewed” one of these s by shouting up from a top floor win- dow opening on a court: “Hey!” doors for a joke job * * * the housetops sig Door. e that nobody scowled, between the chimneys. to The Iowa private, an electr’ sjfore the war, whirled the ice man entered the lobby. “How do you like your job?” SSS . SANS The Kind You:Have Always Bought, and which has been ‘jn use for over’ thirty ‘years, has borne the signature of je = and has been made under his pére CN a sonal supervision sincé: its‘ infancy. fe i Allow no one to deceive you in this, All Counterfeits, Imitations and “‘ Just-as-good” are but Experiments that trifle with and endanger the health . of Infants ‘and at is GCASTC Experiment. a e What is CASTORIA Castoria’is a harmless substitute for Castor Oil, Paregoric, Drops’ and Soothing Syrups. It is pleasant. ‘It contains neither Opium, Morphine nor other narcotic substante. Its age is its guarantee. For more than thirty years it has been in constant use for the relief of Constipatioa, Flatulency, ‘Wind Colic and Diarrhoea; allaying Feverishness arising therefrom, and by regulating the Stomach and Bowels, aids the assimilation of Food; giving healthy and natural sleep. Tae Children’s Panacea—The Mother's Friend. GENUINE CASTORIA ALways Bears the Signature of 7 A ‘e la Use For Over 36-Years The Kind You Have Always Bought THE CENTAUR COMPANY NEW YORK CITY, | Why You Should Buy an Alaskan Refrigerator RE, TED ¥ 1—Alaska Insulation and Con- struction, which consists. of Metal Tinning, Inside Matched Case, Charcoal Sheathing, Wooden Cleats, Carbonized Pebbled Cork, Charcoal Sheath- ing and Outside Paneled Case. 2—Alaska Overhead Circula- tion System. : sanitary. 3—Seamless Porcelain Linings. 4—We also have’\the White Enamel Lining. 5—Alaska Ice Rack’, is made of galvanized steel, heavily coat- Day Phone 100-M. Opposite the Postoffice. EACH THINKS OWN JOB MOST USELESS |, “Hey, yourself!” none too pleas- He debated whether’ to shoot me, “Can’t; got to write a story about * Say, ain’t this u swell job for a soldier * * * I got it on the guys that turn the revolving C’mon up and look at this important cable I’m and y. “Fine view of th’ ‘Then he looked at the wires and} Then he wheeled and walked away ician he- volving }door and a big-shouldered secret serv- ed and electric ily removed for cleaning. / 6—Alaska Shelf, ismade of woven wire, electrically welded. Tt will not rust. It is perfectly 7—Alaskan Drain Pipe and Patent Trap. The end of the_!% waste pipe projects below the | overflow opening in this trap, thus keepjng the end of the pipe submerged in the water, pre- venting the warm air from pass- ing up the pipés into the’ ice chamber. —<—<—_— ————_—_—_—_ 2 in. continuous post, with 1 in. ‘filler. These Beds are in beautiful Vernis Mar- tin finish, extremely massive in propor- tion, rigidly constructed, and of a class and character that will add an air of distinction to any bedroom. | Perry Furniture & Undert He kept his eye on the sidewalk and smiled over his shoulder: “Unless, ain’t it? * * * It would have been easier for that fellow to push the door himself than it was for him to figger out how fast 1 was go- ing to swing it.”” He kept the door going for a stream of men and women, “Lookit ’em eye me * * * See} * * * See how it puzzles ’em!”’ “Why don’t you swap jobs with/a roof guard?” . “Well, they’re got the satisfaction of knowing that if somebody wasn’t guardin’ the roof, the roof wouldn’t be guarded. But this darn job—the door’d keep revolyin’..if there wasn’t unybody here. And the’ pedple’d get through with a whole lot less. worry.” The college professor, an energetic middle-westerner, was literally squirm- ing in his chair. He is an American peace mission’s expert on—cull it Zipland, since 1 promised not to embarrass him, It’S sented by Crillon experts, “How do you like your job?” “It isn’t a job; it’s a title.” Tle didn’t need ‘questioning. “You're not. going to embarrass, me are you? * * * All right. T’ll tell you some- of it appeals to me, only at brief, widely separated intervals. “T haven't been called upon for a single, ‘solitary thing since peace be- gan to be made, Not a thing. < “The council had Zipland up twice without asking for anything, and I thought perhaps it was up to me to offer something. “So I went to the secretariat and inquired whether any information was desired. I was told‘ ‘Why—er—certainly, send it right along:over.’ = “'Send what?’ I asked. ‘Oh, any- thing you have about Zipland would |be valuable, Can you imagine that? I have enough information about Zip- land to fill a library. i : “Well, I decided to do something— so I prepared a summarized memoran- dum or racial. poptilation, a political summary, a brief historical paper. somepertinent geographic facts and so on. And sent them over the follow- ing evening. : : “By that time, I have since Téaryied, some sort of an ‘agreement had been reached, and I guess it still stands. Aanyhow, they never had any use for my data. I have taken some pains to He Guards the Cable. find out, and I am confident the mat- ter I sent over has not been read by a soul—not even by a secretary, “Oh, well, I haye been out to the front, out to Versailles, and have had three months to study Paris * ut * But I feel so"blamed. good-for-nothing!” “Is this true of all the ‘experts?’” “Yes, in varying degrees. Zipland affairs aren’t the subject of as much controversy as some others—but 75 per cent of the expert advisors have had ten days for gathering know- ledge or seeing Paris to one day of ad- vising. And a lot ‘of them are jus' =| like’ me—absolutely useless! MONSTROUS DOCUMENT. + Berlin (Sunday), May 11.—Presi- dent Bbert called ‘the peace treaty ‘monstrous document.” He history holds no precedent for such de- termination to annihilate completely vanquished people, Dance at Armory Tuesday and Saturday. O’Connor’s Orchestra. ally welded, eas- Night Phones 687 or 100 one, of a dozen small countries repre- | | thing funny, though the humorous side | declared | } | would wear them, . But it is straight f} women to pinch their waists in so that tactitély uncomfortable. Y. W. C.-A: SETS Above is a picture of thé new com- mon sense shoe advocated’ by physical directors, The heel is broad and flat, the toe roundyand the ankle properly supported. \ The war Workers of the Y. W. G. A. believe in’ starting their “reconstruc: | tion program “from the ground up."| They are going to start with the feet) of American girls, . Through their hundreds of phys directors in every local association in the ‘country, they will strive to give every girl a beautiful, normal foot, which will defy “broken arches” and “flat foot” ahd improve her health and disposition, + The only answer to all foot problems is SHOES. _The right shoe, the sen- sible shoe for every foot and every, oc- easton, ‘Mhe regulations for the blue uniform worn by war Workers of the Y, W. CG, Av decree tan or black walking shoes or boots with flat heels. Harriet Wild, head of the division of physical education of the National Board of the Y, W. C. A.. is ponsible for the new era in shoes—common | sense shoes which are guaranteed to make one walk with a spring at sixty- five, to protect one from cori bunions, callouses, to make one’s feet beautiful, your health ‘perfect and disposition happy and cheerful. Shoes hav mendous effect on health and tion. The United States of America is on the verge of avrevolution in shoes, Mi: Wild says, and she has practically very secretary at headquarters and every shoe manufacturer con- of it. She will soon, launch a de campaign advocnting that -kind in general adopt. some tyle of shod Which is plastic, has a raight-inner board and flat, straight- heel. ‘Can’t the American people get away from followi i ne Miss Wild, a 3 hon sense and comfort? The Chinese are the only people I esin think of who believe that the foot to. be beautiful , Pinched up and. de- ave seen women in’ this4 country whose feet nearly resembled those of a Chinese woman’s which had been bound—all ‘the restilt. of high heelsand ‘long, pointed ‘toes. One can{t call that type of shoe barbarie because neither barbarians or heathens torture to allow ‘people to continue Wearing that. sort of thing so that when they dre middle-aged they have to hobble along instead of getting ecim- fort out of walking. “Intellectual people are respon- sible for the present’ style of shoes. Why should one expect women in gen- to Weir s ble shoes when the intelectual women of the country are suclt ves, a " the s ? i the body now. It is ered ‘fashionable - nor sensible they cannot breathe, They have gone corsetless long enough to refuse to go back to’ styles which will make them “Thé greatest difficulty in “persuad- ing people to wear sensible sfioes comes because. they have’ been classed*as “cures or correctives” for so long. They should’ not be ei” upon as ‘A badge of ‘illness: jn one’s feet but. as the sign for normal, healthy feet. The human foot is beau Therefore, why not wear a/‘shoe ich’ fits the of thé foot... Why. isn’t such utiful® Tt fs a direct. insult maker to ‘consider it, other- CREWS ON PLANES IN: ATLANTIC FLIGHT \fd., May 18. ing, if possible, stead ef fi - planned, and With extra propellors aboard, Com- mander John H, Powers, chi expedition announced= tod statement — detailing pr measures adopted to insuré so. f: possible cémpletion of the non-stop flight to the Azores, it Tuereases in crews and equipment are the result, Commander Powers an- nounced, of experience gained in th flight from Halifax, when th@ N: flagship o fthe expedition, was delayed at the start and then: compelled to re- turn to her port after cruising fifty miles. TO HAVE GOOD HOMES Brussels, M. 13.—Ten — thousand dags of war are being demobilized, ‘They’re the real dogs that aided. the allies as dispatch bearers, watch dogs and staff dogs. And every’ one of these dogs is honored with a military livery bearlng service stripes, Some of. the dogs will go back to their owners, who loaned them for the duration of the War, A big industrial firnr has asked for 300 of them. «Others. will stay. in Military service. . The Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals will adopt. the Iss fortinate, those recoy- ered from wounds of battle, and_will see that ‘they hayé hoines for life, “kh a ~ ON FOOT __ SHOE REFORMS FOR WOMEN This shows the imprint of a normal foot, (left) and the imprint of a “flat foot” (right), Test yours by wetting the bare sole with water and pressing on a sheet of bloting: paper. ENGLAND IS’ ENTERING SUGAR BEET INDUSTRY London; May 12.—England has_ en- tered the beet sugar field, Experi- ments before the war established the sugar beet. would grow as‘well in Eng- land in Germany, At Kelham 5,000 will ‘be largély devoted to’ beet re and a plant’has been built. It. Women Find Clear Skin ~~ dn Simple Laxative zamum A sense of false modesty often. prevents % admitting that many of her ills and disorders are due primefily. #4 to constipation. not dislodge it. remedies, skin lotions and method. to do as promised. PRICE AS ALWAYS / ,_ In spite of greatly increased laboratory costs due to the War, by sacrificing profits end absorbing war taxes we have “main- tained “the: price at which this family lax. ative has been sold by druggists for the past 26 years. Two'sisee— But women who know themselves have learned thatiiad, ache remedies and beautifiers only cover the trouble'but do i What is needed is a remedy to move the bowels and stir up-the torpid liver. An ever-increasing number of sensible Fs "women take a emall dose of a combinatiog of simple laxative herbs with pepsin known as Dr. Caldwell’s Syrup Pepsin and sold by druggists under that name. & xe mck It will save a woman from the habitual u: bowels are emptied. and regulated, the headache and the pimples and blotches disappear. al A bottle of Syrup Pepsin lasts a family along time, and {i all will find use forit from time to time. Thoughtful people ‘} age never without it in the house. The druggist will refund your amoney if it faile Syrup The Perfect FREE SAMPLES— If you ; Dr. Caldwell’s Syrup Pepsin send for a free trial bottle to Dr. W. B, Caldwell, 468 Washington ¢ St., Monticello, Il. ask for a copy of Dr. Caldwell’s book, “The /; Care of Baby.” i SDAY, MAY 13, 1919. women fram: ~~ similar : makeshifts. It is the rational, natdral +f Dr. Caldwell’s f Laxative ave never used If there are babies at'liome, * would réquire- a’ half-million acres and a factory investment of $150,000, 000 to produce one-twenty-fifth of Brit- ain’s? sugat consumption. Yes; S.S.S. Is Purely Vegetable Nature’s Safe Blood Treatment Known for 50 Years as the Best _ Remedy for Rheumatism, Ca- tarrh, Scrofula, Skin | Diseases. Scientists have discovered that the forest and the field, are abundantly supplied with vegetation of various kinds, that furnish the ingredients for making a remedy, for practically every ill and’ ailment of mankind. Medicines made from roots, herbs, and barks| s which Nature has placed at the dis- posal of man, are better than strong mineral mixtures and ° concoctions. Mineral medictnes work dangerously on the deticaie parts of the system, eSpecially the stomach and bowels, by eating out the lining membrane, proe ducing chronic dyspepsia and often en- tirely ruining the health, 2 S. S. S. is made entirely of gentle acting, healing, purifying roots, herbs and barks, possessing’ properties ‘that build up all ‘parts of’ the system,, in addition to removing all impuri! id poisons from the blood. S. safe“ treatment for Rheumat tarrh, Scrofula, Sores and Ulcer: Diseases, Blood Poison, and uil ‘dise orders of the blood. It cleanses the éntire system and it’s pe nt. Get . S. S. at any drug ‘store today. Tt is a standard remedy. recognized everywhere as the greatest blood antidote ever discovered. If yours is a peculiar case write to Medical Director, 261 Swift Laboratory, At- lanta, Ga. * The of the Oil Manufac- : Standard Company | (Indiana) NDEI. “71 5 the manufactur-4y ley ing activities of the Standard... Oil Company (Indiana), are the ©: “same ‘high ideals of service; thesame. . thoughtful*“consideration . of ‘ detail; the same earnest ‘desire to. do‘a:big ... job thoroughly and'well, which-ani- mates the Company in every other branch of its business., Every facility which.wide experience; ample : resources, and the utmost skill of scientific- ally trained technicians can, devise, or sug: .. gest, is provided to insure absolute uniform - ity and the highest standard of quality in each of the many. products manufactured Facilities . by the Standard Oil Company (Indiana.) The manvfactuting facilities of the Com- pany are concentrated in three: great ‘refin- eries, one located at Whiting, Ind., covering 700 acres; one at Wood River, Ill, ‘coveriig every:. product of 600 acres; and one, at Sugar Creek, Mo., covering 200 acres of ground. « The Whiting works is conceded td be the most complete, the most perfectly organized oil refinery in the world.. Here practically * petroleum is manufac- tured, and here are located the great ‘re- search laboratories where the problems of manufacture are worked out and Solved. Creek are modern The plants at Wood River “and. Sagar in every particular ‘and so organized as to use évery.part of the crude oil.. This enables the’ Company. to keep manufacturing costs at a minimum . and to supply its’ patrons with products of the highest standard at prices which’ other- wise would be impossible. : The 7,000 earnest, industrious, well-paid men and women who make up the per- sonnel of these three refineries, Constitute, we believe, the most loyal, the’ most _en- thusiastic, most. efficient,-industrial army:to be found anywhere, , ; The facilities alone for manufacture main- taimed by the Standard Oil Company (In- mately 0,000,000. ‘ it an investment -of approxi- This: investment ‘is growing constantly to enable the Company. 2 to maintain the high standard of service it has set for itself and which it believes'the public is entitled to receive, Sy Standard Oil Company (Indiana) <a 910 So. Michigan Avenue » ¥