Bemidji Daily Pioneer Newspaper, April 15, 1912, Page 4

t- . | e e g" PV THE BANNER ATTRACTION The American Laugh Brokers and a Bevy of Pretty Girls Presenting a Repertoire of Original Musical Comedies. HERE AT THE BRINKMAN Manager Brinkman of the Brink- man theater, curing a high priced show for Mon- day, Tuesday and Wednesday of this week. The special feature is a min- iature musical comedy composed of four girls and two men, who present a new laughable version of a country school act, entitled “Phun In a Country School.” This is théir first trip west and everywhere they have been grected with hilarious laugh- ter and thunderous applause. In ad- dition to the musical comedy Jacobs and Bertrand, the American Laugh Brokers, will hold the stage for a good part of the evening, introducing the funniest act in vaudeville, both being clever Hebrew and German comedians, Picture Program. 3,000 feet of Brinkmanscope; all new daylight pictures. Brinkman’s orchestra, musical program. Admission 10c¢ and 25c. Show starts sharp 7:10; show 9 o’clock. popular second THACKERAY AS A REPORTER Future Great Novelist Just the Man to Enjoy Such Spicy Repartee as the Following. Thackeray once acted as police re- porter for the London Diogenes, and performed his work in no perfunctory way. How the future novelist must have enjoyed observing and recording this bit of courtroom humor: ! Pat Fogarty went oll the way from Manchester to London in order to thrash Mick Fitzpatrick, which he did, winding up the performance with the assistance of an “awful horseshoe.” He was detected and brought before Mr. Justice Simpleman. “Well, sir,” began the court, “you came here from Manchester, did you?” “Your honor has answered correct.” “You see the complainant’s head; it ‘was cut by a sharp instrument. Do you know what cut it?” “Aln’t your honor after sayin’ that a sharp insthrumint aid?” “I see you mean to equivocate,” said the court, becoming restive. “Now, sir, you cut that head; you came here to cut it, did you not? Now, sir, what motive brought you to London?” “The locomotive, per honor.” quivocating again, you scoun- drel!” said the court, waxing warm. Ralsing up the horseshoe, and holding 1t before Pat, he said, “Do you see thia ‘horgeshoe, sir?” “Is it a horseshoe, yer honor?” “Don’t you see it is, sir? Are you blind? Can you not tell at once that it 1s a horseshoe?” “Bedad, no, yer honor.” “No?” angrily. “No, yer honor; tell?” “Of course I cam, you stupld Irish- man.” “Oh, glory be to goodness; see what education 1s!” soliloquized Pat, aloud. “Sure, yer honor, a poor, ignorant creature llke mesilf wouldn’t know a horse’s shoe from a mare’s.”—Youth’s Companion. but can yersilf LIKE THE WAIL OF BANSHEE Mournful Cry of the Screech-Owl Heard In Youth, Plainly Recalled In After Years. From the orchard, too, on an autumn midnight, comes the mournful whistle of a screech-owl. Most of us who have heard the screech-owl at all have heard its call drifting down from an ©0ld orchard on a frosty October night. The chill of coming winter, the cattle stamping in dark stables, a dim and ghostly world stretching over garnered flelds to the mystery of the woods, and 2 gnarled, anclent orchard up the glope seem phantomlike under a wan- ing moon—these are the setting for the screech-owl’s mournful whistle. I can at this moment shut my eyes, re- produce that whistle in my throat, and bring back to memory as if it were Yesterday, the scene as my boyhood eyss saw it from my chamber win. dow; whence I peeped with frosted breath before diving into bed, and 1 can actually smell (for all the tobacco smoke in my present study) the pe- cullar odor of the cold October night air, and feel again a vague, almost terrifylng melancholy chill in my heart as, In the darkriss, I heard from the orchard that reiterated whoo-0oo- ©0-00. Like the whip-poor-will on the pasture rail on a hot evening of July, this other night-singer of New Eng- 1and seems to-dwell just on the skirts of human h#bitations and to keep our souls reminded of the sadness of the world—Walter Prichard Eaton, in Harper's Bazar. Soap Bubbles. The anclent Britons invented sogp. ‘The Romans, two thousand Yyears ago, carried the invention back to Italy. ‘They manufactured soap in Savona, Whence the French word for it—sa- yon. - There are natural soaps—the soap- root of Spain, the soapberry of Chili end the bark of the Peruvian soap At Quartetaro, in Mexico, soap takes the place of copper coinage. The Tierra del Fuegans eat soap, fAnding the fat therein really nourish- Ing. They say they like the taste, too. S.oay is made from garbage in the newest incinerating plants. - - has succeeded in se-|' | ed on half the fingers of one hand. FROLIG OF "BABIES' New Congressmen Poke Fun' at Their Older Colleagues. IMPOSE HIGH DUTY ON CATS Theodore Roosevelt's to Mention of Name Causes Senate Galleri Violate the Strict Rule Against Applause. By GEORGE CLINTON. Washington.—At one of the Wasb- ington restaurants the other night there was a frolic of the “bables” of the house of representatives. Men to the number of one hundred serving their first terms In congress gathered for a dinner at the restaurant. They formed a house of representatives of their own and passed the time mak- Ing fun of the methods of thelr older colleagues and the personalities of some of their own number. In the main, however, they “pointed with pride” to themselves as the real statesmen and referred to members of longer service as being entirely out of date and belonging In the pigeon- holes with the archives rather than on the floor of the house with the “live ones.” No party lines were drawn at this gathering. Republican and Democrat- ic babies had fun together. The tar- Iff came in for & bit of by-play. Protective Duty on Cats. A high protective duty was put on cats in order to protect the home industry. Every feline, whether a wild-cat a polecat or a domestic cat imported into the United States or its island possessions, it was decid- ed, must hereafter pay $1 a head In order to be admitted to full American cetizenship. As a rider to this bill catnip was placed on the free list. A prize was offered to the member who could make the most stirring ora- tion on the American flag. Repre- sentatlve Littleton was chosen- as Judge, but the oratorical flights of Representative Connell of New York and Witherspoon of Mississippi were 80 nearly equal in grace and distance that the judge gave each the first prize. The senate galleries broke out into applause the other day when the name of Theodore Roosevelt was mentioned. The senate gallery has applauded at times the names of Wil- lam Jennings Bryan and of many other well-known Americans without regard to political party, but it must be understood that it fs against the rules of the senate to allow applause in the gallery. Mustn’t Applaud in Senate. It makes no difference who it 1s that is receiving the applause, the vice-president must bring down his gavel while the noise Is continuing and say with all due solemity and severity that all demonstrations ot ap- proval are not allowed and that if they do not cease “the gallerles will be cleared.” This word .from the vice-president has been said thousands of times in the senate and its effect has never been visible for more than an hour at a time. It is only rarely that the senators themselves laugh and it 1s only once in a lifetime that they ap- plaud. The cases where senators have broken the applause rule can be count- The senate, however, has its jokes frequently and while laughter is sub- dued, broad smiles are always in evi- dence, When Senator Jonathan P. Dolliver, now dead, referred to Senator Fran- cis E. Warren of Wyoming as “the greatest shepherd since Abraham,” the broadest of broad smiles was vist- ble on the face of every senator. The wool bill was under discussion and Mr. Warren is sald to be the proprie tor of a considerable fold. Good Joke Wasted. There {8 such a thing as being too clever. Lawyer Towns, whose long famous foremsic effort was flour- ished In the interest of Valet Brandt, knows it from experience. Like this: In the course of a court address the other day his tongue slipped and he named Counselor Gans as having been in prison when he meant to say Brandt. Gans jumped to his feet in horror and rebuked his opponent. A sinis- ter smile played about Towns’ mouth as he replied: “Ah, yes, that was a mistake. My client is certainly an entirely differ- ent breed of goose.” ? Nobody laughed. Lawyer Towns was surprised. He supposed every one knew that a “brant” is a wild goose and also that “gans” is the German for goose. Next time he will explain first and spring his joke later. As a matter of fact, it 1s very disconcerting to have a perfectly good joke like that go to waste. Diverted Attention. “Why do you encourage your boy to take 50 much interest in his studies?" “Well,” replied Mr. Bliggins, “I sus- pect I have unconsciously been selfish in the matter. It keeps him from com- ing home and showing off how much more he knows about philosophy and the higher mathematics than I do.” Help to the Reader. 2 “It 'ud be a shame to leave the word ‘applause’ out o' the speeches they print,” said Farmer Corntossel. “You think it useful, then?” “Yes. It's a kind of & guide. It shows you what part of the speech the author thought' was most inter .estin’ and lets you skip the rest.” Ants Eat Through Lead Cables. ‘White ants are causing much trou: ble in South Australia in telepho: cables and also in the underground electric’ light lines. On the: lead sheathed telephone cables crosses’ be- tween the circuits began to occur. Upon withdrawing some of this cable from the ducts it was found that the many places. On the Sldney system of electric~ lighting the ants ate! then m_ggg‘um:m. ‘ural resqurces, and if settled as thick- ents had eaten through the lead lnl £ 1 ix through the bitumen compound and wfll“t.hhr clo“‘);' house {8 stamped sfon insulation next to;the wire. To stop the ravages which' will fncur an enormous expense if not checked, argenious oxide mixed with bitumen, & sort of pitch, is being applied to the cables, Carbon bisulphide is also be ing tried with the idea that the odor will drive the ants away, NOT HER' FIRST APPEARANCE Well Meaning Church Woman Unfor tunate In Extending Welcome, as Pastor Had Counseled. It is embarrassing sometimes, this thing of sudden religious zeal; that is, it you haven’t made it a regular busl, ness. Witness the mistake made some time ago by a good woman who was a regular attendant at a church down on Chestnut street, says the Loulsville Times. | One Sunday morning ‘her pastor preached an inspiring sermon on the subject of welcoming the “Stranger Within Thy Gates.” - He urged upon his membership the duty of giving a cordial greeting to strangers who hap: pened in at that charch, This 'good woman was much im. pressed with his remarks. As she turned around to leave the church, she discovered an unfamiliar face in the vew immediately behind her.- With a radiant smile she extended her hand. “I'm-glad to see you out this morn. ing,” she sald. * “Thank- you,” replied the stranger with a merry twinkle in her eyes. “Do you come often?” sweetly asked the good woman. The stranger smiled. “I have been occupying this pew for the past seven years,” she sald. There was an embarrassed silence, and then the good woman turned and started out. It was noticeable that she made no further attempt to greet any stranger that morning. WORLD’S MOST NOTED ECHOES 8ome Reproduce Sound In Melodlous Manner, Others With an Effect That Is Terrifying. Probably the finest echo which the world knows is in the cathedral at Pisa, where theé Leaning Tower is. Sing two notes and there is no re- verberation; sing three and they are at once taken up by the walls of the edifice, swelled, prolonged and varied, till they seem as a divine harmony from some majestic organ. There is a cavern in Finland in which, if you test your lungs to the top of their capacity, there will an- swer you such horrible - roarings, moanings and” mutterings that you will be glad to rush out in absolute terror. The cutting down of trees in a cer- tain locality on the Hudson river spoilt a splendid echo. A word shout- ed there was repeated 42 times. Undoubtedly the most extraordinary natural echo in the world is fo be heard by the slde of a small lake in Bavaria. On one hand rises a perpen- dicular cliff several thousand feet high, while on the other side is a dense forest. If a pistol is fired on the laké the woods send back a faint echo that gradually dies away, but presently it is heard from the cliff, continually increasing in power, till it bursts over one’s head like a deafen- ing peal of thunder. “Papa” and “Mamma.” The use of “papa” in this country il lustrates the flow and ebb of fashion In words,” as In costumes, pretty clearly. B All authorities agree that “papa” and “mamma” arrived here from France in the seventh century, says the London Chronicle. At first they were courts Iy expressions, and were used by “per- sons of fashion,” adults as well as children, in the eighteenth century. But with the nineteenth the middle classes took them up, originally re- garding them as genteel; in our own time one of the faults of the hero of “E dunno w’'ere e’ are,” after coming into “a little bit o’ splosh,” was that he “’ad the cheek and impidence to call ’{s mother ’{s ma.” The usual re. sult followed. Everybody’s words pdopted as genteel became vulgar, and now “papa” and “mamma” -are dying out, even among children, Drew the Crowd. It was the ambition of the proprietor of the moving picture show to get & record house that week. The first two nights he falled to get it. On.the third night his unparalleled attrac- tions were advertised thus through & megaphone at the hall door: “Ladles and gentlemen: Every pio- ture I shall show you tonight has cost the life of a film actor. In the bridge wrecking scene two men were drowned, in the railroad collision one man was crushed to death, and the Jjungle scene three men were fearfully mangled by wild beasts. “Reprehensible ' tactics to mention those harrowing details,” said the pro- |; prietors of other shows; nevertheless they achieved the manager’s purpose, for the next day the house was pack- »d at every performance. Texas. The area of Europe is about '3,700,- 000 square miles, while that of Texa I8 265,000 square miles. But the Lone Btar State is not to be “sneezed” at a8 apn empire. It is bigger than France, bigger than the whole Ger- man Empire, bigger than Austro-Hun- pary, .bigger twice over than the United Kingdom. It is rich in nat- Iy as lttle Belgium it would haye & population of 265,000,000, or mnearly three times the present population of the entire United States. Vallant Soldler. gt Penam—Col. Bloodyman’s 'old war traits still cling to him, B . Nicks—How go? i N Penam—TI dined with him last night snd he gave the waiter no quarter Individuality - Wil -Out. P It you build twelve housgs exactly. alike and put families into them, Depar nngnt The Pioneer Want Ads OASH WITH O00PY % oent per word por issue 15 cents. 80 your want ad gets to them all. . L DEPARTMENT. FOR SALE—Rhode Island Reds. First prize winners at county fair. Mated with stock from first prize stock at three large poultry ex- hibits. I can spare a few more settings. Will book others ahead. $1 for 13 eggs; $6 ‘per hundred. Geo. T. Baker, 907 Minnesota Ave-| FOR SALE — Thoroughbred Ply- mouth Rock, Rhode Island Red and " Buff Leghorn eggs. Telephone 686-2, J. H. French. Wyandotte eggs for breeding. E. S. Woodward, 507 Irvine Ave. FOR SALE—Breeding stock and eggs for hatching from the best flock of full blood Barred Plymouth Rocks to be had, come and see them at 706 14th. O. C. Simonson. WANTED—Good girl for housework.. Good wages. general Phone © or write. Mrs. G. H. Nelson, Walker, Minn. 5 'FOR SALE e o s SuT s SN SRS FOR SALE—Typewriter ribbons for every make of typewriter on the Regular charge rate 1 cent per word per wnsertion. No ad taken for less than HOW THOSE WANT ADS DO THE BUSINESS The ;Ploneer goes everywhere so that everyone has a mneighbor who takes it and people who'do not take the paper generally read their neighbor’s 14 Cent a Word Is All It Costs CLASSIFIED. CHICKEN AND EGG| Phone 31 market at 50 cents and 75 cents each. Every ribbon sold for 75 cents guaranteed. Phone orders| promptly filled. Mail orders given the same careful attention as when you appear in person. Phone 31. The Bemidji Pioneer Office Supply Store, FOR SALE—The Bemidji lead pen- péncil (the best nickle pencil 1n the world) at Netzer's, Barker's, 0. C. Rood’s, McCuaig’s, Omich’s, Roe and Markusen’s and the Pio- ueer Office Supply Store at 5 cents each and 50 cents a dozen. For the benefit of the rehders of the Ploneer this notice will appear in both the Daily and ‘Weekly_ Pioneer for the next six month. - On leaving the urion depot turn to the left and continue up Nicollet to Third street, cross- ing that thoroughfare, turn to the left and proceed half a block, toward the postoffice. From the Milwaukee depot, turn to the left on Washington avenue and continue to First avenue, turn to the left and go one block to Third street and then one half block to the right. Daily Pioneer will be found on file here. t Fellows hall, 103 Baltiam Ave. B P 0 B Bemidji Lodge No. 1052. first and third Thursdays, 8 o'clock—at Masonic hall, Beltrami Ave, and Fifth -G 0. . every second and fourth Sunday evening, at 8 o'clock in basement of Catholic church. - Meeting nights every second and fourth Monday evenings, at Odd Fellows Hall. Fh kb kbbb bbb bbbk r 2.0 2 Regular meeting nights every 1st and 2nd Wednes- day evening at 8 o'clock. Eagles hall. , AARXRXAAAANAARAAARAAR R AR AN Rk * * * * * * * * * * - * * w Courier-News, Fargo, N. D. WANTED—100 merchants in North- ern Minnesota to sell “The Bemid- 31" lead pencil. Will carry name of every merchant in advertising columns of Pioneer in order that all receive advantage of advertis- ing. For wholesale prices write or phone the Bemidji Pioneer Of- fice Supply Co. Pgone 31. Be- midji, Minn. WANTED—Work cleaning up yards or anything you have to do by young man. Address B. B., care Pioneer. BOUGHT AND SOLD—Second hand furniture. 0dd Fellows building, across from postoffice, phone 129. C. 6. JOHNSON Lands Loans Stocks Office—214 Beltrami Ave. G AR Regular meetings—First and third Saturday after- §( noons, at 2:30—at 0Oad Fel- J)\ 1ows Halls, 402 Beltrami = Ave. L O.0.F . Bemidji Lodge No. 110 Regular meeting nights —every Friday, 8 o'clock at Odd Fellows Hall, 402 Beltrami. L 0. 0. F. Camp No. 34 Regular meeting every second and fourth Wednesdays at 8 o'clock at Odd Fellows Hall Rebecca Lodge. Regular meeung nights — first nd third Wednesday at $o'clock. —L 0. 0. F. Hall. FOR SALE—Small fonts of type, several different points and fn first class condition. Call or write this office for proofs. Address Be- midji Pioneer, Bemidji, Minn. “OR SALE—Rubber stamps.” The Ploneer will procure any kind ot < rubber stamp for ~ou on short «otice. FI'R SALE—House at 916 Minneso- tn Ave. Terms to suit purchaser. Enquire of C. W. Vandersluis. FOR SALE—One incubator brooder; can be seen at Bros. Hardware Store. and Given “FOR RENT e FOR RENT—Furnished rooms, good view and all .conveniences. Call at 523 Minnesta Ave., over Twin Port Meat Market. FOR RENT—Six rent. A. Klein, FOR RENT—6-room house. A. Kline., room house - for MISCELLANEOUS oS e e e, ADVERTISERS—The great state of North Dakota offers unlimited op- portunities for buslness to classi- fied advertisers. The recognized advertising medium is the Fargo Daily and Sunday Courier-News, the only seven day . paper in the state and the paper which carries the largest amount of classified advertising. The Courier-News covers North Dakota like a blank- et; reaching all parts of the state the day of publication; it is the paper to use in order to get re- sults; rates one cent per word first insertion, one-half cent per word XNIGHTS OF PYTHIAS Bemidjl Lodge No. 168. Regular meeting nights—ex- ery Tuesday evening at 8 o'clock—at the Eagles' Hall, T. BEAUDETTE Merchant Tailor Ladies' and Gents' Suite te Order. Ory Cleaning Pressing and Repuring » Specialty. 315 Belt.ami Aveane LADIES OF THE MAC- CABEES. Regular meeting night last Wednesday evening in each month. MASONIC. A. F. & A. M, Bemidji, 233. Regular meeting nights — first and ‘third Wednesdays, & o'clock—at Masonic 'Hall, Beltrami Ave, and Fifth St. Bemidjl Chapter No. 70, R. A. M. Stated convocations : —,cx:rs; and third Mondays, 8 oclock p. m.—at Masonic —Hall Zeltrami Ave., and Fifth street. Elkanah Commandery No. 30 K. T. Stated conclave—second and fourth Fridays, 8 o'clock P. m.—at Masonic Temple, Bel- trami Ave, aud Fifth St. O. E. S. Chapter No. 171, Regular meeting nights— first and third Fridays, 8 o'clock — at Masonic Hall, Beltraml Ave, and Fitth Pionser Want Ads 1-2 Gent a Word Bring Results _ Ask the Man Who Has Tried Them M 3B A Roosevelt, No. 1523. Regular meeting nights Thursday evenings at 8 MW A Bemidji Camp' No. 5012. Regular meeting nights — first and third Tuesdays at 8 o'clock at 0dd Fellows Hall, 402 Beltrami Ave. MODERN SAMARITANS. Regular meeting nights on the first and third Thursdays in the I O. O. F. Hall at 8 p. m. SONS OF HERMAN. succeeding insertion; fifty cents per line per month. Address the Meetings held third Sunday afternoon of each THE CROOKSTON LUMBER CO, WHOLESALE LUMBER: LATH AND BUILDING MATERIAL Wholesalers of INKS ; PENS . PENCILS Wholesalers of TABLETS SCHOOL SUPPLIES STATIONERY Bemidji - Pionesr Pub, Go, Bemid}l, Minn. Manufacturers of Bemidji Manufacturers, NORTHERN GROCERY COMPANY WHOLESALE GROCERS C. E. BATTLES Light and Heavy Hardware * Engine and Mill Supplies Smithing.Coal Mail Orders Solicited The Given Hardyyare‘ Co. Wfiolgnié and Ret_illy " Hardware 'Whnlesaler_s and Jobbers The Following Firms Are Thoroughly Rellable and Orders Sent to Them Will Be Promptly Filled at Lowsst Prices month at * Troppman's Hall. FEOMANS. Meetings the first Friday evening of. the month at the home of Mrs. H. F. Schmidf, 306 JThird street. Snbscrib§ tof The . Pioneer The Model Manufacturing Co. Incorporated $2§,000. Wholesate BREAD, CANDIES IGE GREAM Office and Works 315 Minnesota Ave. Bem:a i. Minn, WE ARE JOBBERS OoF PIN TICKETS ; AND ° GUMMED LABELS No need to send outside of Bemidji for them Phone 125 THE Pioneer Supply Store * Can Save you Money Bemidji Pioneer Pub. Co. GEO. T. BAKER & CO. Manufacturing Jewelers _ and Jobbers Regular meeting nights— , o'clock” in Odd oo Fellows _