Bemidji Daily Pioneer Newspaper, March 14, 1912, Page 7

r ""tess, whose cheeks l | i THUB.SDAY MARCH 14 1912, THEN ASKED HIM HIS NI—\MEl New Boarder Tclls Table Neighbor His | Infallible Method in Handling Landladies. The new boarder dropped in at din- ner time and sat next to the only other man at the table. The new boarder thought it was up to him to be affable and friendly. “I suppose you've boarded here for some time?” he asked the solitary in. dtvidual. “Yes, quite awhile.” “How is it, any good?”’ “I find it pretty fair; I've no com- plaint to make.” | “Landlady treat you decent?” “Well, perhaps I ought to—" “Never mind, never mind.” said the new boarder. “I'm on. Did you ever try chucking her under the chin. That’s always the way to get on with these boarding-house landladies. I can always get 'em on my side. Treat; these old dames nicely and I'll bet you can live in the house & month and never be asked for a dollar. Watch me hand her the ‘con’ when she comes . I'll bet that this time tomorrow she’ll be handling me the best in the shop. Poor old girl! She looks as i she'd had her troubles. Probably married to some measly runt who mever did a day’s work in his life. She earns the coln and he spends it. Watch me give her the real sympa- thy. Say, my name’s Smith. Let’s seo, I didn’t hear yours?” “No—I didn’t mention my name—it doesn’t matter—much—I'm merely the | landlady’s husband.” HAD NO TIME FOR SLUMMING | After Answering Impertinent and Eu-I percilious Questions Hostess > Hands London Lady a Jolt. The Rev. Sylvester Horne, the noted lberal clergyman and member of par- Hament of London, was talking at a dnner about charity. “The trouble with most charity,” he said, “Is that it is administered in a grudging, condescending spirit. Char- fty, to have any effect, must be ad- ministered in a spirit of absolute sym- pathy—a spirit, I may also say, of ab | solute humility, ‘To uplift, get under- | neath,’ as the philosophic Ade well sald. “There was once a London lady, the wife of a millionaire promoter, who decided, being rather bored, to go in for charity. So she rang for her elec- tric brougham and glided in a luxur- lous silence down to the New Cut. “The lady selected the very worst house in the New Cut, and she paid a call of about half an hour on the poor, tired, underfed woman who lived there. The questions she asked this woman were supercilious and imperti- ment. The lady had a very good time. “But when she came to go, her hos- were now un- wontedly red, rather spoiled her good time by saying quietly: “Well, good-bye, madam. I don’t suppose I'll see you again. The fact i8, I haven’t time to go slumming my- self.’ "—Washington Star. Queer Audience Views Comedy. A four-act comedy recently given by the New York School for the Hard of { Hearing, created a singularly weird impression amongst those present who were not familiar with lip read- fng and the sign language. Words were used, but they were not meant 10 be heard, for the players and most of the audience were deaf. Cues and clever lines alike were read, not heard, and the lips of the silent speak- i eors were the media. Even the hand clapping, with which some of the audlience, unfamiliar with the conven- tions of the lipo-drama, were prompt- ed to express their applause, was dis- [ couraged by the knowing ones, who : seemed to manifest their approval by an airy wave of the hand aloft. In the longer play presented, pity was | taken upon that portion of the audi- ence which, though able to hear, was %0 ill-equipped as not to be able to read the lips of the performers. So in “Many a Slip ’'Twixt the Girl and the Lip” the lines were read out loud, even though they were mnot heard by any of the members of the cast. | Wolves in Western New York. For the first time in many years a pack of wolves has crossed the ice from Canada near the eastern end of Lake Erie. They are reported to be In the neighborhood of Westfield, N. Y., and are traveling westward. The farmers are frightened and scores of hunters are reported to be out seeking to kill the wild animals. A land company owning the point be- tween Westfleld and Dunkirk author- | 1zed the publication of a reward for the destruction or capture of five large wolves that several of the farmers described as having been seen attack- Ing sheep, farm dogs, cattle and horses.—Connaught News-Herald. Wasted Talent. “Mrs. Wuppsey’s friends think she would have made a great actress it she had adopted the stage as a pro- fession.” “Well, they may be right. She seems to be very clever as a mimic.” “Yes, and she hasn’t a solitary mole between the nape of her neck and the small of her back.” { Learned His Error. “So you have fired that red-headea office boy?” “Yes. And that youngster thought all the time he was a fireproof office boy.” L4 JEWELER HAD i ! Could Think of But One George Ade’s Seeming & of Him. George Ade was one of the prinei- | pal speakers at a recent banquet of the Illinois Manufacturers’ associa- tion. “When I was a cub reporter,” he confessed, “struggling along on & minute salary, I had just one asset in life which enabled me to ‘tide over that period in every week when pov- erty seemed to be staring me in the face. This consisted of a handsome gold watch, a keepsake of college days in Indiana. Tuesday wag Day- day at the newspaper office. Fri- day I would be ‘broke,” and I would tote the watch over to the pawnshop to a man who now conducts a hand- some jewelry shop on State street. | On the watch I obtained five dollars, and by administering my affairs care- fully I managed to worry through un- til pay-day. Then when I had re- celved my small sal#ry I would hurry to the pawnbroker’s and release my watch. Finally, after this had gone along for many months, I received a raise in pay. It was enough to re- lease me from the necessity of pawn- ing my watch regularly. One after- noon, about ten years afterward, I was accosted in State street by a [ man. I recognized my old pawnbrok- er friend, now a prosperous jeweler. ‘What’s the matter, George?’ were his | @rst words. ‘Did you lose that | wateh? ” “Say, Cohn, do you know a nice girl with lots of money for me to marry?” “Yes, I know several and I got pic- tures here. Bessie Sheinberg who has three thou- i sand dollars. And here’s one of Rosie Mutzenstein who has six thousand dol- lars and one of Helen Goldbery who bas a gold watch all paid for, three thousand dollars in the bank and I think I can fix it so you can live with her folks and it womt cost you any- thing for board.” “Oh, that’s nothing for me. I wunt s girl with some real money.” “Oh, at least $12,000 to $15,000.” “I got ome for you. Sarah Weisen- stein has got $12,000.” “That sounds good. Let’s see her picture.” “Oh, no; after $10,000 no pictures.” | Many sufferers from rheumatism have been surprised and delighted with the prompt relief afforded by applying Chamberlain's Liniment. Not one case of rheumatism in ten requires any internal treatment whatever. Thie liniment is for sale by Barker’s Drug Store THE BEMIDII DAILY PIONEER Now here's a picture of | BILL IS NOT YET Plumber Could and Did Worthily Amend It, But There the Matter Rested. “Owing to the drain pipe in the kitchen sink becoming clogged with grease, water would not run through it,” said Claude Cooper, comedian at the Warburton theater, Yonkers, ‘“‘so the landlady of our boarding house called a plumber. He repaired the damage In less than twenty minutes after he arrived. Along about the first of the month he sent in his bill— no, he brought 1t himself. ~The land- lady looked at the items, the total of which was $5.15. Amazed at the size of the charge, she became sarcastic. “Haven’t you forgotten something, Mr. Plumber? she said, with a sneer. “The man took the bill and careful- 1y read the various items. ‘Upon my word,’ he exclaimed, ‘I believe I have, lady,’ and he made the following addi ional entry: ‘To one and one-half hours’ time and trolley fares, going to shop and getting piece of lead_ pipe, $1.05” Thank you, lady. That makes the total $6.20.” “Did the woman pay the money?’ inquired Ramsey Wallace. “Do the robins nest in January? No, the woman hung up the bill, and it is still hanging. That was two Yyears ag0.”—N. Y. Press. RECEIPTED I A E RS LSRR R R 2 HOW TO FIND * The Northern Minnesota Devel- * opment Association Immigra. * tion CommisSion Quarters. 39.% Third Street, South, Minne- * apolis. * For the benefit of the readers % of the Pioneer this notice will % appear in both the Daily and * Weekly Pioneer for the next six % month. * On leaving the union depot * turn to the left and continue up. * Nicollet to Third street, cross- * ing that thoroughfare, turn to % the left and proceed half a * block, toward the postofiice. * From the Milwaukee depot, & turn to the left on Washington & avenue and continue to First & avenue, turn to the left and go & one block to Third street and * then one half block to the rigiit. % Daily Pioneer will be found % on file here. * L E R RS R R R R R RER] I E A E SR SRR REERREEREREREEESS Chamberlain’s Cough Remedy has won its great reputatiorn and exten- sive sale by its remarkable cures of coughs, colds and croup. It can be depended wupon. Try it. Sold by Barker’s Drug Store. BARGAIN oh, How I Htched! What long nerve-racking stant torture—what sleepless nights-,of terrible agony—itch—itch—itch, = con- stant itch, unul it seemed that I must tear off my very skin—then— Instant l'eliwt—my skin cooled, soothed and healed! The very first drops of D.D.D. Pre- scription for Eczema stopped that awful itch instantly: yes, the very moment D.D.D. touched ihe burning skin the tor- ture ceased. A 25c bottle proves it. D.D.D. has been known for years as the only absolutely reliable eczema remedy, for it washes away the disease germs and leaves the skin as clear and healthy as that of a child. All other druggists have D.D.D. Pre- seription—go to them it you can’t come to_us—but don't accept some biz profit substitute. But if you come to our store. we are 80 certain of what D.D.D. will do for you that we offer you a full size botile on this guarantee:—If you do not find that it takes away the itch AT ONCE, it costs you not a cent, Barker Drug Store. G. G. JOHNSON Lands Loans Stocks Come in and look over my list of lands in Polk and Red Lake Counties. Office—Bacon Block, ¥s of-con- We Were Fortunate In Buying a Large Line of Ladies’ Shirt Waists At 1-3 to 1-2 Less Than Wholesale Cost. the Money---Our Customers Get the Benefit The Manufacturer’s Needed 5 dozen Ladies’ broidered shirt waists, until sold Only one to a ' customer 20 dozen white shirt waists, very fine, trimmed in embroidery and laces, worth not less than $2.00 and up to $3.00, for 3 days only . . . white em- 49c¢ and colored $1.49 only W aists. 20 dozen very fine Ladies’ Waists, including linnen lace trimmed, also fine embroidery, worth $2.50 to $3.50, for3 days only $1. 10 dozen extra fine Ladies’ includes: waists - costing from $4.00 to $5.00. Sale pl'lCC This lot $2. 3 days only 98 med W aists, line of silk waists, worth for 3 days only’ U777, 49 10 dozen Ladies’ fancy white and embroidered waists, worth [l| $1.50 to $2.00, for 98¢ 5 dozen white and fancy trim- including a large and messaline $4.50 to $6.00, |Ht. . $2.98 Our Entire Stock of Shirt Waists Will Be On Sale At a Big Discount Friday, Saturday and Monday S, - s