Bemidji Daily Pioneer Newspaper, May 4, 1912, Page 4

e e f % _é., THE BEMIDJI DAILY PIONEER Published every afternoon except Sun- @ay by the Bemidji Pioneer Publishing Company. @& E. CARSON. E. H. DENU. HAROLD J. DANE, Editor. In the City of Bemidji the papers are @elivered by carrier. Where the deliv- ery is irregular please make immediate eomplaint to this office. Telephone 31. Out of town subscribers will confer a favor if they will report when they do not get their papers promptly. Every subscriber to the Daily Pioneer will receive notice about ten days be- fore his time expires, giving him an opportunity to make an advance pay- ment before the paper is finally stopped Subscription Rates. One month, by carrier. One year, by carrier.... Three months, postage pa Six months, postage paid One year, postage paid... The Weekly Pioneer. KEight pages, containing a summary of the news of the week. Published every Thursday and sent postage paid to any address for $1.50 in advance. ENTERED AS SECOND CLASS MAT- TER AT THE POSTOFFICE AT BE- MIDJI, MINN.,, UNDER THE ACT OF MARCH 8, 1879. THIS DATE IN HISTORY. May 4. 1796—William H. Prescott, his- torian, born in Salem, Mass. Died in Boston, Jan. 28, 1839. 1798—Harper’s Ferry selected as | a site for a government arsenal and manufactory. 1812—The second Cansiian steam- boat, the “Swiftsure,” made her first passage from Montreal to Quebec. 1824—Gen. Rufus Putnam, soldier of the Revolution and founder of the first permanent settlement in Ohio, died in Marietta, 0. Born in Massa- chusetts, April 9, 1738. 1861—First gun cast for the Con- federate navy at the Phoenix iron works, near New Orleans. © 1862—General Magruder evacuat- ed Yorktown, Va. 1864—Beginning of Grant’s cam- paign in Virginia. THIS IS MY 40th BIRTHDAY. A. Mitchell Palmeer. A. Mitchell Palmer, representative in Congress of the Twenty-sixth Pennsylvania district aud who ex- pects to be elected Democratic na- tional committeeman for Pennsylva- nia when the convention meets in Harrisburg next week, was born in Moosehead, Pa., May 4, 1872. He graduated from Swarthmore college in 1891 and two years later began the practice of law, In his chosen profession Mr. Palmer proved emi- nently successful and within a few years became general counsel for a ““number:of railroads and iarge indus- trial corporations. He has been a member of congress sincs 1909, Congratulations to: Judge George Gray of the United States circuit court, seventy-two years old today. e Sir Louis H. Davies, judge of the Supreme Court of Canada, sixty-seven years old today. Charles S. Deneen, governor of Il- linois, forty-nine years oid today. Albert Anderson, editor of the Clearbrook Journal, is out with a strong boost for P. V. Cotiins for del- egate at large from Minnesota to the national Republican convsntion. Mr. Collins is a strong Roosevelt man. Big Prize for Wheat. Farmers of northern Minnesota who have been raising wheat in the past will have an opportunity this year of trying for a prize which has a market value of $5,000. The prize consists of a “Big 47 gas tractor and a“set of breaking plows, delivered free to the winner. To zet the prize, the farmer must have iiae best five bushels of wheat grown in the Am- erican northwest. Beltrami county has soil than which there is no better in the Unit- ed States. should be able to grow wheat of a }ligller grade than that of any other It is to be hoped that many of the farmers of this sec- tion of the state will try for this prize. Winning it would be the best possible ad for Beltrami county and would bring in many new settlers. If a section of our country which contains but 20 per cent of the area of the United States and but 6 per cent of its population, produces 35 per cent of the wheat; 38 per cent of the barley; 28 per cent of the wool and 92 per cent of the flaxseed each year, it ought to ve as good a section as there is in the world for a home. That is just what the American northwest has been doing each year and figures just compiled by the Northwest Development league show 1 that there are still 82,000,000 acres of free government land in the sec- tion while there are more than 73,- 000,000 acres of state' and privately owneduland in the seven states for As new as it is, this soil state in the league. sale at $20 per acre and under. Last year one of these states pro- duced the best bushel ot wheat in the world and attracted widespread at- tention; another gave the world the best twenty-five boxes of apples and still another grew the best bushel of potatoes. All these prizes coming in- to the American northwest are at- tracting the attention of human mil- lions. This year it has becn left for an organization of the seven northwest states to offer the world’s greatest prize for wheat—$5,000. ‘SUBSTIFUGE’ AT WORK MRS. ROSE LILLA BOUNCE ON TO THE JOB. Of Course She Had Her Own Ideas as to Washing Clothes, but They'd Come Out Whiter Than the “Driviin’ Snow.” “Mis Johnsing cayan’ come dis morn. in’” announced a big, strapping col ored woman, as Mrs. Younglove open- ed the front door of her apartment in | response to a long, steady peal of the | electric bell, “her baby might down sick an’ ghe got to stay home an’ min’ it, 80 she done sen’ me as a substifuge —reckon Ah cayn do yo' wash mos’ well as she cayn. ‘W’ot de matter wit de baby? Ah dunno ‘zackly, but it "pears to be on de verge ob de rackets, s0 de doctah say—anyway, w’otever ‘tis dat alls de chile, it mighty low. “No’m, Ah ain’ had no b’ekfus’. ‘“Two aigs an’ some sa’sage?” Yaas, I reck- on dat’ll do me—jes’ to keep me a-goin’ till ‘'you has de lunch ready. No, Ah nevah takes coffee. It don’ ’gree wit me an’ some folks say it turn de com- plex-'um dark. Oh, yaas, Ak cayn drink tea—or choclit ef yo’ has it. { Well, tea’ll do ef yo’ ain’ got no choclit. Ah ain’ so awful partic’lar. “Yo’ cert'ny i8 a m--g-hty good cook,” admitted the “substifuge,” as she rose from the kitchen table after a somewhat protracted consumption of the food provided by Mrs. Younglove. “Now, ’bout de clo’s? How yo’ wan’ ‘em washed? Eve’body has dére own way, an’ I laikes to obligate de folks I w'uks fo' by doin’ zackly de way dey’s decustom to have 'em done. Ah’s allus comadatin’. “Dis heyah yaller soap? Dat w'ot yo’ use? It don't wash de clo’s clean. Well, of co’se ef yo’ wan’ me to use it, an’ yo' ain’ got no oder, Ab'll do mal bes'—but it de wus kin’ fo’ de clo’s. “Yo’ wan's de clo’s biled! Does yo' bile you’ clo’s? No, m-a-’a-m, Ah nevah biled clo’s. Bilin’ jes’ discumalates de | dirt t'ro, de garminks, so yo’ cayn’ git | it out mo how. Some ladies dey don’ laike bilin’ fo’ not'in—dey say it make de ’partment smaill; but mebbe you’ { don’ min’ dat specialty now de weder is cool an’ de winders is close.” “Aain’ yo got no oder starch dan dis, honey? ’Tain’ de kin’ Ah luikes. Ah know it’s call de bes’, but Ah nevah use dat kin’ down Souf. O. yaas, Ah'll use it ef yo’ wan’s me to, but Ah won’ make no p’edilictions of how de clo’s gwine to look. Yaas, Ah seen de wringer ovah by de tubs, but Ah don’ nevah use none. Usin’ wringers is jes’ flyin’ in de face ob P’ovidence. ‘How does Ah wring de clo’s?” W'y, wif mah han’s of co’se. Dats de rail proper way. De Lo’d nevah mean’ dat wring- ers should be used, ’specially on dese heyah fine pieces. Ah knows a lady use to go out washin’, she mo’ kill herse’f usin’ a wringer. She dismo- ! cated de spine ob her back an’ it nevah got well no mo’, so one ob her shoul- ders is higher'n de other evah sence. So yo’ll jes’ have to ’s-c-u-s-e me, honey, ef Ah wrings wif mah two han’s. Say, honey, yo’ just leave dis heyah wash to me. Ah’'ll do de clo’s mah own way dis time. Dey’ll come { out w’iter’'n de drivlin’ snow, yo' sece ef dey don. “W’ot mah name? W’y mah name Mis Bounce—but yo' cayn call me Rose Lilla, dat mah fus’ name. ’Tain all de ladies T wuks fo’ dat I tells 'em mah fas’ name, but Ah laikes you, honey, ain’ Ah don’ wan’ no fomentali- ties 'bo* mah name.”—New York Press. Eloquence Not Always Persuasion. “Eloquence,” said Uncle Eben, “is llable to deceive de man dat has it. He ’casionally 'magines folks is agree- jo’ wif 'im when dey's only keepin’ guiet for fear of spoilin’ a purty talk.” First Coal OII Well. .Coal oil was first used as a linf «ment for medicinal purposes. Colonel Edwin L. Drake in 1869 drilled the first well for oil near Titusville, Pa. p was the beginning of the great American ofl industry. Limit of Badness. Fighting and struggling for your own hand is a bad game if played by men, but an abominable game if played by women.—Exchange, Apt Comparison. 8he—In a way, getting married is like using the telephone. He—How po? Bhe—One doesn’t always get the party one wants.—Boston Transcript. 2 Hard. .~ When you have nothing to say i is d. to keep people from consider~ it foolish if you say it. Consistent Enough. “But,” protested the stage mana- ger, “don't you think it looks odd lor you to wear your diamonds in the sharacter of the deserted wife?” “Oh, no,” replied the actress, “you must have observed that I had select- ed for that purpose the very smallest and plainest diamonds I own.”—Cath- olic Standard and Times. Where the Power Lies. “My dear, sir,” said the visiting Englishman, “you people in this coun- try don’t know what a real republic is, Your president has vastly more pow- er than we permit our king to exer- cise.” “Oh, we all realize that, but you seem to forget the power your queen Is permitted to exercise.” He Knew Him When. “Why do you hate him s0? Has he ever done anything or said anything to injure you?” “No, but, confound him, I can re- member when he had nowhere near Bs: much as I had—when, as a matter of fact, I didn’t always care to recog- nize him.” Misunderstanding. She—Sir, I wish to propose— He—I am sorry, my dear young lady, but I can only be a brother to you. She—I was going to propose, sir, that if you engage me as a stenograph- er I want only to be assister to you. Speaking of Dieting. “Yes, I lived on water for three years.” “Goodness! Didn’t you get awfully run down?” “No, but we had a narrow escape once in the harbor of Marseilles.” WISE KID. School Teacher—Bring plece of chewing gum you have in your hand. Pupil—You won't like it; it ain’t the flavor you chew. me tha A Fine Day. Bo fair 1s all the world without So brightly shines the sun, '"Twould seem all cares are put to rout And Trouble’s on the run. The Hardest Part. “He has managed to convince him- self that his poor children need a new mother.” “Got her picked out, too, I s’pose?” “Yes; all that remains now is teo convince the children.” An Open Question, “Do you take this woman for better or for worse?” asked the preacher. “That will depend on whether her father is going to loosen up or not” replied the absent-minded bridegroom. The Trouble. “What’s the matter with your tele phone service?” “It’s entirely too cautious.” “Toe cautious?” “Yes; it refuses to answer.” Real Comfort. Patlence—I suppose your fathet takes much pleasure in his library? Patrice—Oh, yes; it’s the only place where he is allowed to sit with his feet higher than his head. Reform Needed. Benham—We need a reform In our banking system. Mrs. Benham—Yes; it's a shame that a wife can’t overdraw her hus- band’s account.—Judge, Appropriate Transaction. \ “Pop, will you tell me one thing?* “What is it, son?” “Are they going to try the bath tub | lrust because it made wash sales?” ., The Look of It. “DIid you see where a six-mile rall- {ond in Loulsiana is to be operated )y in sane patients?” . “What a crazy ideal® OUR TRIPP!NG FRIENDS. Sign in bskery window: made pize.” Card in restaurant: “Small steak, 20 cents. Extra small steak, 25 cents.” Advertisement in poultry journal: “Home- “Plymouth Rock hens ready to lay $1.25 each.” From a prepared roofing ad.: “Its bright color is permanent and will re- main permanent.” . . In report of a wedding: “The cere- mony was performed by two Jewish rabbits.” \ A Milwaukee paper informs us that “John Huckbody of Silver City lost 30 chickens by freezing to death.” On a coupon: “The holder of this coupon when properly punched is en- titled to one of our beautiful photo- graphs.” b An English report on education says: “The female teachers were in- structed in plain cooking; they had, in fact, to go through the process of cooking themselves in turn.” The Prune Club. “Well, I've got one for you this morning,” said the thin boarder, com- ing to the breakfast table. “When are some men like Swiss cheese?” “When they are smooth?” suggest- ed the blond typewriter. “Not right this tme, girlie.” “Perhaps it is when they appear to be holey?” suggested a Y. M. C. A, boy at the foot of the table. “Well, you nearly struck it said the thin boarder. *“When you can seq through ’em.” POINT OVERLOOKED. Daughter—No use talking, father; 1 ghall marry whom I please. Father—Yes; but most men are hard to please. A Mean Trick. There was a man In our town And he was wondrous wise. He gave each tramp that came aroun® One of his wifey’s ples. A Corrected. Uncle Ezra—My brother John, you know, was a brave fighter in the war, He died with his boots on. Uncle Eben (interrupting)—Ezry, Ezry, you're wrong ez usual, by heck! Them was my boots he died in.—Puck. Very Natural. “Talk about your realism, this play looks very natural to me.” “Asto how?” “Six months have elapsed since the play started, and the housemaid hasn't done any housework yet.” Knew an’ Easier Way. Mrs. Crawford—Why don’t you try the new paper-bag cooking? Mrs. Crabshaw—I would, dear, if 1 thought it was as easy as getting the meals in a paper bag at the delicates-- sen store.—Judge. Obliging. “I think,” said Mrs. Crumrox, who was arranging a musical program, “thiat we will have a mezzo-soprano.” “All right,” replied her husband. “Don’t bother me about it. Go ahead and see an architect.” Unfinished Wisdom Demanded. “A man should attend strictly to his own business.” “Maybe so. But that policy would never enable him to cut much of a figure in the state legislature.” SOMETHING LACKING. The Manager—The only objection I bave to this production is that the waits are so long. Leading ‘Man—Y#h; especially 'fos It Does. It takes a guy ‘Whose purse is fat To occupy A city flat. 5 A’ Regular Solomon. 0ld Gertleman—Which one of my daughters do you wish to marry? Young Man—Oh, just let them fight Jt out among themselves, sir, and Il take the one that puts up the sznr-t ¥ “ \ S s R O tion. 1 epar Advertisements ! Many who have been seeking for work have found it through our Classified ads. They cost one-half cent a word per inser- Phone 31. tment The Pioneer Want Ads I CASH WITH GOPY A cent per word per lssue 15 cents. 80 your want ad gets to them all. CLASSIFIED CHICKEN AND EGG DEPARTMENT. . FOR SALE—Breeding stock and eggs for hatching from the best flock of full blood Barred Plymouth Rocks to be had, come and see them at 706 14th. O. C. Simonson. HELP WANTED MEN—If you want work, sell guar- anteed hosiery to wearers; big commission; make $10 daily; ex- perience unnecessary. Address In- ternational Mills, 3038 Chestnut, Phila. ‘WANTED—Dining room girl at once. Palace flotel, Blackduck. I FOR SALE A A AP RS FOR SALE—Typewriter ribbons for every make of typewriter on the market at 50 cents and 75 cents each. Every ribbon sold for 75 cents guaranteed. Phone orders promptly filled. Mail orders given the same careful attention as when you appear in person. Phone 31. The Bemidji Pioneer Office Supply Store. FOR SALE—The Bemidji lead pen- pencil (the best nickle pencil 1n the world) at Netzer’s, Barker’s, 0. C. Rood’s, McCuaig’s, Omich’s, Roe and Markusen’s and the Pfo- neer Office Supply Store at 5 cents. each and 50 cents & dozen. FOR SALE—Small fonts of type, several different points and in Regular charge rate 1 cent per word per mnsertion. No ad taken for less than HOW THOSE WANT ADS DO THE BUSINESS The Ploneer goes everywhere so that everyone has takes it and people who do not take the paper generally read their neighbor's 14 Cent a Word Is All It Costs Phone 31 a neighbor who first class condition. Call or write this office for proofs. Address Be- midji Pioneer, Bemidji, Minn. FOR SALE—Large size 18-inch five pot Royal Acorn base burner. Good as new, $20 takes it. Can be seen at 1212 Minnesota Ave. 7OR SALE—Rubber stamps. The Ploneer will procure any kind of « rubber stamp for vou om short wotice. . —_— FOR RENT ————— e~ FOR RENT—Three room house. In- quire Falls and Cameron. \ LOST AND FOUND LOST—Auto lamp; finder please Te- turn to garage for reward. MISCELLANEOUS ADVERTISERS—The great state of North Dakota offers unlimited op- portunities for business to classi- fied advertisers. The recognized advertising medium. is the Fargo Daily: and Sunday Courier-News, the only seven day paper in the state and the paper which carries the largest amount of classified advertising. The Courier-News covers North Dakota like a blank- et; reaching all parts of the state the day of publication; it is the paper to use in order to get re- sults; rates one cent per word first insertion, one-half cent per word succeeding insertion; fifty cents per line per month. Address the Courier-News, Fargo, N. D. WANTED—100 merchants in North- ern Minnesota to sell “The Bemid- 31”” lead pencil. Will carry name of every merchant in advertising columns of Pioneer in order that all receive advantage of advertis- ing. For wholesale prices write or phone the Bemidji Ploneer Of- fice Supply Co. Phone 81. Be- midji, Minn. BOUGHT: AND SOLD—Second hand ‘across from postoffice, phone 129. 3 @ ot