Bemidji Daily Pioneer Newspaper, May 27, 1922, Page 6

B & s £ [ 5 »me,« = PAGE SIX THE BEMIDIIDAILY PIONEER . SATURDAY EVENING, MAY 27, 1922 —_—_—-—-—mn—w THE Twentieth Century LIMITED Remember the Judge Prosecuting Attorney (to oppo- nent) : “You're the biggest boob I ever knew.” Municipal Judge (rapping for or- der): “Gentlemen, you must not forget that I am here.” —DM-:tion Granted— Maybe He Does iDear Twenticih Century: It seems to me as if that fellow who did the sawing stunt. at the Grand theater would use up a lot of women in a year, with 2 couple of performances every night. It does seem as if he would, we will admit. —But, Does He?— The Dickens He Does! An Irishman who recently had be- come a union man saw this sign in a store window: “Dickens’ Works All This Week for Only $4.00.” “The devil he does!” exclaimed Pat. “The dirty scab.”—The Falcon. —Cheap at Half the Price— BABE RUTH IS DEPOSED AS CAPTAIN OF YANKS Whashington, May 27.—Babe Ruth, repentant, but unworried because of the action of President Ban Johnson in deposing him as captain of the Yanks and fining him $200 for losing his temper while playing ball at the Polo Grounds, was to get back into the game here today. “I am sorry that I lost my temper, but I am not worrying about the cap- This captain business never ot me anywhere, anyway. I am through worrying now, and the only thing I want to do is play ball and do my best to beat the home-run record of last year,” Ruth said. He said he did not know who would succeed him as captain. BEMiDJI GROCERY CO. UNDERGOING REPAIRS The Bemidji Grocery Co. store huilding on Minnesota avenue is un- dergoing repairs and is to have a new and modern show front installed, which will lend attractiveness to the display and add to the many im- provements recently made on that avenue. MEMORIAL DAY d « Plants FOR THE GRAVES We are located very handy, right near Greenwood Cemetery We Will Also Have Cut Flowers Peonies Carnations Jasmines . Cemetery Vases TOMATO PLANTS Out-deor grown, will not wilt, in following varieties: Jchn Baer, Earliana, Wing’s Early Sunrise, Stone, Pende- rosa, Yellow Big Red Pear, Yellow Pear and Husk To- matces. Cabbage ,Cauliflower, Cel- ery, Egg Plants, Lettuce. Peppers, in the following va- rieties: Bullnose, Neapolitan, Sweet Spanish, Cayenne long red. Transplanted plants for the garden: Aster, Phloxe, Drummondi Stocks, Balsam and others. Perenial Plants. WINDOW BOXES A SPECIALTY BELTRAMI NURSERY South of Greenwood Cemetery —PHONE 363-J— T0 DECORATE GRAVES A committee of the Ralph Gracie post of the American Legion in charge of decoration of graves ol all ex-service men in the two local cemeteries seeks a public_contribu- tion to finance this project. This was the action taken last year and a sufficient sum was realized. Ap- proximately $100 is needed to dec- orate the graves appropriately. Contributions may be sent to the Legion post or to the Pioneer office. Checks should be made payable-to the Ralph Gracie post. The list of contributors will be published from day to _day as the fund increases. So far only the following con- tributions have been recewed F. C. Montague. . B. L. Johnson.. 1$1.00 Beltrami Vursery, by "Otto Brose............ . 55 00 Glenn _ Conger 1.00 Dr. B. Borreson .$2.00 John Messelt .$1.00 J. C. Penny Co. .. Northern Nat’l Bank Nels Hakkerup Hub Clothing Co. 0. M. Skinvik. May O. Given. H H. Taylor ... Patterson. J. D. Winter.. George Gustafson Fred Fraser.. J. J. Pearce.. Claude Bailey Earl Bailey. . Thayer Bailey. H, L. Huffman Henry Miller.. R. D. Melville. D. H., Linehan. Walter Barker. Quincy Brooks. Mrs. Quincy Brool C. L. Pegelow... Mrs. G. M. Torrance W. F. Middlestadt. Edward Jackson. William Stakis. J. T. Tuomy.. DOVE WAS THERE, ALL RIGHT But the Effect on the Congregation Was Not Quite All Preacher Had Expected. An amusing story is told of a re- ivival meeting held In a church at- tended by ne- groes. In order that the revival spirit might be quickened, it was arranged that the preacher should give a signal when he thought the excitement was highest, and through a hole cut ln the cemng over the pulpit the sexton was to throw down a pure white dove, whose flight around the church and over the heads of the audi- ence was expected to cap the climax. All went well at the start; the church was packed; the preacher's text was “In the form of a dove,” and as he piled up his eloquent perlods the excitement wgs intense. Then the opportune moment arrived, the signal was given, and the packed audionce was scared out of its wits on looking up to the celling and be- folding a cat, with a clothes-line round {ts body, being lowered over the preacher's head. ‘The preacher called out to the sex- ten; “Whar's de dove?” “Inside de cat!” was the reply. Bold Female Bandits. Two Los Angeles men were held up and robbed by women the other night. One of the victims requested the pleas- lure of escorting two comely girls home from a public dance. Several ! blocks away, at a dark corner, one of | the girls softly sald: “Stick 'em up, ,honey, and hold ‘em high,” punctuat- {ing her remarks with a pistol. The other girl carelessly removed $35 from the victim's pockets and they then bade him a, fond good-night. Mean- while the other victim, not far from the dance hall, met a titian-haired woman who relieved him of $281 while menuacing him with a revolver. Felt He Was Overloaded. “I've got enough to do, I'l be hanged if I cha verybody's cows and chickens, too." It was in this wise that Frank Creamer of Peru, Mass., called a halt on the honors be- Ing given him at the town meeting. bad just elected “Mayor" Creamer moderator, town clerk, selectman, treasurer, tax collector, overseer of the poor and member of the health board. Then some one nominated him for field driver and he called quits, Case to Beat the Highwayman, A money carrying case for bank nes- sengers and others sounds its awn alarm If the bearer is held up. The case has in its lid a ggod sized gong and two circuits operate it by means of triggers in the carrying handle. It the unlucky messenger wishes to sound an Immediate alarm a slight pressure on one trigger is all that is required. If he should consider It expedient that the holdup man be some distance away when the alarm rings, another trigger sets a plunger which starts the alarm after a prede- termined interval. The alarm wil ring for six bours continuously. Asa consequence so much unexpected at- tention is attracted to the thief that he is apt to discard his noisy loot and run~DPopular Mechanics Magazina The 19 voters of this Berkshire town; H i oJACK AND JILL® An Rudzerd Kipling would have treated PR M g S i Now Jack hath taken his pail in hand and trodden the gorse-flecked hill, He hath trodden the dust as a strong man must, he hath taken the maiden Jill; He hath leapt the burn like a wind-caught tern, he hath climbed with a spring- bok's grace— He hath laughed full-throat at the moun- tain goat that couldn't keep up the pace! But the malden Jill was a skirt of skill, and lithe_as a_pew-cut reed, She was tough:ab A SBe In jiiscle and thew, and'sib to tlie best ye breed; She styck to Jack. like,a huntin by, Tipes, th Who_follows_ 18 “gping som Traflof th poin i “PRICTE N {0 & (O0ieT devum? But Jack was sore as a spear-galled boar whan he found shie had done her bit— "By the blood of & squid, am I man or kid, to be tled by a thin-shanked chit? Ha' done, ha' done—I'm & son-of-a-gun it Iyleld to & whey-faced Jane; Y6 have followed me up like & Startled pup—will ye follow me down again?" He hath turned about with u single shout and plunged from the highest rock— He hath gone stralght down and splin- tered his crown as ye shatter an ill- made crock. And the majdén JUl with a cackle shrill jumped down on the blood-smeared stones— Andthe full-gorged kite dines well tos night, and zh- Jackal cracks m bones! ) =T Babingon In Cleveland Plain nmq. , LOWERED TRUCK DOWN SHAFT What at First Looked Like Hard Prob- lem Easily Solved York Engineers. A novel feat has just plished by the engineers York Telephone company. It was necessary to l. once through a new tunnel under the East river or compel a la district to wait 12 mon A the tunnel had not been e: no, eils had been laid phone service, Butithe nfib‘gv‘?:::zég_ THE |0N£Eh' WANT ADS|#7 Motive I ENG d ill BEMIDJI People Be ontent With AnythingLess Than MONARCH Quality? HE first Monarch ranges shipped into Bemidji, 22 years ago, gave a degree of satisfaction that people had never before experienced. Their repu- tation spread quickly. Nearly everyone who want- ed a good range bought a Monarch. More Monarch Ranges were sold in and around this city than any other make of range. BEMIDJI People DEMAND a Malleable Range Every year the demand for They know it is because of its malleable construc- tion that the Monarch stands head and shoulders above all competition. Don’t Buy Any Range Until You Examine the MONARCH! If you do not already know \ghy Malleable Iron— usad the Monarch way—is absolutely necessary to the long and satisfactory sew1ce you expect of a range, come in and let us explaln it to you. yourself the riveted joints—which are made per- manently tight by riveting the steel plates to a solid malleable iron base. Come In Today and See It! ompany C.W. VANDERSLIUS 0 See for $10bown Puts This NEW MONARCH '~ Malleable Range IN fower was necedgary m the tuniel in order to handle the heavy cables. So it was decided to lower one of the company’s cable-laying trucks down to the tunnel, through a work- ing shaft 100 feet deep. The truck was a five-ton machine and the shaft was impeded by pipes, stairways and timber trusses. The job was accom- plished, however, two hours after it was begun, the truck being lowered while suspended by its front axle from the end of a derrick boor. ADDITIONAL WANT ADS STRAYED—Two Holstem calves came to my place this morning. Owner may have same by identi- fying and paying for this ad. A. Yager, Bemidji. Phnne 8-F- 35 25 by New been accom- of the New FOR RENT—Modern furnished room at 520 Beltrami Ave. Phone:dflsb—éll. THE, PIONEER WANT ADS | ay cables at rge suburban ths for tele- RESULTS Monarch Ranges became greater, because those first Monarchs, sold years ago, were still giving the same satisfactory, economical service that they gave when new. Price has never been a factor when selling Monarch Ranges. Cheaper ranges of ordi- nary construction have always been offered for sale but They know that no range that is not built as the Monareh is built, can be expected to give the Mon- arch standard of service. See the Vitrifused Flues which protect a Monarch against the RUST DAMAGE that destroys unpro- tected steel ranges. ’ 'Seé the Duplex Draft—the Mirco Process Top— and all the other features that have gained the Mon- arch: its proud reputation as the best range ever built. YOUR HOME ardware W. Z. ROBINSON