Bemidji Daily Pioneer Newspaper, February 23, 1912, Page 8

8 POROOPOQOQPOQOOO®POGQ® ® WITH SHEARS AND PASTE. ¢ PPOCOODOOOOOOOO® A bald headed man went in to <'rother’s barber shop the other day. “I want my hair cut,” he said. “Both of them?" asked Crothers. * that Foreign missionaries say | many times it is almost impossible for them to translate English songs| into foreign languages and have the | result mean anything. As an exam- nle, a missionary stated that “Rock of Ages"” when translated into Hindu reads like this: ‘Very old stone, split for my benefit, Let me absent myself under one of thy fragments.” * | When J. Adam Bede, the Pine City numorist, backs into a dress suit, puts on a white tie and has his shoes shin- »d preparatory to delivering a politi- cal speech, such as he delivered in St. Paul Monday night, his listeners us- nally prepare for a string of good stories intermingled with expression of political ideas. His stories have doen much to bring him fame as a Chatauqua lecturer, and invariably vrovoke mirth. Mr. Bede told of a man in New York who went to a lawyer and told him he wanted a divorce because his wife had joined the suffragists. “What does that matter?” asked rhe lawyer. “Isn't she a good wife?” “Yes, she may be,” the lesser half »f the household replied, “but she won't do for me. I don’t mind mak- ing down the bed at night. It makes no difference whether I have to darn my socks or even if I have to get my own meals. But blamed if I'll go any further puttin’ pink bows in my aightshirt to fool the baby. I want « divorce.” The traditional bet of a dollar to a loughtnut was recently made in a lown town cafe. The man who put 1p the doughnut won. but when the stakes were turned over he found that the odds were not so much in his fa- vor as he had imagined. The dollar was like the doughnut—had a hole in it.— Louisville Courrier-Journal. ® in a Virginia courthouse a negro was describing how a cutting scrape started. “Dis here Johnson nigger started toward me.” said the witness; “and +7 he done so he stuck his hend down in his hip pocket. And I says to him, Naigger,’ 1 says, ‘whutever you has got your hand on now better be a chick- «n, ‘cause | suttinly is gwine to make vou eat it!"” * Following 1s a copy of a letter re- cefved by a Michigan wholesale house from a California customer: ‘Mister Leaser, “Sali House ‘Dear Fren— “i got the valve witch i by from sou alrite but why for lands sake you Jdoan send me no handie? i jooseto me wustomers sure thing, you doan treet mea rit. i wate 10 days and my custo- THE mer he holler for water like hell for the valve. the valve she got no handle so what the hell i goan to do? you doan send me no handle pretty quick i send her back and i goan order some valve for Krain Company Good by Your fren, in the box, secuse to me."’ * A railroad man entered a Bemidji restaurant the other day and in ask- ing for pancakes said to the waitress: “Say, sister, shunt a string of flats jdown my siding.” PP EOPOOOOOET @ @ CALENDAR OF SPORTS FOR ¢ @ THE WEEK ® POV OCOCOO®P RIS FRIDAY. Indoor speed skating championship of the middle West at Cleveland. ?M‘mnesota. Indoor meet of the Pacific Atheltic Association at San Francisco. Mike Gibbons vs. Willie Lewis, 10 rounds, at New York City. INDIVIDUAL COW Of Northern Minnesota is Said to Produce About 150 Pounds of Butter Fat STRAIN SHOULD BE IMPROVED The average cow in Minnesota and the northwest proauces about ome hundred and fifty pounds of butter fat per year, and this butter fat just about pays the owner for her feed and care. The average man just about earns what he spends, but the ambitious farmer or business man seeks to make a record that is above the average, and the farmer or dairy- man who would make a profit on his cows must secure that strain that is above the average, and then he must feed them by methods more intelli- gent than those used by the average farmer if he would succeed in his ambition to excel. But the way to accomplish results in a work of this kind is to get at it at once and you will acquire knowl- edge as the work progresses. Start out by securing a suitable scale or balance for weighing of milk and a small tester for determination of the butter fat, together with a book or milk sheet and a pencil for a per- manent record of results; and after a few months’ use of these, even he- | fore you have investigated much in the way of proper feeding, you will have found that some of your cows are much above the average and that others fall so far below it that you should be rid of them at once. —G. L. Hubbell. The l_’ioneer Wan_t Ads | i CASH WITH GOPY l/2 cent per word per issup | charge rate | cent per word per insertion. No ad taken for less than Phone 31 HOW THOSE WANT ADS DO THE BUSINESS The Ploneer doe ~nd people wheido no 4 g-ts o them all, rerywhere so tha tell what you have to seli to everybody in Bemidji. t everyone has a neighbor who takes it e the paper generally read their neighbor’s so your want | 14 Cent a Word Is All it Costs Can't Lose Much by Taking a Chance HELP. WANTED WANTED--School girl. Mrs, E. Achenbach, 131 Beltrami Ave. Wi FOR SALE "OR SALK—18’-6" gasoline launch and boat house. Launch run last season, cushion seats, electric headlight, storage battery, spray| hood and fine motor, fully equip- ped. Boat house with 72 gallon gasoline tank, pulleys, block and tackle, repair shop, tools, etc. Will sell cheap if taken at once. Ad- dress box 474, or phone 535, Be- midji, Minn. ‘l have about 100 cords of poplar wood for sale cheap at $2.00 a cord. | Delivered to any part of the city.| Apply Nicolett Hotel. ——— | JFOR SALE—Rubber stamps. The| Piouneer will procure any kind of a rubber stamp for you on short notice. | sale. 221 3rd ST§ FOR RENT—Two furnished rooms at 917 Minnesota Ave. Phone 164. 5§0R RENT—5 angd six room house. A. Klein. MISCELLANEOUS ADVERTISERS—The great state of North Dakota offers unlimited op- portunities for business to classi- fied advertisers. The recognized advertising medium is the Fargo Daily and Sunday Courler-News, the only seven day paper in the state and the paper which carries the largest amount of classified advertising. Thne w<ourler-News covers North Dakota like a blank- et; reaching all parts of the state the day of publication; it i1s the paper to use In order to get re- sults; rates one cent per word first insertion, one-half cent per word succedding insertion; fifty cents per line per month. Address the Courier-News, Fargo, N. D. WANTED—Dining and sleeping car conductors, $76-$125. Experience unnecessary, we teach you, write Dining Car World, 125 W. Van Buren, Chicago. WANTED TO TRADE—What have you to trade for new standard pia- no? Call at second hand -etore, FOR RENT— ished room| at 523 Minke Meat Mark( 0dd Fellows Bldg. UGHT AND furniture. 04| across from D—Second hand ‘ellows building, fice, phone 129, PINE RIVER TO ENTERTAIN To Act As Host to Cass County Devel- opment Association On March 1. A. G. WEDGE ON THE PROGRAM Cass Lake, Feb. 23.—The program for the convention of the Cass County Development association to be held at Pine River, Minn., on Friday, March 1, has been issued. The meet- ing will be called to order by Dr. D. F. Dumas, president of the associa- tion and mayor of Cass Lake. The address of welcome will be delivered by Mayor Bowman, of Pine River, Other addresses will be as follows: “The Northern Minnesota Devel- opment association,” F. J. McPartlin, county attorney, Koochiching county. “What the législature of 1911 did for northern Minnesota,” C. H. War- ner, member of the legislature, Fifty- second district. «The immigration commission of the Northern Minesota Development association,” A. G. Wedge, Jr., treas- urer of the immigration commission. «What shall we do to develop the resources of Cass county?” B.L. Perry, member of board of county | commissioners, Cass county. ! «“pPrunk Line Roads,” C. M. King, president of the Northern Minnesota Development association. “The relation of good roads to de- velopment,” P. V. Coppernell, attor- ney, Park Rapids. “The Northern Minnesota Editor- ial association,” F. A. Dare, presi- dent of the Northern Minnesota Editorial association. “Cass county,” William M. attorney, Cass Lake. “Results of Development,” P. H. McGarry, member of 1909 legisla- ture. “The State Fair Exhibit ' of Cass county, Minnesota, for 1912,” Geer J. 8ilk, manager of 1912 Cass county state fair exhibit. Pine River citizens will meet the delegates at the train with the band, and the Pine River orchestra will furnish music at the recesses of the convention. STOPS APPOINTMENTS Wood, President Taft Holds Up Federal Jobs And Clears Way For A Big State Fight. CAROLINA BATTLE GROUND i By withdrawing all pending feder- al appointments in North Carolina, President Taft startled the Republi- {can leaders and cleared the way for a fight which is expected to result in ian uninstructed delegation {North Carolina to the national convention. i Republicans charge that the presi- !dent is simply hanging up all the | North Carolina jobs as a prize to the | faction which - will win out in the state fight and deliver twenty-four votes in the national convention. Advises from Washington of late are to the further effect that pressure has already been brought to bear in several southern states to hold up appointments in Congressional dis- tricts where there seems to be a liklihood of Progressive sentiment in any marked degree. The resignation of Representative McKinley as chair- man of the Republican Congressional committee and the appointment in his stead of Burke of South Dakota appears not to have lessened the menace of the “steam- roller” in the eyes of many members of Congress. from Republican Progressive Locking Up the Stable. The chancellor of the exchequer was putting up the iron shutters while the first Lord of the Admiralty stowed away the show case. “There’s no use takin’ chances,” says the chancellor. “Britannia’s shop must be protected at all ’azards.” “Right you are,” remarked the ad- miralty chap. “W’y, them stone- throwin’ lydies busted enough window glass on their last suffrin’ rampyge to build a battleship an’ arf a dozen col- liers.”—Cleveland Plain Dealer. Simple Liniment. A simple liniment that is good for a strained back after a siege of house- work calls for four tablespoonfuls of strong ammonia, four tablespoonfuls ©of alcohol, two large tablespoonfuls of salt and about a quart of rain water. Put these ingredients into a bottle and phake well. As soon as the salt is dis- Bolved it 1s ready for use. When need- ed rub the back with the liniment and continue the rubbing until the surface warm with the frictfon. Dobbins—After all 1 spent on that girl her father chased me out of the house. Wobbins—Well, you had a run for your money. Absorb Water Through the Skin: Experiments have been made with: frogs which tend to show that those: animals rapidly absorb water through: the pores of the skin. Emphasis is: laid by certain authorities upon the fact that frogs never take water by the mouth. On being exposed for sev- eral hours to dry air some frogs ex-: perimented with lost 14 per cent. of their weight, but this was nearly all: regained within 24 hours when they | but this permission has seldom been granted. Some years ago a grandson | § | of Cheng Chang Keng, The Actor im China. It she new regime in Chima suc- ceeds in abolishing class distinction in civil administration: it wiit have ac- complished a difficult task. Hitherto | three classes of the Population have been esteemed by the Chinese “low- est of the low,” these being actors, barbers and chiropodists. These and their children are barred from becom- ing Mandarins. Their grandsons, ac- cording to the letter of the law, are permitted to hold government posts, the most famous Pekin actor of his day, was appointed one of the secretaries of the Chinese legation in Berlin. The' ap- pointment aroused a storm of protest | among official circles in China, and but for the support of the empress dowager would have been' revoked. Appeal of the Afflicted. It was Walter’s first visit to church, and he tried hard to remember all the varied instructions he had received, such as not whispering, keeping his head bowed during the prayer, etc. But during the main petition. of the service nature won a complete battle over memory and decorum. “Mother,” shrilled the weary Yyoungster, “when will it be time for me to straighten. my neck? It's-like to break if I.don't: do it soon!™" Telephone Dr. J.A. McClure| your horse troubles. No charge to answer Phones, No trouble to [ only mounting that will hold 'your fenses in place firmly with a slight: pressuee; § and that is the better half of eye glass § visiva is certain to be the resuit. EYE GLASS MOUNTING With the curved top guards is the comfort. No matter how wel-adapted your Ienses may be, if the mounting is ili-fitting and hurts the mose, inperfect A FULL LINE OF OPTI- CAL GOODS. Including Colored Glasses, broken: lenses duplicated and Spectacle Repairs of every description. Geo. T. Baker & Co. Manufacturing Jewelers were placed in a dish containing wae- ter only one centimeter in depth. 116. 3id St. Near the Lake. show goods. Vet ry Remedies for sale r.J. A. McCre, Phone. 105. Brilliant Assemblage Of Spring Goods As in the springs past, you’ll come to this store to-find out what fashion has planned to rule the new season. We are. ready to show you all the style tendencies. There is no season of the year when the store is-more interesting than it begins to be now. With] the great sales drawing to a close, we can give our full attention to the new goods which are pouring into the store from every express train. They are going on show as fast as ever we can get them there. These hints today=--just forerunners of what is to. come=-=-give a notion why people generally look to Berman’s for the earliest view of the new goods. Spring Blossoming Out Here Suits and Coats | | Waists and Dresses Extraordinary display of spring . To know what styles are real¥y apparel in women’s ready-to-wear right you should see this splendid garments. There is a great ad- array of ready-to-wear exhibit. vantage in purchasing now as this Some startling values will meet early display contains the latest your gaze in this department. creations for the 1912 season. Waists inlaid with new heavy UXfflde and s"ppers laces, showing the newest creations. Daily and hourly are these goods arriving. The newest lasts and shapes. Slippers in many colors will be all the go this season. Messaline Petticoats Special Sale In all colors and white. extra wide and some narrow. $2.85 Dresses and Dress Goods are here in a variety that is larger § than ever,including new Foulards | Silks and Satin Border Voils. Silk Princess Slips Special Sale Silk Messaline Princess Slips, trimmed in lace and all colors $5.00 Some Among many other new spring ideas are included those of special mention--NEW LINEN DRESSES, NECKWEAR, GINGHAI'l DRESSES Ladies’ White Bags and Purses and many extreme silk creations. Correct styles in women’s spring suits, skirts and silk dresses. Proper style enters largely into the selection of a weman’s street suit==-not alone proper cut of coat and skirt, but proper fabric, trim= ming and color are most necessary features of smart apparel. These points mark our showing of women’s spring suits as exceptional. Winding Up of Winter Sale With this introduction of spring creations we announce the final wind up of our great winter sale. There are still many bargains left. They will be closed out at exceptional sacrifice. THE BERMAN EMPORIUM