Bemidji Daily Pioneer Newspaper, September 21, 1918, Page 4

TELLS OF WILD MOTOR RIDE OVER ~ ROAD SWEPT BY HUN ARTILLERY Writer Uses His Cap as a Shock Absorber for Knocking Knees— - Ditches Beoome Unbelievably Popular and a Six-Foot Man Is . Perfeotly Able to Conoeal Himself in a Six-inch Ditoh— ' _Makes Record Time Getting Into Trenches. A /By CLARENCE B. KOLLAND. * Paris—A man can be only so frightened. After that he dies sudden- 1y, or laughs, or both. Also, no mat- ter how scared you are, curlosity sur- vives. + If a shell is coming, you want to see it land. If it is going to swat you, you want to see how it goes about it. We_ were going back from the front ~—back, 'l‘ha battle was behind us. Prlvutely "each one of us didn’t care how much farther behind us it got. It could pick up its belongings and move away from us as fast as we were mov- ing away from it if it wanted. No- body would hear a protest from any of us, At a crossroads our meteoric prog- ress was halted by a young and severe goldler with M. P. on his sleeve. * “You can’t pass,” he sald; “they’re shelling the road ahead.” . He didn’t need to tell us. We knew it. As a matter of fact we could have told him things about that road being shelled that he would never know. A shell came screaming over our heads to “wham” down alongside the rond a hundred yards beyond. It wasn’t a big shell. In a calmer mo- ment, and at a greater distance, 1 might have admitted that it was a it~ tle shell, an insignificant shell, a neg- ligible three-inch shell. But when it went over my head I was willing to take oath that it was a 42 centimeter, When I was dug out of the ditch into which I had dived and the mud scraped out of my eyes I took a last look down the road. Cap as Shock Absorber. .- Something was paining me in the re- gion of the knees. Also there was a sound resembling that made by Broth- er Bones in the minstrel show. Minute examination = demonstrated that the pain was caused by the knees assault- fng each other venomously. I stuck my cap between them as a shock ab- gorber and looked again. It was a busy little road. It was not a popular road. Everybody on it had taken a dislike to'it and was moving away with enthusiasm. “In’ the dis- tance weére thréee German prisoners and one American private. The prl- vate was on & horse, It looked a very fast horse, but the Germans were hav- ing trouble with it. " It kept getting in their way. They stambléd over it. ¢ “Wham” came another shell. It's explosion was almost drowned out by the sounds of concussion at my slde. They were caused-by the beating to- gether of the knees of the driver of ‘the Y."M. C. A. car and by those ot a‘buck private. ' Their note was differ- ent,; and the meter dissimilar, but the air was much the same. I could not quite make out which accomplished the most knocks to-the minute, nor which was loudest. Several ration carts were approach- ing. Iy progress. Anybody who belleves a teani of mules is incapable of speed should have been there to see. The ra- tion carts were filled with hard tack. The hard tack was as scared as any- thing else, and was trying to keep up to the cart—but it was out of luck. It had no arms to hang on with. The alt was full of hard tack. It flowed out behind those ration carts like a ribbon. It was a snowstorm of hard tack, and nobody paused to ask where it fell. ff Ditches Are Popular, dvery ditch was unbelievably popu- lar, It didn't have to be a deep ditch nor a clean ditch, Any common or garden varlety of ditch would do. A six-foot man was perfectly able to con- ceal himself in a six-inch ditch, Heads would poke up, and another shell would land. Immediately it would be- come a scene of desolation, a lifeless waste. After awhile an alrplane went over- head to locate the battery that was causing all the:rumpus. Then the bat- _tery ;topped “Gp nhend,” sald the M. P, “They're thnm[zfi un\v*' He i¢'theé last M. P. I shall ever be- lieve. This is'positive, He meant well, and spoke the truth according to his lights, but his lights were dim. We started, and we continued. We con- tinued so rapldly that the scenery looked like a green fog, for Fritz was not through, ‘A shell landed alongside the road and a telephone wire dropped across our faces. If it had been a range of mountains it wouldn’t have stopped us. People who saw us pass will never know what we were. It will remain a mystery to them to their dying days. ‘We were a pale streak, a very pale streak. We were not traveling for plensuro, we were on business. Our immediate business was to go away from there, and our next immediate business was to fill the flivver with cigarettes and chocolate from the Y. M. C. A. ware- house and get it back to the boys hack there. It was several kilometers to the warehouse, but we did it in ten flat by the watch, arriving in a state of profound calm. We were not ruffled. Nobody would have known we were It was no slow, dignified, matron- excited except for 'a few minor mat- ters. Of course we ‘were knocking splinters off our teeth with the chat- tering we®felt it our duty to do; we were a trifle pale, say as pale as fresh snow. Aside from this with our hearts beating so they sounded like & dilapidated camion engine, with our | hair standing out like spines on an an- gry porcupine, our appearance and bearing were normal. “Going Back?” “Sure.” ‘With nonchalance we filled ofir ton- neau with supplies. “Going back?” somebody asked. The driver looked at me and I looked at the driver. “Back?” said he. “Oh, he means back,” I sald easily. “You understand back. That way.” “They’re shelling the road,” said the manager of the warehouse. “Indeed,” said I “Shelling? Why, we hadn't noticed it. Regular shells? We just come down the road. It was peaceful—peaceful as a--cow pas- ture.” “So you're going right back, en?” “Sure,” said the driver, standing with his legs far apart so his knees couldn’t hit. “Of course,” saild I, hanging onto the seams of my pants for the same reason. “Get In,” said he. I never saw a car so difficult ‘to mount, so high to climb, but I got there. The driver cranked it and we started away with gay, nonchalant waves of the hand. We had to climb a hill. "I suggested that maybe the engine needed a little tinkering before we tried it, but the driver thought not. I could have found troubles in that engine that would have held us there a week. But | we went on, All of a sudden the alr filled up with the holler of a shell. It busted vehe- mently, but I didn’t see it. I was where I couldn't see, with my head down among the control levers. A few pieces of roof and debris settled on my back, but I was not annoyed. The more that settled there the better I would be protected. “Shall we go on?” the driver asked. “I'm just a passenger,” said I with steady courage, “I can’t jump out while you are moving—at this rate, anyhow.” . Knew It Was a Roof. Another. shell landed, this time on the roof at our very elbow so to speak. 1 didn’t have time to Jjoin the levers again, so I saw it. It'landed on a roof, because I saw the roof just before it Innded. T will never sece that roof again, © Our acquaintance was brief. As 1 looked the. roof moved away from there hastily. It sought divers destinations, muny of which were in, at or avound us. Tiles and plaster and dust filled the air, “Mister,” said I, “step on her. She’s standing still.” g “We're doing sixty an hour if we're | doing an inch,” he sald. It Was not true. I can prove it. It took us 12 minutes, actual count, to pass a tree. Afterwards the driver told me it wasn't a tree, but a woods several kilometers long, but he was mistaken. I know a single tree when I see it, and I counted that tree again and again. “I hope,” I sald, “that the soldiers get this tobucco. I hope they get it soon. Let's see, they're in dugouts, aren't they? You don’t need to bother about taking it to them. I'll do that. I haven't chatted with these boys for quite a.while, and much as I dislike the closeness of a dugout I think I can sacrifice myself today and stay down with them a little while. By the way, it's a dugout with a thick roof, isn't 1t?” “Mister,” sald he gravely, “the man that gits into that dugout first is the fastest rupner In the A. B, F.-Y. M. C. A" Which was true.” I am the champion sprinter. NEAR BODY OF BROTHER WERE 7 DEAD HUNS New Brighton, Pa.—“Today we were up on the battlefield to bury our boys and we found Verner among the dead. Now, dad, do not worry too much. He died game. He still held his rifle in his hands and there were seven dead Huns in front of him.” This was in a letter received by John McKarland from his son, télling him of the death of another son on the Marne battlefield. ; R R AR N o Burn Lake to Get Body. ‘Warren, Pa—To find the body of Sibley Westcott, a bather, Sheridan’s pond, about twenty feet in diameter, was burned up. When divers failed to recover the body a barrél of gasoline was emptied on the surface of the wa- ter and et afire. In twoe hours the pond fell three feet and was shallow enough for the searching party to re- cover the body. 3 THE BEMIDJI WEEKLY PIONEER NEARLY TWO MILLION AMERICANS ‘OVER THERE (By United Press.) Washington, Sept. 21.—More than 1,750,000 have embarked for France, Chief of Staff March announced to- HOVE TOWN ML GO TO EXPERT FOR ADVICE Good Reasons Why Man Who Is Plap- ning to Build Home Should Get the Best Ideas. A In Farm and Fireside there igian article in which the author says: “You know, when you come right down 'to It, typhoid fever, dysentery and the like are common diseases among farmers. Why? Because we do not know enough about sanitation. Therefore when we bulld, why not g0 to a sanitation expert and minimize | the possibility of sickness? I am a fnrmer. not a plumber or a well dig- ger or a chemist, How §an I tell how far away from the'barn’ and outhouse F¥should put my weli in order to avoid all seepage danger? “What do I know about the proper wiring of my house in order to pre- vent fires? Would I ever have thought of putting the bathroom over the kitchen Instead of the living room or the dining room, so that, should a pipe burst and the ceiling be spotted or seriously injured, the damage would not show or be &o great? - My house cost me $8,000; the architect’s fees were $240. I ehall always believe u was meney well spent, “I went to the architect just as a sick man goes to the doctor; I knew I needed something, but I didn’t know what. I told him my conditions. There are two famous surgeons in the middle West who charge according to what thelr patients are worth—an operation costs a millionaire $1,000, a poor man $10. I frankly told the architect what I could afford and he went ahead and operated on my bank account accord- Ingly.” BUILT TO PROTECT FLOWERS Concrete Curb Prevents Inundltlm That Would Sweep Away the Blooms and Shrubbery. A curb to protect the flowers a shrubbery growing in a parkway be- fore a home from heavy rain torrents 1s shown in the accompanying photo: graph. ~The parkway is located on. side of a hill, Every rainfail ca a flood of water to run over the str curb on to the parkway, sweeping away or {nundating the growing things This Extra Curb Was Built to Protect Parkway Flowers From Inundations. in {ts path. This having occurred sev- eral times the owner of the property decided on the extra curb as a means of prevention. The curb is located at the upper end of the parkway, at an angle to the grade off the street, so that when the water rushes down the gutter and ‘washes over the street edging it strikes the extra guard and is driven back. The curb is about 9 feet in length, @ inches in thickness, and from 6 to 12 inches In height. It is made of con- crete with a smooth flnish to match the sldewalk. Since this extra curb was put In place the flowers have not suffered from rains.—Popular Science Monthly. Subscribe for The Pioneer THE MEN IN _ CLASS Al A sound, healthy man is never a back number, A man can be as vig- orous and able at seventy as at twen- ty. Condition, not years, puts you in the discard. A system weakened by overwork and careless living brings old age prematurely. The bodily functions aré impaired and unpleas- ant symptoms appear. The weak spot is generally the kidneys. Keep them clean and in proper working condi- tion and you will generally find your- self in Class Al. Take GOLD MEDAL Haarlem 0Qil Capsules periodically and your system will always be in working order. ' Your spirits will be enlivened, your muscles supple, your mind active, and your body capable of hard work. Don’t wait until you have been re- jected. Commence to be a first-class man now. Go to your druggist at once. Get a trial box of GOLD MED- AL Haarlem Oil Capsules. They are made of the pure, original, imported Haarlem Oil—the kind your great- grandfather used. Two capsules each day will keep you toned up and feel- ing fine. Money refunded if they do not help you. Remember to ask for the imported GOLD MEDAL brand. In three sizes, sealed packages. day. gle, Subscribers should report any poor carrier service to this office and steps will be taken at once to remedy the trouble. Catarrhal Deafness Cannot Be Gured by local applications, as they cannot reach i ESTRAY NOTICE. One gray mare, and one black colt have strayed to my farm. Chas Nan- the diseased portion of the ear. only one way to cure catarrho) deafness, and that is by a constitutional remedy. g‘nu‘;ml B-atnen‘ iy causcd b med condition o! tho mucous 1 the Eustachian Tube. i A ‘When this tube is — FOR SALE—Set of Stoddard's lec- tures in black leather binding, and one set of Everyman’s library in red leather binding and library of home economics. Well sell cheap, inquire 523 Minn. avenue. 3t921 street. Beltrami avenue. FOR RENT o FOR RENT—Two furnished FOR RENT—Four-room ‘house o1 Dewey. avenue. *A. Klein. ztsg, 2 FOR RENT—Six-room house 110 6th Inguire E. M..Hayner, 520 2t921 rooms, ' 3t924 1t921| O.:J. Laqua, 206 3rd street. TYPEWRITERS FOR RENT—Rem- run triumph seed potatoes. ingtons, Royzls, Underwoods, Smiths. ‘Your choice of 175 good machines, - Low rates. Little Falls business College. Tt921 FOR SALE—Three brand new show son, 1213 Lake Blvd. cases. Cheap. Address B, care Pio- . neer. 5t925 212 2t921 There is good farm for sale. price, full deseription. Minneapolis, Minn. FOR RENT-—House close in. y an_in- America avenue south. inflamed you have a rumbllnx sound or im~ perfect hearl closed, Deafn inflammation Geafness are caused faces. . Hall' 'ullr- free. and when it s the result. n be reduced and this tube Z restored to Its normai condition, hearing X % will be destroyed forever. (Many cases of by catarrh, ‘which is an inflamed coé-d::lw;l of the mucous sur- ‘atarrh Medicine acts thru tho blood on the mucous surfaces of the syst We will give One Hundred Dollars for lny cage of Catarrhal Deafness that cannot ired by Hall's Catarrh Medicine. All Druggists, 76c. F, J. CHENEY & CO., Toledo, O. is entirely Unless the Cirs . Bemidji Merchants™ - If you don’t get a letter about the next Liberty Loan, go to your polling place and cast your ballot for a Bond just the same. WANT AD DEPT. Advertisements this cost half cent a word per issue, when No ad will in /1 paid cash in advance. be run for less than 10c per issue. Ads charged on our books cost one cent a “word:per issue. for less than 25c. FOR SALE No ads run Buy goods from merchants you . know, not from traders you have never seen. After the Pilgrim Fathers landed, they didn’t send-to James I for dry goods. When the Israélites reached Canaan they didn’t write to Pharoah for canned pork and beans. This is no time to clutter up Uncle, Sam’s railroads with mail orders. Gwe him a free hand to feed the boys. in France. Do your bit ‘and buy of ,Bemidn Merchants. column If you have any old RUBBERS, part of the city and Nymore. 638-W. :hand or power. Peterson place. FOR SALE—Ten acres corn fodder cut and shocked, also feed chop- per good as new, capacity one and a half ton per hour, easily run by Matt Dugan, old : FOR SALE—Hand made stak: %‘va‘kon." - Will sell rlght. Koors Bros. Did You‘seefThat Window throw away your old articles. pound shipments or over to out of town shippers. ==l J:QLDBERG = Teleplione 638-’W 11921 810t 4 —of typewriter paper and carbon paper-in the Pioneer Stationery House? . The store formerly occupled by, the postoffice. i Small users of typewrlter paper can now, buy'it in tablet form. Instead of breaking boxes and keeping loose sheets laying around there is a big saving it waste. These tablets sell from 45 cents to 75 cents and contain 100 sheets. The boxes contain 500 sheets and the paper comes . in 83x11 size and 83x13 size. The range in price runs from $1.50 per box to $3.50. ; Multicopy Carbon Paper —did you ever see that advertlsed" " every magazine you pick up contains Multlcopy adver- ' Well, sir, nearly tising. When people are particular they always ask, when given other brands of carbon paper: “Is this Just as good as Multicopy?” Then, why not have Multi- Our stock of paperg igflarger than any in north ¢ central Minnesota. Your selection is made easily and we know you will be satisfied. Typewriter Ribbons 0ld Postoffice Store Our line comprises the well known WEBSTER STAR BRAND RIBBONS. There are none better made. If there was we would sell them. The price is $1.00. A coupon book, good for six ribbons, cost $5.00. Get them fresh as you need them. PIONEER STATIONERY HOUSE Bemidji, Minn. WANTED—To buy two cars of field Opsahl, Lavinia. - ‘Phone 18-F-14. » 10t927 WANTED—To hear from owner of State cagh D. F. Waste Not,Our Countr Needs it! OPPER, BRASS, IRON or RAGS—notify me and I will call for them inany ° Just telephone Goldbert, I also guarantee to pay thé mafket p’nce, so don’t They are worth money. ‘We buy HIDES and FURS and pay freight on all 100 Bem:d,n, Mlllll-.._ +| 1302 Bemidji avenue. Phone FOR RENT-—Nicely fyrnished.front 452-W. g 826t room, 215 Third street upstairs. |-~~~ oy 919te WANTED FOR RENT—Five-room cottage at|wANTED—Girl at St. Anthony’s 509 Minnesota avenue. Inquire of| = pogpital.’ 41921 3. J WANTED—Competent girl for gen- eral housework. ' Mrs. E. W. John- 2t921 Bush, 1t921 Defective